More worrying thoughts

[sadie]

Hi all,

I just wondered how many of you anxiety sufferers feel panicky when you here someone has taken ill or died etc. Or even when you read of someone dying suddenly of some sort of health problem in the local newspaper.

This happened to me yesterday when I was having a chat with a friend who told me of several people in her work that had either died or nearly died recently. I found myself asking what they had died of and what age they were just to see if they were the same age of me etc... Then last night I found it really hard to relax and stop the worrying thoughts in my head about dying etc.. I never actually fell asleep until about 3am because of it.

I do think I was worse a few years back as I remember feeling panicky even just driving past a funeral parlour etc. I dont feel just as bad now but I cant go through my life worrying like this as it just makes you miserable.

Does anyone else feel like this?[:0]

sadie

[Meg]

All my issues started with loss. I had 14 deaths in a year . I began to expect everyone to die around me .

Over time and rational thinking I put it behind me .

I also work in an environemnet where I read portmortems every day which wasn't helping .

Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

[pauline]

Hi sadie

yes i'm just like you. I used to read the papers all the time and then when i read about someone dieing for no reason then i started thinking oh dear could that be me and send myself into full blown panic. I now hardly read the papers or for that matter watch the news. I don't want to know about anyone who has died but of course you always seem to told of someone. Its not so bad if its someone that has died and they are say over 70 yes i know that today thats still young but at least i can tell myself well they have had a good innings but when its young people and children its just seems so much harder to take. Death is something we have no control over so i suppose for us anxious people who like to take control we find that harder to accept we can do nothing about it.

Take care
Pauline

[april tones]

hi sadie, im to familiar with all this! I have always been a worrier but after i had my baby in october this was when it was worse. I have put a post on about this before but dont think any one posted. I feel anti- depressants have really helped with this part of my illness, what are you having or doing? I tryed avoiding papers and tv then i would see something by accident and clam up and constantly ask for reassurance from my partner, very frightening time. Papers blow thing out of proportion, doctor told me this, and as my partner said, you only hear of the bad things and not the good. My fear was same as yours, i was scared of the chicken flu saga, i avoided poultry. I was even more scared of that fuji flu, that was worst, i thought we were all gonna drop down dead quiclky, i cryed every night. I also was so scared of meningitis and reading the symptoms as i wopuld think i or baby would have symptoms, it was in press alot but now with tablets i dont worry about these as i must have been ill and needed chemical imbalance put back in my brain. HOPE THIS HELPS, IF YOU WANT TO ASK ANY THINH IM HERE, LOVE APRIL X IT WILL GET BETTER

apriltones

[Caz Fab Pants]

Sadie,

I haven't worried about death or dying but I can relate to what you said about reacting to things that you hear or see on tv when they aren't related to you in any way.
For example, I strive to be in control because of course when you are having a full on panic you dont feel very out of control and its terrifying. Therefore I hate the thought of taking any recreational drugs and no longer drink alcohol. In the past if I was to watch people raving in a club, blowing whistles, eyes bulging, sweating etc it used to make me feel panicky. I remember watching an episode of Casualty where a girl had her drink spiked and had a bad reaction, that being one of my biggest fears I had to stop watching.

I can understand you worrying about illness because its unpleasant, it can be painful and frightening at times but I dont understand why you worry about death? Is it that you fear the suffering you would have to endure before dying or the fact that you would be leaving people behind, or is it the fear of not knowing where you go after you die??

If these questions are intrusive please dont feel you have to answer, I just wondered. I perhaps shouldn't ask because I have so many fears and hang-ups, I dont need another one! LOL

Caroline
x

[grace]

sadie
i get these fears aswell sometimes, especially if i hear of someone young and apparently healthy, i think something may be wrong with me that i dont know about.

caroline
i know what you're saying about recreational drugs, that really freaks me out. i used to have a boyfriend who took them and was always pressing me to but i was always too scared of loosing control like you were saying. he used to threaten me that he would put something in my tea without me knowing. that was when my panic started...

xxx grace

[sadie]

Caroline - I dont really know what scares me the most about dying. I just dont want to die young and leave my husband and family behind. I feel I have a lot of living to do but just cant seem to do the living part because of the constant worry about dying suddenly etc. I think I am scared of dying suddenly of something like a heart attack or stroke etc rather than having a long and painful death. I know these thoughts are irrational but they are my thoughts!!

Grace - Im glad you no are no longer seeing this guy who tried to get you to take DRUGS. He doesnt sound like a particularly nice person and he should not threaten you with putting drugs in your tea. It is your choice not to take drugs and he or anyone else for that matter should respect that. Its a shame that this fear actually sparked your panic attacks....

Hope your both well.

sadie

[grace]

sadie
you're so right, he really messed with my mind. for years after i wouldnt accept a drink in anyones house unless i was really sure about them and could watch them make it. i still worry if i go out to a bar that someone will spike my drink but i dont know if that is just a sign of the times.

xxx grace

[sadie]

Grace,

Yeah I think you could be right to an extent...we do have to be more vigilant when we are out socialising. A friend of mine got her drink spiked with drugs years ago and she did end up in hospital but was ok...luckily. I never leave my drink down in a pub and if I do and dont drink it again but I do trust people to make me a drink etc.... You will eventually trust others, it will take time but you will get there.

Take care

sadie

[grace]

sadie,
yeah im ok with that now, but it did last for years.also i think thats what started my phobia about taking meds cos of the side effects etc. i swear if i take a paracetemol i can feel it go straight to my liver to nack it, ha ha. my husband thinks i'm crazy, and i think he may have a point...

xxx grace

[sadie]

Grace, If you are crazy then that must we all are crazy too!!! Well atleast we can all be crazy together.

Take care

sadie

[grace]

yes, i'll go for that.
actually i think that we are the more sane ones cos really the whole world is crazy but we have the advantage cos we know it and they dont, so us crazy people must be less crazy than the not crazy people, dont you think :)

p.s. i want to put smileys on my posts, where do they come from

xxx grace

[sarah]

Hiya Grace

I totally aggree with you about the whole world being crazy...lol

If you want smileys on your post, instead of using the quick reply box at the bottom of the messages, click on the option just above that box that says 'reply to topic' and it will bring up a box where you acan write your message/use smileys and change you text colour etc.

Happy smiley finding...lol;)

love Sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)

[grace]

hey everyone:D i found them...
thanks sarah[:I]
im[:0] that i couldnt work it out myself:(
but thanks to you sarah;) you're the greatest[8D]

xxx grace

[kate]

ooooh didnt know you could change the colour as well!!![:0]

Kate x

[nomorepanic]

Yeah Kate

Look

And the font too

Nicola

[april tones]

hi kate, i dont know if you read my message to you on this post but i understand the thoughts about leaving family behind, i think its because we love them that much its scary to not be with them, love april x

apriltones

[Caz Fab Pants]

Grace, what a nasty piece of work your ex was. I do think the way we feel is a kind of sign of the times because you hear about the date rape drug etc and also because drugs are so common these days.

I know for a fact that in the town where I live you can walk into a pub and quite easily find out who supplies and what they can get hold of.

Sadie, maybe you could start doing some kind of fitness regime to make yourself feel like you are conciously trying to improve your health, therefore lessoning your chances of having a heart attack.

I've come to the conclusion there is just SO MUCH we can worry about its ridiculous and unfair (although I have no idea who we can blame, lol.) It crossed my mind the other day what I would do if either of my parents died, it would just be awful! Luckily I nipped it in the bud and am not going to give it any more thought, there's no point.

C
x