Desperately need to speak to someone.

[coldwater]

Hi

I've had Generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder for years however over the past 5 months or so i've developed OCD and ntrusive thoughts about some terrible things which I just cannot shift. I've become an alcoholic and i know im dying. my routine is i wake up, drink, vomit, drink, vomit blood, drink and drink until i knock myself out. I could cope with it before but since i've developed these intrusive thoughts, (they are typical from what i've seen things like would i harm this person/myself, kill myself, questioning sexuality, intrusive images, persistent questioning about what/who/I am.) my body has started to collapse and i'm sure that i'm dying. ONe of the hardest things is trying to sleep. It is impossible, i dont sleep, i pass out for a few hours and wake up again. I used to be frightened of killing myself but I would honestly welcome it now.

Anybody been this low before and overcome? I 100% cannot see myself getting through this. Im just to much of a coward to kill myself.

[nomorepanic]

Hi dancingwobbler

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Sparkle1984]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad.

Have you spoken to your doctor about how you feel? If not, I strongly recommend you do. :hugs:

[bfff2020]

how does the GAD affect you exactly? the only way mine is under control is through daily CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) - many medications were tried without success

do you have physical symptoms perhaps in the left hand side of your chest/arm?

is there any family/friends you can speak to?

you need to be in regular contact with your doctor/support worker when your condition is this fragile, don't be embarrassed about the drinking just be proactive and talk to the doctor

what exactly are you doing to improve your life? I would make an emergency appointment first thing in the morning and tell them everything be completely honest

you need help but only you can do it, you can feel better if you give yourself a chance

do it