Derealization/Afraid I'm in a coma. Losing my mind.

[turtleonaleash]

Hi All,

I haven't posted here in a very long time but I've reached a new low point. I'm a 24 year old female and I've been battling panic attacks and agoraphobia for the last three years straight. I took Citalopram last year and it helped a lot and then I was feeling so great I decided to come off it. I was fine for a few months but now I'm terrified to leave my house again. I've been back on 20mg of Citalopram for 4 weeks now (as well as 15mg Mirtazapine) and I am in a constant state of panic. For the last month and a bit I've been afraid that I'm not really here, I'm afraid everything is a dream or worse - I'm laying in a hospital bed in a coma somewhere and this is all just my imagination. Yesterday I went out for a bit with my dad and I was convinced I was going to kill myself. I was so afraid I was going to drive my car into on coming traffic. I didn't want to, but I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I was supposed to return to college yesterday but I just couldn't. I've been trying to get in with the psychiatrist I use to see but he can't see me until March!

My friends and family members are all so disappointed in me.

I've never experienced this feeling before. Could it be a side effect from the Citalopram? I have been reading on here that once you just "accept' it, it will eventually pass, but I just can't. I try and try but I just end up more hysterical. Any words of advice on how to make this blasted thing go away is greatly appreciated.

-Jacqueline

[Mark13]

You're here, you're real. You're not in a coma. You are not losing your mind.

Although I would be very careful about driving when you're feeling this way.

I've had derealisation for 34 years following brain surgery (although it was probably due to the health trauma rather than brain injury).

That sounds bad but I've never met (either in real life or online, you know what I mean) anyone who's had this for anywhere near as long.

My point is, I'm still here, happily married, not gone mad. Basically I just embraced the DR and got used to it, after thinking I was going crazy for a couple of years, but most people recover from it - it's a defence mechanism apparently.

The difference between me in 1978 (at the age of 12) and you now in 2013, is that you have people to talk to who will understand - us.

If it's being caused by the Citalopram though then you may want to discuss alternatives with your Doctor.

[Nightform]

I feel the same way, I thought I'm in a coma in a hospital from when a hammer was lodged into my head when i was 15, and this is all a dream, but i feel better after reading this topic, I'm 23

[Stormsky]

Derealisation and depersonalisation are symptoms of extreme Anx..
Try not to panic, keep distracted, they do die off when you clam the Anx down

[steveo]

HEy Jacqueline.

Just want to let you know that you're not alone. I took took 20mg Citalopram and came off last year because I felt great. I was then fine for a few months and then felt TERRIBLE again. Then tried getting back on the medication and was in a world of hell, just as you are now. I felt constant panic and anxiety and the DP/DR was unbearable.

Stay strong. Try and get some diazepam to make life more bearable for a short period of time.

Steven x