View Full Version : 7 wks on fluoxetine, when will I feel normal?
I suffer from panic, anxiety attacks :weep:and depression. I started fluoxetine 7 wks ago. 3 wks at 10mg and 4 wks at 20mg. Iv noticed some days I feel as if I'm on the road to feeling better and other days (like today) I feel very low and a little anxious. I take .25 of klonopin in the mornings when I wake because some mornings I feel the anxiety creeping up on me and I take another .25 of the klonopin at bedtime with the 20mg of fluoxetine. I'm having a hard time staying positive when I have days when I feel so low, days when I could lay in bed all day and sleep. I have 4 small children so laying in bed is not an option for me. I'm feeling alone and that there isn't any one to talk to who truly understands what I'm going through and that's why I'm on this forum, hoping there's someone who can relate and tell me that it will get better. 😪
leanne....28
30-12-12, 18:59
hi im the same as you i cant stop feeling sick and i think im getting paroiond im going back to the docs tommor mayby im gona ask to change to somthing else ive been on 20mg for 6 week your not alone its a terrable thing to deal with:hugs:
Hi, I know exactly how you feel and it's the worst feeling ever. I am not taking fluox, however I am taking escitalopram together with mirtazapine. The mirtazapine was not doing much on it's own so escit was added. It's been about 5 weeks and I'm 12 days into a dose increase and feel like I'm back to square one. It is such a lonely existance for us at the moment as unless you have been there you cannot truly understand. I have my mum staying with me to help as I am on my own with kids. I feel right now that she makes me worse as she is loosing patience with me and seems irritated by my condition. I realise it must be difficult supporting someone when they are suffering anxiety and depression especially when the meds make you worse before better. I just wish she would talk to me instead of critisizing my parenting - I have 2 great kids!!!!
Hello Katy2104, I can relate to the feeling of being criticized. My family has been supportive but only to an extent because they don't understand what iv been through and am still going through. My husband is tired of my ups and downs and there's no way for me to make him understand my struggles. I know that I'm slowly getting better but when I have days like today, I don't think I'll ever be normal again and that just makes it so much worse! I'm tired of being tired and afraid of the anxiety all the time. I just want it to go away. I want to be happy.
---------- Post added at 15:16 ---------- Previous post was at 14:58 ----------
Hi leanne...28, thank you for your response. It makes me feel better for you to say I'm not alone. Let me know if your doctor switches you or keeps you on the 20mg a bit longer. Iv made it this far and I really don't want to have to start over again with something new. I just want the fluoxetine to work and be calm again.
leanne....28
30-12-12, 20:59
i was only thinkin of switching because im 6 weeks in and still feel very sick and wreching all the time also paranoid with is somthing i never ad so i was thinkin that fluoxtine is not for me .xx tke care ill keep you updated:)
Hi I just wanted to reassure you that at 7 weeks I had a big blip. The meds really kicked in for me after this. I thought I'd never feel better but now at 10 weeks I had a lovely Christmas, have visited friends and even went away for the weekend. I never, ever thought I'd feel like this three weeks ago but I'm going back to work next week (I've been off since October). Hang in there. If you have seen any improvements things will continue to get better. Just think of the down times as bumps in the road. The ride will get smoother, I promise. Xxxxxx
Oh that's so good to hear! I needed some reassuring. I feel very tired most of the day. Did you feel tired? And did it eventually subside?
I felt the opposite really, I couldn't sleep and was awake by 4.30 am most mornings. This gradually extended so by 8 weeks I was sleeping till 6.30 and now I'm back to normal sleep wise. I also weighed myself today and the 11lb I lost within the first three weeks has gone back on. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say I'm totally better but I am sure I'll get there now when I wasn't before. I had a good piece of advice to do one thing each day outside my comfort zone and this really helped. Particularly spending time with friends and family who understood when I didn't want to. It sounds crazy but this helped me to fill my head with things other than how I was feeling again. I found not being able to be 'part' of life around me really hard but now I'm looking forward again. Xxxx
stormyok10
31-12-12, 16:53
Hi Snoopy,
That is just what I need now, some reassuring words that things will get better, am on day 21 & feeling absolutely SH--
Not going out tonight as feel so ill, just going to chill watching television xxx
Things will get better Stormy. Happy New Year. I hope next year is better for all of us. :-) xxxx
stormyok10
31-12-12, 19:26
Hi Snoopy,
I am the same as you with sleep, just will not come. Most nights only getting a couple of hours. How long before you found things started to improve, even slightly?
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE XXX
Snoopy's right she was like you and is now feeling so much better, its not easy and it is hard if you cannot sleep because somedays you just want bed time to come so that you can start a new day but then you cannot sleep so you feel even worse, your sleep will gradually improve as the side effects ease. xxx
I go see my pdoc on wed and I'm going to ask him about my fatigue. My anxiety level has gone down but I can't handle being tired all the time..it sucks!! I lost a considerable amount of weight in the beginning as well. I'm just now starting to eat normal again and put some weight back on. So there are positives but when I have a bad moment or day, it just brings me right back down...I try so hard to remain positive and hopeful. I just can't wait for the day that I wake up and feel like myself again.
It will come, I still get tired at times and I am 4 months in now, I lost a lot of weight too and have put on a few pounds but it has stayed off even though I am eating normally. It is good your anxiety has gone down too, I think the bad moments will get less and less, hopefully you doc will be able to give you more info and put your mind at rest. xx
I wake up thinking about anxiety and waiting for it. It's such a horrible feeling. I need to train my mind to stop thinking about the fear of being anxious. Every day is a struggle to stay focused and happy. I just want to wake up happy and worry free.
Princess2206
01-01-13, 16:08
Hi Ocean, I totally understand how you feel. It is my 4th week on 20mg Fluox. I am tired all the time as well and usually in the evening I start to feel little bit better but then same as you I wake up in the morning and waiting for anxiety start. It is horrible feeling and I can't wait for day when I wake up and feel myself again. :hugs:
Hello princess, this is my 5th wk at 20 mg, iv had some rough past few days. Today I feel a bit depressed and tired. I can't wait for this cloud of doom I feel all the time to go away. I'm wondering if maybe the doctor will add a med to help with the added depression I feel. I don't want to take any more meds but I want to feel like myself again. Keep me posted on how you're feeling over the next few weeks.
Princess2206
02-01-13, 16:29
Hi Ocean:) I hope you feeling a little bit better. How was your doc visit? :hugs:
Hello, my doc visit was good. He's keeping me at 20mg of fluoxetine and told me that I should not be afraid to take the klonopin when I need to, it's such a low dose that I shouldn't be worried about addiction. He gave me a slip to get some blood work to make sure that all my counts are good. I need to be more consistent with therapy as well. I havnt seen my counselor in over a month. I'm very tired at the moment but I remain hopeful. How are you feeling??
Princess2206
02-01-13, 22:05
I am glad you feeling better:) it is my 24th day on fluox and I had ok few past days. Didn't feel great but deffinitely better than first 3 weeks. Tonight I feel a little bit depressed and anxious. I hate when I start to have negative thoughts. I have sick note till tomorrow from my doctor but I still can't even think of going back there. I wish I feel myself again. Are you off work as well? I take 2mg diazepam when i feel really bad which helps me to relax.:hugs:
I can relate to how you're feeling and it's awful. I take klonopin which must be like what you take when I'm feeling bad. I take a very low dose (.25) in the mornings when I wake because I still feel shaky and a bit anxious in the mornings and then I relax enough to make it through the whole day, there are some days though when I have to take another .25mg if I begin to feel anxious, those days are less..thank god!! I am currently not working because I have 4yr old boy/girl twins at home who take up a lot of my time and energy!! Going back to work for you may trigger more anxiety, I wish for you that you didn't have to go back right away. Iv been on an anxiety roller coaster ride from hell since sept 8th. Fluoxetine is my 3rd ad since sept and the only ad that has helped me so far. I'm trying to stay positive and only think positive. Please feel free to ask me anything and know that I'm here if you need to talk.
Day 38 on 20mg of fluoxetine. Feeling ok this morning but tired. I sleep all night but wake up tired and want to go back to sleep. I'm hoping this fatigue passes soon. Iv got too much to do to be tired all the time. Can anyone else relate?
Yes Ocean it will get easier and the tiredness will ease, I still struggle to get out of bed in the morning though 4 months in but as soon as I put my feet on the ground I am fine. I think you will see a big difference in the next two weeks. xxx
Thank you Janine for your encouragement. I sure hope it gets better within the next few wks. But honestly I'll take a little fatigue over the constant anxiety any day. So I know things are looking up :)
It will get better and me too I would take tiredness over how I felt any day.
xxx
Feeling a little anxious this morning, chills. I feel like I'm being pulled down by some anxiety monster and I'm trying to pull myself back up. It's very frustrating. I think it's my anxious mind over thinking about all the things that I need to do with in the next few days. I wanted today to be a good day, go shopping but now I think I won't be able to find the motivation or strength to leave the house. I'm trying to keep moving and doing my daily routine. it's just one of those days I guess :(
stormyok10
04-01-13, 17:48
Am the same ocean, cant get motivated to do anything, just sitting staring at telli, not taking anything in xx
If that is how you are feeling then go with it, do the things you can when you can, some days all I could do was sit on the sofa, then I would feel better and plan for the next day and would feel bad again, so just take it day by day and don't plan just see what you feel like, these horrible side effects change too within a day and how you feel for part of it can change either way so easily.
You will get so you can do these again.
Take care both of you xx
Good advice Janine. Day by day is all we can handle. I just want to feel better so bad...I know I'm getting there, I just have a hard time being patient. I tell myself to let time pass, to just relax and know its working. I like/need your words of encouragement, they help me to see the light at the end of this tunnel. I appreciate it.
Believe me if you knew me you would know that I am not patient when I am ill for any reason, I am always in a hurry to get better, so I do know what you mean, I thought I was never going to feel like me again, you are right you do have to just let time pass and try and relax and not feel guilty because I did and I know I pushed myself more than I should have done some days because I did not want to let people down, in the end I just had to sit and wait and eventually you start to feel better more and more.
42 days on 20mg fluoxetine. Iv had a few fairly good days where I can see glimpses of my old self. Today I woke up feeling congested, sick and anxious. I'm wondering if my cold can cause some anxiety and throw things off a bit, I just don't feel good today. I woke up at 6:30 am and began to feel my anxious tingly feelings all over, I got up, made tea and took a .25mg of klonopin. I layed back down for a while, I don't feel anxious anymore just don't feel good :( if it isn't one thing it's another. I need a break.
Hi Ocean, it is good that you have had a few fairly good days and you have been feeling like yourself, the problem is when we are ill with something else it does make you feel lousy and bring some of the symptons back, I have diverticulitus and IBS which flares up periodically and when it does my anxiety is worse again, I know now that it does not last though and like my Doctor said everyone has off days.
Hopefully as your cold gets better you will continue to improve xxx
Hello Janine, Iv noticed lately that there's times when I try to watch tv and when i start to watch i begin to feel anxiety. Does this seem strange? Has it ever happened to you? Before my debilitating panic episode a few months ago, I looked forward to a few tv shows at night after the kids went to bed and now I'll sit down to watch and within minutes I feel anxious and get up and just go to bed. There are few things that I look forward too and I'd really like to be able to watch tv again without worry. It sounds so silly..
Princess2206
07-01-13, 17:47
Hi Ocean, it sound very familiar to me. There are programs on TV which I love to watch but now I can't like for example News or some comedy shows and movies. At my worst before taking fluoxetine and first 2 weeks my anxiety was so bad that I couldn't watch TV or read magazine at all. But not only this... Ones I start to be very anxues because of banana skin on the table etc. totally crazy... You just anxues because silly stupid things. I still have my moments but before I couldn't do or look at anything. How are you today? xxx
No its not silly, I was a few weeks when all I could do for a lot of the time was sit in front of the TV but I did not enjoy it or really take in the programs and like you sometimes I would just go to bed because I could not concentrate, as I felt better I started to enjoy my favourite programs again but whereas I used to like to watch them upstairs in our bedroom whilst my husband was in the lounge as he likes to watch sport etc I now find that i like to be with him in the evening and will sit with the lap top and play on games if there is nothing that I am interested in, about ten oclock i then go and watch what I have recorded, strange!
I think you will again as you start to relax. x xx
I feel ok today, just congested from a head cold. Although just a moment ago I was sitting at my table eating ice cream with the kids and began to feel anxiety. I had to get up and walk around a bit. Now I feel a little shaky and I don't want to talk. I hate having any strange feelings at all. It brings me right down. I did just take 3 ibuprofen because I have a headache, maybe that has something to do with it.
I know, you just feel well for a little while they something starts it off again, I do think al lot of it is because you are still feeling unwell and congested.
Hope it passes soon. xxx
Thank you. I hope it passes soon too. I hope all of it passes soon.
It will, it just feel like it is going to last forever. xxx
Hello, aside from my congestion and headache, I felt pretty normal today. No anxiety, panic depression or fatigue. My husband is home from work today and that helps me stay calm tremendously. I wish he could stay home everyday :(. I'm hoping that by tomorrow my head cold is better and I feel we'll enough to maybe leave the house with the kids for a little while and go visit my mom. I try to get out as much as possible to help me face my fears and not let the "what ifs" swallow me up. I'm trying to remain positive and patient. I hope everyone is well and has had an anxiety free day today :)
Princess2206
08-01-13, 21:50
Hi Ocean:) so glad to read your positive post:) I found that when my boyfriend is of work I feel so much better too:) I hope you will have more days like today:) my day wasn't too bad. Still anxiety hanging around but no panic attacks. I had something to eat and called my friend. I still feel very tired and no motivation but I try to be positive as well :hugs:
Glad you have had a better day Ocean, I am sure as you cold goes you will feel even better.
Princess you have achieved small things today which is good as you said yesterday that you was on sofa all day, it is all little steps in the right direction.
I think you have both done so well to get this far xxxx
Hello, I'm sick with a viral infection so I just don't feel good. I'm pushing through my discomfort because I have too many kids to take care of even though all I wanna do is go to bed and sleep for a little while. I felt a little shaky today on the inside, don't know if it's my virus or anxiety, maybe a little of both. I just want to feel better, all better. Maybe tomorrow :)
Ocean when you do not feel well it will make the anxiety worse and also it is hard to fight off infections when you are no feeling one hundred percent, when my 3 boys were young it was hard to get through the days when I did not feel well so it must be even worse for you at the moment, try and get some rest when you can and hope you feel better tomorrow. xxxx
Thank you Janine, you really help me to feel better, you're words of encouragement and how you can relate helps me get through. How long have you been suffering with anxiety?
Ocean I am very new to all this really compared to a lot of people on here, it all started mid August last year, I had been having a lot of pain in my tummy since having some antibiotics in July that did not agree with me, I have IBS and diverticulitus flare ups anyway and was used to those so kept thinking it would go away, anyway to cut a long story short it became unbearable coupled with not being able to rest relax, ended up in hospital with an acute infection and they said that was what was making feel like i was. came out ater a week two days later all these horrible feelings started up again ended up in A&E in a right old state where they diagonsed anxiety caused by the infection and they also think losing my dad earlier in the year and dealing with my mum who is difficult had all been building up too without me realising, I am also a workaholic and did not take enough time off and consequently was always rushing about at home to catch up.
I have a great husband. 3 lovely boys (grown up now but two still live here plus one girlfriend. animals and I love my job and had always been a happy confident person, so where it all came from I really do not know.
xxx
I'm sorry you have IBS and diverticulitis, I'm somewhat familiar with those issues because my mom has had diverticulitis for many yrs and I know it can be very bothersome. My anxiety began when I was 25 (I'm 33 now). my anxiety came about because I had my first son at 18, worked, went to college, payed my own bills and had a not so good relationship with my sons father. So after years of having too much worrying was when my panic began. I was prescribed lexapro which worked for a few yrs but then i got married and became pregnant with my twins, the doctor put me on Effexor, which also worked well until after a few yrs I started having consistent heart palpitations. So then I was put on celexa which was working well until this past Sept. along with tons of stress within my personal life and the celexa having a reverse effect on me, I had a breakdown and have been fighting the panic since. I'm on fluoxetine now which seems to be working but just very slowly and I think I'm also very sensitive to the feelings of panic because the episode in Sept was a nightmare. So I guess you can say that im not new to anxiety. I'm learning now that I need to take more time for myself, try to relax and take it day by day.
Yes if I have learnt anything it is to take more time for myself, relax as I still feel guilty at home if I am not doing something but am trying really hard, and yes to take it day by day. My eldest son is getting married in August so my doctor has said that he will keep me on my meds until after then which has put my mind at rest
I have coped with my tummy problems for a lot of years and it just flares up now and again, the problem is now when it does I think it is going to be like when I had the infection so that is when they anxiety kicks in again, I know it is silly because I know the signs now and I would just ring the docs and get the antibiotics that made it better.
It must be hard to cope with this and still have to function with small children. I do not know if I could have done that.
I don't think I'll ever be able to come off the meds, not any time soon any way and I'm ok with that. I have 5 children all together, 3 of my own, 2 step kids which my husband and I have full custody of, so yes it's very difficult at times and that's a main reason why I'm still on medication :). I have a supportive husband but he works a lot. I have a large extended family, i have a pretty good support system. It's just hard to explain to people who have never experienced the feelings I have, they truly don't understand. That's why I came on this forum..for support. I wish I had more help at home, but there's not much I can do to change that so I just cry. Crying is good.
Bless you, you sound like a lovely caring lady, it is hard to explain to people and for them to understand, my mum does not really, luckily my sister does as she suffers herself at times but more depression than anxiety and my work colleagues and friends have been very good including my line manager who I found out had a breakdown a few years ago so it meant that she has been very understanding. xx
Princess2206
10-01-13, 15:15
Hi Ocean, it is good to have family around you and someone to talk to. My boyfriend is very supportive but he works all day apart from weekends. My friends work as well and they have small children so they are very busy all the time :/ and my family is living miles away which make me feel really alone sometimes. This forum is a great support! :)
Hello Princess, did you go back to work?? How have you been feeling?
Princess2206
10-01-13, 16:18
I went to my doctor today and I have another 2 weeks off which is great as I am not confident to go back to work yet. I am still on crazy rollercoaster every day but feel better than week 1-3. I still learn how to be patient and don't expect miracles over a night which I thought it happen. My doctor said that fluoxetine works really slow and to feel totally ok takes few months. How is life for you Ocean? From which state are you from? Just wonder what time is there as in here is 4.20pm:)
I'm from Connecticut. It's 2:20 here right now. I'm glad to hear that you won't be returning to work for a couple more weeks, it'll give you more time to get better. I'm on day 46 at 20mg of the fluoxetine and any bit of normal I feel has been slow coming. I'm hopeful that as each day passes it gets better and better, so far so good. I try to keep busy and my mind from thinking too much. It's def been a struggle the past few months but I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I just need to get over this virus and I'll be good to go :)
Princess2206
10-01-13, 19:56
So happy for you Ocean:) it is such a long and difficult time for all of us but positive posts are so uplifting :) I hope you have a lovely day and keep posting :) xxx
This fluoxetine side effects are no fun at all. I am on day 9 of this and feel sick, suffering from insomnia and feeling nausea as well. I took fluoxetine years ago and never suffered from these problems. I can sympathize with you all ...
The side effects were awful for me too. I never had or never noticed side effects before. Like so many people have said you just have to put your big girl panties on and deal with the side effects and then you'll be better. In the beginning I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was taking a med that was supposed to be helping my anxiety but only made me feel so much worse! I tell myself "survival of the fittest" i can and will survive. I would and still am pushing through the feelings of dread. I'm still counting days and every day I tell myself that today is the day I return to myself. I havnt reached that exact day yet but I can tell its coming, cuz with each new day, i feel more hopeful than the day before. Positive thinking, positive thoughts. I keep a journal of my days too, I think it has helped me some. This forum has been helpful too, I know I'm not alone and that gives me comfort.
You will survive, it is difficult when you are feeling lousy to think positively, but as you do start to feel better it is such a relief and you will get there, I never thought I would feel me again but I do. It definately helped me through the bad times finding this forum and others that were going through the same things. xx
Janine, are you able to drive without having anxiety? Do you take a sedative at all throughout the day to keep you from having anxiety? I still feel some anxiety over driving a long distance. And I'm still taking a low dose benzo in the morning and at night. I don't want to become dependent on a benzo, I only want to have to take them for emergencies.
Now, to add to all of the above, indigestion. Called the doctor to ask if I can stop these things. This is just not worth it :-!
Ocean, I can drive now without anxiety but the first few weeks to 2 months or so I did not want to drive anywhere at all, completely lost my confidence, it came back as I felt better though.
I am not on a benzo but am on a beta blocker called propanolol which is really good for keeping anxiety at bay.
Leviathan, unfortunately indigestion is one of the side effects, all I can suggest is really big doses of Gaviscon helps and it does pass.
Janine,
Thanks for the advice. Never had this in the past when I have had Prozac, so it is a bit alarming to say the least. Cannot wait until these side effects pass. I too have propranolol but never really use it.
I still feel anxious about driving but I'm trying to get over it and just drive. I can drive down the street to my moms no problem but any further than that and I begin to get nervous. I'm supposed to drive 45 mins to my inlaws later with all the kids and it's already giving me anxiety. I may end up not going. I tell myself that it's ok if I can't do it, don't worry about it. I just hate disappointing my mother in law. Such a mental struggle, one of the many mental struggles that exhaust me.
I am sure she will understand if you can't do it, you will be able to make up for it when you can again, we let things worry us too much and there are times when we have to do what is right for us and not other people, if i have learnt anything from this it is to try and do things that I want to do and not what other people want or expect me to do (can't say it always happens or that it is easy but I am trying)
xxxx
Bad day today. Don't exactly know why but I'm feeling the anxiety today trying so hard not to have a full blown panic attack. Iv asked my sister to come over to help with the kids or to just sit with me and I'm waiting for her. I'm shaking, crying and using the bathroom a lot. I thought I was beyond this so this episode is bringing me way down.
Hi Ocean, I had a bad blip around where you are at also. Don't worry it is normal. Janine helped me out while I was freaking out at my brothers house! It is ok to still feel bad, it doesn't mean you are falling backwards. After a good period it just hits you harder. These blips will get less frequent. I promise what you're experiencing is totally normal. I hope it passes soon. Stay strong. Xxxxx
Hi Ocean, I have been out to the Supermarket and just seen your post when I got back, sorry you are feeling bad, hope your sister is there with you now, just remember that you have had a few days when you have had this virus and that has probably upset your system and caused the blip, like Snoopy said he happened to her and it has happened to me especially when I am unwell for another reason.
Try and relax, just think it is a blip it may last a few hours or a few days but it will go away again.
xxx
Thank you both. I took something to help calm me and its helped. My sister is on her way and then hopefully my husband will be home within a few hrs. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I will keep you posted.
I woke up ok, every morning I feel just ok with a touch of anxiety lingering somewhere with in me. I already took a low dose of the klonopin and I'm just gonna relax a bit and try to keep my mind focused on something else. I don't want a repeat of yesterday!! When will the morning come when I wake up and not be thinking about anxiety?!?!? It's very frustrating and depressing. I guess that's just part of training my mind to stop thinking about it. I long for the days when I wake up and the only thing I'm thinking about is what to do today. I pray, I try to meditate, I yell at myself in my mind to stop the anxiety that is ruining my life. I can only take so much and I'm just tired, tired of the mental struggles and the lack of motivation an want. I have a lot of people who depend on me and I'm done with this panic crap, I want me back. My kids need me to be the mean ole mom again :) and not the mom who crys and prefers to lay in bed. Not good.
Princess2206
12-01-13, 13:14
Hi Ocean:) mornings are horrible for me too:/ I wish like you to be able to wake up in the morning happy relaxed and don't think about my anxiety. I know that it will happen one day we just need to be patient. It takes time to go back to normal self and I think that because we want it so badly and we are so disappointed is not happening it makes our anxiety worse. Keep posting how you feel. I know how hard it is for you just now. Hugs xxx
Ocean, I have just got in from work and was wondering how you are feeling now, you will wake up one day and this horrible anxiety will be gone, it just seems to go on forever. xxx
Hello everyone, I left the house with the kids and came to my moms for a while. My baby nephew and sister are at my moms visiting, the baby makes me happy and he keeps my mind from thinking about the anxiety. The day so far has been ok, nothing like yesterday so I hope that the remainder of the day stays calm. My house is a mess but I'll worry about that when I get home. I'm hoping for a nice evening with my husband and be able to relax to maybe watch a movie. I'll continue to pray and hope for continual better days :)
So glad you are having a better day, don't worry about your house being a mess, it does not matter and I bet it is not that bad.
Hope you have a nice evening you deserve it after yesterday.
xxx
Thank you Janine, you've been so kind and reassuring. I truly appreciate it. I'll keep posting on how I'm feeling. How are you feeling?
I am fine, have had a headache all day which has turned into a migraine but hopefully I will sleep it off as I am at work again tomorrow apart from that I am good. xx
Day 72 on fluoxetine, day 49 at 20mg. I'm noticing some heart palpitations the last couple of days. I try to just ignore them and not let them make me too nervous. I just hope they go away. I don't go back to my pdoc until the end of the month so I guess I'll wait it out and see if they go away. Other than that I feel ok. A little tense this morning but tension is a part of daily life so I just push it away. Hoping for a good day and night.
Good that you are not so tense, one thing I have not had is heart palpitations with my anxiety but my sister does and I know that it really worries her when she does.
my headache has eased a bit today so do not feel as bad as last night.
xxx
Iv had a bad headache today. I'm never sure what to take for it. I have tylenol, ibuprofen and aspirin but I'm confused by what I read which one is actually the better to take while taking fluoxetine. Any insight on which I should use for headaches? One day with out any troubles would be nice. :weep:
I cannot take Ibuprofen or Asprin as I had an internal bleed 2 years ago and had to have a six pint blood transfusion so they told me to avoid them.
I am allowed to take paracetomol or codiene or a mix of the two and they are both ok to take with fluxotiene, i had to take a lot of them when I was first on the fluxotiene as I had a lot of migraines and i was fine. xxx
Day 73 on fluoxetine, day 50 20mg. I woke up anxious, frequent bathroom visits, gagging and had to take something to calm me. I'm still feeling the effects of the anxiety so I'm thinking I should take another .25 of the klonopin since I take less than what's prescribed anyway just to keep the anxiety at bay. My blood work came back all normal but I'm waiting for the doc to call me back because I'd prefer to talk to him rather than the receptionist who doesn't really know what she's talking about. I do feel some relief knowing that there's nothing medically wrong with me but I'm still very troubled by the fact that the fluoxetine has not put the anxiety to rest by now. Iv never had these troubles before and I'm having a hard time getting over it. Im very discouraged to say the least. I wish there was something else I could do to help me get better. I go to a therapy apt today, if I can get myself there so hopefully that will help. I hate to sound pathetic and whiny, I'm just so tired. :(
Princess2206
14-01-13, 14:17
Hi Ocean, I understand how you feel. Fluoxetine is so slow. Just wish there is quick fix for this illness. I had 2 very good days on Saturday and Sunday with nearly no anxiety and intrusive thoughts but today I don't feel too great. Feel the anxiety and panic and have twitchy muscles. You don't sound pathetic Ocean. I know how you feel. :hugs:
Thank you Princess. I'm happy that you had some good days! Good days are so nice, aren't they? I'm sorry that you're not feeling that great today, I'm right along with you. Do you take a sedative to help during the bad anxiety moments, like a benzo? I thank god I have the klonopin, I don't know what I'd do without it, but I'm def looking forward to the days when I don't have to take it anymore. I have to go out today so I'm a little tense about that but I'm hoping it helps. Keep me posted on how you're feeling. What week are you at on the fluoxetine?
Princess2206
14-01-13, 15:25
Today is first day of week 6. I do have diazepam at home for emergency which saved my life many times. Even to have them with me make me feel calmer! I just booked myself for hair appointment on Wednesday which I hope I can make as I develop terrible fear of being outside the house. I will definitely take diazepam before if I would be able to go as I had to cancel to previews ones. :/
You sound just like me. I hate leaving the house, gives me anxiety and I fear I'm getting worse. My brother in law is driving me to my therapy apt today because I fear to drive. I just took another something to calm me down. My doctor says I don't use it enough. I just don't like taking it so I have a hard time with it. I hope tomorrow is a better day..for both of us.
Hi Ocean, you are not pathetic you are just having a tough time, hope you got to your appointment ok,
Princess, good news about the hair appointment, I had to cancel mine when I was really bad and did not dare make one for ages but when I did and got there and back I felt like I had achieved so much.
I am the same with diazapan I still carry them in my bag as a safety net.
xxx
Hello, I woke up ok, no anxiety which is a relief cuz mornings are the worst. I think it's because my husband was home. I took my full dose of klonopin like the doctor says and iv been calm, I even went grocery shopping all by myself. I hope it remains a good day. Princess, did you make it to your hair apt??
Good news Ocean, why is it that days can be so different, it would be so nice if it carried on tomorrow, hopefully it will xxxx
I don't know why days are so different, it's as if we never know day to day what kind of day it's gonna be, it's awful living that way. I'm hoping that soon the bad days disappear and only good days from now on. Iv accepting the fact that I may have to be on ad's for the rest of my life. But if that's gonna make life worthwhile then that's a small price to pay. I have to take my 4yr old son to a pediatric GI specialist tomorrow and I'm dreading it. My mom is going with me so I hope it's not too bad. Keep me posted on how you're feeling. This too shall pass. We've come so far already!:hugs:
Princess2206
15-01-13, 19:26
Hi Ocean:) my appointment is tomorrow afternoon:) there is a time difference between us and it can be very confusing :) I hope I will progress as well and will have more good days. And I hope I will have good day tomorrow. I really don't like to going out and feel panicky a little bit. Keep posting too Ocean:) it is easier go through this with others:)
Well yesterday was a fairly good day, baby sat, went shopping, did laundry, cleaned, made a big dinner and then by 7:00 pm anxiety rushed in and hit me out of no where. I took something and it calmed me down. Problem is that I have 5 kids who depend on me and I don't want the anxiety anymore!! I woke up this morning ok, no anxiety but I began to have some blurry vision in my left eye. Scared me to death, started crying while my husband is getting ready for work and yelling at me to stop and to be strong, just made it worse and then he left. The blur went away and im trying to relax while all 5 kids are home from school today cuz it's a snow day. I just want one day to myself. I wont get better like this and most of the time I just feel alone.
OncewasSupergirl
16-01-13, 16:51
Oh Ocean, a bad start to the day is all it takes sometimes, try not to worry about the blurry vision its just anxiety or a side effect. I get funny vision sometimes its like looking through glass n the more i focus on it the worse i get....its really irritating.
Its hard for others to understand what its like when you have high anxiety and its so frustrating when all you want is to get well...i feel like that too. Think its hard when you have kids too as there dependent on youand you can feel your letting them down by not being your usual self. I definitely feel like that i have a son n i feel im half a Mum lately as im so anxious.
The snow day wont have helped cos you was hoping for some time to yourself which takes the pressure off. I know how alone you feel, we all feel it :/ x x
Hi oncewassupergirl, you're right...that's all it took was that one little thing to ruin my whole damn day, I havnt wanted to get out of bed since. The kids are being good, I feel bad because they know that mommy isn't well and so they try. Breaks my heart because they shouldn't have to see me like this and it's been months now. Some days I'm fine but a day like today brings everyone down. I tell my little ones that I have a headache but the older ones are just confused and worry sometimes. The 4 yr old twins aren't in school yet so they're always home with me and sometimes it makes me want to pull my hair out. Do you also take fluoxetine? What dose and for how long?
OncewasSupergirl
16-01-13, 20:38
I'm on Fluoxetine 20mg been 2 weeks today, side effects seem to be subsiding a bit for me n I definitely feel less anxious but I'm off work n not getting out nowhere near as much as usual so a way to go yet I think. What about you? How long n what dose? When you say months how many? I've been on/off bad for about 6 months now its so wearing n depressing makes it hard to get up each day. I feel for you with twins at home when my son was small I had my first bout of anxiety etc n you can feel very trapped x
Hi Ocean, sounds like you have had mixed day, I don't know how you cope with the children as well when you are not feeling well, it is good that they try and understand, you sound like you cope very well even though it might not always feel like it. Glad the blurry eye passed.
I have not long got in from work and am out early in the morning so will check on how you are doing when I get back tomorrow evening.
xx
Oncewassupergirl, I've been on Fluoxetine for 75 days, 52 days at 20mg. I had a somewhat breakdown in Sept and have been battling this panic ever since. Some days are good, some days not so good but I can honestly say that I'm much better than I was 4 months ago. So hang in and patience is very important. Keep posting on how you're feeling, we're here to encourage and help you overcome.
Janine, honestly I don't know how iv coped as well as I have with all these kids. It's been the biggest struggle for me but I seem to manage. My husband try's to help the best he can but he works a lot and is not always here when I need him. I used to be supermom, everyone would ask me how I did it, how I stayed so strong. I think the pressure and exhaustion is what broke me. And now I need to focus more on me and heal. I'll be supermom again, it's just gonna take some time.
Maddis mum
17-01-13, 10:47
Ocean I have been reading your thread and I can relate. I have 2 small children and my husband worked overseas 6 weeks out of every 8 weeks so I was alone with my 2 kids under age 4. People thought I was super mum for being able to do it but exactly like you it just got to much and I broke. I read a saying once that said depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that we were to strong for to long.
I am now 4.5 weeks on prozac and still feel terrible. It is so tough trying to cope with this illness with little people that rely on you so much.
Hi Maddis mum, it's so nice and reassuring that there's other women out there who can relate. I'm sorry that you feel terrible, I guess it comes with the fluoxetine label. I think it's so much harder to deal and heal when we have small kids at home to care for. I still wake up anxious, wishing I can just lay in bed. I guess I need to rebuild the strength and keep pushing through. Morning are the worst for me. I really hope that today is a good day for me, for all of us. Keep me posted on how you're feeling. You're not alone:hugs:
Just wanted to say ocean and maddismum I have been following your comments and they are really helpful. Have a look at some of my comments on 6.5 weeks and citalopram to fluoxetine swap. Completely agree with the everyday struggle although I suppose as I don't have children I cant fully understand but I can't do anything so having children must be hard. I am trying to get onto a different SSRI as iwould lovekids but couldnt have them on seroxat but withdrawal effects have been so bad - nearly a year that I might even go back on them and forego the kids and just have my life back. Were you taking ad's before having children? X
Hello Penguin, I was taking Lexapro when I became pregnant with my twins, my pdoc at the time switched me from lexapro to Effexor. I took the Effexor my entire pregnancy. But unfortunately at that time the warnings of taking Effexor while pregnant we're as severe as they are now. When my twin son turned 9mos the doctors found a heart murmur. The heart murmur turned into a large hole over the next 2yrs and he had to have open heart surgery to repair the defect when he was 3. So I suggest not taking Effexor while pregnant. I believe there are some ad's that aren't as harsh and can be taken during pregnancy, although probly not highly recommended. Your best bet is to talk to your doctor and get all the info and see if taking an ad while pregnant outweighs the risk.
OncewasSupergirl
17-01-13, 16:10
Ocean and Kim, there seems to be a pattern here, im always told im a Supermum my son is 11 and disabled and ive bought him up single-handedly aswell as working, but i had alot of difficulties last year that tipped me over eventually now i feel rubbish cos im not as proactive as i am normally. I worry he can tell a difference in me, but people reassure me he cant. Do you think we are products of the modern world? Women who think we can have it all and do it all? Are we expecting too much of ourselves? Morning are not good for me either i think its the anticipation and dread of another difficult day to get through and all the things you used to do but are fearful of doing now, and patience with getting well is hardest of all!
Penguin, i feel for you Seroxat has the worst withdrawal effects of all ive heard so dont be too hard on yourself, and dont give up your dream of kids do some research and see what alternatives there are out there x x
Oncewassupergirl, you said it perfectly. I guess we need to stop expecting so much from ourselves. 2 of my 5 kids are my step children. Their mom passed away 4 yrs ago so not only do I have the stress of being a step mom but now I have the role of the only mom they have and it's been an uphill mental struggle since day one. Somedays I don't think I can handle it anymore and want to just run away. Iv got troubles and now with this panic/anxiety disorder, my life just feels upside down. I wish I had the answers and I wish it could be easier. God only gives us what we can handle, right?!! I hope that's true.
OncewasSupergirl
17-01-13, 17:07
Yeah i hope thats true too. I thinks its a very admirable thing to take on step-children and especially as they have lost their Mum...thats hard all round n a very big responsibilty for you to take on so dont be too hard on yourself that your having difficulties now. I think when you have always coped really well then you find one day you cant that its a big shock and all you want is to go back to being the person who could cope with it all. But anxiety is often caused by extreme stress and is a wake up call that you have put too much on yourself x
I'm feeling very low today, crying, just trying to occupy my mind with something other than the thought of laundry, cleaning and kids. I need a project. I feel like I keep complaining about the same things and it makes me sound hopeless. I just want to be better and I don't understand why I'm not! It's so frustrating and I'm so mad about it! I think I may call my pdoc today and ask him for some advice. I go from panic to depression in a second and I can't deal with it anymore. It's exhausting me!! What I need is a prescription for time off, time to myself..alone.
Princess2206
17-01-13, 18:12
Hi Ocean:) looks like you have bad day too:weep: it must be something in the air today :weep: it must be so hard to take care of children if you don't feel well. I can't even imagine how I would cope. Don't worry about laundry and cleaning it can wait. You put to much pressure on yourself and it makes you feel worse. I know easy to say... We will be better but it takes time and we have to be patient. I am angry as well that it takes so long. The mood swings are terrible and I really understand how you feel .... Big Hugs xxx
Thank you princess. Big hugs to you too. :hugs: Patience, patience, patience...ughhhhhh!!!
Ocean you are Supermum to them, don't worry about everthing that needs doing while you feel like you do they just love you for you, you do so well to do what you do so don't beat yourself up.
Supergirl same with you in your sons eyes you are Supermum no matter what.
You are all doing so well, I have 3 boys, well men now but when they were growing up and i was ill somehow you manage but I don't know how I would have managed with all this if it had happened then.
You will all get better and like Princess says it is patience.
xxxx
OncewasSupergirl
17-01-13, 19:44
Patience is definitely the hardest thing....we all just need to hang in there n keep talking n better days will come :) x x
Well I can talk and talk and talk..today sucked plain and simple. I feel tired and just not myself all day, ALL DAY! I know that we have "blips" every now and then but I don't like them and they need to stop. If i begin to feel anxious..i worry, if i begin to feel depressed..i worry, if i feel sick to my stomach..i worry. its a never ending cycle of hell. One good day would lift my spirits. Please dear god, let tomorrow be a better day. I'm wondering if my fatigue could be the beginning of PMS? Hmmm, I guess that'd make sense but it still doesn't make me feel any better. If I don't feel good tomorrow, I'm calling the doctor. :mad:
OncewasSupergirl
17-01-13, 22:21
Ocean, I really wish there was something I could say to make it better but I know there isn't :( You have just had a really bad day somedays its definitely worse than others n I know that awful feeling well of worrying about every little thing that's exhausting in itself.
If you feel you need to call the dr tomorrow do it, do you have any benzo's to take the edge off for now? Will you sleep? I'm not sure what the time difference is its nearly bedtime here? X
So sorry Ocean, hopefully tomorrow will be better, how many times do we say that to each other just to keep us going, we really hope it is for each other. I am now off to bed as I have splitting headache and am tired from not sleeping last night.
Lets hope we all have a better day tomorrow, at least we are all in this together and understand.
Big Hugs xxxx
I'm feeling a bit better now. I take my benzo in the morning at night .5 of klonopin. My husband should be home soon and that always brings me comfort. I should be able to sleep well (I hope). Thank you everyone for your encouragement. I'll post tomorrow and I hope it's a good day for all of us. :hugs:
Maddis mum
18-01-13, 05:41
Hi all, how are you feeling today? I had a average day. My hands are still shaking a lot. Does anyone else have this? And I have the nervous feeling all day long like something is about to happen.
Penguin my anxiety and depression started after I had my son so I was not on anything before. But I am in a postnatal depression group and a lot of them are on medication through their pregnancy. I believe prozac is one of the safer ones to stay on. Lexapro is not safe.
Super girl I think you are right. Modern world demands so much of us. We are expected to do it all. I think we take on to much and ten we just break. Awarding that we need to scale back a bit. Just sucks that we got hit so hard.
---------- Post added at 16:38 ---------- Previous post was at 16:34 ----------
Ocean I keep telling myself that. God only gives us what we can handle and that he must be shaping me from a rock into a diamond because he sure is pushing me to my limit. I have step children also but they don't live with us. It's a really tough job taking on someone else's children. You are amazing.
What dose are you on ocean? Is this week 6 or something for you? Maybe you need an increase?
---------- Post added at 16:41 ---------- Previous post was at 16:38 ----------
Ocean I also do what you do I worry all day along about how I am feeling. When will the anxiety strike? When will the tears flow? When will I feel depressed? When will I ever get well? I have been fighting this for over a year now. Tried 2 other medications and they didnt work so now last try is prozac. I just don't know what I will do if prozac doesn't work.
OncewasSupergirl
18-01-13, 09:43
Kim, my first anxiety/depression episode was after i had my son, its quite common for it to happen, its good your part of a postnatal depression group there was nt anything like that when i had it. Ive been on Lofepramine x2 before although im not sure it worked that well. I tried Sertraline once but it was a horrible experience and didnt agree with me and before xmas i was Trimipramine but i felt it just made me more tired all the time cos it sedative. Day 15 for me today and ive seen some improvement i actually slept for 5 hours without waking last night and ive got a few things done this morning i really dislike the mornings alone when my son has gone to school though :/
Ocean, hoping for a better day for you today :) x x
Good morning all it's 7:20am over here on the eastern side of the States. I woke a little while ago, don't feel anxious but still feel like I have a black cloud of anxiety drifting above my head. I'm gonna try very hard today to not let it get to me. I have high hopes of going to my moms today with the twins. I used to just get up and go so to feel like going to my moms is an accomplishment, feels very strange.
Maddismum, iv been on Prozac for 11 almost 12 weeks! I started at 10mg and now iv been on 20mg for 7 weeks, maybe it's 8 now, I lost track. In the past 4 months, iv tried Zoloft and Lexapro, both just made me worse so now I'm on Fluoxetine and even tho the side effects have been troublesome, I have not had a major set back since starting (fingers crossed!) I'm beginning to wonder if I need to increase my dose, mornings from 9am til about noon or 1:00pm are the worst time of day. I'm not sure why. I take .5mg of klonopin (benzo) in the morning and another before bed. My pdoc and counselor insist I take it to break the anxiety cycle. It's been a lifesaver but I want to reach the point where I only take them for emergencies. I pray that the prozac works as well because I don't want to start over with something new, I don't know if I could handle it. So I'm going to keep my thoughts positive today, leave the house and hope for the best. I pray everyone has a good day or is having a good day today :hugs:
Maddis mum
18-01-13, 12:50
Super girl I was shocked to realise how many women get depression after the birth of a baby but. No one really talks about it. That's good you got some decent sleep. The prozac still keeps me awake.
Ocean the mornings are the worst for me also and I used to improve and go to bed feeling normal but since prozac I sometimes feel terrible all day. I guess I am still getting used to it. You have been on it a while now. I hope it keeps improving for you.
Princess2206
18-01-13, 13:05
Yes the main thing is to stay positive but is so difficult sometimes. You girls are so strong to be able to care for your kids the same time. I am worry now I will never have kids on myself :weep: it must be so difficult.
Maddis mum
18-01-13, 13:11
Princess you will get well and this will just be a memory. You will be a stronger person and you will have children if that is what you want. :hugs:
Princess, you will get better, we all will get better. If you want children don't be afraid to do so. Just give yourself some time, like Maddis mum said..this will all be a memory. We just need to learn to be stronger and overcome. Don't be afraid to have children, most times my kids are the brightest points of my day.
Yes Princess if you want them you go for it, mine are grown up now but I love them to pieces and loved every minute of them growing up, they are amazing thoughtful young men, and now I feel like I have two daughters as Sam is getting married to Katie in August, Gem lives here with Tom and is lovely and I just need to get Ben sorted, he is the one always gets his heart broken. xxx
Princess im in the same boat and feel I will never be able to have children. But you have to stay positive!!
OncewasSupergirl
18-01-13, 19:02
Everything will seem more possible when you are well....everytime ive been ill like this ive thought really negatively but when the illness lifts you start to see things more rationally :) have hope x x:)
It's 2:20pm over here and iv spent the morning and afternoon with my mom, took her for bloodwork, went shopping and had lunch, while my sister took care of my twins. It's been the most "normal" iv felt in a long time. I think the best therapy for me and for maybe all of us is to get out as much as possible, change our scenery a bit. I'm looking forward to a calm evening as well. Maybe even be able to watch some tv without freaking out. So I guess I can say that today has been a good day so far and I'm gonna try like heck not to let anything bring me down.:)
Good news Ocean, it is so good to feel normal when you have had a few bad days, sometimes if you are able to get out it does help.
Hope you do have a calm evening.
xxx
Maddis mum
19-01-13, 06:28
Hi all, just wishing you all a good day ahead. My day was mixed. Crying, depressed and then felt better but now anxious about making dinner.
OncewasSupergirl
19-01-13, 11:51
Glad to hear you had a good day Ocean, gives you hope :)
Kim, better days to come for you hopefully :) hang in there x x
It's 9:00am over here and iv been awake for a little while, no anxiety yet. Day 78 on Fluoxetine, day 55 at 20mg. 2 days in a row with out anxiety would be awesome! I'm gonna stay positive. Someone said to me yesterday that eventually our minds will get bored of the constant thoughts of anxiety and the anxiety will eventually stop. I hope that's true because I am def bored with all this anxiety crap. Time to move on out of my head!!! I'm gonna head out with the kids and go to my moms, that distraction seems to help me. Otherwise, I'd probly just sit in my room all day when Im done cleaning. I'll post again later and hope it's a good post that my day was good. Hope everyone is having a good day today :)
---------- Post added at 09:16 ---------- Previous post was at 09:14 ----------
Hi Maddis mum, how are you feeling?? Just wondering how many kids do you have?
Princess2206
19-01-13, 14:21
Hi Ocean:) I am glad you feel better. This is my 41st day and since last evening I have really bad time. Feel so anxues and nervous. I though that by now I will feel much better. I had no bad week 5 when I thought I am progressing but this week is terrible especially since last evening. I guess I am not lucky one. Why they are so slow?! I hope you feel good all day. :hugs:
Princess, you're not one of the unlucky ones, we're all in this together. We have some good days and the bad ones just make us feel hopeless. We need to let more time pass and we will get better. It's like you said it's just SO SLOW!! Keep positive thoughts, if you feel anxious take your diazepam, break the anxiety. Take it for a few days, see if that helps. (Just my opinion, I'm obviously not a doctor) but it helps me to take the benzo regularly until the Fluoxetine has fully kicked in. I don't know what your doctor tells you but mine reassures me that I won't get addicted to the benzo, it's such a low dose and to just take it, don't be afraid of it. I hope your day improves and I wish there was more I could do to help...all of us. Stay strong!! And don't be afraid to take your diazepam if you need too. You'll feel better. :hugs:
OncewasSupergirl
19-01-13, 18:38
Hi Ocean, hows it going? Still having a good day with less anxiety? i really hope so :D xx
Hello oncewassupergirl, I'm still feeling ok, no anxiety but a little bit sleepy. I'm visiting my in laws and my husband is with me for the weekend so I hope it remains good. How are you feeling?
OncewasSupergirl
19-01-13, 20:26
I'm ok thanks :) have been on my own all day and was worried what I'd be like but to be honest apart from a little boredom, I've been pretty anxiety free! We have bad snow here, so not really safe to drive, been out for a walk earlier to break up the monotomy. Hope tomorrow is a success for you too :) x x
Maddis mum
20-01-13, 02:12
Hi all, as usual i am awake when you are all asleep lol. Today has been a better day for me. No crying. I still have the shakes and the nervous fear all day long but not as bad as usual. Still no appetite. Day 36 for me.
Ocean i have 2 children. 4yr and 2yr. My depression and anxiety hit after my 2yr old was born but only got extreme in the last 15mths. Full break down. Still trying to find a med that works but i have a lot of hope for prozac.
Princess this is a slow process. Its so horrid.
---------- Post added at 13:12 ---------- Previous post was at 13:12 ----------
Supergirl glad you got out of the house. Thats a big step.
Princess2206
20-01-13, 11:09
We have some snow here as well. Went for walk ( first time in weeks) with my boyfriend and was lovely. I was out for 1h:) i felt really good after. How are you Today Supergirl? xxx
OncewasSupergirl
20-01-13, 12:47
Princess, i replied on your thread x
---------- Post added at 12:47 ---------- Previous post was at 11:25 ----------
How are you Ocean? x
I'm hanging in, no real anxiety. It's a struggle to keep my mind on other things but I think I'm getting better at it. I'm taking the benzo in the morning and that keeps me pretty calm throughout the day and then I take another one before bed. I guess the combination of the benzo and prozac is keeping the anxiety at bay. I still feel like there's something just not right. The prozac should have my anxiety under control by now with out having to take something else. I can't wait to see the doctor and get some answers. I def am better than I was but just not as well as I hoped I'd be by now. As usual I'm hoping and praying for a good day. I hope you have a good day as well.
OncewasSupergirl
20-01-13, 15:47
When are you next seeing the Dr? Its so hard cos it seems to work at different rates in different people. Having a bit of a flat day today to be honest. Last few days i was beginning to feel normal ish then today i feel unsettled :/ will just have to ride it out i guess. When did you start the Prozac? x x
I started the prozac 11wks ago, 3 wks at 10mg and now 7 almost 8 wks at 20mg. I think it may be time to up my dose a little bit. I go back to my doc at the end of the month so we'll see what he says. Today has been fairly normal so far but it's because I take the klonopin and I don't want to be dependent on that. Such a mental struggle. We just have to keep pushing through and it will get better. Pretty soon it all just be a bad memory.
OncewasSupergirl
20-01-13, 17:15
Hanging in there Ocean :) x x
Princess2206
21-01-13, 12:52
Hi Ocean:) how are you today? I hope you feel good. I just started week 7 today and don't feel good at all:(
Good morning everyone. It's 8:00 am over here. 80 days on Fluoxetine and 57 days at 20mg, almost have reached week 8 at 20mg. I feel ok this morning, I didn't wake up anxious. Honestly...I think the only thing helping me at this point is the klonopin which I take .5 at night and .5 in the morning. I feel good throughout most of the day. Princess, do you take a benzo to help get through the day?
---------- Post added at 08:06 ---------- Previous post was at 08:03 ----------
No school today and very cold over here so I'm gonna bring the kids to my moms and spend some time over there. My sister lives there so I like to go there to have some adult time with my mom and sister, it keeps my mind focused on other things.
---------- Post added at 08:12 ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 ----------
Princess, what are your symptoms? Is it anxiety? Depression? Which I had all of that at the beginning of wk 7 as well. I wish I had the answer to help with these horrible feelings.
Princess2206
21-01-13, 13:13
Hi Ocean, I do have diazepam at home and I think I should take one today as I am shanking terribly and feeling nervous. I used to take them quiet offen in week 1 -3 but not now. I am really tired of this emotional rollercoaster. I start to have this horrible thoughts that I never going to feel better again.
Princess, yes!! Take the diazepam. And as the Fluoxetine settles into our system we'll need the benzos less and less. The doctors prescribe them to us to break the anxiety. If you don't feel comfortable taking them then call your doctor, let him reassure you. Don't suffer, if you take what's prescribed, it helps!! Let me know how you feel throughout the day. BIG :hugs:
---------- Post added at 08:25 ---------- Previous post was at 08:22 ----------
And you need to stop the thought process that you're never going to feel better (easier said than done. I know cuz I still think that sometimes) we need to tell ourselves that we WILL get better, we need to be patient, let time pass.
Princess2206
21-01-13, 14:00
Thank you Ocean:) I just wish I don't have to use them anymore:/ I think we are all very inpatient now. It just takes so long. I feel like I am wasting my days.
I agree. I don't want to have to take them either. And I'm trying hard not to waste my days just laying around. I just get up and push myself to go. I have to.
OncewasSupergirl
21-01-13, 17:09
Hello girls....sounds like your having a hard day Princess, if you took a diazepam do you think that would help you out in the day to get out of the house? I think you need a change of scene i know its hard but even when the Fluox kicks in it wont take all the anxiety away, to a certain extent you have to learn to live with it and accept it. I know you wont want to hear that but its the truth...it will help you cope with it better but it wont disappear. I think you need to get yourself some good books on anxiety so you can understand it better and work from there. I hope you wont think im being ho rrible, im really not, just experience for me has always been you need to start to face it and accept and try and work out how to move on. I bought a diary today so i can write down my thoughts,feelings etc so i can follow my improvement...its worked for me before. I went out for a walk with my son ended up being 3 1/2 hours...i am aching but feel happier. Just made spaghetti bolognese for tea. Mornings are still hard for me, really dont want to get up n face the day but you have to or nothing will change...if you have a plan for the day that helps. x x
Good advice Supergirl. I've been writing in a journal for weeks now, it's a release for me. Iv read some anxiety books and I try to do what they say but it is hard. I'm learning acceptance, that I'll always have a worried mind, I just need to learn to deal with it better. I'm getting there. I get out as often as possible. I'm looking forward to spring so we can all get outside and not be cooped up in the house.
How are you feeling now Princess??
Princess2206
21-01-13, 19:12
Thinks Supergirl and Ocean. I feel a little better now. Every day I have such a rollercoaster. Diary is a great idea. I am looking for better weather too. It has been snowing and is very windy all day here. I hope very soon I will feel strong so I can plan my days. I tried to do it but it made more anxues and was crying all days becouse I couldn't do what I planned. But I know I can't live like this for too long and really wish for better days. I hope you have nice evening. xxx
OncewasSupergirl
21-01-13, 21:38
Ocean, acceptance is really difficult to master but it is possible, i did it once before, however unless you truly accept you are always gonna be frightened so its the only way to go ive found...not a nice thought but it brings freedom when you master it :)
Princess, tomorrow i think you should take some diazepam n walk to your local shop or just anywhere...you can do it getting started is the hardest of all. I make myself go out everyday n its the thought of going out which is worse than the being out i find x x
Maddis mum
22-01-13, 03:25
Hi girls, how are you all feeling today? I hope you all got some sleep.
Ania Hun take the diazepam. It's only till the prozac kicks on. I think your doc needs to up your dose.
Hello Maddis mum, I'm feeling pretty good this morning, no anxiety, no obsessive thinking and iv been eating like a horse so my appetite is def back and I'm hoping I put back on a few of the pounds I lost. I believe the klonopin broke my anxiety cycle but now I'm afraid if I stop taking it abruptly, the anxiety will come back. I guess I'll continue to take it until I see my pdoc next week and see what he suggests. I feel so much better than I did even a wk ago (I hope I didn't jinx myself!!) I'm praying today is another good day or should I say somewhat normal day, today will make day 3 of feeling close to old self. I hope everyone is well today and has an anxiety free day! :hugs:
OncewasSupergirl
22-01-13, 16:33
Good to hear your having a good day Ocean...im a bit anxious today but only cos im worried bout calling the drs tomorrow n having to argue for a sicknote :mad:
What dose are you on by the way? Such a slow process but we are all getting there i think :) x x
Hi Ocean, good news that you have had 3 good days, I hope it lasts for you, when I started to have good days it felt so so good but for quite a while I was waiting for that blip to come and yes I have had days when I don't feel well but we all have those normally so it is a great feeling to feel you again when it happens.
xxx
Princess, I have been prescribed diazepam for the past 6 weeks and been scared of being addicted. I like you would only take them when I was bad but they do take a little while to get in the system. I am now only on 1mg in the morning and slowly getting back to normal. The doctors will only prescribe until the fluox kicks in. Dont give up one day I just felt I could attempt something new and started to feel better. SMALL GOALS AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!! X
Hope everyone is getting there it does take a while but the light is at the end of the tunnel but when you are in the tunnel you cant see it until it slightly glimmers and then gets brighter. I have been trying different meds for a year and a half now since trying to come off paroxetine and I am starting to feel like my old self. Just hang in there x
Supergirl, I'm 57 days at 20mg. I go back to the pdoc next wk and ask him about upping my dose. I think maybe 30mg would be more beneficial and then maybe i wont have to take the klonopin. It's a very slow process and even though I'm feeling better and hopeful, I'm still scared that it will all come flooding back. One day at a time I guess. It's been another fairly normal day so something must be working :)
Maddis mum
22-01-13, 23:15
I know how you feel ocean, I have a good day but the next day I wake up full of fear as to what the day ahead will bring. I am day 38 now. Praying hard for that light at the end of the tunnel.
It's 7:30pm here and my husband is working late so I'm home alone to get the kids ready and all put to bed. I really dislike the nights he works late. I notice that I feel some anxiety when he's not home at night. I can't wait for that to go away! I always was fine before with him working nights. I just don't want to go backward anymore, only forward only positive thoughts. I don't want to fear or be scared anymore that I'll have another breakdown. I just want to live my life being happy and as calm as possible.
---------- Post added at 19:38 ---------- Previous post was at 19:36 ----------
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?! I'm feeling very discouraged right now, I have to snap out of it!!
Maddis mum
23-01-13, 00:50
The is light ocean. We will get there. It's just a slow process. My husband said to me that you didn't get sick overnight. It would have been months or even years of stress etc that brought us to the breakdown so we can't expect to be healed overnight. It just sucks. My husband sometimes works night shift so on those weeks I notice my anxiety is much higher when I am alone with the kids. The fear is horrible but as the others who have been through this have said it does get better and we will be happy again. Just keep holding on. You will increase your med and I am sure you will start to see a improvement.
My story is long, what made me the way I am today has been over the course of many yrs. so i can understand what you're husband means. I have not suffered any major losses other than the loss of my father 4 yrs ago but that on top of many other things within the past 5 yrs have broken my spirit and has caused me so much anxiety. I tell myself that I have many blessings and that I should be happy, but I'm not and there's no easy fix or any fix at all for my reasons of unhappiness. Any way before I get too personal and sappy, I should stop. It's just nice to have this release and be able to vent a little.
Good morning everyone. Woke up ok today but still have the fear hanging over my head especially since I felt a little dizzy last night. Anything out of the norm worries me and makes me nervous, I need to break that habit of thinking. I didn't sleep that well last night but I'm still hopeful that today will be a good day. It's freezing over here, can't even go outside for a walk, so maybe I'll head over to my moms, maybe do a little shopping. Praying its a good day for all of us :)
Princess2206
23-01-13, 13:10
Hi Ocean:) I hope we all have peaceful day too :) my doctor appointment has been cancelled today so next one is on Friday morning. It is cold today in here as well but I don't drive so I am stuck at home. I will call my mum for a chat. Have a lovely day:)
Does anyone take a multi vitamin while on the fluoxetine? I'm wondering if I should start taking a vitamin for energy but as usual, I question if its gonna cause weird side effects.
Hi Ocean, just caught up with your posts, even now after feeling good for a number of weeks, any little twinge I think it is all going to come back, i know it isn't but I think it will take time for that feeling to go and Kim's hubby is right we were getting ill for a long time before we realised and it will take time to get better and then completely better.
in answer to your question, I read that magnessium is good to take for energy and I have ben taken one that also has vitamin B in it since mid September, I just take one a day in the morning, I have had no side effects at all, I cannot say if it is doing any
good but am going to keep on taking it, everyone around me has had colds etc and I have not caught them so I am going to keep on taking them in case it is those that are helping.
Hope you are having a good day. xxx
Hello Janine, my day has been ok so far. I felt a little sad this morning, shed a few tears (don't know why, maybe just tired). Very lazy day for me, don't feel like doing anything, I wish I can take a nap! Iv been laying around for most of the day. I hate saying thy cuz it makes me seem so lazy but that's what iv been doing. It's too cold to leave the house and the twins are behaving and playing very quietly so it's been a nice quiet afternoon. I hope the rest of my day stays quiet and calm. How are you feeling today???
Ocean don't worry about having a lazy day it is your body telling you to rest, if I have learnt anything from all this it is to stop rushing around and to find time to relax, it is hard because you feel so guilty but we have to look after ouselves sometimes, we all feel sad sometimes and there is not always a reason, just go with it and think hopefully you won't be tomorrow, its lovely when children play together and it is peaceful, I remember it well.
It is cold here and where I work is a very old building and I have just done 5 days in the freezing cold, off tomorrow so catching up in the house and taking my cocker spainiels for their yearly checkup and injection.
xxx
OncewasSupergirl
23-01-13, 21:04
Hi Janine n Ocean,
Im the queen of vitamin taking i take a multi-vitamin, vit B6, Omega 3 capsules, evening primrose capsules and valerian to try n help me sleep plus effervescent vit c and zinc everyday so please dont worry about taking them they may give you a boost, but i know what its like when you worry about every little thing i have days like that too :/ Im on day 21 so 3 weeks tomorrow, had a very busy day n still suffering side effects, teeth clenching which gives me a headache still sleeping badly n today i notice im twitching! Really thought i was over the worst side effects but seems not :/ however am going out everyday n have felt better at times so theres improvement. What dose did you take Janine? x x
I am on 20mg, when I was going through the side effects I would have days when I could get to work, hard to get through but i did it but some days I couldn't, it seemed to come in waves so i might be okish for 2 or 3 days and then be really really bad for a few day, week 4 to five and half was particularly tough, but suddenly I started to feel better and have stayed that way mostly. xxx
OncewasSupergirl
23-01-13, 21:16
Thanks Janine, thats reassured me, you just get so impatient for the good days to last but its unrealistic at the start n im only on week 3 just. Thanks for answering all the questions it really helps us all. I know what you mean about worrying it will come back thats happened to me before but it does go away eventually...everything just takes time :) x x
It's so great to have you ladies on here for reassurance. Thanks Supergirl for the advice on the vitamins, I won't be so scared now to take them. And thank you Janine for your kind words, they make me feel so much better and not guilty, which guilty is how I feel most of the time. I'm almost at 8wks at 20mg. I can feel some improvements but also know iv still got a ways to go before I'm back to myself. I'm thinking of asking the doctor to up my dose of the fluoxetine so I can slowly come off of the klonopin. My constant anxiety is nearly gone, I just feel tired and sometimes a bit shaky. I'm not as scared as I used to be of every little twinge so I know I'm slowly getting somewhere. Keep posting Supergirl on your progress, I hope the side effects don't act up and you're able to feel good. Thanks again ladies. You've all been very supportive!!
OncewasSupergirl
23-01-13, 22:19
Honestly Ocean dont worry about the vits my sis laughs n says i must rattle the amount of pills i take but i think they work so i take them. How do you sleep now on nearly week 8? Drives me bonkers not sleeping properly oh how i wish for a decent,uninterrupted sleep! The guilt thing is so common when feeling like this i feel guilty cos im not happy...a burden on people, not a good enough Mum when like this the list goes on...However generally people end up like this from doing too much, too much stress not enough relax..i certainly know this is true for me so months of stress result in months of illness which results in months of us trying to get well...n trying to learn the lesson to not do it again. I read somewhere depression, anxiety and panic attacks are not a sign of weakness there a sign of being too strong for too long...so keep that in mind! I think maybe an increase to 30 maybe a good idea so you can come off the klonopin sure your dr will advise you though. I hope we all keep posting its good to hear from people who understand what its really like n a life line at a hard time x x
My sleep for the most part is ok, some nights I sleep great, other nights I may wake up a few times and look at the clock but iv always done that. I take a .5 klonopin before bed to help to relax and fall asleep. The doctor initially gave me ambien to take before bed but I refused to take it, iv heard awful things from people who took that. Sleep is what we need the most to heal and get better. Our minds need that time to rest peacefully. Do you take anything to help you sleep?
OncewasSupergirl
23-01-13, 22:34
The longest ive slept since i started the fluox is 5 hours straight...honestly i can sleep for hours usually i find it so distressing but im trying not to stress about it cos it makes it worse and i know i will sleep well again eventually....patience is not something we have when like this though!
I take valerian capsules they are from a health shop all natural ingredients ive taken them for years i also drink herbal tea before bed usually camomile or something calming....i sound like n old hippy haha! x x
You will both get to the light at the end of the tunnel it just takes time, I stay on here because it is still so vivid in my mind how bad I felt before I went on the meds and for the horrible nearly six weeks of the side effects, also it helps me knowing I have support to stay like I am or if I have off days again. xxx
OncewasSupergirl
24-01-13, 09:57
Yes support is very important Janine especially from people who understand, im on 20 mg n ive seen improvement so im hoping thats enough...however i see posts from people increasing n then i get anxious n think i need to aswell...which is stupid as they are further ahead of me! The anxious mind is so powerful at times though :mad:.
Day 22...so just 3 weeks in x x
Maddis mum
24-01-13, 10:07
janine you are keeping us all going right now. xo
Supergirl yes dont worry about doing a increase unless you are not seeing improvements by atleast 4-6 weeks. My Dr had me wait 4 weeks but i know others mostly wait to 6 weeks before increasing.For me it seemed the right thing to do because i think i was having bad withdrawal from the lexapro cross over.
---------- Post added at 21:07 ---------- Previous post was at 21:05 ----------
supergirl have you found the evening primrose oil helps at all and if so what for? I have been wondering about it for a while. some say it helps hormones?
OncewasSupergirl
24-01-13, 10:08
Thanks Kim, you know how it is though you worry about every little thing! Have you ever read threads that make you feel worse? Mostly posts from people who are really struggling n desperate? Ive scared myself silly at times :doh: x x
Maddis mum
24-01-13, 10:17
oh yes for sure. i have read stuff on other sites that has freaked me out. So now NMP is the only site i go on so i can gain strength from you girls. I have to keep reminding myself that people usually only post bad stuff. Not the good because they are out enjoying life. Thats why i am so glad people like Janine stick around to give hope and encouragement even after they are well. xoxo
Princess2206
24-01-13, 10:33
It took my 5 days to actually start to take fluoxetine becouse I read posts on another forums and they scared me so so much. But that is true people posting usually only when feel worse. And people like Janine is great help. :) and also have a chat with you girls is amazing :)
I have only ever come onto this forum and the one thing that helped was reading the success posts, yes there are some when it does not work for some people but they are outweighed by positive posts, since I found this in September I have seen so many come and then go because they feel better so don't need it anymore and that is encouraging, I wanted to stay to give back and also because it does help me too.
Supergirl don't worry about increasing, I am on 20mg and did not have to go up, it is the normal dose but some people need more like Kim for the reasons she gave, it is too early yet to make that decision.
I like chatting with you girls too xxxx
OncewasSupergirl
24-01-13, 11:01
Kim, yes i take evening primrose for hormones ive also started vit B6 as its for womens health and the nervous system...ive been taking the evening primrose for years though. Omega 3 is good for brain function n mood ive taken that for a few years too...im a right little health freak when it comes to supplements.
Ive taken to being very careful what i read now cos the post from people really having a hard time seem to affect me...we all just need to stick together :) x x
---------- Post added at 11:01 ---------- Previous post was at 10:59 ----------
Thanks Janine,
Just one of those silly irrational thoughts i have...i feel ive made progress so far so no need to increase yet at all :) x x
In the beginning all I did was read about side effects and horror stories! My husband had to keep checking my phone to make sure I wasn't reading anymore. Iv since stopped and like Maddis mum, I only read posts on here and I also think that Janine is great for sticking with us. I believe the support on here has helped me more than any of the 10 books iv read on anxiety and panic. Feeling good today. I hope everyone else is too!! BIG :hugs:
Great you are having another good day Ocean, I agree about the support it helped me so much through some very dark days. xxx
OncewasSupergirl
24-01-13, 17:37
Good to hear your having a good day Ocean...my morning was iffy not so bad last few hours...post soon x x
Maddis mum
24-01-13, 22:16
Hi girls, well it's a new day for me and have woken again with high nervous energy. It's so annoying and sets my day off badly. Not sure what he day ahead holds. Will check in later when you wake up lol
It's 6:30pm here and it's been a normal day for me. I was at my moms for most of the day visiting with my sisters and baby nephew, he makes me happy :) and then my sister and I went grocery shopping. I didn't feel anxious at all today but I'm very tired now. Ready for all of us to go to bed. I'm still taking the .5 klonopin in the morning and at night so I think that's what's contributing to my good days. I'm nervous about having to come off of it and falling apart. I can't wait to see the doctor next wk and get it all straightened out. I like these days of feeling normal. I don't want to feel anxiety or panic anymore. I'm not gonna think about it or worry. I'm just gonna wait and see what the doctor says.
Maddis mum
24-01-13, 23:44
Ocean I am so glad you had a calm day. Do you happen to recall what week was the worst for you with side effects?
Hmmm, I had to look back in my journal to kinda figure out the worst of it. Today is exactly week 8 on the 20mg of fluoxetine. My last actual feeling of panic was on the night of Jan 14th. So I guess week 6/7 was a little rough for me. Iv had about 4-5 good days in a row now. Before I started the fluoxetine and klonopin (which is very similar to Valium) I was in a constant state of panic and anxiety, it was a complete nightmare. Iv come so far that when I think back and I can hardly believe it. When I saw my pdoc around wk 5 on the fluoxetine, he told me that I wasn't utilizing the klonopin enough. He wanted me to take it to break the anxiety. I was cutting them in halves even quarters cuz I was afraid. Well, the past wk iv been taking my full dose which is only .5mg I the mornings and at night and I believe it has finally broke my anxiety cycle. I go back to see him next wk, I'm gonna ask to up my dose of the fluoxetine and stay on the klonopin for a little bit longer to prevent side effects from the dose increase. My advice is...if you're prescribed a benzo to stop the anxiety then take it! There's no need to suffer and soon we won't have to take them anymore. They'll be just for emergencies. And your doctor is there for you so call whenever you are worried about something.
Hello everyone, I hope all of you are having a good day today. My day so far has been good, it's still early but I don't anticipate any bad moments. Just checking in on everyone.
OncewasSupergirl
25-01-13, 16:44
Hi Ocean, glad to hear your having a good day....my day has been pretty good today so far too :) most encouraging! x x
Maddis mum
26-01-13, 00:12
Ocean that is great news. Hi everyone else :)
Ocean you may have already told us but do you recall what your side effects were? And when they started to go away? 6 weeks tomorrow for me and i still have shaking hands, no appetite, nervous fear all day and waking with adrenalin feeling. I just wonder if they will ever stop?
My side effects were...morning anxiety, sick to my stomach, shaky, no appetite (i have lost about 15lbs since sept when it all began) depression, feeling very low some days and I had a constant fear that I was going to have a breakdown. I still have that fear but not as bad. My appetite has come back and iv probly put on a few pounds in the past 2wks, thank god cuz I was getting nervous with how small I looked. But like iv said the combination of prozac with the klonopin has what's gotten me this far. Do you or all of you go to therapy as well? I go every two wks but I'm not sure if its very beneficial or not. She tells me to meditate. I can't even pee without a kid at the door let alone sit alone in a quiet dark space and meditate for 20mins when I begin to feel anxious. It's just not very realistic for me. I'm feeling better but I still go to bed every night praying that I don't wake up in anxiety hell. We're all getting there, we have to continue pushing through and be patient. (Easier said than done, sucks)
---------- Post added at 20:08 ---------- Previous post was at 20:04 ----------
Maddis mum, have you had any good days? Days where you don't feel nervous or shaky?
Maddis mum
26-01-13, 01:14
That made me laugh. Can't even pee on your own. I know how that feels I do t think I have had a shower or peed with the door shut for about 4 years now lol yes I have been told to sit quietly for half hour and breath. Yeah right. . . . I do see a therapist but I don't think it's very helpful at all. Infact sometimes I come away feeling worse. I ordered one of Clair weeks books so just waiting on that to arrive. Ocean do you feel that it's only been the last week or so that you have turned a corner?
---------- Post added at 12:14 ---------- Previous post was at 12:12 ----------
Ocean I felt ok the first 2 weeks and the. From there it has been nervous, agitated, fear etc the last 4 weeks but I did have maybe 3 good days in the mix. But the bad days are far far outweighing the good yet.
Hi both, I was just reading this whilst I had a cup to coffe before facing the freezing cold and go to work,
Kim I think it is going to take a bit longer because of the increase, it is hard as the bad days are still outnumbering the good but it will change, I know it seems to take forever and the days seem so long when you are feeling shaky and agitated but it will subside.
Ocean you are doing well and I think you are coming out the other side, I know it is difficult as you are waiting for that blip to appear again, I think what you have done with the medication has helped, looking back I should have used my diazpan more to get me through the really bad days instead of suffering.
I remember it well when you could not go to the toilet in peace and that was the 3 boys and the dog at the time!!!
Hugs to you both
xxxx
OncewasSupergirl
26-01-13, 10:48
Hi everyone,
Im on day 24 and i still have the bad mornings...nausea, the "fear", rarely shakes anymore though, i sometimes have that fear that i will breakdown again or get worse but i guess its cos its so fresh and real to us. You have to build confidence in yourself again that you can cope before that subsides really. Kim, Claire Weekes book will explain it to you really well which one have you ordered? My copy of her book is so dog-eared...ive used it like a bible over the years its really given me hope at bad times and i was really good at her method once upon a time, then i let the fear back in :scared15: but im back practising it again so there is good hope i will overcome it again.
Ocean, ive worried about my weight too...theres not much of me either but i am eating ok now, quite enjoy my food at times so on the right road at least. I dont ever weigh myself now i just go by how my clothes fit as i find weighing myself adds anxiety x x
Good morning everyone. Day 62 at 20mg fluoxetine. Supergirl, you seem like you're coming along, the mornings are sometimes a little weird for me as well. I just tell myself to get up, too much to do, can't waste time thinking about the what ifs...I think that helps lol
Iv been trying to go over in my head exactly how I'm feeling at this point and I'm reaching the point where I finally feel like I'm gonna be ok, I'm gonna pull through. I wake up in the mornings reminding myself of the things to look forward to that day not the things that brought me so far down and anxious. It's hard, everything is hard, I just have to keep moving. I will continue to pray everyday for good days, patience and strength for myself and all of us. I hope everyone has a great day and keep posting. Your stories and experiences have helped me so much BIG :hugs:
OncewasSupergirl
26-01-13, 15:20
Ocean, im not as far as you but i can relate to that attitude of keep moving thats the one i try n adopt...at this point i feel anxious on/off throughout the day but try n say to myself i can cope n its passing. My friend came over today n she said im much better than xmas which is good to hear...ive had a few positive comments this week. i think we are all drawing much strength from our collective posts...its encouraging x x
Well I drove to my nieces birthday party today 45mins away from my house and then drove back home in the dark. I made it there ok but on the way home I had a bit of a mental struggle with some anxiety, I didn't have a panic attack but I had to be constantly telling myself to calm down, I counted in my head, I pretended I was floating, anything just to get home safely with my 4yr olds in the back seat. I did it, but I'm exhausted now. I guess I'm not ready to drive in the dark yet. I reached home, got inside and cried a bit. I faced a fear and it wasn't as bad as it could've been but I'm in no hurry to do it again for a while. Other than that I had a pretty good day, went to to my sons basket ball game and stayed calm at the birthday party. No one in my family would know by looking at me the fears with in me and how I struggle, (except for the visible weight loss). The struggles get easier or do we just get used to it? I don't know. I feel pretty low right now, I'm gonna try to watch some tv.
Maddis mum
27-01-13, 01:59
Thank you Janine. I think you could be right. I hope that my increase was the reason I have felt increased anxiety the last week. Today is not so bad as usual so hopefully it continues to calm down.
Super I order help and hope for your nerves I think it was called. Does she have a few? Do you know what is the best one? My mornings are still bad also.
Ocean that was so brave to do that drive. There is no way I would attempt that right now. Would you have done that a few weeks ago? I am sorry that you had a cry but you must have been exhausted. Constantly focusing on trying to keep ourselves calm is like running a marathon.
Hi Maddis mum, no I would not have attempted that a few wks ago. I can drive now, I'm just not ready to drive at night. And trying to stay calm is like running a marathon, freakin exhausting!!! I was worried that my fears driving home would set off some anxiety when I got home but it didn't, thank god. I cried a bit and now I just feel tired. I'm so ready for this to be over. How are you feeling today? Anything to look forward to today for you?
Maddis mum
27-01-13, 02:32
Ocean you should be so proud. You did great. I find that crying is actually helpful as it seems to calm the anxiety down.
I just wrote a big essay on princess thread lol
I don't have anything else on today. Church this morning and now home. Kids watching tv and my husband is asleep from working night shift. I feel really tired today.
How are you sleeping? Do you have your appetite? :hugs:
I sleep but never a full night without interruption, either a kid needing me for something or myself just waking up throughout the night for no reason. I take the klonopin before bed, that helps calm my mind. My appetite is back and I'm hungry. I'm putting my weight back on, now I just have to make sure I don't put too much weight back on. I'll have to check out princess' thread. She hasn't posted on here in a while. I hope she's doing ok.
Maddis mum
27-01-13, 03:21
Do you remember when your appetite came back? Did you loose it completely?
Princess is doing ok but her dr told her to increase to 40. I think she will be doing it when she wakes up. Increasing makes everyone anxious I think.
My appetite came back around wk 6. Before that I pretty much lost it completely. I had to force myself to eat and drink. But honestly I still have some days when I have to tell myself to eat something but usually by evening, I'm starving and ready to eat. I'm feeling a little down this morning, I think it was because of last night.
Maddis mum
27-01-13, 12:34
I hope you start to improve. I am sure last night drained you. No wonder you feel low today. Sending hugs :hugs:
OncewasSupergirl
27-01-13, 12:57
Ocean, driving in the dark was a great achievement, i know you feel deflated now but it was a n achievement nonetheless.
I had an ok ish morning but i feel very unreal n detached now just had an anxiety attack n it frightened me...i hate that being scared of yourself...when your well you look back n think how ridiculous!
Kim, i think all of Claire Weekes books are similar..i only have one copy i stumbled across it in a charity shop when i had PND n it really helped...ill be interested to hear what you think of it...x x
Good morning everyone, it's 7:15 am here, just woke up and feel ok. Day 64 on fluoxetine 20mg. I'm still not feeling like I think I should feel (if that makes sense). I'm scared to up my dose but I think that's what my pdoc will probly do on wed and if it's gonna help me get to where I feel myself again then I should not fear and trust what he says. Too much fear, I need to stop the fear! How??? Someone please give me some good advice on how to stop the obsessive thinking of fear. I'm doing good and I want to stay good and continue to get better. On a lighter note..not much planned today, it's gonna snow and sleet here with some freezing rain, early dismissal for the kids so I won't be going anywhere. Maybe I'll make some valentine cupcakes. :)
Maddis mum
28-01-13, 13:00
Hi ocean, we are having huge storms here right now and my Internet keeps dropping out. Phone lines must be down. I have struggled to get on nmp so if I vanish you know why. I wish I had a answer for you. I signed up for cbt on line through nmp to hopefully be able to stop my obsessive thoughts. They really suck.
Cupcakes sound fun and yummy. I used to love to bake but haven't for a while. This depression and anxiety sucked all th joy right out of it.
I hope you have a great day and can relax x x x
I hope you guys stay safe and the storms pass quickly. I'll be thinking of you. We have snow and ice coming today, shouldn't be too bad tho. I hope you and all of us stay calm and relaxed :)
Princess2206
28-01-13, 15:07
Hi Girls:) we have very heavy wind just now in here and rain. Nice to be in worm house. I had my friend visiting me with her little daughter this afternoon which was nice. Second day on 40mg of fluoxetine and I have horrible heartburn:weep: I never suffer heartburns so I feel a bit scared. Usually side effects making me feel very stressed and panicky. I so don't like to feel like this! It is awful. :weep:
Hi princess, I'm not at 40mg...yet but iv also noticed heartburn recently, I didn't know that was a side effect. Iv never had heartburn before either. I'm a little unmotivated today, headache and just wanna lay around. I hate days like this. I was fine this morning but now I'm feeling a little low. I just have to get up and start moving, start cleaning, something. I can't wait to see the doctor in a few days.
Princess2206
28-01-13, 15:59
I was on 20mg for 7 weeks and now on 40mg. I hope it will help me. Heartburn is a bit better now. I think I focus on side effects to much but I just can't help it!! So annoying! I feel unmotivated all the time Ocean. I can't remember morning when I get up and actually want to do anything. Evenings are a bit better for few days. I cooked dinner and made salad etc. do you think your doctor will up dose for you as well? xxx
OncewasSupergirl
28-01-13, 16:21
Kim, hope you are ok n storms aren't too bad :/
Princess, I've replied on your thread...can you believe the amount of people following it?! We are so popular generating that much interest!!!
Ocean, I'm having a rubbish day, I'm un-motivated, feel low, got the "fear" that ill never get better the usual rubbish! Re: obsessive worry I haven't found much that works I just try n tell myself I'm being stupid n I'm ok, or I just accept them as thoughts as that's all
they are. As long as you fear your thoughts they will stay a problem when you can see they are just a product of your anxiety they lose their meaning. Its a difficult strategy to master x x Day 26 for me, I need some encouragement x x
Princess, I'm thinking that he'll up my dose so I can slowly get off of the klonopin. Im hoping the increase will make me more stable but I fear the side effects from a dose increase. I go back to the pdoc on wed and I guess we'll see what he says. Iv got a headache at the moment and feeling tired. I hope you have a better rest of your day/night. :)
Thank Supergirl for the advice. I'll just keep telling myself that's there's nothing to fear, it helps.
Ocean if your doctor ups your dose you will get through it and adjust even if you have a few off days again it should help in the long run.
Supergirl I had days when I just could not get motivated but you will again, just do what your body tells you to do. your motivation will gradually come back.
xx
OncewasSupergirl
28-01-13, 19:04
Thanks Janine...just a bit gutted cos despite how hard last week was i was motivated to tackle things, today its like im back at the beginning n scared again n ive lost my positivity :weep: . I know it will come back but its so hard. Worrying about all sorts of stuff, work, never getting better, needing to increase meds you name it im anxious about it! Most disheartening x x
I remember being really bad and then having a few better days before and starting to do a few things again and then I had a run of days where I was so so bad and just laid on the sofa for 3 to 4 days and I was 4 weeks in, I also used to just think this is never going to get better because you feel so desperate, just rest and relax and just wait to feel better again. xxx
OncewasSupergirl
28-01-13, 19:32
Thanks Janine, for answering all the questions, i feel especially silly as ive been here before so i feel i shouldnt need reassurance but its such a horrible experience that sometimes reassurance its gonna end is all you want.
Did you feel physically unwell the first few weeks? I seem to have something wrong with me everyday..generally headache but tonight its cramp,aching legs, upset stomach etc etc lol x x
Good question Supergirl about not feeling physically well...iv had some headaches and some leg cramps/muscle tension as well. I don't know what's a freakin side effect or just normal feelings anymore. Very, very frustrating!!!
Yes all of those!!!! plus, I had a lot of bad migraines, shaky legs, terrible heartburn, could not eat, could not rest in one place for a minute at a time, loads and loads and even if you have been here before it is still dreadful, I would not want to go through it again so you are very brave, even though it is fresh in my mind I think I have forgotten how ill I really felt. xxxx
OncewasSupergirl
28-01-13, 21:07
Thanks for that Janine,
That's made me feel a bit better, seems to be something different everyday, today its been gurgling stomach n cramps n vague headache!
N Ocean your right its hard to know what's side effects n what's normal feelings?! So, annoying x x
Bad Headache all day, just didn't feel good. husband is home so I'm going to bed early and I'm gonna think positive and pray for a better day tomorrow. Maybe try to do a little meditation before bed. Blah
Maddis mum
29-01-13, 04:25
Hi ocean, sorry you feel so terrible today. I also have had some head aches since starting prozac. I also have had a really tense neck and shoulders like I have been lifting weights. Your right its so hard to know what is what anymore and I think we drive ourselves crazy trying to work it out.
---------- Post added at 13:00 ---------- Previous post was at 12:50 ----------
I also noticed a bit of heart burn but its gone now. I am pretty sure I remember Janine saying she got very bad heart burn and she had to take a ton of antacid.
Hi super, sorry you had a bad day. It's so hard fighting this illness. Super I think everything you are worried about is exactly what we all worry about. Your not alone and your not unusual.
Janine thank you for always encouraging us xoxo
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I just read over the last few pages of sick and tired diary and she said that it was 6 to 8 weeks before she noticed any improvement but it was 3 to 4 months before every day became a good day. We are all in the early stages. I am week 6.
OncewasSupergirl
29-01-13, 08:39
Morning Kim,
How are you today?
Usual morning for me...nausea, retching, rubbish nights sleep :/
Am hoping the day improves but I'm not staying on the sofa all day like yesterday that's for sure...your right we are still early days, think we just find that so hard I know I do. Also we all share the same fears which is comforting...I'm going food shopping now...really don't want to but its gotta be done...catch you all later x x
Maddis mum
29-01-13, 09:17
Morning super, yes it's so hard to be patient. I want to be well now.
Your brave going food shopping. I struggle to o that still. I usually wait for my husband to go do it together. Still frightened to go alone. It's so annoying because I used to love to go alone so it makes no sense at all. I hope today is a good day for you. Big hugs.
---------- Post added at 20:17 ---------- Previous post was at 20:01 ----------
Super, I think I remember you saying that you have had his happen 3 times now. Did you get postnatal depression? Was that the first time it struck? Did you get well each time this happened before? Do you recall how long it took you to feel well? Also did you eventually feel back to yourself?sorry for all my questions. :)
OncewasSupergirl
29-01-13, 10:26
Kim, yes 3 times...first time was 2001 n i had postnatal depression...had n awful time on AD's before i found one that was ok but i didnt recover overnight it took me about 2 years before i felt me again. I know you wont want to hear that, but you may not take as long so dont think about it. 2nd time i had a series of panic attacks n went GP, put me back on AD n side effects were so severe i wanted to die, i saw a psych nurse for a year but got better within 6 months. Ever since 2001 ive had panic n anxiety on/off but i learnt to deal with it really well through Claire Weekes books, its the hard way but way it works. This time panic/anxiety started again, plus i had a lot of stress, im a single Mum n my son is autistic, had problems with his behaviour, a disastrous relationship with a man i shouldnt of gone near, was physically unwell on/off n i just got progressively worse n left it too long before i went to see my GP.
So here we are now...you will get better...we will all get better but it takes time n if you're anything like me you feel you are wasting your life like this. But time is the only way..have you got your Dr Weekes book yet? She explains it so well. N yes you will feel back to yourself eventually...a different you though cos the experience changes you i find for the better i appreciate life more when im happy x x
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Kim, never be sorry for the questions...reassurance is what we all need at this time :)and it makes me feel slightly better to be able to help x x
Super you are right with what you said in your last sentence, it is strange because when you come out of this horrible tunnel you do feel you again, but you are a different you somehow it makes you a better person, one for me having never had anything like this before it has made me understand mental illness and how many people if affects in varying degrees and also the fact that I felt so ill makes me appreciate being normal again.
Ocean my doctor said to me not to forget that we are well we all have off days and days that we feel ill, so remember that you may have had a headache and felt off even if you were not on all the meds etc if you get my drift, we are quick to blame them and forget having a day when we feel ill is part of life, having said that I have a headache too today!!!!
Maddis mum
29-01-13, 10:52
Super it sounds like you have had a really rough ride. I am the same as you. Mine started with pnd. I have been ill for over a year now trying to find a med that works. I am determined to give prozac a really good go.
I am still waiting on Clair weeks book to arrive. Wish it would hurry up.
Being a single mum is such hard work. My husband went to work overseas. He wa away for 6 weeks and then home for 2 weeks and the would go again for 6 weeks etc. he did this for over a year and it was during this time that I had the full break down. It was so hard being on my own with my 2. My son was only 6 months when he first left. You must be such a strong women. I really admire people who do it on their own because I had a glimps into what it is like.
Thanks for answering all my questions. Your right about needing reassurance all the time. Xoxo
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Hi Janine, sorry you have another head ache. That sucks xo
Princess2206
29-01-13, 11:08
Oh Supergirl :( sounds like very bumpy road for you. I hope fluoxetine will work for you quicker and you can feel very happy again :) I agree that this experience will make us better people! I already understand things which I didn't before. It will teach as that happiness is so precious and how easy is to loose it. Also I found who my real friends are as well!
You will all feel happy again I promise!!! xxxx
Maddis mum
29-01-13, 11:54
Bed time for me now. I hope you all get through your day ok and have some peace. Xxx
How all of you speak of reassurance and coming out of this makes us better people makes me smile and gives me a glimpse of hope and happiness. I thank all of you for helping me through this "tunnel" and making everyday a little less miserable. I'm on day 65 of the fluoxetine. I'm not suffering from the constant anxiety anymore but some days I feel so down that I don't know if I'll ever fully recover. I had a bit of a crying fit a little while ago, I think that helps. I'm gonna venture out for a little while alone and go see my mom. I go back to my pdoc tomorrow and I hope he had had some magic solution :). I'll keep everyone posted and thanks again to all of you for being a shoulder to lean on. Good days ahead, good days ahead.
Lots and Lots of good days ahead Ocean xxx
Princess2206
29-01-13, 18:04
Hi Ocean, I was on 20mg for 48 days and this is my 3rd day on 40mg. I don't suffer anxiety 24/7 as well but like you I feel down and depressed quiet often and have little crying sessions time to time. And same like you I am worry that I will be like this forever. Have a lovely time at your mum :)
OncewasSupergirl
29-01-13, 18:07
Ocean...im starting to feel less anxious but more down...its horrible!! Think id rather feel anxious?!
Well today i have been productive...went food shopping, popped to a friends then had lunch with the girls...does anyone find talking to people hard? When im with friends i even feel self-concious, like im not myself which i guess im not totally, but sometimes i just want to run home n not bother at all...most disconcerting. I feel really tired today n ive been twitching, stomach cramps on/off throughout the day, vague headache i thought i was getting better! x x
Well sounds like we're all in the same boat! Lol. Supergirl, you've had quite a productive day, that's good!! I think if we keep the motivation it helps. It's funny that you mention about talking to people hard. I can remember in the beginning feeling that way. It was almost as if I couldn't talk, maybe fear of having an attack. And I agree that I don't know if the depression is actually worse than the anxiety. Both just suck!! The ups and downs, it's just awful! I went to my moms and did a little shopping, feeling ok at the moment, trying to maintain my motivation and not crash. Just keep pushing onward I guess :).
Maddis mum
30-01-13, 08:40
Hi everyone, how are you all? Today I have felt depressed all day and night. Just waiting to go to bed so my day is over.
Super good on you for going out to lunch. I struggle to sit there and pretend I feel ok and don't want to run away and hide at home.
Ocean I agree that the ups and down ante just horrible.
Does anyone else have different emotions through the day? On e minute I feel ok and then a hour later I am having anxiety and then later I feel depressed. I just want my even mood to come back.
Janine can I ask you how long it was before the shaking stopped? My hands still shake and sometimes I even feel like my Inside body is shaking.
OncewasSupergirl
30-01-13, 08:49
Kim, i still struggle with people trying to appear normal lol...its cos your so self-aware of how you feel...the Dr Weekes book explains it well i find. I usually end the time with my friends seeking reassurance by asking did i seem ok or such like n then feeling silly :D. N yes i have different emotions through the day...i dont feel too bad this morning but i know it will change later...i seem to struggle at certain times more especially tea-time 5ish. As for the shaking try n think "it wont hurt me"...i know you feel embarrassed or that people notice but they really dont. x x
Maddis mum
30-01-13, 09:09
Super have you been on prozac before? The last time Thai happened?
OncewasSupergirl
30-01-13, 09:20
I tried Prozac before i had my son but only took 2 i felt so unreal i stopped them. I tried Sertraline after i had my son, it was horrible only way i can describe it was i felt "black" n wanted to die. Eventually i went on Lofepramine which seemed to help but it wasnt quick...i had that the last time aswell but now im thinking it didnt work that well cos although i feel dreadful at times ive seen improvements on Prozac much quicker than i ever did when i took lofep. xx
Good morning everyone or afternoon, whichever. I just woke up and feel ok. I have a pdoc apt today so I'm a little anxious about that, but in a good way. I'm gonna drive myself, it's a 35min drive, but I feel pretty confident that I can do it with no trouble, I hope so. And I hope it's a good day for me, for all of us. XXX
Kim, for weeks, I don't remember exactly how long, it felt like my insides were shaking, that's how I explained it to people. It's a horrible feeling and when it happened, I took my benzo. I don't ever want those feelings again. And every time I feel any anxiety at all, I feel depressed afterwards, like being defeated. Such mental struggles that NEED to go away!! I guess we need to just continue to let time pass and let our minds heal.
After having had a great week last week I feel ihave goneback to step 1. Overthe lastfew days my appetite has gone I am crying all the time and scared I wont feelbetter again. Has anyone else felt like this? Also I am due on my period soon :-(
Hi am new to this site n not sure if I'm even writing in the right bit :/ have been on fluoxetine for 8 days although been on it years ago n just wanted someone to talk to
You have come to the right place everyone is very supportive and its great to chat to others in the same boat. How are you finding today? X
Penguin, I have had days, weeks like that. And of course because your period is due, you're gonna have some hormonal changes that make the anxiety and depression harder on us. How long have you been on the fluoxetine?
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Hello NuttyNic, like Penguin said, you have come to the right place. Iv never felt so supported since starting this forum. We all can relate to each other and understand what each other is going through. We're here to help! :hugs:
Hi I'm feeling awful today :( just wanna sleep n cry :( yesterday I felt quite up but just can't be bothered wiv anything today :( I'm not very good on Internet n took me ages to find my way back here n see ur replies do I get notified when u reply or anything
No notifications unless its a private message. It is a bit confusing an frustrating, I'm still trying to figure it all out myself.
8 days on fluoxetine is very early, you have a ways to go to start to feel better. You will have good days and bad days and unfortunately the bad days are just plain awful!! Do you suffer from anxiety/depression, panic attacks?
---------- Post added at 09:20 ---------- Previous post was at 09:16 ----------
I remember all too well the days of just wanting to sleep and cry. I still fear those days will come back and I'm almost 9wks on 20mg fluoxetine. I'm not 100% back to myself but everyday that passes it seems to get a little better. (Fingers crossed) what you're feeling is normal for start up side effects. If you have any questions or concerns, continue to post. Like I said, we're here to help and hopefully make you feel a bit better. What mg of fluoxetine are you on and are you taking anything else?
Yea anxiety/depression n on 20mg at the mo but dr said I gotta go bk after a month n he'll possibly up the dosage just feel so down today n am dreading the school run wiv a playground full of parents but am glad I've found this site n people like me, feel so alone n no one understands
Oceam ive been on 30mg for 6 weeks and 40mg for the last 2 so 8 weeks in all. Last week was like the old me out and about and driving going to the gym and laughing and now im back to staying in bed. How long have you been on fluox for?
OncewasSupergirl
30-01-13, 14:51
Penguin, i too had a goodish week last week n this week not so good...i have struggled to eat today n feel more anxious than usual...it will pass again try n believe that, its the nature of recovery.
Welcome NuttyNic, you are so not alone, you will find reassurance n support here n day 8 is really early days...up until day 12 i felt dreadful, no sleep, no appetite, high anxiety n low mood but it has got better gradually.
Hi, Ocean what time is your pdoc appointment? I spoke to my GP this morning n he has given me another 2 weeks off work which takes the pressure off a bit...give us n update when your back...are you still having good days?
Well ladies...this morning wasnt too bad i met up with one of my friends for coffee n felt ok at times then just before i came back started to feel anxious...crazy,bad thoughts, couldnt think straight, heart racing, sweating you know the drill...am currently trying to calm down before the boy comes home from school....any reassurance n encouragement welcome :) x x
Nuttynic you have to try and be kind to yourself and just do what you can and not force yourself but set small targets to try and achieve. I know its easy to say and harder to do believe me today is not a good one for me. Im goingto take to dog out for a short walk in a bit and try and get some fresh air also. X
Just got back from my apt. The doctor is keeping me at 20mg of fluoxetine and keeping me on the .5 of the klonopin. It was a good visit, very reassuring. I have a questions for you guys...do any of you take a benzo to help with the anxiety or bad days? It seems like so many of us suffer when we don't have to if we just take the benzo. I don't know if I'm different because iv been diagnosed with panic disorder, so I have take the klonopin with the fluoxetine daily to keep the panic away. I'm at 9 wks of fluoxetine and with the klonopin everyday seems to get better. I have off moments but nothing like in the beginning when I couldn't function at all. I hope everyone has had a good day :)
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