Bristolchap
03-01-13, 10:56
Hi everyone. Happy New Year!
I'm getting married on Feb 1st and been with my fiancee approximately 3 years. I'm a caucasian, 30 year old male and prior to being with my fiancee I had a period of a couple of years when I had a approximately 5-7 female sexual partners (combination of short relationships and one night stands with single women in their 20's and a single mum in her late 20's, totalling about 10-15 times of sexual intercourse and one anal intercourse).
Please don't think me reckless but alcohol played a part in most of these and I cannot remember if condoms were used in any of these encounters. I was foolish and didn't take the risks seriously or really even realise the risks.
Now I've met my soulmate and I've put her at risk as we've been having unprotected sex for the entire time we've been together.
We want to start trying for a baby in the next couple of months but it hit me like a lightning bolt in the last couple of months that I may have put her at risk and therefore would be taking a risk having a baby.
I'm totally wracked with worry and it's making me ill, it's all I think about all day long from the moment I wake to the moment I go to bed. If I've infected her then I don't see how I could live with myself. The prospect of taking a test is terrifying as a positive result would ruin my life.
I feel like a person who's always learnt from their mistakes but this would be one mistake (many mistakes) that I couldn't bounce back from.
I don't think I can discuss this with anyone, least of all my fiancee as I don't want to inflict the panic on her that I feel.
Just don't know what to do. Anyone been in a similar situation.
I'm getting married on Feb 1st and been with my fiancee approximately 3 years. I'm a caucasian, 30 year old male and prior to being with my fiancee I had a period of a couple of years when I had a approximately 5-7 female sexual partners (combination of short relationships and one night stands with single women in their 20's and a single mum in her late 20's, totalling about 10-15 times of sexual intercourse and one anal intercourse).
Please don't think me reckless but alcohol played a part in most of these and I cannot remember if condoms were used in any of these encounters. I was foolish and didn't take the risks seriously or really even realise the risks.
Now I've met my soulmate and I've put her at risk as we've been having unprotected sex for the entire time we've been together.
We want to start trying for a baby in the next couple of months but it hit me like a lightning bolt in the last couple of months that I may have put her at risk and therefore would be taking a risk having a baby.
I'm totally wracked with worry and it's making me ill, it's all I think about all day long from the moment I wake to the moment I go to bed. If I've infected her then I don't see how I could live with myself. The prospect of taking a test is terrifying as a positive result would ruin my life.
I feel like a person who's always learnt from their mistakes but this would be one mistake (many mistakes) that I couldn't bounce back from.
I don't think I can discuss this with anyone, least of all my fiancee as I don't want to inflict the panic on her that I feel.
Just don't know what to do. Anyone been in a similar situation.