Letting Go!

[strengthincharacter!]

When do we know when to let someone go?
Is there a sign, a mere symptom, A bell that dings?
Why do I love so deeply? I am only one, just a little soul in this HUGE world.So why cant I ever let go?
Am I destined to be alone in my shadow loving and hopelessly waiting for all the love I have for people that dont want it to just disappear or be welcomed in? There is no ryhme or reason to this madness of confusion I feel. I am forever lost in a state of trying to sort out reality and find my place. The searching has only lead to more lonesome. While I sit here not letting you or you or you go I take away from my happiness, my goals and dreams.
So the ever wonderous question, just how do I let you go? All of you!
I am a prisoner, trapped in everyone else's worlds, never seeking whats in this life for ME. As much as I try to hang on and find reason behinde it all or put logic to all the messed up paths, I have only distanced myself further from the mirror.
I am a helper, I care, I love beyond reason, and I am a F*&%ing door mat! Coldness of truth though, I allowed it all! Every bit of these thoughts I allow. The gulit, the caring, the love, the will to fight your life for you for god sake... Isnt that enough?
As it all unfolded I knew what it was taking you over, yet I try .. still I try. I watched as you tore yourself apart in fear and drug me down inch by inch with you. Here we are today, same sh*& different tune, yet I try... still I try.
Call me a lunatic, psycho, pathetic, but I love you... maybe way to much, so much you dont deserve this kind of dedication.
Six years for you, 5 for you and you and you and you. Drugs, lies, cheat, deceit, and any and everything you could do to show me I was a fool, and still I try.
Why do we believe in things that dont exsist? What is it about false hope that leaves you breathless and pulling at the reigns even tighter?
Well guess what my flesh eating parasite's I now choose ME!
I choose me to love and be a door mat for, I choose me to trust beyond reason and love with all that I am. I no longer choose YOU... none of you! No more excuses, no more endless reasons of why, no more pointing fingers of anger and blame, because today I LET GO!!!

[AuntieMoosie]

Are you okay??

I've read what you've posted several times now and I'm not quite following:shrug:

Is it that you're trying to say something?? I want to be able to help but I'm finding it difficult.

It might be a little more helpful if you could explain how you're feeling so that people can understand and help you :)

[strengthincharacter!]

I am ok. I apologize for the confusion. It isnt often I can just write whats on my mind. There are several things in my life I am battling right now and one being the ability to let go of peopel who cause nothing but pain and misery to me. So as thoughts approached I wrote. It is easier for me to do that then sit in panic day in and out. I apologize if my thoughts are random and unclear. It is honestly me just rambling my feelings toward different things taking place,really not searching for help persay but maybe a way to just express my self through my ramblings.On this one though, what really is, is the fact that I am a serious door mat for people who I care so deeply for but give me absolutly nothing in return. Thank you for reading what i write, means alot to know people are out there who do listen or care.

[AuntieMoosie]

Oh ok now I understand completely what you're saying:)

Thank you for explaining it :)

Yes I understand what you're saying about being mistreated by the very people that you love, it does make life extremely difficult.

But I'm so glad that you're making a stand now as it's no fun to be feeling abused in any way, shape or form.

In a funny sort of way, it's very healthy that you're feeling angry towards these people and how they're treating you.

You obviously still love these people and care for them very much, but it's the way they're treating you that is causing your anger.

Have you considered talking with them and really explaining how you feel and how their behaviour is effecting you??

It's quite all right to explain that although you love them, you do not like their behaviour towards you, that way, you're not turning them into a "bad" person, you are just letting them know that you do not like their behaviour.

If things don't change and their behaviour is still effecting you, then sometimes, however hard it is, we have to take a back step, I guess this is what you mean when you say "today I let go"?

I hope things work out for you, but you're going the right thing in making a stand, nobody deserves to be treated badly by anyone. Hope this helps a bit :)

[strengthincharacter!]

Helps a whole lot Thank you :)
yes i have spoke with these people on my feelings several times
throughout the years and it never ceases. So after going back 6 months ago and allowing one of them in my life again, and trying it yet again, I realized that this is not a problem I can ever mend. I also see now that if I stay in the relationship I will only become worse with my own thoughts and fears. And in turn this person who is miserable themselves will be doing nothing shy of taking all of my power away and living miserably through me. So today i made the decison to just let go and I can honestly say it was as if a huge weight was taken from me. The sadness is still there but I am so much more at peace with myself and with these people. Thank you again for the kind words and the thoughts. I truly appreciate it all. Hope your holidays ahve been awesome and I wish you a wonderful new year. :roflmao: