And it all comes crashing down....

[Munki]

I'm really going through it! After a year of many ups and downs (more downs) you think you've coped then you do that womanly thing that is CRACK!

In a nutshell, a few of my friends have very suddenly lost their Mums over the course of the year which has provided a blow as well as a real shock to us all! My Moms aunt also died whilst in her care very sadly, my Uncle nearly died in May right before my wedding (he were told to say our goodbyes but after the special touch of a wonderful doctor, managed to pull through and now lives a normal life!!) and last week my beautiful 15 year old persian had to go to cat heaven.
I'm very close to my Mum (only child) and hubby and I are currently living at Mums. We move on Dec 28th. All of a sudden, its like I can't cope. I can't breathe! It's like everything has come crashing down on me and i find myself shaking and crying uncontrollably!

I'm terrified of losing my Mum even though she's 'okay' and am fearful that she won't cope when I move out. I'm only moving 10 minutes away! I honestly have this cloud over me and I feel terrible.

Does anyone know what this is? Has a hard year just come crashing down? I almost want to delay moving until January but I don't want to let hubby down as he's so keen for us to have our own space!

What to do!! Just any advice would be good please guys. I'm in a mess!

[Annie0904]

It is natural for you to feel like this about leaving your Mum and going to your own place and it is not far away! Your mum is probably secretly looking forward to her own space. Don't worry, she will be fine, us Mum's cope better than you think. You and your hubby need space for yourselves. xx

[Munki]

Oh Annie, you replied the other day too. It's all come crashing down though and I feel terrible. I think I may have developed some major fears of loss. I'm off tot he docs on Friday so I might see if they can refer me for some CBT.
I don't think my Mum will ever love her own space!!!

[Annie0904]

Have you spoken to your Mum about this? I think you should as it may put your mind to rest. You are still close enough to see your Mum every day if you want to. I think some of this is a natural feeling when you leave the home you are used to, to start a new life. My daughter cried when she left for uni but soon became to love her new environment. We are still very close and see each other often. I really missed my kids when they first left but soon got used to it, I am on my own a lot as my hubby works away but sometimes it is nice to have the peace and quiet. I am now wondering how I will cope when they all come home for Christmas!

[Munki]

Yes, we talk very openly. She tells me she's okay about it. She has been through the mill too this year so we've had a lot of tears and deep and meaningfuls. We're very close and talk about everything!

I wonder sometimes if you can love too much?

[Annie0904]

It is nice that you have such a close relationship with your Mum and that will always stay no matter how far apart you are. My daughter went to live in Canada for 1 year and we talked on skype almost every day. x

[Munki]

That's lovely. But this is more than just that Annie. I feel depressed and don't quite know why...
Its my first Christmas married and I hate the effort of it all this year. I want to do nothing and yet we're moving...just want to hibernate :(

[Annie0904]

You need to see your doctor. Are you on any medication at the moment?

[Munki]

Yes, venlafaxine and have been for about 6 years.

[Annie0904]

Maybe it isn't working for you any more or maybe counselling would help? x