View Full Version : 25th ~ IS EVERY 1 OK?
My parents are Xmas mad and madder. This year at 31, I have finally stopped competing and going out of my way and putting on, the 'plastic smiles'!
Always a nightmare my parents aren't together - very volatile situation!
Plus my husband is Muslim. That aside, we've got kids & we do normally celebrate BUT FOOTS FIRMLY DOWN this year, I've cried too many tears about the sheer stress of xmas, year in year out! Got both parents out the way yesterday and today chilling! Yipee!
So........... today whilst I feel liberated, I know it's hard for a lot of you and some are struggling! My thoughts are with you BUT before you know it,
it will be all back to normal in no time. Good luck and keep your head up:grouphug:
Hope it's going ok x
almamatters
25-12-12, 10:26
Feel bit down have a headache, but otherwise ok. Just told husband going out for a drive on my own, just feel like I need to. Did not go down too well but I am starting to feel a bit breathless and I don't want to spoil the day.
Hope you are ok Col and indeed everyone else :hugs:
Ahh Alma, a drives great if it gives you time to collect your thoughts, go for it! Hope your feeling better & at the end of the day , you sit down and think ~' yes that wasn't soo bad, I've done it, it's done".
Takecare , enjoy:hugs:
almamatters
25-12-12, 10:33
You too , have a good day . xxxxxx
Hey guys,
Personally have only just managed to get out of bed, but at least that's a step forward. Alma, just do whatever you have to do to get through it - it's nearly over thank god!!
I have just come to hide in my room for few minutes with 12 guests downstairs. Trying not to resort to diaxepam!:scared15:
almamatters
25-12-12, 11:45
Had a nice drive out feeling a little better, husband had cleaned up by the time I got back, and has kindly agreed to do the cooking.
Annie and Caramel :hugs: :hugs:
Got up, my daughter is here so its not so bad. feeling paniky now cos we are going to my dads for dinner. Hope everyone has a good a day as possible.
There are so many people downstairs in my house! I feel useless because I can't cope with helping with the dinner. My husband and youngest son are doing it. I just want to cry. My cat is in my bedroom because he is as traumatised as me
Well my daughter is home crying in discomfort and anxious,I feel as down and as as anxious as ever and my wife is having to put on a brave face.
All the rest of the family are abroad and I couldn't be more miserable on this festive day.
No one wants to celebrate in the traditional way and I realise that I am not as strong willed as I thought I was. in fact to be honest i can't cope.
I hope everyone else has a better time than us.
sarahlou1983
25-12-12, 12:25
Am feeling really low today :( Feel absolutly nauseous.Have ran to the toilet a few times because I thought I was going to be ill.Looks like I'll be spending xmas in bed :( all I want to is cry :( .Managed to spend a little time with my dad this morning,and now my sister is here.Feel so hopeless,the only time I don't feel like I'm going to vomit is when I'm lying on my bed absolutly still.Anxiety has been building up these last few days.Not had an anxiety attack like this in a while.I feel like a total faliure :(
Sarahlou, we may feel like failures today but we are not...we are all suffering from anxiety which does not mean we are failures, in fact it means we have been strong for so long. Today is a stressful day for most people and more so if you have anxiety. I think a big group hug is needed :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1: I guess 15 minutes is a long time for me to disappear to get the tablecloths so I had better put on a brave face again. I wish it was boxing day!!!
Ricardo and Annie,
Just know that you are really not alone xxxx You just do whatever you have to do to get through it. Just because it may not be what others do, it doesn't make it wrong. I think the problem is that we have it drilled into us from an early age that you must be happy on Christmas Day, when actually you don't! There are no laws or rules about this. Don't force it and take each second, minute, hour as it comes. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My poor other half had to sleep in the spare room last night because I was in such a state and I didn't manage to come downstairs until about 11 o' clockish. He's been really great about it though because I'm not doing it on purpose and neither are you.
It's just another day.
:hugs:
Hi everyone,it might sound a strange thing to say but merry Christmas everyone. Most years it's a stressful time but this is my first year with anxiety so thank god it's only once a year!
I'm not too bad today though have been a bit panicky this morning when out walking the mutts. Stupid irrational thoughts! I also get a bit anxious having the odd drink as I worry it will raise my blood pressure or something.
It's just me and my wife today so I don't have to put a brave face on, that's tomorrow when we have all the family round for boxing day! Anyway, one day at a time!
Thinking of everyone who is struggling. Just remember,it is only just another day and we will all get through it the way we all get through every other day.
sarahlou1983
25-12-12, 12:45
Insperational words Caramel.Big Hugz to you .And Ricardo and Annie.And anyone else who needs a hug :).Love to You all.Just keep breathing.
Ahhh Ricardo, it will be over soon just stay online, if you feel as if you can't cope. It will pass what are you having for lunch? Hope your daughters ok too :hugs:
---------- Post added at 13:29 ---------- Previous post was at 13:26 ----------
No Sarah Lou, at least from your first post , u have managed to see your dad. Do not feel like a failure. It's not worth it , look at all us on here , we know how tough this time of year can be , for one reason or another. Its prob all the build up to it and everyone and everything else around you. You take it easy, the days going by fast x
Hi all, just got up ... it's about 8:30 AM here in the east coast of the US. Hoping today is a better day than yesterday. Hope everyone can hang in there today. I'll be thinking about everyone here.
Sarahlou, we may feel like failures today but we are not...we are all suffering from anxiety which does not mean we are failures, in fact it means we have been strong for so long. Today is a stressful day for most people and more so if you have anxiety. I think a big group hug is needed :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1: I guess 15 minutes is a long time for me to disappear to get the tablecloths so I had better put on a brave face again. I wish it was boxing day!!!
Annie hope your managing ok & you are enjoying the company, fingers crossed everyone has a great time! You are sooooooo brave having loads of people round , I was like a headless chicken just seeing my parents yesterday.
Lots of love xxxxxxxx
Ps loving the bit - we not failures it means we have been strong for soo long
---------- Post added at 13:34 ---------- Previous post was at 13:32 ----------
Wazza & caramel hope alls going well:grouphug:
Thanks to those who replied.
it's alright to say today will pass as quite frankly it's just another day for me.
How do you deal with three problems at once. Many will say one at a time but in my case they are all linked.
it's too long to go into the history of events but my daughter has been ill for 5 months and despite seeing several doctors and specialists, she is no better. this has an effect of increasing my own anxiety to an unbearable level and my wife remains calm and wants us to return to england.However it's not quite that simple. I only go out when i can and never alone and we can't just uproot after 12 years here.
all this is adding tension between all of us and i am besides myself.
Yes arnie , that's soo true it's just another day. Like caramel said its like drilled into us to be all happy and jollie. Whatever , life's not always like that, not even on Christmas.
Can't believe how brave Annie is having loads of people around??? I'm like you had anxiety 18 months + so thank God Christmas is only once a year because , even though I've put m foot down with my parents , I still don't get away completely scott free, still have to duck and dive a little bit & that's stressful.
Good luck tomorrow but for now enjoy the rest of today as much as you can.:emot-highfive:
---------- Post added at 13:46 ---------- Previous post was at 13:40 ----------
Ahhh so sorry 4 u Ricardo, that is a massive strain, gosh.
Don't really know what to say, I just hope after these couple of days the anxiety levels might get a tiny bit better, but yep get what your saying the stress is there massively anyway. I suppose a move back to England is worth discussing, think about how happy you all are now and if u would feel more rooted back at in UK. I've got kids and I can imagine your daughter going through anxiety is absolutely awful for you because you know exactly what it's like.
Thoughts are with you
AuntieMoosie
25-12-12, 14:23
I woke up feeling really depressed, I hadn't slept last night which hasn't helped at all.
I have a headache starting, one of them pounding ones!!!
I've literally forced myself to get the dinner cooking but I don't even fancy that!!
Roll on when I land back in my bed tonight!!
Keep going everyone, I know it's the pits but we'll all make it somehow.
Ricardo I'm so sorry you're having a real tough time. There must be a whole lot of stress and worry for your family and I can understand how heartbreaking it is to see your poor Daughter suffering like that:weep: I'm thinking of you all and sending you calming hugs :hugs:
Everyone, just do what you want to do today, if you feel you need to take extra medication to help you, then do so, please don't make yourselves suffer, you're much better people than that and you don't deserve to suffer :)
And this is what I truly love about NMP and everyone on here, we're all here, even today supporting, listening, comforting and helping each other :) I'm just so thankful that I found you all, I love you all to bits :) :hugs:
sarahblonde32
25-12-12, 14:29
Hi all....had a bit of a blip this morning which resulted in a gagging fit..but im trying to stay focussed and sip wine. anyone got any tips for coping with the xmas dinner??thats the biggest hurdle for me. Distraction is the technique i use so far..my phone, book, sweets...
Good luck everyone!sarahx
Well dinner is over with...I hardly ate any, too anxious, hiding in my room for a few minutes while everyone thinks I am cleaning the kitchen. Guess I will have to go and sort desserts next :scared15: I wish it was bedtime but 6 of the guests are here until tomorrow!
---------- Post added at 14:45 ---------- Previous post was at 14:44 ----------
aww Auntie Moosie, the last part of your post just made me cry, I don't know what I would do without all my NMP friends.
AuntieMoosie
25-12-12, 15:05
Annie you're doing great hun :D
You've got through the dinner which I know you were dreading :yesyes:
Just keep having a break hun, try not to let it all get on top of you.
I'm going to be having my dinner in a minute, don't fancy a lot though, this headache is making me feel yuk!!!!!
:hugs: :hugs:
Love to everyone. I am copeing today so far as there is only the two of us,
we have had chips for our lunch.
Tomorrow is the day of panic.. I think i maybe ok, fingers crossed!!!!!
Annie , stay where you are for a while and try to relax:hugs:
Col
as I said it is all rather complicated.my daughter is 24 has a degree in business studies with a foreign language(Spanish) and can't find work either here or in london. i don't want to go back,in fact the reason we came here was to get a better quality of life,less hassle and of course the weather.
I have no real friends,a few acquantances.my son hopefully is settled and if he gets married he will be happy. his girlfriend is from ireland where he is at the moment. I love him to bits,but why should he be here in all the doom and gloom.
The mental health service over here isn't in abundence and everything costs a fortune,in fact all private health is very expensive.and that includes any mental issues.
It's strange, I built up a very successful business from nothing having been brought uo in a council house leaving school at 16, and then because of various episodes in my life in quick succession my life changed dramatically.
I want for nothing just be able to do every day things without even thinking but i see strains of my anxiety now in my daughter and in a way I feel resposible having passed this on through my geens.
Thank you for your kind words Auntie Moosie xx
sarahlou1983
25-12-12, 15:37
Aunt Moosie ,I feel exactly the same,helping you guys with me today,has been an absolutle blessing,and I thank god with all my heart,that I have found you all.You are my family,and I would be lost without you.You're the only ones who truly understand what hell this is .:hugs:
almamatters
25-12-12, 15:43
How is everyone? Dinner still not cooked , had a bit of domestic with husband about how to do it LOL. No offence to my guests but I am beginning to wish they would go (does that sound terrible) I feel stressed and irritated and want to lie down on the settee, obviously can't at the moment.
I've just popped on to say hello, I feel for all you guys. I didn't feel too bad and got up and showered but when walking the dog started to feel nauseas and panicky. Have cooked lunch and ate a little but have told my family I just need 10 minutes lie down before I can face going to my mums, with a visit to sister in laws on the way. They'll only be the 10 of us at my mums but I feel I have to make an effort and talk and act normal when all I want to do is lie down and ignore everyone - I find it all so tiring.
I haven't seen my sister in law for ever and will have to make an even bigger effort there to be sociable, I imagine they think I'm rude when I stare in to space and look so bloomin miserable
Anyway, here's to all of us feeling crap today
Next year we won't believe how awful today was and how we survived
But we will and can be proud of that
Love Sam
AuntieMoosie
25-12-12, 16:09
Hello my friends :)
Well I've had my dinner now, didn't enjoy it, but it's done and dusted.
I'm going to go have a nice lay down in my bed listening to my music now......I need a bit of comfort and my bed is it!!:)
Loving thoughts to all, I think we're doing so damn good to be honest, to me finding this place is a God send, I know people try, but I think you have to have experienced depression anxiety/panic to truly know the hell it can cause.
Special thoughts, love and gentle hugs going out to Diane, Dale and Ricardo :hugs: :hugs:
My cold has really come out today so I feel pretty grim, and did take a Diazepam first thing (as well as some cold care & herbal medicine - I'm a walking pharmacy!), but I did manage to eat half of my Christmas dinner & have just had a game of Cluedo with the family.My mum said I can go home as soon as I'm ready as she knows I'm finding it harder than usual, with the cold & everything.
I wore my party hat for Ddcoo :) and have had some lovely gifts, including a microscope for using in my conservation work, some dvds, silver jewellery & a cosy hat for working down the allotment in.
xBettyBoopx
25-12-12, 18:14
I am not feeling too well, have a cold and cough. I'm also on my own! Went to the cemetry to put flowers on mum and dads grave:weep: hate Christmas!!
aww Auntie Moosie, the last part of your post just made me cry, I don't know what I would do without all my NMP friends.
yes , Annie I agree really touched ~ Auntie Moosie, wish you were my real aunt:bighug1:
---------- Post added at 19:38 ---------- Previous post was at 19:31 ----------
How is everyone? Dinner still not cooked , had a bit of domestic with husband about how to do it LOL. No offence to my guests but I am beginning to wish they would go (does that sound terrible) I feel stressed and irritated and want to lie down on the settee, obviously can't at the moment.
Evening alma , hope you managed to get through dinner x
Hopefully it's more or less over and done with for you & u can sit down to watch East Enders (if u like it).:emot-wanttohug:
Ps , no that didn't sound awful wanting the guests to go, if they knew how bad anxiety or panic disorder was , I'm sure theyd feel the same x
---------- Post added at 19:40 ---------- Previous post was at 19:38 ----------
I am not feeling too well, have a cold and cough. I'm also on my own! Went to the cemetry to put flowers on mum and dads grave:weep: hate Christmas!!
Ahh bless, hope tomorrows a brighter day:flowers:
---------- Post added at 19:41 ---------- Previous post was at 19:40 ----------
My cold has really come out today so I feel pretty grim, and did take a Diazepam first thing (as well as some cold care & herbal medicine - I'm a walking pharmacy!), but I did manage to eat half of my Christmas dinner & have just had a game of Cluedo with the family.My mum said I can go home as soon as I'm ready as she knows I'm finding it harder than usual, with the cold & everything.
I wore my party hat for Ddcoo :) and have had some lovely gifts, including a microscope for using in my conservation work, some dvds, silver jewellery & a cosy hat for working down the allotment in.
Ahhh a microscope , I would love one of those. What conservation work do you do?
Im Jealous x
survived... phew. Gonna watch Jurrasic Park for the nth time and chill. maybe play with new toy helicopter. (I'm 50 going on 5!!)
survived... phew. Gonna watch Jurrasic Park for the nth time and chill. maybe play with new toy helicopter. (I'm 50 going on 5!!)
:yahoo: hurrayyyyy
Yep chill , Jurassic parks great to wind down to. I'm sat chilling watching lord of the rings! Absolutely love it!
almamatters
25-12-12, 19:54
Thanks Col , dinner went well, glad it's finished , guests (lovely as they were) have left, I feel relaxed now for the first time in ages, going to watch Eastenders, my sister unfortunately knows the storyline and decided to let me know what happens :doh: Hope you had a lovely day Col and all my other pals on NMP. xxxxxxxx
Ahhh pleased it all went well alma, yes I've had a lovely day with my little kids,thanks, no visitors today for the first time ever!!!!!!
That's why I threaded I thought I could help others get things off their chests as the day went on.
Enjoy East Enders, looking forward to it, hubby said Derek dies?
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
almamatters
25-12-12, 19:59
It's true apparently, Derek dies. Not sure if you were a fan or not but thought he brought something to the programme . :)
Yes , he's a big meanie but, yes your right it was good to see a different villainous character other than Phil Mitchell.
Hmmm can't wait x
survived... phew. Gonna watch Jurrasic Park for the nth time and chill. maybe play with new toy helicopter. (I'm 50 going on 5!!)
My dad got a helicopter and he is 82!
I have survived the day! I only have 2 guests left, my son and his wife so I can cope with them. The other 4 I thought were staying decided to head off up to Edinburgh. I feel exhausted and getting a headache but I survived!
Well done! hope your dads better at it than me. Dog has a new hairdo....:D
Well done! hope your dads better at it than me. Dog has a new hairdo....:D
:roflmao:
I'm back home now, after managing to stay out at my parents' house all day, and about to change into my new snuggly pyjamas and watch the Downton Christmas special :) I've taken another Diazepam just now, and only managed to eat half of my Christmas dinner all day, but I'm going to try not to focus on those parts, and instead congratulate myself for making it through when yesterday I seriously doubted I would.
Col - I qualified as a historic objects conservator in January of this year, and would like to specialise in textiles - perhaps with my own practice - so the microscope is my first real piece of apparatus towards that :D We've been looking at parts of locusts, lymph node cells and my hair through it this evening, lol.
I am up in my bedroom also waiting for the Downton Christmas special. I wanted to watch Call the midwife but will watch it tomorrow. Chai (cat) is hiding in my room with me, I think he is also suffering from anxiety after all the guests!!
I thought I was doing all right until about an hour ago, when out of the blue I had a terrible rush of anxiety and panic, and severe stomach cramps (which made me very anxious as I am emetophobic). Since then I've felt terrible, tearful, frightened, and very depressed - I have a dark feeling at my heart. I just need this week to be over and for normal life to start again.
I find Xmas so hard, for a whole range of reasons - the loss of routine, the loss of privacy, the forced jollity, having to eat in front of people, having to socialise, and also painful memories - I have had several bad breakdowns at Christmas, the first when I was just fourteen. For me it's not just the day itself that's hard - I struggle with the week between Xmas and New Year, when everyone just hangs around and arguments develop. I feel desperate for normality; even though that's often difficult, at least I have the comfort of my routine in place.I am feeling seriously bad tonight and frightened about coping over the next week. xx
I thought I was doing all right until about an hour ago, when out of the blue I had a terrible rush of anxiety and panic, and severe stomach cramps (which made me very anxious as I am emetophobic). Since then I've felt terrible, tearful, frightened, and very depressed - I have a dark feeling at my heart. I just need this week to be over and for normal life to start again. xx
You have done really well all day so you are probably just exhausted now. Take some time out to relax with some soothing music :hugs:
You're not alone Zingara - I've just sat down in front of the TV & feel more edgy now than I have all day. I'm putting it down to a change in the routine of the day (I'd just got myself comfortable at my parents' and now I have to re-comfort myself back home), and also that it's the end of the day (and a day where I've felt tense to boot), so my nerves are all worn out.
Thank you both very much for replying - it helps so much to be able to express it, especially because at this time of year, more than ever, you feel that pressure to keep your anguish to yourself for fear of being accused of being a 'misery'. I think you are right, Annie, that I'm actually just very tired, and also I'm used to having some time alone to recharge my batteries each day, so having gone without that won't be helping. Elle-Kay, I'm sorry that you too are feeling anxious - sometimes it seems that you get a 'hit' of anxiety just at the point in the day when you feel you can relax a bit. I know just what you mean about re-comforting yourself - I divide my time between my parents' house and my boyfriend's, and I also have to go through that 're-comforting' stage, and reacclimatize myself. It isn't easy, especially at this time of year when everything feels abnormal. I'm sleeping at my parents' tonight, and although in a way that's comforting, in another way it's stressful because I don't get on so well with the bed and tend not to sleep well here. Also my parents are very controlling about any noise after they've gone to bed, so if I need to get out of bed and go to the loo, or downstairs for a drink, I'll usually hear a groan or a 'be quiet!', which doesn't exactly help. It doesn't help me to feel relaxed. I do have a tiny amount of diazepam that I have saved up for Xmas, and I think I'll take it at bedtime. Thanks again, and I hope you feel better and have a good night. xx
P.S. Elle-Kay, I just had a quick look at your blog. It's very good, and there's so much there that I can relate to.
Like most days I am alone so today was nothing out of the ordinary, took the opportunity to clean the car then do some long overdue hoovering, housework then relaxed with a hot bath, so all in all today was more productive than most, I have not heard from a soul or spoken to anyone but in 2 hours 15 minutes I will have gotten through it again for another year so look upon today as a major success!
AuntieMoosie
25-12-12, 22:03
I think we've all done brilliantly.......so here's to all of us :yesyes:
Col thank you hun....now listen....I am your real Auntie......I'm your real NMP Auntie complete with hooves and a swishy tail :roflmao:
I just have to say that I'm so proud of you all and what you've achieved today, I know it's been a huge challenge for so many of us.
The best Christmas present that I've had this year is learning what very special friends that I have on here, and that means more to me than anything :)
Thank you all for helping through the day as I hope I've helped you too :)
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Auntie Moosie you are going to make me cry again :D It has been so nice to get through today together and with everyone's support xx
Auntie moosie, Thankyou ever so much. Your right! There are some great friends on here, have a good night :grouphug:
Well Julian Fellowes has just totally ruined my Christmas!! (fellow Downton fans will know what I mean)
Like most days I am alone so today was nothing out of the ordinary, took the opportunity to clean the car then do some long overdue hoovering, housework then relaxed with a hot bath, so all in all today was more productive than most, I have not heard from a soul or spoken to anyone but in 2 hours 15 minutes I will have gotten through it again for another year so look upon today as a major success!
:yahoo: nealy over x sweet dreams
sarahblonde32
25-12-12, 22:56
I survived!! actually feel nice and relaxed at the moment. until the vicous circle begins again tomorrow. ;(
hope you all got through it!
sarah
Hi, Just watched Downton, Poor matthew! Goodnight
Hi, Just watched Downton, Poor matthew! Goodnight
Oh I know..I wanted a happy ending on Christmas day!
Oh I know..I wanted a happy ending on Christmas day!
Me too! I knew Dan Stevens wasn't returning for series 4 (except for in the first episode), but I did think that they could have waited until that first episode to kill off Matthew, and end tonight's episode after the birth of the baby.
Oh no!!! Wish I hadn't read this thread! They haven't aired downton in the USA yet, the season will start in January!
My family (and their dogs) are staying until the THIRD of January :( Help x
t0rt01se36
26-12-12, 10:26
I did myself proud yesterday. :)Woke up on Christmas Day and felt lonely, but I pulled myself together, gave myself a little telling off and decided to destress, by wrapping some Christmas presents and opening the few I'd received.
By the time it got to nearly 10am, I panicked and got stressed out, when I realised that time was running out, for me to get things done and be ready for a lift to my Sisterd house, at lunchtime.
I suffer from general and social anxiety and was dreading meeting guests and eating with them, at my Sisters house, who are my sister's boyfriends family. I get very, very anxious, eating with more than immediate family.
When I arrived at my Sisters house, I was glad to not have to sit up straight away. We opened some presents and talked. Didn't help me though, sat in the Conservatory, feeling cold, cos I'd taken my boots off.:mad:
I took time out, to be alone before dinner and sat alone, with the dog, in the lounge.
It didn't take me long to realise that there ws nothing to worry about, with regards to talking to the guests, as they seemed nice and talkative.
Meal time and I felt SO anxious and panicky, while I sat at the table. I just sat there at one point, head down and feeling shivery and tense. I cut up my food into little bits and ate quite alot of food. I highly recommend Bread Sauce! I was addicted, straight away :yahoo::yesyes:. I ate sausage, carrots, stuffing, bread sauce and roast potatoes and calmed down, after a while. I felt less panicky. One of the guests had a bad cough and coughed alot, whilst I was there and that definitely made me anxious.
I decided to have a frozen yoghurt, which was lovely, instead of Christmas pudding.
I felt full and claustrophobic, so took the dog for a walk, which I really enjoyed. Strange when there weren't many people or traffic about and when the shop was closed.
We opened more presents in the afternoon/evening and I received a duvet, duvet cover, air hockey table,bath smellies and a book.
I felt hungry before everyone else and asked for a packet of crisps.
Can't believe I ate Pepper Crisps. :doh: Had my anxious/panicky moments, but over all, i did reallly well.
Oh no!!! Wish I hadn't read this thread! They haven't aired downton in the USA yet, the season will start in January!
Oops, sorry!
Well done Ju, It sounds like you had a good day all in all, I love bread sauce too but forgot to get any this year. Hope you have a good St Stephens day too
Well done again
Sam
I did myself proud yesterday. :)Woke up on Christmas Day and felt lonely, but I pulled myself together, gave myself a little telling off and decided to destress, by wrapping some Christmas presents and opening the few I'd received.
By the time it got to nearly 10am, I panicked and got stressed out, when I realised that time was running out, for me to get things done and be ready for a lift to my Sisterd house, at lunchtime.
I suffer from general and social anxiety and was dreading meeting guests and eating with them, at my Sisters house, who are my sister's boyfriends family. I get very, very anxious, eating with more than immediate family.
When I arrived at my Sisters house, I was glad to not have to sit up straight away. We opened some presents and talked. Didn't help me though, sat in the Conservatory, feeling cold, cos I'd taken my boots off.:mad:
I took time out, to be alone before dinner and sat alone, with the dog, in the lounge.
It didn't take me long to realise that there ws nothing to worry about, with regards to talking to the guests, as they seemed nice and talkative.
Meal time and I felt SO anxious and panicky, while I sat at the table. I just sat there at one point, head down and feeling shivery and tense. I cut up my food into little bits and ate quite alot of food. I highly recommend Bread Sauce! I was addicted, straight away :yahoo::yesyes:. I ate sausage, carrots, stuffing, bread sauce and roast potatoes and calmed down, after a while. I felt less panicky. One of the guests had a bad cough and coughed alot, whilst I was there and that definitely made me anxious.
I decided to have a frozen yoghurt, which was lovely, instead of Christmas pudding.
I felt full and claustrophobic, so took the dog for a walk, which I really enjoyed. Strange when there weren't many people or traffic about and when the shop was closed.
We opened more presents in the afternoon/evening and I received a duvet, duvet cover, air hockey table,bath smellies and a book.
I felt hungry before everyone else and asked for a packet of crisps.
Can't believe I ate Pepper Crisps. :doh: Had my anxious/panicky moments, but over all, i did reallly well.
You did so well & it's done :yahoo: enjoy the rest of your time x
Ps I'm not sure if I've had bread sauce, sounds lovely
I have had a terrible headache all through the night and still there now. I also have a slightly nervous stomach today. I guess I am paying for the after effects of coping quite well yesterday. :shrug:
Well done Ju
I know how apprehensive you were feeling xx
I have had a terrible headache all through the night and still there now. I also have a slightly nervous stomach today. I guess I am paying for the after effects of coping quite well yesterday. :shrug:
Hey Annie,
I'm the same, headache all yesterday and feel awful this morning. Think it's the anxiety combined with not eating a lot. Tends to take me a while to get over anything as stressful as Christmas :blush: Guests have just left so hoping to get some time to chill out now.
Congrats to everyone for getting through yesterday and good luck to anyone who's going through it all again today :hugs:
Hey Annie,
I'm the same, headache all yesterday and feel awful this morning. Think it's the anxiety combined with not eating a lot. Tends to take me a while to get over anything as stressful as Christmas :blush: Guests have just left so hoping to get some time to chill out now.
Congrats to everyone for getting through yesterday and good luck to anyone who's going through it all again today :hugs:
I seem to find that if I manage to 'cope' one day, the next day I am so exhausted and need to rest more. The last of our guests are about to leave so time for me to 'chill'!
I think we've all done brilliantly.......so here's to all of us
Col thank you hun....now listen....I am your real Auntie......I'm your real NMP Auntie complete with hooves and a swishy tail
I just have to say that I'm so proud of you all and what you've achieved today, I know it's been a huge challenge for so many of us.
The best Christmas present that I've had this year is learning what very special friends that I have on here, and that means more to me than anything
Thank you all for helping through the day as I hope I've helped you too
AuntieMoosie - I was wondering what to say & feel I couldnt have put this better myself.....
Col - look at all these wonderful posts - great thread! Amazing what a difference it can make if you take some control back. Really pleased you feel liberated, well done.
My parents are the complete opposite to yours, dull. I havent been to theirs for Xmas in years. I cant cope with their silence or the guilt they create in me. I went to my partners family yesterday - no plastic smiles there as they're very kind to me & I'm able to make them laugh. I used to be really, really nervous of them all (big family, lots of strong opinions & personalities) but I've got to know them over the years. My partner's niece/nephews love seeing us & that includes me. Apparnetly I'm like a big kid to them. Pretty cool for a 49 year old.... plus its brill to know they like us going. OK, i was apprehensive about a 4 hour round trip inthe car & I had issues to deal with but i coped. I was glad when it was all over.
Should have been at my brothers locally today but he & my niece have proper flu. So we're not going. Have been into town shpping today. My partner made me go out or i'd have probably gone crazy indoors all day. Plus we didnt sleep at all well as our neighbours cat kept creeping into our house. Blasted thing. It was really winding us up.
Anyway, I'm So glad to see others coping here also in their own way. And finally col, you are so right that "it will be all back to normal in no time"
Well for me, yesterday was down down down.Then a slight up at night...Woke up feeling 60% me then Round to Inlaws for the day and night and feel 20% me..I keep getting derealization feelings , which im finding the hardest to cope with....Just keeps creeping up on me its horid....knocks me right back..
AuntieMoosie
26-12-12, 16:53
Great going all :) I'm proud of all of us :yesyes:
I got that flaming banging headache again last night!!!
Today I had a long lay in, had a lovely shower with my lovely smelly's, put some washing on and now I'm sitting here with zig zags in my left eye, don't worry, I'm used to them,......but I'm trying to reply to posts on here and I can barely see what I'm doing!! so excuse any mistakes :wacko:
It's jigsaw puzzle night in my house, so we're doing that and I keep popping on here to see how you all are :) :hugs:
hi well done to everyone on here for getting through xmas one way or another.
Wishing everyone a better 2013!
Some of us may not think but I think we have all done really well. I can't actually believe that I survived yesterday with 14 guests! Had a relaxing afternoon and feeling a bit 'edgy' but we have a family funeral to go to tomorrow and that is on my mind. I hope I can manage to get there but know that my family will understand if I can't. (my step daughters, mother in law). Very sad that it happened just before Christmas and they had to wait until after for the funeral.
i only stayed at home with the usual 4 us but was still hard.
Well for me, yesterday was down down down.Then a slight up at night...Woke up feeling 60% me then Round to Inlaws for the day and night and feel 20% me..I keep getting derealization feelings , which im finding the hardest to cope with....Just keeps creeping up on me its horid....knocks me right back..
Soo sad you feel like this. My thoughts are with you xxx
---------- Post added at 18:10 ---------- Previous post was at 18:07 ----------
Tessar , THANKYOU:bighug1::bighug1: for your post.
Your parents do sound like the opposite of mine but like mine on a scale of 1-10 would proberbly be a 10 ( if u don't mind me saying that ), in terms of how severe their personalities are. Mine are sooooo controlling.
So glad you had a good day and got through it in one piece xcx
I wish I could be upbeat about today let alone yesterday. Too many things going on at once and I can't deal with it.
Hi Ricardo is your daughter feeling ok
Not really,just glad she is back home, thanks for asking
I've just found out that my parents in law won't be visiting tomorrow as planned because my father in law is ill with a cold so can't travel. They're going to come in a couple of week's instead. It's a shame, and I'm sorry he's ill but I'm also a bit relieved as it gives me a bit more time to prepare myself, mentally. Does thinking that way make me a bad person...?
I've just found out that my parents in law won't be visiting tomorrow as planned because my father in law is ill with a cold so can't travel. They're going to come in a couple of week's instead. It's a shame, and I'm s.rry he's ill but I'm also a bit relieved as it gives me a bit more time to prepare myself, mentally. Does thinking that way make me a bad person...?
It certainly does not make you a bad person Leah. I have to admit that I am relieved that my guests have left and I feel so exhausted after the last few days. My youngest son and his girlfriend are here but I feel more relaxed with them and they are both very helpful and caring.
So how is everyone doing now?
Just found we have some unexpected guests coming over the next couple of days so am a bit....weary I guess lol. Feel the same as you Elle-Kay, end up feeling guilty about not wanting people to come and then having a panic attack cos I'm a terrible person and assume something bad will happen as a result.
Just to clarify, Elle-Kay I absolutely do not think you are a bad person for being relieved that your guests have postponed! Can completely understand your feelings about it and it's a nice thing that you want to have a bit more time to prepare yourself mentally so you can cope with it better. Hope it all goes well when they do visit
AuntieMoosie
26-12-12, 20:32
Elle no it doesn't make you a bad person hun :)
I would feel the same, it will give you more time to prepare for it which is a positive thing :)
So how is everyone doing now?
Just found we have some unexpected guests coming over the next couple of days so am a bit....weary I guess lol. Feel the same as you Elle-Kay, end up feeling guilty about not wanting people to come and then having a panic attack cos I'm a terrible person and assume something bad will happen as a result.
Just to clarify, Elle-Kay I absolutely do not think you are a bad person for being relieved that your guests have postponed! Can completely understand your feelings about it and it's a nice thing that you want to have a bit more time to prepare yourself mentally so you can cope with it better. Hope it all goes well when they do visit
nobody would be a bad person for not wanting guests to come round.
my brother had to cancel us going to see him & his kids yesterday coz they have real flu (not just man-flu).
i was relieved but that doesnt make me a bad person just the same as it doesnt make anyone else here bad either!!!
i've gone back to work today & you know what.... I'VE ENJOYED IT! peaceful here tho i've been bizi its been a great day.
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