View Full Version : Anybody have a theory about what has happened, please read and advise
Hi my name is phil and i would like to share my experiences with you in the hope somebody may recognise what the hell happens to me! I am 45 years old and currently suffering from what i think is severe anxiety and depression. How i feel at the moment is exactly how i felt the last time this occurred (11 years ago). This whole episode started about May 2012. Originally after 2001 i was placed on Effexor and it worked, it brought me out of my illness and since then i have been to university and gained my degree, my masters and my teaching qualifications. However in may i found out that my gamma gt levels were very high and was advised to come off effexor. Whilst on effexor i had no blood tests done, only when i complained of tiredness did they do a blood test and find that my thyroid had sort of packed in (this is how they discoved my gamma gt elevated liver levels). Therefore after 11 years i had to come off effexor to save my liver. At the time i was doing my PGCE a very difficult 1 yr course, i was doing my teaching placement and i was also a paid lecturer doing 8 hrs per week teaching criminology, at the time i was not given an adequate mentor, i was under resourced, none of the other team members would look or even speak to me, (if they did it was usually rude of disrespectful) i was left too my own devices. It got to the point where i could'nt stand to look at the other staff ( apparently 3 others had walked out in last 2 yrs) and i felt very nervous and isolated. In May i was sat in class and had gone from 150mg to 75 to 37.5 mg and i was feeling stressed , suddenly i felt a big slump like a massive sigh. It felt as though i had lost my mojo. However i carried on and completed my teaching qualification and obligations whilst tapering off effexor (1 tablet oner day and then none the next which i now regret) throughout the summer i felt down (outbursts and arguments due to frustration occurred) but got on with it no real symptoms but i felt like i couldnt go back and work with them again, i was nervous and angry and it started bothering me everyday. Eventually i decided i could'nt go back so i quit, however i have never been out of work for long and realised that i wanted to give it a try but was told my hours had gone. However i was told to come in and there may be a chance, when i went back to uni and they let me down with some hours is when it started, exactly the same as before. What happens is something comes over me like intense grief, its like somebody puts a black sheet over me, like a shadow (is this depression taking hold?). Over the following days it gets worse, crying, no appetite, scared, not wanting to be alone, really nervous, cannot smile, no interest in anything i usually love, chronic worry and fear. Its the same as in 2001, i thought that this could never happen to me again, however now i have no job and i am stuck at home feeling dislocated and my anxiety and depression are dreadful (no appetite/sleep). I was wondering if anybody else has felt this, is this how it comes about? I was under immense stress and coming off effexor, does this sound like the cause?
At the moment i am on cymbalta as citilopram was useless, however after feeling better on cymbalta 30mg for 2 weeks i went up to 60mg and after 5 days all my anxiety and depression came back worse. Perhaps the noradrenaline in the cymbalta was too stimulating, effexor 150mg was ok for me as apparently it functions as basically an ssri at 150mg. Can anybody give me some respite, sorry if the post is too long.
nomorepanic
31-12-12, 12:02
Hi drstock
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Hi
Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I can't offer any advice other than to return to your doctor and tell them how you feel - shame you had to come off the medicine which helped. Hope things improve soon.
Hi, if it helps I am on lexapro and although that is an SSRI and not an SNRI, I experienced increased anxiety and depression after I increased my dose for about a week and a half. It should even out!
Hi Phil and:welcome:
I can see you're having a really tough time of it and I recognise quite a lot of what you're going through. I also first took Effexor 10 years ago after a major anxiety episode but came off it after about 8 months. I've now been back on it for a year and I'm feeling much better. I'll try to give you a few pointers but, of course, it's just my opinion.
First, well done for what you've achieved. You've done exceptionally well to get your qualifications and I've no doubt you'll soon be back in work when you're feeling a bit better.
Effexor is notoriously difficult to come off, especially after so many years. I have no doubt that's what's making you feel so anxious and depressed at the minute. Apparently, venlafaxine does work on noradrenalin at 150mg so your withdrawal will include that too. Again, you're doing well with this. I've been there too and I know it's difficult.
Stick with the duloxetine - although I've never taken it, I believe it's quite similar to venlafaxine in its SNRI action. It will take quite a few weeks for it to take full effect, together with the withdrawal from ven to settle down. Give it time and you will start to feel better.
In the meantime, are you taking any other meds to help you? I found beta blockers a godsend to see me through the first few weeks. Maybe a chat with your GP would help. I know it can become virtually unbearable but don't give up. However bad you feel, there is always a solution.
As hard as it can be, don't give up trying to help yourself. Get up early, go for walks, see some friends or family, go shopping - anything to stop you sitting at home and dwelling on how you feel. As I said, I've been there and I truly understand and this would be the best piece of advice I could give you. It sounds simple but we both know it's not. Give it a go though - I promise it won't make you any worse and chances are that it will help.
I wish you all the best and keep coming on here. You'll find that people are very supportive and that in itself can help no end. I'm always around if you need a bit of support - feel free to PM me.
Take care
Pip x
P.S. I have merged 2 of your threads as they were the same and it can get confusing as you'll get replies on both.
Pip
Thanks pip, i came off effexor in August right at the same time i was under severe stress, i was annoyed that i had'nt spotted it happening. The last time i had a bad time with anxiety was 2001 and the effexor turned me around quickly, however i suspect that it was to blame for the cock up of my thyroid, i do know for a fact it was elevating my liver enzymes up to 200 gamma gt, so i came off and as soon as the stress got too much the anxiety came over me. After August i tried cirilopram for 2 months but it was no use so 4 weeks ago i started cymbalta and after 7 days i was starting to pik up but 5 days after going up to 60mg it all came back worse, it must be the dose increase as i was on 60mg for 8 days? I tried to last it out but ended up going back to 30mg and now i am hoping that anxiety will subside and bring me back to where i was on 30mg feeling like i was improving, what do u think.
With that timescale, I reckon it's just the duloxetine that's causing your anxiety increase now. I always say discuss any changes in dose with your GP but if you're already at 30mg, stick with that for a while and then you could maybe increase in smaller increments.
It's definitely worth talking to your GP about some short-term relief as the first few weeks on ADs can be torture, as many of us know.
Take care
Pip
Thanks for the quick reply, i think it must be duloxetine, i was ok after 2 weeks then as soon as i upped it my anxiety got worse. Maybe 30 will be enough for me, effexor 150mg was and apparently 150mg effexor acts mainly as a ssri and does hardly anything to noradrenaline. Just want to try and feel like i did on 30mg and crack on, its day 4 now on 30 and today has been a little better but still having waves of anxiety where i have to breathe to calm it. Went to tesco this aft and generally i do not have social anxiety but today i felt nervous. Just want to get well so i can apply for jobs. I think with me its severe anxiety and low level depression. Ru feelin ok?
I'm fine thanks. You're probably right that's it's the duloxetine - it has a much heavier ratio to noradrenalin reuptake inhibition than venlafaxine, but a weaker serotonin action. It's always worth sticking with the lowest clinical dose until you settle and can then re-evaluate how you're feeling and whether you need to increase.
This time around, I was on 75mg of venlafaxine for about 7-8 months before I increased to 150 as I wasn't quite right. Give it time and try not to think about it too much. You know that duloxetine can work for you and that's half the battle.
Take care
Pip
Hi Phil, Well i know what its like to relapse! Awful the fisrt time, not great the second and feels hopless the third time! But then i started to realise i was able to see changes in myself, my thoughts and behaviour and instead of having relases i took these changes as warning signs. I started to stop and evaluate what was happening and why i was stressed again. Not easy to do in that frame of mind i know butin your case you have been there before so you know it will get easier with treatment and time. This is a great site so please do ask for help if you feel you need it and feel free to contact me for a chat if you wish.
Have a good new year.
Hi Phil and:welcome:
I can see you're having a really tough time of it and I recognise quite a lot of what you're going through. I also first took Effexor 10 years ago after a major anxiety episode but came off it after about 8 months. I've now been back on it for a year and I'm feeling much better. I'll try to give you a few pointers but, of course, it's just my opinion.
First, well done for what you've achieved. You've done exceptionally well to get your qualifications and I've no doubt you'll soon be back in work when you're feeling a bit better.
Effexor is notoriously difficult to come off, especially after so many years. I have no doubt that's what's making you feel so anxious and depressed at the minute. Apparently, venlafaxine does work on noradrenalin at 150mg so your withdrawal will include that too. Again, you're doing well with this. I've been there too and I know it's difficult.
Stick with the duloxetine - although I've never taken it, I believe it's quite similar to venlafaxine in its SNRI action. It will take quite a few weeks for it to take full effect, together with the withdrawal from ven to settle down. Give it time and you will start to feel better.
In the meantime, are you taking any other meds to help you? I found beta blockers a godsend to see me through the first few weeks. Maybe a chat with your GP would help. I know it can become virtually unbearable but don't give up. However bad you feel, there is always a solution.
As hard as it can be, don't give up trying to help yourself. Get up early, go for walks, see some friends or family, go shopping - anything to stop you sitting at home and dwelling on how you feel. As I said, I've been there and I truly understand and this would be the best piece of advice I could give you. It sounds simple but we both know it's not. Give it a go though - I promise it won't make you any worse and chances are that it will help.
I wish you all the best and keep coming on here. You'll find that people are very supportive and that in itself can help no end. I'm always around if you need a bit of support - feel free to PM me.
Take care
Pip x
what brilliant advice pip
Hi Pip, today i have woken feeling less anxious than the previous day, hopefully i may be returning to the state i was in during the second week of taking duloxetine, fingers crossed. However i still feel anxious, especially when i think about being out of work, that has been a factor throughout this. I applied to Leicester Uni for a lecturer position and the closing date is this Wednesday and now i am afraid that if i have an interview that i wont be ready as i am still anxious when it comes to anything stressy even sorting a bill out. However i have this feeling like i am not ever gonna get a job again, sounds silly eh, so now i am bit panicy. whats annoying is i am not usualy like this. Happy New Year by the way
Phil,
Happy New Year to you too. You'll soon find your anxiety eases but, in the meantime, try your best not to predict how you'll feel in certain circumstances. You're doing what we all do now and again and that's getting anxious about getting anxious. It's the fear of the fear that perpetuates this illness so the best way to try and think is 'what's the worst that can happen?'
Say you get a job interview - that's great but you've got nothing to lose by going for it. The worst that can happen is that you don't get the job. The more you worry, the more anxious you'll be in the interview, although everyone's anxious at interview so they're unlikely to notice anything out of the ordinary.
With your qualifications, a good job will definitely come your way. Sometimes, you just have to wait a while. When it's right, you'll know and you'll get it. I can imagine how stressful it must be being out of work but try to use the time to work on your anxiety. The CBT4Panic programme promoted on here is very good and you can try it free for a while to see if it will help. As I said before, keep active and start a healthy routine of getting up early and structuring your day - I find that really helps.
I hope that's of some use - I can only tell you what's been useful to me from my (far too long) experience of an anxiety disorder. It's now over 30 years and counting... I refuse to let it hold me back anymore though and I try to use my experience to help others, where I can.
Take care
Pip x
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