Cre5po
18-12-12, 20:48
Hey ladies and gents, not posted here since an introduction message of mine a couple of years ago
I'm now 22, don't work (Though my medical assessment recently will no doubt see to that) and I have a young daughter, due to unforeseen circumstances I'm not with the mother though I see her regularly as to do I see my two little sisters aged 3 and 1
A year ago I honestly don't recall having a problem thinking about getting a cold, feeling ill or focusing on the discomforts I've had in the past, I think I grit my teeth and got on with it because I had to, however, this year has been totally different and the past few weeks have been incredibly difficult
I'm still on Sertraline (150mg per day) and some other tablets 3 times a day for IBS, I guess until now they were okay, as I've not worked and had few appointments to attend scaling the anxiety has been difficult, I'm not quite sure if they are working or not though that right now isn't the problem
There hasn't been a day the last couple of weeks where I haven't heard from someone or read that this s1ckness bug has been going around, in schools at work and well, to me, in public as well. I've had to walk for 10 minutes to my local town centre on multiple occasions to get Christmas shopping and each time I come back be it 10 minutes after or 10 hours after, if I get any symptoms of a cold or feeling off I panic, to the point that I haven't come across since I was 17.
Now I don't want to burden you with my past as such but a combination of that and the bug going around have put my body on full alert, it's almost like I've lost control and it's doing its own thing - I'm sub-consciously thinking of being ill all the time or passing out and being ill, as I sit here now it's hard to know if in 24 hours I may perhaps you know...do that thing I hate thinking of
Like many people though I haven't v*mited for the best part of 7-8 years and to be honest I've completely forgotten what it's like to and despite the obvious part being it's horrid my mind is filling up with exaggerated scenarios, I'm questioning whether to go out, eat, drink certain things and I don't quite know why, it's become the driving force behind my life once again and I'm finding it harder to break because I can't understand my own thought process, it's stopping me seeing my daughter regularly, it's making me go out less than before (Which was only 2-3 times a week anyway) and due to my lack of "friends" / partner I had before talking these things through is few and far between, it's a case of feeling it's mind vs body and my body is coming out on top
The fact I have a daughter and younger siblings around a lot adds to this worry, not only because I don't want them even at their age to see me vulnerable but also in case they get ill and I neglect seeing them due to it
Some will read this and wander if I'm asking a question or just venting, I suppose a bit of both, it's always been a great pleasure of mine to read other like-minded individuals because their experiences give me hope that I can do what they've done or at least show that I'm not alone, despite those people being behind computer screens!
I guess what I'm saying is thanks for the inspiration that's got me through a couple of years, I've always found it a lot easier to help others besides myself so if anyone wants a chat sometime or has any suggestions to that massive ramble above I'd love to hear them
I wish you all a happy Christmas and pray that for you and myself it is s1ckness free!
I'm now 22, don't work (Though my medical assessment recently will no doubt see to that) and I have a young daughter, due to unforeseen circumstances I'm not with the mother though I see her regularly as to do I see my two little sisters aged 3 and 1
A year ago I honestly don't recall having a problem thinking about getting a cold, feeling ill or focusing on the discomforts I've had in the past, I think I grit my teeth and got on with it because I had to, however, this year has been totally different and the past few weeks have been incredibly difficult
I'm still on Sertraline (150mg per day) and some other tablets 3 times a day for IBS, I guess until now they were okay, as I've not worked and had few appointments to attend scaling the anxiety has been difficult, I'm not quite sure if they are working or not though that right now isn't the problem
There hasn't been a day the last couple of weeks where I haven't heard from someone or read that this s1ckness bug has been going around, in schools at work and well, to me, in public as well. I've had to walk for 10 minutes to my local town centre on multiple occasions to get Christmas shopping and each time I come back be it 10 minutes after or 10 hours after, if I get any symptoms of a cold or feeling off I panic, to the point that I haven't come across since I was 17.
Now I don't want to burden you with my past as such but a combination of that and the bug going around have put my body on full alert, it's almost like I've lost control and it's doing its own thing - I'm sub-consciously thinking of being ill all the time or passing out and being ill, as I sit here now it's hard to know if in 24 hours I may perhaps you know...do that thing I hate thinking of
Like many people though I haven't v*mited for the best part of 7-8 years and to be honest I've completely forgotten what it's like to and despite the obvious part being it's horrid my mind is filling up with exaggerated scenarios, I'm questioning whether to go out, eat, drink certain things and I don't quite know why, it's become the driving force behind my life once again and I'm finding it harder to break because I can't understand my own thought process, it's stopping me seeing my daughter regularly, it's making me go out less than before (Which was only 2-3 times a week anyway) and due to my lack of "friends" / partner I had before talking these things through is few and far between, it's a case of feeling it's mind vs body and my body is coming out on top
The fact I have a daughter and younger siblings around a lot adds to this worry, not only because I don't want them even at their age to see me vulnerable but also in case they get ill and I neglect seeing them due to it
Some will read this and wander if I'm asking a question or just venting, I suppose a bit of both, it's always been a great pleasure of mine to read other like-minded individuals because their experiences give me hope that I can do what they've done or at least show that I'm not alone, despite those people being behind computer screens!
I guess what I'm saying is thanks for the inspiration that's got me through a couple of years, I've always found it a lot easier to help others besides myself so if anyone wants a chat sometime or has any suggestions to that massive ramble above I'd love to hear them
I wish you all a happy Christmas and pray that for you and myself it is s1ckness free!