Getting Worse

[Bones19]

Hi,

I am new to this forum- have posted in the 'introduce yourself' section

I basically got sent home from uni after feeling stressed and then had a massive panic attack.

I have started back on the prozac (had 7 days worth now) which I was on for 3 1/2 years and came off in September. Felt ok for the first few days at home with constant underlying anxiety and the occasional waves of panic. Then the other night it got really bad, couldn't relax at all, just kept getting waves and waves of anxiety- it lasted about an hour so I took 4 mg diazepam, that sent me to sleep but I woke an hour later feeling the same- basically had a very restless night.

By morning I felt like I was loosing it- shaking, rocking back and forth, heart pounding, couldn't eat or drink. I tried deep breathing exercises and listening to relaxing music which would settle me for all of 10 seconds then another wave would hit me.

When I read about panic attacks they usually last 20mins-1 hour- is it normal to be in such an acute attack of severe anxiety for so long? I know the idea of trying to breathe through the attack and it will dissipate but I feel like that isn't working- as soon as I move/think about doing something else e.g. walking to another room it hits me again.

Mum spoke to the doctors who gave me a sleeping tablets and more diazepam telling me to take 6mg at a time. I did but that just made me feel dopey but still agitated inside. Made it through the day and took 7.5mg zopiclone at 9pm and woke at 4am feeling horrendous so took more diazepam to help me sleep and woke up 5 hours later. I don't want to need these meds but at the moment its the only way my body is getting any relaxation.

I feel like I am going crazy- I just want some respite from this as I am struggling to eat properly. Just the thought of doing anything brings back the waves of anxiety. I feel claustrophobic in my own skin.

Mums booked me an appointment at a private therapist today so I am going to go an talk to her later. I just sick of this, a couple of weeks ago I was 'normal' going out on placements and doing my studying, now I am a wreck- I've never had anything this bad before- In the past my main problem was depression- I just wish there was something to stop the constant assault of adrenalin.

Thanks for reading.

[Col]

Hi bones , r u studying medicine????

Go to the therapist and meanwhile have u spoken to uni??? Re - coursework deadline & putting in extenuating circumstances??? I think thats very important to take the pressure off, whilst you get a hold of this problem. Trust me been there, I know.
Meanwhile, sleep as much as you can eat fresh foods and honey, magnesium and omega suppliments, could help. Hope all goes well with therapist x

[Bones19]

Thanks for the replies guys,

Yes I am studying medicine. The uni know all about what's happening and gave me the last week of term off (I'm now on xmas hols) and extended my deadlines- I'm not due back until 7th Jan but I still panic sometimes that i won't be fit to return then.

I can't take beta blockers because I have asthma- I soooo wish I could take them as I think they would really help .

The therapist was very nice and I felt a bit better talking it all through with someone other than mum. My sister has come home for the holidays now too so there is someone else to talk to. I've stopped taking the diazepam as it really wasn't helping.

I managed to go out into town yesterday and do a few bits of xmas shopping, I felt pretty horrendous, but then I just feel on edge all the time where ever I am, I would love some respite from myself!

Bones xxxx

[Tufty]

Hi Bones,

I can relate to your experience of waves of panic that last for hours - I too have read that panic attacks only last minutes but when I start SSRI's mine can go on for days. I've often said I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I'm pretty resiliant and don't panic about anything in particular it's all about how awful I feel. When I restart SSRI's I get restless, sweat, nausea, panic, diarrhoea, shaking and Diazepam does little to relieve the symptoms - it is basically terrifying BUT it does recede and leave you exhausted and shakey for a while afterwards.

If you've managed over 7 days of Prozac now you should be over the worst of the side effects, it sounds like they've hit you hard early on. I've taken Prozac and get the same awful side effects each time I start them and it is the drug and not you, you've done well to stick with them and go into town.

By the time you're due back at uni you'll have been on them a month and the side effects should have settled right down. Try not to add to the fear by thinking 'what if', it won't help and don't think you're going crazy - you're definately not. Remember this will pass and you'll carry on with your life, as we all will, it's just a temporary pause in normal service - your brain and bodies way of saying STOP.
Take Care
Love Sam

[Bones19]

Well, I survived xmas, although it was probably the worst xmas I've ever had! Didn't help that we were staying with lots of relatives who I didn't really feel comfortable showing how awful I felt so kept having to go and hide from them. I was still having severe anxiety and panic everyday- I would wake feeling panicked and the anxiety would build up all morning until about 12 ish where I would end up in the corner of the room so agitated I couldn't bear it any more and cry for about an hour to my mum.

That would usually ease off some of the tension and I could manage through the rest of the day finally feeling more relaxed by about 8pm, but once I woke the next morning it would all start again. Mum made me take diazepam on boxing day as I was horrendously agitated and that actually helped this time (when I'd taken it a week before it made me feel worse).

So I am now getting up feeling horrendously anxious (heart pounding, feeling sick, can stand the thought of doing anything, flashes of adrenalin flooding through my body) and take 2-4mg diazepam which takes the edge off for the day. By the evening 4-5pm starting to feel human again and my rational brain is back in control and I feel like I can cope with everything and will be ready to return to uni next week- then when I wake up I feel terrible again and can't face the thought of going back to uni- such a vicious circle.

Tried going for a three mile run this morning when I got up, I think it helped but only a tiny bit, still took some diazepam but only half the dose I did yesterday.

I have been on prozac 20mg for nearly three weeks, I'm going to see the GP next week hopefully- perhaps I need to increase the dose. I only feel marginally better than I did three weeks ago when all this started- the meds just made me feel much worse for about 2 weeks then slowly started improving back to the place where I was when this all started.

Bones xx

[tinkerbella]

I ave extremely bad anxiety which dosnt seem to ease off i can't cope with this feeling much longer any ideas.x