In need of help now :(

[Hiffhin22]

Hi everyone. So heres my story and was wondering if anyone could shed a little light on my situation as im not coping very well at the moment.

So since the age of 14 ive suffered from panic attacks about my health. I am a massive over thinker who tries to see logic in everything. Ive always been a bit of an insomniac. Ive been through periods where i will go into a depressive state and stay in and try and think myself better but i guess it just makes me worse! I always think every symptom i have is something sinister and that causes me to panic and cause i panic i worry more! These periods come and go and when they go im fine, i go out with my friends and love life. But im currently in my latest bout of this viscious cycle and its got really bad where i am complete aware of everything thats going on in my body and every movement in my head, i dont feel like me at all and everything around me seems different. Im completely aware of how my panic is affecting me and how to calm myself down but yet i still dont feel myself. Cany anyone tell me whats going on as im quite scared! Thank you in advance for any replies x

[MissHDynamite]

Hello.. Sorry your having a bad time at the moment. Sounds like you have Health Anxiety which causes your panic attacks. I don't suffer from that particular anxiety but I am aware many do so you should find a lot of help on here. I do know about anxiety symptoms though so I think your feeling of everything seeming different would be down to derealisation. This is very common with anxiety sufferers. It's not a nice feeling at all but it will pass as your anxiety does. If your not already in touch with your docs or a counsellor regarding this then maybe it would be a good place to start in your recovery. Ps I also suffer insomnia :lac: so maybe you will get more replies from other sufferers if you repost during the day or early evening. Hope your feeling better soon x

[AuntieMoosie]

Hello and welcome to NMP :welcome:

From what you're describing, it sounds to me as if you're possibly having a bit of a depressive episode, I know that one I have one, the first thing I say is that "I don't feel like me" everything becomes a bit strange and I sometimes feel like I'm not properly connected to the rest of the world.

This is a very common symptom of depression and also anxiety, which can do much the same thing.

Are you currently, or have you in the past, been on any medication to help you at all??

I would advise that you go and have a chat with your doctor and maybe see about trying some anti depressants to help lift your mood. They do take a few weeks to kick in, but I've always found them to be most helpful :)

I hope you feel better soon, you're not alone, there are always lovely, kind and helpful people here who will help and support you. :) :hugs:

[Tessar]

Hello Hiffhin, sorry to hear you're not coping very well. Reading what you say about being completly aware of everything going on in your body & every movement in your head is something I can relate to. I'm sure most people generally, day to day, might have a fleeting moment when they're aware of something going on in their body or head. I suppose it comes & goes so fast they dont really pay any attention to it. But what happens is, if you begin to notice the sensations & focus on them more than normal, they become very real indeed & once you are focusing on them, they increase in intensity. Everything in your body speeds up: your mind, heart etc which adds to the fear.
This might not be quite the same as you are describing but I dont ever like feeling light-headed. When I was younger it would bother me quite alot. These days I've calmed down over it. I think thats simply because I'm older now & more experienced in life. When I was younger I doubt I'd have had a clue about what Health Anxiety was but I realise from reading people's posts that I probably would have been told I had it. But now I've learned to contend with the odd strange feeling or sensation & not focus on it too much & then go overboard in my reaction, it really helps.
Like anyone, if I am anxious or stressed I am most definitely more concentrated on myself & within myself especially. For instance, if I think back to the first time I ever got on a plane (I had a huge fear of flying & such strong anxiety my friends thought I'd run away from the airport) that up in the air I was convinced I'd get really ill, fall over, be unable to stand up, be sick etc & that everyone on the plane would hate me. Well of course it was a strange feeling being up there but once I got acclimatised & did my best to relax, the flight (all 8 hours of it) passed without any of these things I feared actually happening to me. I have been on several flights since & of course at times I was scared if there was turbulence or if the plane banked & I felt a bit funny, but I learned that the feelings dont last & I can survive them without any permanent damage.
I think what I'm trying to say is, the more focused you are on your body, the worse anything is going to feel. If you are an insomniac that certainly wont help. Lack of sleep can often make you feel a bit woosy the next day so if you arent feeling tip-top, then anything going on inside is going to be heightened.
Actually you are already aware of what is going on here - you know that believing your symptoms are sinister causes you to panic & then worry more. That's actually a helpful bit of knowledge. Its good too that you've had periods where you are fine and that when you are fine you can go out with friends and love life. This shows that you are aware of how good life can be & what you need here is maybe some help that points you towards finding a way of getting better. Maybe you need a little help with this - I agree that having a chat with your doctor would be a good thing. Whether you decide that medication might help or some counselling or CBT perhaps as these would provide skills you can build on? Just some simple techniques to learn how to focus away from yourself would be a great starting point. Hope this helps!