View Full Version : i have no reason to life anymore
Hello
I have been feeling very down at the moment. As I feel I have no friends or family to rely on in the hard times or in general to speak too.
Yes I have my boyfriend who is wonderful and we live together. But I feel I desperately need more than one person in my life. But I seem to always turn to the wrong people. People who I believe are my friends want to come to me and rant about how terrible their lives are but when I want to speak to them about my life they tell me to go and speak to my boyfriend or to simply smile and get on with it.
Which I obvioulsy find impossible as depression and mental health in general just isn't that easy to pull yourself out of. My nan, dad and mum all told me then would visit me over christmas which I thought might help me. But then all cancelled or have just ignored. The fact they said they would come all together.
I feel completely unloved, uncared for and unimportant to everyone I meet including my parents. And without people who love me in my life what is the point. Exactly there isn't any. I have no reason to carry on living
nomorepanic
03-01-13, 01:32
We all have a reason to carry on living - read my signature
hia, i can relate to how your feeling at the moment at least a little bit. I've been suffering with anxiety and panic attacks for a while now family just saying i worry too much make it really hard to talk about, and i have a boyfriend who is very supportive, but my housemates I've been living with have recently decided it fair to tell me that don't want to live with me anymore, i felt so upset that that would do this not only a day before i went on holidays but it was totally out of the blue, thay had never told me that had any problems with me before i felt totally uncared for, and that had made no effort to even know me very well and i have been living with them for 2 years.
you must know that you are still here and you are a stronger person to still be here, times will get better and you will find people who really care for you.....you will always have support here and you'll find a lot of people who feel the same way, and you do have a boyfriend, he'll be there for you, i suppose i don't have too much advice to give other than to stay strong and look forward to better times, i hope this helped.
nomorepanic
03-01-13, 01:48
Maybe if you nearly died you would have a reason to carry on living. I am sorry but I do not like reading posts like this when life is so precious and you never know that unless it is nearly taken away from you!
If you feel suicidal then please get help cos it is really not the answer at all and causes so much upset and hurt - more than you can imagine
Bonnibelle
03-01-13, 06:49
You shouldn't say you've no reason to carry on, suicide in my opinion is very selfish. I've been really unwell recently with crippling anxiety but I've carried on because I'd never ever leave my children and husband. Everyone has a reason to stay and fight this.
My family treat me badly and have made me ill, read my post and you will see I feel so unloved and alone, but I've my husband and children to be with and they are why I carry on with a smile.
If you're having those kind of dark thoughts I'd say you need to visit your GP.
Cocomademoiselle
03-01-13, 09:33
Hi Barrett
Sorry you feel like that. Your right even with a partner etc you can still feel alone and your right not to rely on that one person to make you completely whole. It sounds like your friend are just talking about themselves. Can I ask how old you are ? As I know as we get older its harder to find and make new friends not like when we were at school etc but it CAN be done. I would try and widen your social circle not necessarily cut these friends out but try and make new ones people who will care and be there for you for a chat.
I think you should definately go to your doctors if you havent already done so ?? If you are depressed there are things that can be done, medication counselling etc. Medication CAN be a lifesaver albeit the first one may not work for you but when you find the right one it can make a difference and lift the clouds so that you can have counselling etc to try and make you feel better.
So please tell us more about yourself so we can help you.
I have just turned 18. I live with my boyfriend. And I go to college. I don't have any family or friends. I have had depression since I was 12 and I have had medication and councelling ever since but nothing seems to help. I just feel so alone. I'm sorry if any of you think I'm selfish
awww this is very upsetting, im feeling very... well not well.....
but feel a burden on people who know stuff (prob why i keep alot ot myself) and could do with a friend, right now this minute....
dnt want ppl to have to pick me up when im crying.... why cnt i just get on with life.
life is so hard.... and yes i had and having bad abd thoughts but id never do it.... as im too chicken to and it not fair on others.
Cocomademoiselle
03-01-13, 14:46
Are you on any medication now or was this just in the past ? And when was the last time you went to your doctor about this ? Xx
R.barret in sad for you that it feels so bad and you have my every sympathy. I too had thoughts of suicide ... Even going down to planning the method but honey, it will get better. It WILL..., you have to believe that. Life is the greatest gift and its worth holding on to ... Even by a thread! Who knows what wonder treatment the future will bring fir depression ... And you wanna be around when they find a cure! One site I accidentally found was called "faces of suicide" and seeing the photos and tributes that were written by the lived ones left behind. I'll bet alot of those on the site who had died did not realise (a) that they were loved and (b) the pain they left behind.
starlight78
03-01-13, 17:08
Barrett, I think so many people on this forum can empathise with those feelings that you are expressing. It is in no way selfish, but shows how desperately you feel.
The thing is depression warps our thinking. It's called the triad of depression, we think everything I crap now, everything has always been crap, and everything will always be crap.. BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE! It's depressive symptoms making you feel like that, it's not real.
I'm sure you've had bad times, but you obviously have good in your life as well with a boyfriend and a home together.
Depression always passes, but suicide is forever.. Please go back to your GP, ask for CBT an get tried on a different anti depressant - read everything you can about depression and find ways to beat it!! X.
Thank you
But right now I am failing college
Have no family or friends
Someone has stolen the little amount of money I had from me
And now I face being homeless
So there definetly doesn't seem a reason to life
No, no, no! Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You're just going through a rough patch at the moment, like I was a couple of months ago, and I'm OK now. I highly doubt that you are unloved at all! There are definitely people out there that care for you, but since you're depressed then you feel like you aren't.
In October, I was kicked off my college course because of my attendance as I was having so much issues going on. I thought that was it, it was the end of the world, but it really wasn't! Of course, I was depressed for a little while afterwards, but I've got past that now, and I'm alright.
You sound like a wonderful caring person with a lot of reasons to live for, please stay strong, and DO NOT give up! I promise you, it will get better for you. :hugs:
If you want someone to talk to, then you can always PM me. I'll be your friend! :happy:
You really need to go and get some help straight away if you are feeling like this. Suicide really isn't the answer. I've had someone in my family do it and it was such a shame. The impact on those left behind was horrible but mostly it's the waste of his life that's the tragic part. As rls says its a permanent thing to a temporary problem. Any type of anxiety and depression can be overcome if you seek help of professionals.
If you feel strongly like you might follow through with these thoughts I would get yourself to hospital now and seek some help.
Hi,
Whereas I do not feel suicidal I can relate to not having anyone to talk to besides my husband. I haven't got any real friends and my family don't care about me. I feel guilty for relying on him so much. Use this site, talk to people on here and use the forums. You are not alone and people will always understand. Depression can get better. Get some help and see a doctor.
Bonnibelle
03-01-13, 21:50
I wasn't saying you're selfish, that's not what I meant but I meant suicide is a selfish act.
I understand what you mean about feeling alone, even though you have a partner, or in my case a husband and children, it's very lonely living with anxiety. You feel noone understands.
I'd go back to your gp, maybe you need a meds change. Don't give up, if I was 18 again I'd not give up. I feel at 33 I'm still young enough to keep fighting, so should you!!
AuntieMoosie
03-01-13, 23:08
Aww hun, I'm so sorry you're in this black space right now, I know what it's like as I've visited it myself and would never want to go back there.
I don't ever believe that anyone "wants" to really die when they're feeling suicidal, I know that I didn't, but what you are so desperate for, is relief and sometimes when we're feeling that bad we, mistakenly, think this will give us the relief that we so badly want :)
It's not the answer though, it "NEVER" is. It will only take away your life, which is so precious, even though you don't think that right now, and it will devastate your family, friends and loved ones, which, I know, you wouldn't really want to do hun :)
You are NOT always going to feel like this, depression lifts and does get better and you must always believe that and NEVER give up.
You will find the right medication for you and it WILL work and it WILL get you better hun :)
Each and every single one of us has always got lots to live for, you are very, very young, you have your whole life ahead of you and just think of all the wonderful things that you can do with your life, all the pleasure that you will get, all the fun, all the love and all the adventures :) Keep remembering this hun, it's only the depression that's making you think negatively, it's the illness, not you hun :)
Please go and see your doctor at the earliest opportunity, make an urgent appointment because this is urgent.
To keep yourself safe, please tell your partner and your family and friends how you're feeling so that they can support you and keep you safe.
There is always a duty psychiatrist available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so if you ever get to feel that you are in serious danger of hurting yourself, please just go straight to A&E, they'll be able to keep you safe and they'll be able to get the duty psychiatrist to assess you immediately.
YOU WILL GET BETTER HUN :) :hugs:
Thank you to every. Who has commented and given me advice.
I suppose depression makes everyone feel like they're alone. I am really struggling to go out and even motivate myself to take my medication. I will call the doctors tomorrow morning and hope they can help me in some way. Tomorrow I am determind to leave my house just for a little work. Its important for me to push myself every day just give myself a little goal. E.g. getting up and dressed, going for a walk, seeing a friend. I hope you're all well. Xx
Just remember its the illness of depression making you feel like this its not YOU.
Hope the doctor can give you some help today and good luck :hugs:
Thank you. I see a councillor weekly and have for years. But its been years and I still feel awful. I am always so depressed and it just drags me down. I just want to be able to enjoy life.
we all do hun. Ive only had this for 7 months and already cant remember how to feel happy and 'normal' like i was before this without constant worries about everytwinge and tweak in my chest! Its a horrible thing we are going through but it can be beaten.
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