ive got something to tell you all

[juju]

my name is julie,
im going to be really brave now and let you all into a secret........here goes
about three years ago when i had bad depression i started gambling, i just had no emotion i think i was escaping or trying to escape from myself if you know what i mean. anyway over the course of the three years i racked up 43,000 worth of debt, yes you read it right, disgusting isnt it. i started drawing money out on credit cards to fund it so my husband wouldnt find out, then i would take out a loan to repay it because the interest was too high, and i would swear to myself that this was it- no more, anyway to cut a massive story short 3 personal loans and an extra job later(to pay for the loans) i finally told my husband and risked it all -him leaving me- everything. that was 6 months ago now. i think this was breaking point which triggered the panic, from then on i stopped ALL gambling have not been anywhere near in all this time, you know seeing my husbands face with the tears falling down his face nearly crippled me, and i am so so lucky that he never left me and the children. i now have a debt plan and i am paying it off sensibly, i know it will take me years but as long as i still have my family then that is all that matters. my husband knows the guilt i bear, i have to learn to accept it and carry on somehow. i give myself no excuses apart from the depression and totally blocking the world and its consequences out
thankyou all for listening, apart from my husband there is no-one else who knows
dont think too badly of me
im a nice person
i love my family very much
i am so sorry
julie

we are all stronger people after having this

[nomorepanic]

Julie

Wow - well done you for opening up and telling us all that.

Don't be sorry and no-one here will think badly of you atall in any shape or form.

It was brave of you to tell us and I hope that it has helped in some small way.

Well done on telling your husband and getting it under control before it got much much worse. Hopefully you can start to get back in control now and look forward to when the debt is paid off.

We all have our ways of coping with things when it gets too much - I used to drink way way too much and was getting drunk every night just to cope. That was my way of dealing with it all.

I think you have been very brave to open up like this.

Nicola

[polly daydream]

Hi Julie, don't be to hard on yourself these things happen, at least you know what you have done is wrong, not everybody can admit to a mistake, well done. You have a very supporting husband, he must be a great man. At least now you are trying to sort the debt out and will one day be free of it, like you say you have still got the most important thing in your life your family, I always say life is to short to worry and to feel guilty so accept your mistake and move on.

you are a brave lady to share this with us.

Take care,

Polly

[honeybee3939]

Julie,

No one thinks badly of you, i think you are trying so hard to sort it out !!

A BIG WELL done for that Julie!! I for one have made big mistakes in my life, we live and learn dont we Julie, like you say we just have to accept it and carry on !!

Love

Andrea

xxxx

[Piglet]

<center>((((((J))))))</center>

Love Piglet xx

[juju]

wow thankyou all so much, i am sitting here in tears, i never expected any replies i just needed to get it out you know
thankyou
julie

we are all stronger people after having this

[tnt808]

You are a strong person for having gone through what you have. I wish you lotsa luck and I think it's great that you shared your story with us all.


Good luck,

Tina

[jill]

Hi Julie :D

I admire you sooo much for coming on hear and telling your story. We all make mistakes in life, but the most important thing is to learn from them and move on.

**we are all stronger people after having this** this is sooo true, Julie, you are a stonger person now and have a great family behind you. You are moving forward WELL DONE.

good luck with everything.

You take care

LOVE JILLXX

Friends are those people who ask how you are
and then wait to hear he answer, (we are all friends on here:D )

[trevor]

hi,,

my sister has a similar problem right now she is on the bandits all day everyday she neglets her kds and spends around £250 a day she gets loans to pay off loans i dont know what to do with her shes in her own little world ,,

she wont admit she has a problem ,
her hubby is in the royal navy so hes away 3-6 months ata time he knows nothing

should i tell him??

really stressful at the minute with her,

trevor,

better to fight for something than to live for nothing

[Coni]

Hi Julie,

just wanted to send you a big hug and let you know I think you've been very brave. You faced this and tackled it and your doing so well. Please dont feel bad...I'm sure we've all done stuff we wish we hadnt.... I know I have. And I think problems with debt and credit cards are unfortunately really common.

Well done.... I wish you could bottle your courage and send me some!

Take care

Coni X

I really admire you

[hayles]

Well done for sharing your secrets.


Hay x

[juju]

thanks for all your replies its very kind of you all.
trevor, you say your sister has a problem, she will only listen to herself unfortunately, she probably is in her own world at the mo, i wouldnt tell her husband, but i would ask her to stop and if she doesnt then you should pretend you are going to tell him. if this wont work try taking her and the kids out e.g nothing expensive just to the park/ walks/ anything to occupy her mind, it really is hard to stop but once you see the light it becomes reality. unfortunately she will then have to deal with the guilt issue which maybe shes avoiding also. gulit over leaving the kids, spending housekeeping, lying, etc it just goes on.
let me know how you get on, and tell her from me that life just gets better once you accept yourself for what you are and what you have.
take care
julie*

we are all stronger people after having this

[Paddington]

Helo Julie.I think you are very bravre for telling your story to all,abd Nic is right ,no one here will judge you!Look,already you are helpijg trev with his problem with his sister!That is what happens here,one person speaks out and many others give a collective sigh of relief that they are not the 'only ones'!I am so happy 4 yu that you have sorted your debt out ,it must have been terrifying at the time ,telling your hubby etc,WELL DONE YOU!Love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[yorkylover]

Hi Julie I think you have been fantastic opening up like you have.Depression can make you do many things.You also have a fab hubby who must love you very much.I have a brother who has bipolar disorder,he used to go on massive spending sprees as a feel good thing.
You have been brilliant by getting it all sorted.Well done.:):)

Ellen XX

[chop]

I drank and gambled immensely for a while but have stopped completely now.

Good to open up. Gambling is like a drug sometimes. Rush.

Keep up the good work :)

Paul

Learning to under react

[Meg]

Juju

Think you just made another great step in your overall recovery by letting that ghost out and seeing that you will not be harshly judged.. we all have our own issues and can all agree that facing them and admitting our coping mechanisms is one of the hardest things to do...

So well done for taking back control in your life and yes, you are a wonderful person- you just proved it !

Good luck


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[Ness]

Juju dont ever forget that your a fantastic person. Your advice has helped me out through some very difficult situations., and made me feel so much better about myself We all make mistakes, and eventually we have to learn to forgive ourselves.

:)

Lots of love

Ness xoxoxoxo

[juju]

thankyou, you wonderful people.
*******************************
i wish you all a fantastic recovery and good health.
julie

we are all stronger people after having this