Twizlerz
25-12-12, 22:26
First time poster here and first of all I just would like to say how thankful I am that I found this website. I have read some of the info on panic attacks and anxiety and decided to register.
Anyway here's my problem;
Now I am not exactly sure what kind of attacks these are but they have happened before in the past and lately I've been experiencing quite a bit and I end up in this state of panic, extreme paranoia and anxiety, as if I feel trapped, like a mouse backed up to a corner.
I'll bring up a recent episode that happened to me last night
So I was in church with the family attending the midnight Christmas mass. While sitting down waiting for the ceremony to start I started playing bejeweled blitz on my phone when suddenly this huge wave of "panic" just over comes me. I start getting the feeling as if my brain is slowly sinking and plunging into darkness, everything just feels like it's going backwards and I get this huge sensation as if I am dying, like literally, in the middle of my chest I feel as if something is sucking my soul out. My heart starts racing, I loose feeling in my legs and arms, I can still control them but not 100% and they start feeling as if I am encased in jelly. My breathing becomes rapid and get a huge sensation of paranoia and ask myself silly questions like "Why am I breathing? What is air? I am just bubble of particle gas encased inside this shell, Oh my god I need to get out of here, I am going insane, oh my god what is happening? What is this? Where am I? I need to get out, I need to get out!!"
Like a thousand lost voices just screaming inside my head. My vision gets somewhat blurry and I feel like my eyes are about to pop out. I get extreme paranoia that I can't see my face, as if I am the screen of a television just reflecting everything that's happening around me and then I start questioning reality... and sound, and how my ears are just these satellite dishes receiving sound and then I start questioning sound, like what is sound, what is it made out of?
and it just keeps getting worse and worse and while all this is happening and freaking out that I am alive my brain feels more small and that soul sucking sensation just gets stronger and stronger and then I don't start feeling my butt sitting down anymore and I panic a lot more, my body starts feeling really tired as if I am about to pass out/die any second.
Remember this is all going in my head, to some other stranger looking at me I look like some one who's just figidy and uncomfortable in their seat.
I casually just tell my sister that I need to go home, and she asks why and I tell her that I am having an episode of a panic attack. she then asks me what I am feeling and I start describing some of them from the top of my head in the most simplistic way possible cause I was really in a hurry to get out. She told me that it's most likely my blood pressure being low and that I should go home.
So I went home and took some Stimol and tried to go to sleep. While trying to sleep I felt as if my body was falling asleep but my brain is still active and I get these vivid projections/flashes of white light. I start to feel my body slowly slipping into sleep mode but yet I am still awake.
I keep startling myself to wake up and try to shake of the feeling and try to drift to sleep. After what felt like 10mins I finally fell asleep. No weird dreams occurred or anything.
something minor happened to me this evening as well. My dad was watching Pearl Harbor on TV so I sat down and watched it with him and for the first 10mins of the movie I was fine but then suddenly I got these feelings again. I started to freak out about reality and started to get the jelly feeling in my legs and arms, my heart started to race.
I rushed out of there and took some Stimol
When I woke up this morning I took some black coffee and some stimol as well, mum said it would help with the blood pressure. I had a good christmas meal (Turkey, bacon, gravey, potatoes, carrots, peas, prawns, sweetcorn, onions, lettuce..etc) and was really stuffed so I really don't think it's my blood pressure.
Please can some one please help me? :weep: It's been haunting me for months and I am really starting to think I am going insane. I don't want to go insane, I want to have a future, I want to have a daughter I always dreamed to have. What can I do? What's happening to me?
I am known to be prone to mild depressions but thoughts of suicide never occurred to me this much. I really feel trapped and helpless and like the only answer is to just get it over and done with and just end it.
I hate this feeling, I hate living like this. I can't do anything or enjoy anything anymore. What kind of woman would date some one this problematic? :weep:
Am I going insane? Seriously be honest with me, am I really just slowly slipping into insanity? should I admit myself to an asylum? I've been thinking of doing that.
Edit: I would also like to point out that during these supposed attacks I get very light headed, sort of high but not in a good way. The feeling is also similar to the effects of LSD, I don't know if you guys have taken it before but it's very similar to the "transitioning" past of the drug, where you're being assured to the other side. Also during my attacks I get very dizzy, and I almost threw up yesterday on my way home from church.
Anyway here's my problem;
Now I am not exactly sure what kind of attacks these are but they have happened before in the past and lately I've been experiencing quite a bit and I end up in this state of panic, extreme paranoia and anxiety, as if I feel trapped, like a mouse backed up to a corner.
I'll bring up a recent episode that happened to me last night
So I was in church with the family attending the midnight Christmas mass. While sitting down waiting for the ceremony to start I started playing bejeweled blitz on my phone when suddenly this huge wave of "panic" just over comes me. I start getting the feeling as if my brain is slowly sinking and plunging into darkness, everything just feels like it's going backwards and I get this huge sensation as if I am dying, like literally, in the middle of my chest I feel as if something is sucking my soul out. My heart starts racing, I loose feeling in my legs and arms, I can still control them but not 100% and they start feeling as if I am encased in jelly. My breathing becomes rapid and get a huge sensation of paranoia and ask myself silly questions like "Why am I breathing? What is air? I am just bubble of particle gas encased inside this shell, Oh my god I need to get out of here, I am going insane, oh my god what is happening? What is this? Where am I? I need to get out, I need to get out!!"
Like a thousand lost voices just screaming inside my head. My vision gets somewhat blurry and I feel like my eyes are about to pop out. I get extreme paranoia that I can't see my face, as if I am the screen of a television just reflecting everything that's happening around me and then I start questioning reality... and sound, and how my ears are just these satellite dishes receiving sound and then I start questioning sound, like what is sound, what is it made out of?
and it just keeps getting worse and worse and while all this is happening and freaking out that I am alive my brain feels more small and that soul sucking sensation just gets stronger and stronger and then I don't start feeling my butt sitting down anymore and I panic a lot more, my body starts feeling really tired as if I am about to pass out/die any second.
Remember this is all going in my head, to some other stranger looking at me I look like some one who's just figidy and uncomfortable in their seat.
I casually just tell my sister that I need to go home, and she asks why and I tell her that I am having an episode of a panic attack. she then asks me what I am feeling and I start describing some of them from the top of my head in the most simplistic way possible cause I was really in a hurry to get out. She told me that it's most likely my blood pressure being low and that I should go home.
So I went home and took some Stimol and tried to go to sleep. While trying to sleep I felt as if my body was falling asleep but my brain is still active and I get these vivid projections/flashes of white light. I start to feel my body slowly slipping into sleep mode but yet I am still awake.
I keep startling myself to wake up and try to shake of the feeling and try to drift to sleep. After what felt like 10mins I finally fell asleep. No weird dreams occurred or anything.
something minor happened to me this evening as well. My dad was watching Pearl Harbor on TV so I sat down and watched it with him and for the first 10mins of the movie I was fine but then suddenly I got these feelings again. I started to freak out about reality and started to get the jelly feeling in my legs and arms, my heart started to race.
I rushed out of there and took some Stimol
When I woke up this morning I took some black coffee and some stimol as well, mum said it would help with the blood pressure. I had a good christmas meal (Turkey, bacon, gravey, potatoes, carrots, peas, prawns, sweetcorn, onions, lettuce..etc) and was really stuffed so I really don't think it's my blood pressure.
Please can some one please help me? :weep: It's been haunting me for months and I am really starting to think I am going insane. I don't want to go insane, I want to have a future, I want to have a daughter I always dreamed to have. What can I do? What's happening to me?
I am known to be prone to mild depressions but thoughts of suicide never occurred to me this much. I really feel trapped and helpless and like the only answer is to just get it over and done with and just end it.
I hate this feeling, I hate living like this. I can't do anything or enjoy anything anymore. What kind of woman would date some one this problematic? :weep:
Am I going insane? Seriously be honest with me, am I really just slowly slipping into insanity? should I admit myself to an asylum? I've been thinking of doing that.
Edit: I would also like to point out that during these supposed attacks I get very light headed, sort of high but not in a good way. The feeling is also similar to the effects of LSD, I don't know if you guys have taken it before but it's very similar to the "transitioning" past of the drug, where you're being assured to the other side. Also during my attacks I get very dizzy, and I almost threw up yesterday on my way home from church.