Health anxiety so bad I feel like I want to die :(

[PinkRoxy]

I havent had a good Christmas this year :(

I developed my monthly bladder pain last Saturday and decided to go to the doctor on Monday to get some antibiotics. I have been getting it every month and the dipstick test shows white blood cells, lots of traces of blood and proteins and leukocytes.

Apparently when it has been sent off to the lab my it shows no growth of bacteria. I still respond to the antibiotics.

I have to come in to see my doctor and go for further investigations.

I have been feeling really anxious and depressed I want to cry all the time, nothing seems to cheer me up and I feel like I would rather be dead.

I have an appointment on the 11ths of January with my doctor but I don't think I can wait that long Im so scared but she is the only doctor I trust.

I havent eaten for a few days I feel sick and want to vomit when I try to and havent been able to sleep. I keep thinking about it my bladder and going over it in my head and I cant stop. I try and distract myself but its really hard because I go back to thinking about it.

Im sorry this is a real downer but I just need some support and encouragement at the moment as I am having a rough time :(

---------- Post added at 19:49 ---------- Previous post was at 19:47 ----------

I forgot to say the first three showed infections then after that it didn't just bad inflammation :(

---------- Post added at 21:03 ---------- Previous post was at 19:49 ----------

Still no one wants to talk to me Ive been waiting for a reply as I feel at my worst :(

[SamanthaAU]

Hi honey - I think it's a bit slow around here because it's Christmas. Plus I think these Britts may still be snoozing :)

I know what it feels like to feel like you may as well be dead. Things will get better though, when you see your doctor in January Will she be doing the further investigations? How long have you been having these infections for? Have they tried different antibiotics?


Big hugs my darling, I will pop in and out in case you need to chat xxx

[PinkRoxy]

Hi thanks for your reply.

I have only been taking the antibiotic trimethoprim. It does work every time as my bladder goes back to normal but seems to come back the next month the pain and inflammation and lots of blood. It usually happens when around the PMT time of the month when I feel more stressed and get upset easily that is what I have noticed. Ive had them since May and all the dipsticks show stuff of an infection but the lab found infection in only the first few samples Ive done and then it started to show no infection.

I understand its so slow right now on here Im just doing my head in with this as Im wondering what could be wrong and going over and over it in my head.

[Justinf]

Hi fellow Aussie!:)
if the first few tests showed infections then the next one showed inflammation, I wouldn't worry about that at all. Bladder infections are notoriously hard to beat and can linger even when there's no official sign of infection.
We have all probably been down the path of 'I would rather be dead' but because we worry about ourselves, it shows that in fact the opposite is true.
Please try to calm down. You have nothing to worry about on this. :hugs:

[PinkRoxy]

Thanks Justin

Ive had nine all together so three showed infection so I had six that have showed only inflammation its driving me insane as it keeps happening. Most of them are nasty too the pain so bad and lots of blood when I wipe and in the container when I take the sample.

Thanks for your reassurance I will discuss that with my doctor and I hope she can reassure me too and help me find a solution.

[Justinf]

Thanks Justin

Ive had nine all together so three showed infection so I had six that have showed only inflammation its driving me insane as it keeps happening. Most of them are nasty too the pain so bad and lots of blood when I wipe and in the container when I take the sample.

Thanks for your reassurance I will discuss that with my doctor and I hope she can reassure me too and help me find a solution.
if something was wrong (as in 'really' wrong), your GP would have had you scurrying for all sorts of tests by now. I have been the same with my stomach cancer issues. My GP said "If I thought something was wrong like that, you wouldn't be sitting here now, you'd be off having all sorts of tests done."
I think certainly you need to find a solution as it must be horrible having this come back every month, but please don't think it's anything life threatening or anything like that. It just doesn't sound that way.
Chin up. You'll be fine and post away if you need an ear to hear you out.

[PinkRoxy]

Thanks Justin

I know she has sent me off for a urinary tract ultrasound which I had and it came back fine. Im more worried that I might have permanent inflammation which I could live with cystitis flare ups for the rest of my life.

I just want them to go away and never come back.

[Justinf]

Thanks Justin

I know she has sent me off for a urinary tract ultrasound which I had and it came back fine. Im more worried that I might have permanent inflammation which I could live with cystitis flare ups for the rest of my life.

I just want them to go away and never come back.
Might be an idea to ring the medical clinic and schedule yourself for a long consultation with your GP and really have a good talk to her. I can say 'long consultation' to you because you will know what I mean.
The 11th isn't that long to wait. I have to wait until the 16th for mine.:shades:
During the consult outline all the emotional issues that you are going through and tell her that you want this sorted ASAP.
It's good that you have a GP who you can trust.
Mine puts up with my health anxiety remarkably well and she doesn't think I am crazy either.:whistles:

[SamanthaAU]

I hope Justin has put your mind at ease a little.

[PinkRoxy]

Thanks both of you.
Yeah I can only get it at the 11th of Jan with my doctor but that's ok. Im just still wondering what it was even though the bladder pain I had over the weekend and Monday has responded nicely to the antibiotics. I told the nurse this the one from my doctors practice that my bladder feels good now after being on antibiotics but she said that is why I need further investigation because of the path lab not picking up an infection anymore.

Maybe its just a useless pathlab that doesn't know how to do their job properly. I hope there is nothing wrong with my bladder and its their mistake instead.

[cattia]

I used to get cystitis ALL THE TIME then I read a book about it which talked about a technique called bottle washing. PM me or Google it, I won't go into the details here as it's a bit personal but since I started using it I have not had a single attack in over seven years. It isn't a gimmick, it's a very simple free technique that works. I am allergic to trimethoprim so was on amoxicillin every month, it was grim.

[PinkRoxy]

Thanks. Its not anxiety as the dipsticks always picks up something that isn't normal and the amounts of blood Ive had on my most painful days I was in shock to see that my wee was quite red and when I wiped it left a blood watery mark on the toilet paper.

I will have a look at that cleaning thing. I think if the path lab aren't picking up any infection then it must be hidden. If it was just inflammation then I would have this constantly and antibiotics wouldn't clear it up.

I really have to just discuss it with my doctor and see what she says. After antibiotics my bladder is in great condition for about three weeks and then the pain comes back.

[PinkRoxy]

I have finished my antibiotics and feel a lot better but I have noticed that my bladder still at times feels a slight burn feeling to it and I can feel it when I move even when its empty. Ive been busy to try and keep myself distracted but when I think about it too much I start crying and feel really sick like anxiety because I just want to know what is actually wrong.

11th of January seems far too long away :(

[hansonmw]

One thing to consider about antibiotics is that they are anti-inflammatory too, some are almost as good as naproxen or ibuprofen. I've been told that anxiety can increase inflammation in our body, so that MAY explain some of the chronic pains and their response, in the absence of positive lab tests, to antibiotics.

[PinkRoxy]

Thanks. My bladder always responds to the five day course of trimethoprim but it doesn't seem to respond that great to ural sachets or pain killers. Ural sachets are specifically designed to stop the yucky urgency, frequency and pain you get with the sore bladder. But ural will eventually stop the frequency and urgency but it doesn't stop the pain when going for a wee and the soreness that I feel in my bladder as the trimethoprim stops everything and makes my bladder feel normal again.