Marek28
14-12-12, 14:34
Hello guys,
Not sure where to begin. I have been on a severe decline for quite a few months now which has eventually resulted in me taking time out of work and seeing a GP with a request for a prescription of an antidepressant. I also have an appointment scheduled for this Tuesday with someone from Healthy Minds who will hopefully help me to get my bearings. I am seriously at my wits ends. It is not the first time I have suffered with an outbreak of anxiety / depression but this time it seems very different as it is no longer about trying to get over this, it is more about trying to understand what's been happening with me throughout my whole life that has led me to feeling the way I do. I feel as if I've spent my whole life in a shell without any contact with the outside world and I now find the world a very scary place to be - I am seriously worried about my future and what will happen as I can't bear myself and the way I perceive this world. I have always been very shy talking to people and I preferred dealing with everything on my own - however, turns out I am not very good at things as constant anxiety has made me totally useless and I have no knowledge/memory - all suffered. I can't have interesting/even boring conversations as there is nothing in my head full stop. I am so jealous of people who do not suffer with these issues. My boyfriend keeps saying that this is only temporary but how can he not see what has been happening with me for the last seven years we have spent together? I am seriously at my wits ends, second week on my medication so I guess people will say that that's the reason but I feel I have missed out soooo much on my life already by not engaging with people, by not creating opportunities for myself and people around me, by ignoring my friends and family. My head hurts really bad right now so I better stop now. Will come back later, hope to anyway.
Not sure where to begin. I have been on a severe decline for quite a few months now which has eventually resulted in me taking time out of work and seeing a GP with a request for a prescription of an antidepressant. I also have an appointment scheduled for this Tuesday with someone from Healthy Minds who will hopefully help me to get my bearings. I am seriously at my wits ends. It is not the first time I have suffered with an outbreak of anxiety / depression but this time it seems very different as it is no longer about trying to get over this, it is more about trying to understand what's been happening with me throughout my whole life that has led me to feeling the way I do. I feel as if I've spent my whole life in a shell without any contact with the outside world and I now find the world a very scary place to be - I am seriously worried about my future and what will happen as I can't bear myself and the way I perceive this world. I have always been very shy talking to people and I preferred dealing with everything on my own - however, turns out I am not very good at things as constant anxiety has made me totally useless and I have no knowledge/memory - all suffered. I can't have interesting/even boring conversations as there is nothing in my head full stop. I am so jealous of people who do not suffer with these issues. My boyfriend keeps saying that this is only temporary but how can he not see what has been happening with me for the last seven years we have spent together? I am seriously at my wits ends, second week on my medication so I guess people will say that that's the reason but I feel I have missed out soooo much on my life already by not engaging with people, by not creating opportunities for myself and people around me, by ignoring my friends and family. My head hurts really bad right now so I better stop now. Will come back later, hope to anyway.