New and in need of some hope...

[nessynessa]

Hi,

Never done anything like this before but I thought I'd give it a try and see if anything can help me.
I'm a 30 year old single parent to 3 boys. I have been suffering from anxiety, social phobias and depression for as long as I can remember. This has caused me to not really ever behave like a normal person! So suffice to say, I have made some huge mistakes in life and never really amounted to anything, which in turn feeds my depression/anxiety and the cycle continues...
Currently at an all time low. I attempted a relationship with somebody who I really do love, but as soon as he got close enough to see how much inner turmoil i suffer, he backed away. Obviously this hurts like hell but it's not the first time it's happened.
I know I'll just deal with it and get on, but I really can't stand the pain I feel inside all the time. I've had 30 years of it and I've had enough. I love my children so much and if it wasn't for them, I'd see no point in me really.
Anyway, I am currently on 75mg of venlafaxine which seems to do nothing other than give me the worst withdrawl if I miss taking them..I have some diazepam left from when it was previously prescribed to me during a bad episode. It's only 2mg and I'm thinking I should just take it for a week just to numb the pain so I can get on and do what I need to do without feeling quite so crippled inside.
Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance.
p.s I have never actually uttered anything so depressing in my life, but I figure this is the place to actually do that!:unsure:

[nomorepanic]

Hi nessynessa

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[AuntieMoosie]

Hello and welcome to NMP :welcome:

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now.

Maybe the venlafaxine isn't working for you very well now, I've never had that so I have no experience of it hun.

I would say go back and have a chat with your doctor and tell them how dreadful you're feeling, they'll be able to help you more hun :)

Stick around here, there are lots of wonderful, helpful, kind and caring people :)

You're not alone, there's people always here hun :) :hugs:

[Roxy79]

Hi,

I'm new to this too. I, myself have suffered with anxiety/depression for most of my adult life. I'm married with 2 boys and they are the only reason i get out of bed each day. Some days are worst than others. My husband is very understanding, but it's sometimes hard to explain to him how i feel.

I take Citalopram. They help a bit, but not for my anxiety. i'm thinking of going for some therapy to help to control the anxiety as i have tried numerous different meds and they dont seem to help. Diazepam is great for short term relief to numb the pain, but the problem will still be there when you run out. My friend has suggested beta blockers for my anxiety so im going to the docs tomorrow to see if i can get any!!

xxx

[Annie0904]

Roxy and Nessy, If you haven't had any therapy before I would recommend cognitive behaviour therapy. Mention it to your doctor and he should be able to refer you xx

[MissGS]

Hi there xxx

[Mark13]

Welcome nessynessa.

You've come the right place for support and information :)

[Roxy79]

I did once try it, but only went to one session and just filled out a form. Gonna give it another try though. X

[nessynessa]

Hi, thanks for all your responses so far! Last year I had a really rough time with my anxiety and depression. For me, the stress tends to manifest itself with a lot of physical symptoms like lethargy, headaches, visual disturbance and weirdly, loads of muscle twitching! When all this happened last year, I had no idea that it was down to anxiety and even though doctors insisted it was, I didn't believe them and convinced myself I was dying. I was petrified and all my symptoms just got worse and worse, I couldn't sleep or eat or function at all. I was having about 20 panic attacks a day - more like one constant panic attack. My dad took me to my GP and as soon as he saw me, he knew exactly what was happening. Long story short, I was put on the venlafaxine, beta blockers, diazepam and temazepam along with a full course of CBT. After all that I did feel better and started to build myself up again.... But now, over a year later, I feel like I'm slipping back and I don't really know what to do. I just feel like I haven't really got to the bottom of what the hell is wrong with me. I had a turbulent childhood and suffer from pretty major insecurities, but I'm mostly able to put up a front and just deal with that stuff. Being a single parent is stressful and one of my son's has special needs which is hard too, but like I said, I just get on with it..... I think I have rambled far too much... Just thought I'd share. It's rather therapeutic!xx

[Brunette]

"I just feel like I haven't really got to the bottom of what the hell is wrong with me. I had a turbulent childhood and suffer from pretty major insecurities, but I'm mostly able to put up a front and just deal with that stuff."

Hi nessynessa - this, in a nutshell, is the problem. You need to stop "putting up a front", get to the bottom of what's causing your anxiety and work through it - all your meds are doing is treating the symptoms and not the cause. Like Annie says, the best thing to do would be to ask your doctor about CBT.