GF diagnosed with Leukemia

[Rhys1879SAFC]

Hey all.

I'm 20 and my girlfriend is 19.

We've been going out for 2 months, she told me she had been having dizzy spells and other symptoms and had been told she had anaemia before we got together and she had been having treatment for that for a while.

She had a blood test 4 weeks ago and things came back okay but had another one on Wednesday and things were bad enough for the hospital to send her for an emergency appointment on Thursday where she had bone marrow taken out and tested.

She was told on Friday she has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

She starts Chemotherapy on Monday.

The news has hit me incredibly hard, I can't begin to imagine what must be going through her mind right now. It seems like just as something good starts to happen life finds a way to snuff the happiness out. I feel numb and lost in a sea of depression.

She was told she won't be able to have kids after treatment which tore at my soul as I've always wanted kids, but she has since been told there is a chance she might be able to have them.

I'm standing by her side through all of this and have no intention of leaving her or abandoning her, I'm struggling to cope with the task ahead though. Its going to be incredibly hard seeing her lose her hair and become so ill. The type of cancer she has is one of the most curable but I just keep getting thoughts in my head that she's not going to make it and it terrifies me because although we haven't been an item long I have known and cared for her for 6 years and now we're together my feelings for her have obviously surged to the point where I think I'm in love with her and we were starting to think long term.

Just had to get that off my chest, and was wondering if anyone had any experience they could share with me.

[Mark13]

I don't have any experience of this, but just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're both having to go through this and hope that there's a positive outcome and that your GF will be fine in time.

All the best.

Mark

[Annie0904]

I am sorry for you and your girlfriend having to go through this and want to send you hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[nicola1980]

sending you and your girlfriend :hugs: :hugs: stay strong :hugs: :hugs: xx

[Edie]

Rhys, I'm very sorry to hear this news.

Of course this is awful for her, and she deserves all the support she can get. But remember that it's also very difficult for you. Everyone is going to be focussed on supporting her and her parents, they are not going to recognise the impact on you, especially as your relationship is so new.

Although you are very young, you have a very mature outlook, and your girlfriend is very lucky to have you by her side.

There are many ways of having children. When your girlfriend is well and the time is right, you still have a chance of having children naturally. Science is bringing us new options all the time, and you might want to consider adoption. You sound like a man with a lot to give, and having children of your own is not the only way to make a difference to children's lives.

I've never had anyone close with a severe illness, so I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. All I can say is lean on your family and friends for support, try to maintain a good relationship with your girlfriend's family, laugh together as much as you can, and when you need to cry, it's OK to do that together too.

The Teenage Cancer Trust say they support young people with cancer, and their families, including partners, through their Family Support Networks. Maybe it's worth contacting them to see what they can offer you all through this difficult time.

I really hope your girlfriend will recover well. It sounds like she is getting the right help without delay, so that is really good news. Take care.

[Anxious_gal]

Aw I'm sorry :(
On the good side women tend to fair better than men with that type of cancer. Plus she's still fairly young :)

Wow I almost feel like I should prepare you, which isn't really possiable.
When my family member got leukaemia I felt sick for days after hearing the news.

She will need full time care.
She will lose her hair, loose a lot of weight, have days where she's in bed tired.
I assume she will be in and out of the hospital a lot.
Also keep a close eye on her temperature, I'lf it's high she may need to go to hospital.
Be aware of headaches if she's on steroids, ask the doctor about that.
Let her be upset and express her feelings, I know she will try to act happy to help stop people from being too worried but it can drain her more.
It might help if you have support too as it'll be very stressful on you.

Keep a diary for all her appointments, she'll need a big folder for all her medical documents and test results, maybe a big box for all her medication.
Hot water bottles, ice gel packs, pjs and extra dressing gowns. Lots of baby wipes, anibacterial wipes and hand gel! As her immune system will be low. The baby wipes are just for helping her clean when she's unable to bathe.

She could need help with bathing, dressing, washing and that when she gets into the chemo .
Also charities can be very helpful! They'll often lend you wheel chairs, my family memember got a wig from another charity which made her feel better about the hairloss.

Um, oh food! It can be hard to find high calorie food that she'll be willing to eat.
The doctor may prescribe high calorie health type drinks.
Have lots of fizzy or sugary drinks, milks, soups, hot chocolate to keep her hydrated.

Sorry if this isn't really helpful.
But my family member did get better, she's doing fine now.
I used to often do her makeup for her,,watch movies with her, just cuddle up on the bed with her when she was sick.
So really every little thing you do will be helpful :)

Don't take it personally if she gets moody, it's just the stress and all the medication.
Imagine having the flu for weeks on end!
She will have good days too!

But watching her become ill and looking sick will be hard and you'll have days or nights where things aren't looking good at all.
But all you can do is be there for her, just take ever day as it comes.

But look after your self too!

[almamatters]

Hi just wanted to send you hugs :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Sparkle1984]

I don't have any experience of this, but I just wanted to send hugs to you and your girlfriend. I hope she will get through this. :hugs::hugs:

[bernie1977]

So sorry to hear such sad news. Glad your girlfriend has you to help her through this :hugs:

[skylace22]

So sorry to read about your girlfriends diagnosis - I can't even begin to describe how much I hate cancer.

I don't know a great deal about leukamia but I wanted to post a reply because in March 2010, my Mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (which had already spread to the bones). It is incredibly difficult seeing a loved one with cancer and the effects of treatment. If someone had told me a year before what would happen I never thought I could cope but you somehow find an inner strength. Prior to my mums diagnosis I wasn't going out of my flat alone but I went to all of my mums appointments (did have to take a small dose of valium to help). I managed to push my anxiety to the back of my mind and focus on my Mum. Its strange because both mum and I were naturally pessimistic people but upon her diagnosis we started to become positive because we needed hope.

My mum passed away last July - she was diagnosed at stage 4 and lung cancer is aggressive. Your girlfriend is young and it sounds like it has been detected early which is good.

I don't really know what to say except to try to stay as strong as you can - I know this isn't always possible - I would keep things bottled up until I was on my own and then cry. Cancer affects not only the person suffering with it but has a huge impact on family members and loved ones so make sure you take good care of yourself.

For me, researching my mums cancer helped a lot - I believe that knowledge is power and it is something which I needed at a later date. I also kept notes of appointment dates, scans, treatments and what had been discussed. My sisters found it too difficult to research into it because of anything bad they might read.

The hospital should give plenty of information regarding side effects of treatment and support for yourself and her family.

You will go through a rollercoaster of emotions which is pretty normal - one thing I found difficult was that I couldn't understand what it must have been like for my Mum - I believe that until you have experienced something yourself you can never fully understand a persons situation - you can, however be there for support and listen to your girlfriend because she too will go through varying emotions.

It is a scary time but you seem extremely mature - when my Mum was diagnosed I wanted to run away, cut off contact - I think it was a knee jerk reaction but I realised I had to be there to help her. It isn't easy but for me, finding support online helped immensely - being a care giver or part of a network of care givers can be very difficult and I don't think there is enough recognition for what carers do (in the UK anyway).

I was fortunate and still am that I have an amazing GP who saw me regularly before and since my Mum passed away - having someone to talk to really does help.

Wishing your girlfriend - and yourself all the best. Cancer is a beast but it CAN be beaten. Stay strong