burying my mom on Sunday [Archive]

swgrl09

07-01-13, 13:01

We are burying my mom's ashes Sunday, January 13th. That is the 2-year anniversary of the day she died.

We didn't do anything with them because we did not know what she would have wanted and my dad was not ready to part with her ... it sounds creepy, I know, just how things happened I guess.

I finally asked if we could do this on this date to honor her. Now I almost regret it because I am depressed and panicking like crazy. Yesterday my dad called to tell me what time it would be and then my grandma sent me a depressing email about it. Then I had a freak-out and sobbed for a while.

Now I am anxious about everything again. Just struggling overall. I wish it was summer.

ElizabethJane

07-01-13, 13:14

Hi sorry to hear that your Mum has died. You have probably been waiting for closure and the burying of the ashes will be the final part. My Dad died last April 2011 but he was buried the same day. Try not to dwell on the email from your Nan. People say some strange things when they are bereaved. Hopefully you will find some comfort from the service and will be able to move on. EJ forgot to say that my Dad was buried with my Mum (twenty odd years apart) He wanted to stay with her.

MrsStobe13

07-01-13, 13:18

So sorry to hear of your loss, I can't relate entirely but my fiancé lost his Mum when he was five and his Dad has never been the same since. It doesn't sound creepy at all that your Dad doesn't want to part with your Mum, she was his wife. My future father in law still says goodnight to his wife and he has a tattoo on his arm honouring her. As hard as it will be for you all to bury her ashes it is a big step in the healing process. Talk to your Dad about your feelings, you need to all pull together at this difficult time.

Always here if you need to chat :)

Helen

Edie

07-01-13, 13:54

You probably know from last year that anniversaries are always tough. Burying the ashes is a big step. I hope it goes smoothly and brings you peace afterwards.

Annie0904

07-01-13, 18:32

Thinking of you and sending hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

swgrl09

07-01-13, 18:36

Thank you everybody. I hope so too. Things have been tough so hoping this gives us a little closure.

wazza

07-01-13, 20:36

aww sweetheart.. so sorry about your loss, some of your previous posts now make sense to me. keep in touch with us if yoy need to

tace care (((hugs)))

Col

07-01-13, 21:07

:hugs:

AuntieMoosie

08-01-13, 01:58

I'm so sorry hun.

Please know that I'll have you in my thoughts.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Serenitie

08-01-13, 02:24

We are burying my mom's ashes Sunday, January 13th. That is the 2-year anniversary of the day she died.

We didn't do anything with them because we did not know what she would have wanted and my dad was not ready to part with her ... it sounds creepy, I know, just how things happened I guess.

I finally asked if we could do this on this date to honor her. Now I almost regret it because I am depressed and panicking like crazy. Yesterday my dad called to tell me what time it would be and then my grandma sent me a depressing email about it. Then I had a freak-out and sobbed for a while.

Now I am anxious about everything again. Just struggling overall. I wish it was summer.

Hi lovely,

I think it is a lovely gesture to your Mum to honour & and remember her this way on the second anniversary of her passing. I don't think that it is at all creepy that your Dad kept her ashes for so long. It is immensely difficult & painful to let go of loved ones. I think that you and your family will find some closure and peace in this process.

Your feelings are completely normal. You are still grieving and hurting. Try not to focus on a negativity around you right now. Focus on the beautiful relationship you had with your Mum, all of the happy memories and how proud she would be of you and how you are honouring her.

Make this day what you want it to be. Do the things and say the words that will honour your Mum and move you forward with your grief.

I'll be thinking of you and wish you well as always.

Sending you love and strength.

Cat :hugs: xxx

swgrl09

08-01-13, 12:38

Thank you everybody for your supportive words :hugs:

I had a good therapy session last night, got a lot of feelings out and cried in therapy for the first time. I always cry alone or with my fiance, never been able to in front of my therapist but did this time. Just a lot of unfinished stuff with my mom too ...

I will make the day abotu my relationship with my mom, not the other drama.