Starting to feel depressed

[StarryBlueGal]

Hello,

We are into 2013, now I am starting to feel depressed. I sat down with my parents and we watched the TV with fireworks going off last night. Then we sang Auld Lang Syne, me and my Mum. Then suddenly I looked at my Mum, and this thought came into my mind, that she was going to die. Then I felt depressed as I thought this year is going to be a bad one. My Mum is fine but my dad had some health problems earlier this year.

I couldn't sleep last night then went to sleep in the morning. Also I'm ill with the flu, and I feel frustrated because I am coughing a lot too. I am now feeling down and fighting the need to cry. I had a great year in 2012, enjoying the Olympics and Paralympics, and now 2013 is going to be anti-climax... I've no plans to do in 2013. Mum said I should find new friends and going out a lot. But I don't have that many friends and I find it hard to make friends. She said I should be more positive and don't think about negative things about 2013. 2014 is OK because I have one event to be excited about next year but this year is going to be difficult for me! I am disabled too, so I can't find a job as it is hard for me as they won't give jobs to disabled people. I have done voluntary work but they had to let me go, and I am unemployed for a year now.

I don't know what to do next and what to plan.... hope you can chat to me and help me through this - this group is lovely and I come here sometimes and it helps me alot.

Thanks
StarryBlueGal xx

[Oddfish]

Hi, sorry that you are feeling this way. I think a lot of people have similar feelings at the turn of the year although many don't like to admit it!

Charlenemac is right in that starting a course would be a good idea. Lots of councils offer them for free if you are unemployed, sometimes multiple courses so it is a way to keep yourself busy and to try something new.

It's common to become depressed when you are unemployed and it is great that you were volunteering. Perhaps you could get back into another position somewhere. In my experience it is better just to call up places that want volunteers directly and have a chat about what you can offer, rather than go through volunteering sites where you sometimes never get a reply.

For new friends, try Meetup. Look for some local groups on line and get yourself along. It can be intimidating when you go for the first time, but once you have met a few people and get to know them it gets easier and there are plenty of meets that you might want to go along to.

I also like to keep a journal to chart how I feel and to write down new things that I do. It can be as mundane as going into a new shop or cooking a new recipie. The key for me is to feel as though I am moving forward and when I look back through the journal all these things help me realise that I am.

Treat 2013 as a blank canvas. Try to think of it "I wonder what will happen!" Rather than "Nothing is going to happen" You're in the driving seat! :D

[StarryBlueGal]

Hi, sorry that you are feeling this way. I think a lot of people have similar feelings at the turn of the year although many don't like to admit it!

Charlenemac is right in that starting a course would be a good idea. Lots of councils offer them for free if you are unemployed, sometimes multiple courses so it is a way to keep yourself busy and to try something new.

It's common to become depressed when you are unemployed and it is great that you were volunteering. Perhaps you could get back into another position somewhere. In my experience it is better just to call up places that want volunteers directly and have a chat about what you can offer, rather than go through volunteering sites where you sometimes never get a reply.

For new friends, try Meetup. Look for some local groups on line and get yourself along. It can be intimidating when you go for the first time, but once you have met a few people and get to know them it gets easier and there are plenty of meets that you might want to go along to.

I also like to keep a journal to chart how I feel and to write down new things that I do. It can be as mundane as going into a new shop or cooking a new recipie. The key for me is to feel as though I am moving forward and when I look back through the journal all these things help me realise that I am.

Treat 2013 as a blank canvas. Try to think of it "I wonder what will happen!" Rather than "Nothing is going to happen" You're in the driving seat! :D

That what I see 2013 - a blank screen - 2012 was full of excitement, pride and euphoria - but now all of that is gone! I went to the Paralympics which was amazing! I had a good cry last night and now I feel much better.

I find meeting up friends difficult as I am disabled myself. People have told me the same thing as what you all are saying to me. I am not keen on going back to college as I am too old for that sort of thing!! I last went to college about 10 years ago!

Also it is great that you all are doing new things. I would like to learn how to cook cakes! Also I have asked my old workplaces where I used to work, but unfortuntely, they are closing down due to money problems. So I don't know where to start and I used to go through people who help disabled people to find jobs but they are not very good as I couldn't hold down a job and they drop me like a hot potato. That why I am scared to do work again in case I have to be let go again.

Thanks so much for your help, it is much appericated, hope you all feel good about doing new things and hope this year brings happiness for rest of you!!!

Love
StarryBlueGal xx

[Sparkle1984]

I sometimes feel sad when a good year has ended. January is nearly always a rather depressing month as not a lot happens! February onwards is always more interesting for me as it's my birthday, the spring flowers start to open and I can go on more walks in the countryside.

2012 will always be there in your memories. :)

You are never too old to go to college and learn new things. In many courses there is a wide range of ages. If you wouldn't feel comfortable at a college, your local council may well run adult education courses where there may be more people your age.

Learning to bake cakes is something that I have really enjoyed. In many towns and cities there are cake-making courses - these are often run by the owners of cake shops. I'd suggest doing a Google search for cake courses in your area and see what comes up.

[StarryBlueGal]

Sparkle,

Thanks very much for your advice - I am more better today and done more things. I would love to learn how to make cakes, but I tried to make some cakes for my nephew's birthday before Christmas, but they turned out crappy, and no one ate them! I think that did knock my confidence a lot. So would love to learn how to make cakes properly. Mum does a lot of cakes... but I feel that I am rubbish at making cakes, but I can make things from ready made mixes!!

I feel education doesn't suit me alot and I found college a bit hard for me, as I enjoyed the courses, but mixing with people not of my age is a bit difficult. I would feel like I am back at school, and learning things!! Also when I was at college, I would have to pay for courses - but I had enough of college when I was 24.... and left college, decided to look for jobs. I got my first voluntary work the year after.

I don't know what I really want to do this year - I would like to make my year exciting! I would love to travel aboard but my family are busy with other committements and I have few friends as well.

2012 will definitely stay with me forever and good memories too. I will have to think about what i want, I do want to work but I am scared of what people think of me.

Thanks again for your help, it does help me a lot.

Love
StarryBlueGal xx