well i feel like a psycho

[swgrl09]

I was looking forward to a quiet night in by myself tonight ... then started thinking about my family situation and called my fiance. He didn't have time to talk because he is going out for New Years in New Orleans with his work buddies he is on the trip with. I just broke down and felt so alone right now. I feel like such a spaz for flipping the switch like that.

My sisters are together tonight and I couldn't bring myself to go see them because I am still so upset at them. My dad didn't even call to say Happy New Year. He is with his new girlfriend anyway. I feel so isolated from my family and although my fiance is so supportive and tries, he just doesn't understand as his family has not hurt him like this.

I feel badly being a wishy wash and complaining so much about this. I was actually feeling pretty good today until I just was home alone tonight and thinking about family and past new years with them.

It's weird feeling like I am grieving the loss of people who are still alive.

Wish my mom was here to help. Felt like she was the only one who really put my feelings first in the family.

Sorry for being mopey.

[panickyme]

Awwww, it seems when we are alone that is when our brains go into overdrive. We start thinking, and thinking. I'm sorry you have to deal with the family stuff, that can't be fun. Maybe your dad will call you at 12:00 we still have some time. (I hope he does) I know you miss your mom so much, I wish there was something I could do. (remember she is sitting right next to you in spirit) Try to have a good New Years, think of that awesome wedding coming up, think of some really good things. Happy New Year to you. Hope things get better. :hugs:

[swgrl09]

Aw, thank you so much. You have been so kind and thoughtful. Yeah, I need to distract myself ... find something to occupy my mind. Hope you have a nice new years! :hugs:

---------- Post added 01-01-13 at 00:08 ---------- Previous post was 31-12-12 at 20:34 ----------

Happy 2013 from the East Coast!

[Col]

You know what, when you think everyone's out having a good time, it can feel like your isolated but last night you weren't the only one that felt like this, just reading the threads and posts on NMP confirm this. Can you think of everyone in the world ~ not just those on NMP, that also would have felt like this? What about all those new years eve bust ups and arguments etc. let them have it!!!! You did well to get through it and I can see where your coming from calling your fiancé like this BUT don't worry about it and as for the family members that didn't call you, works both ways- so hopefully you restrained from calling them. If you didn't call them , I'm sure no matter how it appears to you on the surface, I am sure they would have thought about you and where was your phone call at midnight.

Think about getting yourself right this year, with or without family understanding or support, put your energy all into you, have a prosperous 2013

[hanshan]

Hi Swgrl09,

Do you have a non-family friend you can spend "family get-together" holidays with? It might be a way to avoid family-holiday problems.

Take care.