ahhhhh!

[Ness]

I feel like an absolute whinger, its just theres nowhere else to turn. I've just rang up the pool i was meant to be volunteering at and told them I couldnt get there 2nite because I was sick, which has made things difficult for next week and which has made me feel absoultely pathetic! I hate myself for this! To top things off i lied to dad and told him that they were the ones that cancelled on me and that makes me feel even worse! Now i just wanna crawl in a hole and die. I can feel a panic attack coming on and I have no way of controlling it, I know its going to happen. Meant to be going out 2nite, but how the hell can i enjoy myself knowing what ive done? Meant to be studying for a swimming instructors exam now but am so depressed and out of it that everytime I go to sit down i just cant concentrate. I thought i was ready for a new direction in life but obviously not. I cant tell anyone either, because it always starts arguments and disappoints everyone. I just hate myself. I need help. Does anyone feel like me? I dont understand!

[juju]

hi
just go with the flow, do what you want to do and stop trying to please everyone else. do things when you want to , go at your own pace, and relax about things, dont worry about what others think of you either.
take care
julie

we are all stronger people after having this

[Piglet]

Try not to be living up to other peoples expectations of you and only concentrate on giving the best you can on any particular day. I read somewhere that our best is an ever changing thing, depending on if we are tired or ill, happy or sad etc etc.

You are doing your best for you as you are at the moment!!!

Have you got anyone around you at home at all that you can talk to??

Love Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Ness]

Thanks so much juju and Piglet

:D

Unfortunately the last couple of days just havent been the best for me, but I totally agree juju, I really do need to stop worrying about pleasing everyone else and start doing what i thinks best for me, and I am going to try to.

I never thought of our best being like that Piglet, but it makes sense, and actually makes me feel a lot better :) Unfortunately trying to talk to anyone in my family just seems to end in a fight, so ive decided to only talk to ppl who i know will be understanding. My boyfriends great for that, and of course so are the ppl here.

Thanks again guys :) xoxoxoxo

[Insomniac]

I think we're even harder on ourselves when we feel we're letting someone else down. But you mustn't do more than you are ready for. Piglet's description of our changing best is great, what we can do on each day varies.

Try not to give yourself a hard time. Glad to hear your boyfriend is supportive. :)

Lisa.