ozzie
03-01-13, 02:19
Hello...
It's difficult to know where to start really.
I'm a 40 year old male and I've had depression on and off for a very long time. I was away for 2 years working in Singapore and returned at the end of August 2012. Since about June/July I have been experiencing panic attacks and moderate anxiety, but recently it has been feeling a lot worse. I finally told my doctor on Monday and after a lengthy chat we decided that I needed something to help clear my head and make it easier to think, and I have been taking Sertraline since then. He suggested CBT and has given me a number to call so I can self-refer.
While I was away in Singapore I rented out my flat and agreed to a 3 year tenancy, thinking that was how long I was going to be away for at the least. Due to circumstances beyond my control I ended up only staying over there for 2 years and have ended up living with my elderly dad in the family home. My dad is 84 and needs a lot of care. I have three older sisters who help with the care as well, but they all have their own families and don't live here with him. My dad and I do not have the best of relationships - for lots of reasons - though things are slightly better than before I left for Singapore.
I know a lot of the stress and anxiety I'm feeling is about feeling like the main carer for my dad, and I often do feel resentful towards him even though I know it's not his fault. I'm really missing having my own space but at the moment I can't afford to move out and my flat won't be free until August/September.
My biggest fear is that my anxiety and panic is going to spiral out of control and I won't be able to function at all. Ironically I'm an art psychotherapist (as well as a special needs teacher) and have seen first-hand what anxiety can do to a person. I am so scared I'm going to end up really unwell.
Oz.
It's difficult to know where to start really.
I'm a 40 year old male and I've had depression on and off for a very long time. I was away for 2 years working in Singapore and returned at the end of August 2012. Since about June/July I have been experiencing panic attacks and moderate anxiety, but recently it has been feeling a lot worse. I finally told my doctor on Monday and after a lengthy chat we decided that I needed something to help clear my head and make it easier to think, and I have been taking Sertraline since then. He suggested CBT and has given me a number to call so I can self-refer.
While I was away in Singapore I rented out my flat and agreed to a 3 year tenancy, thinking that was how long I was going to be away for at the least. Due to circumstances beyond my control I ended up only staying over there for 2 years and have ended up living with my elderly dad in the family home. My dad is 84 and needs a lot of care. I have three older sisters who help with the care as well, but they all have their own families and don't live here with him. My dad and I do not have the best of relationships - for lots of reasons - though things are slightly better than before I left for Singapore.
I know a lot of the stress and anxiety I'm feeling is about feeling like the main carer for my dad, and I often do feel resentful towards him even though I know it's not his fault. I'm really missing having my own space but at the moment I can't afford to move out and my flat won't be free until August/September.
My biggest fear is that my anxiety and panic is going to spiral out of control and I won't be able to function at all. Ironically I'm an art psychotherapist (as well as a special needs teacher) and have seen first-hand what anxiety can do to a person. I am so scared I'm going to end up really unwell.
Oz.