Reasons for health anxiety

[RND2011]

After reluctantly accepting that I suffer from health anxiety I have been thinking a bit about the reasons why.

When I was a child I suffered from scarlet fever and recurring kidney infections and was subjected to regular hospital tests. In addition of course I suffered the normal childhood illnesses and as a teenager began to have full aura migraines.

In my twenties I suffered two extremely dibilitating stress reactions similar to ulcerative colitis which resulted in me losing 2 stones in weight with thinning hair.

Growing up my mother was in hospital 2 or 3 times for serious operations and regularly told people she "might die". As a 10 year old I witnessed my father have two heart attacks.

A friend at work died from a brain tumour and my wife's mother also had a brain tumour. She ended up as a vegetable in a nursing home for 10 years before she died.

It seems to me entirely reasonable that I would be nervous of symptoms however small on the basis that I have plenty of evidence that things can go very wrong. The reason for writing this is to ask someone to challenge what seems to me to be entirely justifiable fears. Does anyone else have similar experiences which have affected them in the same way?

Many thanks

[AuntieMoosie]

Yes I would certainly agree that a lot of our fears/anxiety are triggered from events that we've been through, be that through childhood or adulthood.

It's not surprising that you seem to have got "hooked" onto health issues when you consider what you've had to witness with those around you.

What we have to try and realise is that anxiety all stems from our own thoughts and how we deal with them :)

I've found CBT to be most helpful in teaching me to address my own thoughts. Have you tried any CBT or anything like that ?? If not, I would highly recommend it. :)

[cattia]

I've often wondered this myself. I had three serious fractures before the age of 12, I was an accident prone child! The first was age 4 and I had to stay in hospital for two weeks. When I was eleven I fractured my femur and had to have three operations on it. I sometimes wonder if that triggered it. As a child I was very anxious. I remember having rituals about where I would put my toys and which order I would touch things before I went to sleep and if I touched things in the wrong order I would have to wash my hands.

As well as that though, I do think mine has some genetic causes, or maybe learned behaviour. Both my paternal grandmother and my dad suffered anxiety and were very much hypochondriacs and so maybe it's an attitude I picked up from them That worries me too as in spite of my best attempts, I find it hard to hide my anxieties from my children. My daughter is only three and already she's a bit of a worrier, which makes me feel awful. For me though, there definitely isn't one key trigger that I can identify. I just seem to have been like this most of my life.

[almamatters]

My HA began at a really early age, I was at Blackpool on a family holiday and my dad took us to the waxworks museum. I was about 13 I think me and my sister sneaked into the human anatomy section where they show models with certain diseases of the body. That was it for me, as soon as we came out , I became very distressed and for the rest of the holiday kept imagining I had a disease ,cancer mainly . It appears stranger ,as I was always a healthy child and did not suffer many illnesses but I basically ruined the rest of the holiday with my constant crying and being crippled with fear. The fear has never really left me and seems to have got worse as I have got older.
I was always an anxious child and I am assuming this played it's part in the reason I was so affected by this incident, my sister never gave it a second thought and does not suffer HA or anything similar.
This may seem a small incident to most people, but I can not remember ever being anxious regarding illness before that day. xxxx

[Arnie365]

Hi alma

Have you had any therapy to address the fear if that is at the root of it? I ask because my therapist is running a twin track of cbt to help me now but also therapy to identify what's causing the fear which is sitting behind with HA.

I think I have stumbled across this by accident. I've always had a fear I would die of a heart attack. Not so much worried about it just was certain that when my time came it would be a heart attack that took me. I never worried about any other way of going and never knew why.

Well my grandad died of a heart attack when I was 5 but I found out on Christmas eve that I was actually sat with him whenhe had it. I have no recollection of this or the ambulance coming etc at all but I recall the phone call from the hospital later that day saying he had died very clearly so my memory obviously does go back this far. I'm going to discuss to with my therapist later to see what she thinks.

I'm really hoping that by addressing my fear and cbt to help me tackle anxiety I should be back to how I was 8 months ago.

[Justinf]

I have cut-and-pasted this from the What Triggers Your Anxiety thread:

Mine was triggered by visiting a mobile school dentist when I was 6 (36 years ago). I had fillings put in my teeth with no anasthetic and the nurse had to physically hold me down and yell at me 'It's only the noise' when referring to the drill. I can tell you, it most certainly wasn't the 'noise' that had me screaming with that drill burying deep into my root with no anasthetic. The dentist was obviously cheap or free and that's why I was sent there. I have had a fear of dentists ever since and avoid them unless I absolutely have to.
Seven years later I felt what I thought was a lump on my left testicle. I told my mum and she said she would tell my dad and I never heard back from either of them. I spent the next 12 months thinking I was going to die any day. Funnily enough I asked my dad about it the other day. He said my mum never told him. My mother is basically a walking zombie with mental health issues. I don't know whether I have truly forgiven her for that. To ignore your own child's plea when he thinks he has a cancerous tumour? I just don't think I can forgive her. If it wer eone of my kids, they'd be visiting the doctor that same day. I just don't understand why she did nothing.
Turned out I got the 'lump' checked when I was 29 when my wife and I decided to start a family and it was perfectly normal. Got a 2nd opinion. All normal. If only that had happened all those years previously, maybe I wouldn't be like I am today.
What ifs hey?
So I have been a health worrier basically since the age of 6 and then definitely since the age of 13.
I have learned that it is no way to live your life because if something bad does happen, I will regret worrying all these years.
But it isn't that simple is it?

[RND2011]

Thanks for all of your replies. And you are quite right Justin -it is never that simple. I have had a number of sessions of CBT with a highly qualified doctor (luckily my private healthcare agreed to cover them). The problem I found was that I felt I had so much evidence that when encouraged to think another way I just felt I was kidding myself.

I am trying an alternative anxiety counsellor ow who takes the approach of lowering underlying tension and stress and encouraging more self belief. By becoming a more "solid" person it should be possible to live in a less anxious state generally. I must say I have found this a much more effective approach.. It does include elements of CBT but it is intended to develop a much more sound underlying state.