How long have u been off work???!!! [Archive]

Evedawn

30-12-12, 18:58

I'm worried about being off work long term! I'm a medical sec (nhs) and been off 4 weeks already and now booked off for another 3 ( so will be at least 7 in total) I simply can't go back yet (struggling big time) but feel so worried and humiliated ... How did / does everyone else cope? Please help with advice.

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So far I've only emailed my manager ... I simply find it too hard to speak to them.i feel ashamed.

Annie0904

30-12-12, 19:01

I have been off for 6 months now but initially it was due to an accident and fractured foot. The accident triggered my anxiety again and it is mainly the anxiety now which is preventing me from going back to work. My work are doing a stress management plan and when I go back it will be a gradual phased return.

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Don't feel ashamed. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed off.

almamatters

30-12-12, 19:06

I have been off work since September, I am trying desperately to focus on going back as soon as possible, my employers are very understanding luckily, but I'm still feeling guilty about how long I have been off.
I need to do a phased return as well, which will probably be one day at work and then the next day off.
Like Annie said it is nothing to be ashamed about, but I know where you are coming from, I used to call and give updates on my progress, but have not had the heart to call for the last 6 weeks.
Take Care and you will know when you are ready to return. :hugs:

simms

30-12-12, 19:10

I was off for 3 months. Went back to work on a phased return building up to full time bt unfortunately I feel bad again over xmas (i heard usually a tough time for anxiety sufferers) and not sure how I'll do going back but I'm going to try and force way through.

Evedawn

30-12-12, 19:14

Thank you - I just need to get over the shame and actually telephine them but I feel it's too hard to vocalise it. Has anyone else sent emails only? it's just all new territory - I used to think I was the strongest person but this depression just is like nothing I've ever experienced on my 38 years. I do feel slightly better than 4 weeks ago so making progress but ohhhh such a long way to go. Hard too as although my husband love me alot he doesn't "get" it. He thinks of my being off work as a kinda holiday but in reality every day is a struggle just to pull the energy to get out of bed, every day is hard.

Annie0904

30-12-12, 19:22

I have not phoned work, just emailed.

Evedawn

30-12-12, 19:24

Ahhh thanks Annie - it's a relief to know I'm not the only one who has emailed. I worry and overanalyse EVERYThINg!! Incl if I'm a coward not to ring :) so your one line answer has helped! Thanks!

almamatters

30-12-12, 19:28

I know it's easy for me to say but I would not feel ashamed of telephoning your employer in fact it would probably be a weight off your mind if you could vocalise how you are feeling. I personally did not send emails but I was feeling so low and desperate a few months ago it was a relief to pick up the phone. I actually had to contact them, as on my final day at work in August, I ran out of the office saying I could not breathe and drove home!!
I have also been accused of having a "holiday" I could not function, get out of bed until noon on some days, was not eating and spent hours crying. It is horrendous and I would give anything to be able to return to work, but I want to return well and not half recovered as I know that I will be unable to manage.
I wish I had some advice for you , but just wanted you to know that I can relate to how you are feeling.

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You are not a coward if you do not pick up the phone, everyone's circumstances are different.

Annie0904

30-12-12, 19:33

I couldn't phone as I knew I would just cry down it and not be able to speak.

Evedawn

30-12-12, 19:38

Thank u mamatters for your reply. YeAh "if" I could pick up the phone I think I would feel a great sense of achievement and relief but..., its so hard. I lack all strength to do anything other than "live each minute". I am sorry uv also experienced others thinking it was an easy holiday being off. I've tried to explain to my husband but in his defence ... No one understands unless they've been there themselves. Ur reply has been a great help .., thank u!

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Yeah Annie I know ... I was like that when I spoke to m mum on the phone - (my family
Live 12000 miles away on the other side of the world) that first day I was booked off she happened to ring and I literally could not speak .. I cried and cried and cried. Then felt guilty cos as I mum I made her do worried and she must have felt helpless. See even the relief of years made me feel guilty LOL

katy2104

30-12-12, 19:41

I have been off for 6 months and am desperate to get back. I too can't function at the moment but know getting some structure back is what will help ultimately. My younger sister died suddenly in March, it hit me in June and I started having panic attacks. My Dad then died suddenly in July and I'm in full blown depression and anxiety. I do feel like they (work) are questioning why I can't get back yet.

Annie0904

30-12-12, 19:44

It is so difficult, I hate talking on the phone when my anxiety is high because all I do is cry. My parents are 82 and they will phone to ask how I am and all I can do is cry.

Evedawn

30-12-12, 19:48

Effing heck Katy! I'm so sorry for that! Truly! It's no wonder uve struggled. R u getting the right help from family or the medical community? not that they have magic wand though .... mores the pity!!!! The thing is ...work would not even question ur return if you suffered from a "visible"illness
But as you know...
And everyone in here knows .... The general world doesn't understand mental illness. Do u have any idea when you "might" go back ?

Annie0904

30-12-12, 19:52

Katy, you have gone through so much this year, bless you, I am not surprised you are feeling so anxious and depressed and surely work can understand that?

almamatters

30-12-12, 19:54

Just repeating Annie really, Katie you need time off you have been through such a lot in a short space of time, I would hope your employers could empathise.

katy2104

30-12-12, 19:58

Hi Evedawn, I am getting support from the medical community and my Mum is staying with me at the moment but, and I know this sounds awful as we have all been through so much as a family - she makes me worse as she is loosing patience with me. She doesn't cry and I do!!!! Even though I love her dearly and know she is doing her best I know my dad and sister would understand me more.
I feel so guilty for feeling like this.
My GP signed me off for another month, she doesn't think I'm fit enough. I'm hoping it won't be too long as I'm on half pay now!!!!

Annie0904

30-12-12, 20:01

I am on half pay too and it just adds more stress but it is no good going back before you are ready. I have done that before and made myself worse again. :hugs:

Evedawn

30-12-12, 20:02

Oh Katie - that must be hard in both u and ur mum and .... It must make u miss ur dad and sis more. I'm so sorry for that :(

almamatters

30-12-12, 20:03

Half pay for me too. It is just adding to my worries, I don't want to fall behind with my bills, but still struggling to return to work .

Evedawn

30-12-12, 20:05

Yeah the pay is a worry .... Still on full pay but won't last forever. And then it'll be half pay ... And then nowt! R any of u also nhs employees?

almamatters

30-12-12, 20:07

I work in the health sector but not employed by the NHS. I am seriously stressed about my pay finishing, I would not have a clue what happens after that?

Annie0904

30-12-12, 20:11

Statutory sick pay and an assessment by the ESA which I think means Employment services agency.

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I have just had to fill all the forms in

almamatters

30-12-12, 20:11

Thanks Annie, seriously hope it does not come to that.

Annie0904

30-12-12, 20:12

You can claim it when you go to half pay as well.

almamatters

30-12-12, 20:14

Really? Had no idea. I have not got a clue about these things

Annie0904

30-12-12, 20:24

My employer sent the ESA forms to me when I went to half pay and told me to send the sick note to ESA and just a photocopy of it to work.

almamatters

30-12-12, 20:25

Mine have not contacted me about this I might get in touch with them about it. thanks Annie

Rls1994

30-12-12, 23:35

Yes, I'm also trying to claim for ESA since I'm not fit to work. I have to go see ATOS next month (Oh joy....) and they're going to assess me. I've heard some bad stories about people going to see them..

oh no_1

30-12-12, 23:39

im still off work :( not good.... especially in the job i do :(

Annie0904

31-12-12, 09:31

Tessie28

31-12-12, 13:28

Evedawn

11-01-13, 11:02

I'm due back in one more week and already I am
Stressing! I don't want to go back. I'm not ready! In fact I plan to leave that job and find another somehow but not ready for that yet either. It was (partly) the job that sent the depression out of control. Not entirely of course but it certainly was the final thing that broke me.

Annie0904

11-01-13, 12:04

:unsure:Hi guys, Katy don't be hard on yourself! I just left my job [teaching full time] because of the anxiety and depression. At first I was great, now feel like sh*t. Last few days have been really bad. I plan to do supply in January but just now I'm pathetic. xx

I keep trying to tell myself that January is supposed to be the most depressing time of the year anyway so we will feel better in February :unsure: