Oddfish
24-12-12, 11:04
For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling awful and I fear another bout of anxiety and depression is upon me.
I suppose there are a few things that have triggered it. For one I had just come back from an amazing holiday to face the dark and snow and the return to work.
Before I went on holiday I had been feeling a bit anxious about impending changes at work. The new plans involve a pay rise for me and I should be thrilled but it also means a huge increase in responsibility and work load. I guess a part of me doesn't want what's on offer. I don't have a contract and currently there is only a place for me until April despite the pay rise and new position. Plans change every 5 minutes, the job is chaotic and exhausting and I am struggling with it. That's before I even take on the new role!
I was already considering leaving before my holiday but I feel trapped. After two long stints of unemployment (accompanied by the worst anxiety and depression I have ever had) I know how difficult it is to get another job and I fear it.
Add to that Christmas which I have never been a fan of and I feel like I am getting close to the edge. I don't even have much to do in the way of preparing for Christmas but for a fortnight I have just felt snappy and miserable and I keep feeling agitated and nervous and have that horrible feeling of just wanting to run away from life.
I feel bad as everyone expects me to be happy but I can't switch my mind off things and its really bringing me down. Big hugs to all who are suffering!
I suppose there are a few things that have triggered it. For one I had just come back from an amazing holiday to face the dark and snow and the return to work.
Before I went on holiday I had been feeling a bit anxious about impending changes at work. The new plans involve a pay rise for me and I should be thrilled but it also means a huge increase in responsibility and work load. I guess a part of me doesn't want what's on offer. I don't have a contract and currently there is only a place for me until April despite the pay rise and new position. Plans change every 5 minutes, the job is chaotic and exhausting and I am struggling with it. That's before I even take on the new role!
I was already considering leaving before my holiday but I feel trapped. After two long stints of unemployment (accompanied by the worst anxiety and depression I have ever had) I know how difficult it is to get another job and I fear it.
Add to that Christmas which I have never been a fan of and I feel like I am getting close to the edge. I don't even have much to do in the way of preparing for Christmas but for a fortnight I have just felt snappy and miserable and I keep feeling agitated and nervous and have that horrible feeling of just wanting to run away from life.
I feel bad as everyone expects me to be happy but I can't switch my mind off things and its really bringing me down. Big hugs to all who are suffering!