BlueNowhere
17-12-12, 13:23
The topic title sums up how I feel...
A couple of years ago I went to Asia. Almost every night I spent lying awake, wishing I could go home, worrying that for some reason or another some awfully dark thing would happen.
I said I'd never go that far away from home again. I'm fine travelling to Europe.
After a lot of pleading, my girlfriend convinced me to spend New Year with her in Asia. I refused last year, but having started SSRIs and some changes in my behaviour I thought I might be able to do it. So I agreed. I even discussed it with my doctor and we modified my prescription.
And I've been looking forward to it - I like to see and experience new things; we've got some nice things planned.
Then yesterday I started packing. As soon as the first shirt was in my suitcase I pretty much seized up, feeling sick and scared. It's terrifying to think that I'm going to end up stuck the other side of the world, if anything happens I'll be in completely unfamiliar territory, no control or understanding of the things around me. I keep having thoughts that the worst will happen.
And this is without even thinking about the closed space of an airplane full of strangers, spending a month in the same bed as my girlfriend (we live alone - I appreciate time to myself), inevitable d&v and overbearing heat.
Does anyone have any friendly advice or techniques for overcoming this sort of anxiety?
I thought I would be fine but to be hit by this anxiety feels now isn't good. I'm too late to see my doctor or the mental health unit. I've asked for an appointment with my institution's counselor but I don't think they'll have a spot before I leave.
I mainly joined so that I could say this to people who might be able to relate. My girlfriend knows I get anxious about some things, but I don't think she fully gets it.
A couple of years ago I went to Asia. Almost every night I spent lying awake, wishing I could go home, worrying that for some reason or another some awfully dark thing would happen.
I said I'd never go that far away from home again. I'm fine travelling to Europe.
After a lot of pleading, my girlfriend convinced me to spend New Year with her in Asia. I refused last year, but having started SSRIs and some changes in my behaviour I thought I might be able to do it. So I agreed. I even discussed it with my doctor and we modified my prescription.
And I've been looking forward to it - I like to see and experience new things; we've got some nice things planned.
Then yesterday I started packing. As soon as the first shirt was in my suitcase I pretty much seized up, feeling sick and scared. It's terrifying to think that I'm going to end up stuck the other side of the world, if anything happens I'll be in completely unfamiliar territory, no control or understanding of the things around me. I keep having thoughts that the worst will happen.
And this is without even thinking about the closed space of an airplane full of strangers, spending a month in the same bed as my girlfriend (we live alone - I appreciate time to myself), inevitable d&v and overbearing heat.
Does anyone have any friendly advice or techniques for overcoming this sort of anxiety?
I thought I would be fine but to be hit by this anxiety feels now isn't good. I'm too late to see my doctor or the mental health unit. I've asked for an appointment with my institution's counselor but I don't think they'll have a spot before I leave.
I mainly joined so that I could say this to people who might be able to relate. My girlfriend knows I get anxious about some things, but I don't think she fully gets it.