Tessar
24-12-12, 20:31
I'm really sorry but I just have to get this out of my system. Maybe best not to read this if you get angry about selfish drunk people being sick or if you are dealing with emetophobia right now.
I was reading a post just now where someone's at home & their brother's brought a friend home because they're having a lads night. This disgusting drunken mate's is now being sick in their only bathroom. Reading this thread was highly triggering for me; its exactly what my brothers used to do when I was little. They invaded our house with horrible drunken people & got hideously drunk themselves. I felt threatened by my brothers at the best of times but if they were drunk it was even worse. I hate drunk people so much as they can be so unpredictable; they act out of character. Also the threat they'll be sick too.
I mean, why is it necessary to behave like this? What possible delight would anyone get out of doing this horrible thing? I just cant see the logic in it. Millions of people around the country now going mad getting horribly drunk & for what? So they feel like death? So they do something repulsive? I dont see the fun in that at all.
Its only now, this year I have finally realised some of the things that fuel my emetophobia. It isnt just the fact that getting sick is unpleasant. Its also to do with what happened when I was growing up. I put up with years of crap from my brothers & then when I was about 13 they started getting drunk alot. I have massive problems being around drunk people. It doesnt mean I've never had a drink but I have never been sick as a result.
The worst thing for me was having no control over it & of course Christmas/New Year were the worst times. Not only were my horribly drunk brothers in our house but also some of their drunken friends too. I was only a little girl & these big boisterous lads scared me. I wish I could have just run away somewhere else, somewhere full of nice people who didnt do disgusting things. But some people are just so inconsiderate. They have no thoughts for other at all. I just cant put into words how it made me feel when I was a kid.
I can remember getting really angry about it & saying something to my mother. She just got angry with me! Like I had done something wrong how exactly????? She was usually in bed when it all happened. I wonder now if she was just hiding & wouldnt come down to sort it out. No wonder I was scared. I really do not miss xmas at home, really I dont. It was such a relief when I didnt have to tolerate it any more after I left. But even now I still feel that Christmas brings along all this threat into my life.
I've been really good lately not getting wound up over the noro virus thing; you wont believe it but as I type this, I hear my partner talking to her sister-in-law. Hmmmn. Turns out that they've had noro in the house. Deep joy. My partner knows about my phobia & has just told me it was a week ago that they had it. She says she wouldnt lie to me. This bl@@dy phobia turns me into someone I dont really like as I do get pretty scared by it. Of course I wasnt too bad til I heard that conversation they just had & despite the reassurance already from my partner (& being told "not to wind myself up about it") of course...... I am now having to implement thought stopping techniques. Of course I now dont feel as well as did before. 30 seconds makes all the difference.
This is why I dont like this time of year. There's always a consequence of going off to see people at Christmas. I think next year I'm going to become a hermit for 2 weeks. At least then I wont have to deal with some of this crap.
So that's it, I think I'm going to shut up now. I do apologise as I have tried to hard only to post positive helpful things on the emetophobia threads but now all I want to do is burst into tears, have a massive rant at my partner & say I'm not going to xmas dinner at my in-laws. I'll probably come back & read this in a week's time & think I was so over-reacting to it all but right now it's feeling pretty full on. OK, time to go as I'm doing myself (& my fellow emetophobes) no favours here am I?
Lastly, here's a helpful thread, read the original post from Iced_Diamond it is very good:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=126709
---------- Post added at 20:31 ---------- Previous post was at 18:27 ----------
i have calmed down now...
I was reading a post just now where someone's at home & their brother's brought a friend home because they're having a lads night. This disgusting drunken mate's is now being sick in their only bathroom. Reading this thread was highly triggering for me; its exactly what my brothers used to do when I was little. They invaded our house with horrible drunken people & got hideously drunk themselves. I felt threatened by my brothers at the best of times but if they were drunk it was even worse. I hate drunk people so much as they can be so unpredictable; they act out of character. Also the threat they'll be sick too.
I mean, why is it necessary to behave like this? What possible delight would anyone get out of doing this horrible thing? I just cant see the logic in it. Millions of people around the country now going mad getting horribly drunk & for what? So they feel like death? So they do something repulsive? I dont see the fun in that at all.
Its only now, this year I have finally realised some of the things that fuel my emetophobia. It isnt just the fact that getting sick is unpleasant. Its also to do with what happened when I was growing up. I put up with years of crap from my brothers & then when I was about 13 they started getting drunk alot. I have massive problems being around drunk people. It doesnt mean I've never had a drink but I have never been sick as a result.
The worst thing for me was having no control over it & of course Christmas/New Year were the worst times. Not only were my horribly drunk brothers in our house but also some of their drunken friends too. I was only a little girl & these big boisterous lads scared me. I wish I could have just run away somewhere else, somewhere full of nice people who didnt do disgusting things. But some people are just so inconsiderate. They have no thoughts for other at all. I just cant put into words how it made me feel when I was a kid.
I can remember getting really angry about it & saying something to my mother. She just got angry with me! Like I had done something wrong how exactly????? She was usually in bed when it all happened. I wonder now if she was just hiding & wouldnt come down to sort it out. No wonder I was scared. I really do not miss xmas at home, really I dont. It was such a relief when I didnt have to tolerate it any more after I left. But even now I still feel that Christmas brings along all this threat into my life.
I've been really good lately not getting wound up over the noro virus thing; you wont believe it but as I type this, I hear my partner talking to her sister-in-law. Hmmmn. Turns out that they've had noro in the house. Deep joy. My partner knows about my phobia & has just told me it was a week ago that they had it. She says she wouldnt lie to me. This bl@@dy phobia turns me into someone I dont really like as I do get pretty scared by it. Of course I wasnt too bad til I heard that conversation they just had & despite the reassurance already from my partner (& being told "not to wind myself up about it") of course...... I am now having to implement thought stopping techniques. Of course I now dont feel as well as did before. 30 seconds makes all the difference.
This is why I dont like this time of year. There's always a consequence of going off to see people at Christmas. I think next year I'm going to become a hermit for 2 weeks. At least then I wont have to deal with some of this crap.
So that's it, I think I'm going to shut up now. I do apologise as I have tried to hard only to post positive helpful things on the emetophobia threads but now all I want to do is burst into tears, have a massive rant at my partner & say I'm not going to xmas dinner at my in-laws. I'll probably come back & read this in a week's time & think I was so over-reacting to it all but right now it's feeling pretty full on. OK, time to go as I'm doing myself (& my fellow emetophobes) no favours here am I?
Lastly, here's a helpful thread, read the original post from Iced_Diamond it is very good:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=126709
---------- Post added at 20:31 ---------- Previous post was at 18:27 ----------
i have calmed down now...