View Full Version : went for a walk, feel like i failed
Wannabeloved85
29-08-06, 21:32
Ive just been for a walk with my mum, i went out of my usual comfort zone {usually 6-7 doors down} and i almost reached the bottom of the street, i turned around, panicked. Breathing went into serious overdrive. walked back up, panicking, couldnt calm my breathing, or my thoughts, i hit my comfort point calmed down.
Walked up to my house and past and walked onto the next street {my sisters street} walked half way on there, almost knocked a poor guy over through my stupidity {and my very fussy dog} decided to turn around and walk back, panicked again, everything so unfamiliar {This is my neighbourhood!} Breathing on one AGAIN i mean seriously bad breathing, not enough air, gonna faint etc. 2 kids on skate boards behind me,startled me, reminded me of a time i went into serious panic overdrive after a car door startled me.:(
I took rescue remedy, felt soo tired and only been out 5 mins. started to walk up the street, but decided to turn back, i was tired.
so here i am feeling like ive failed, yet i know ive done good. every step, is just that, a step. a step towards recovery. yet i feel like im not going to win. I think the breathing thing is my majour worry. my first ever attack was hyperventilating and im sooo scared of that[V]
My mum is now on one saying that i should of just accepted the fear, and that i used to push her further no matter what, But i didnt know how it felt back then! when i tried helping mum i didnt know anything about this, NOTHING :( i just thought i was helping, i didnt know you could actually be afraid of leaving home etc. now i understand etc and i HATE being pushed, bullied into going further by family members and friends, yet because i did it to mum before, she keeps lecturing me on how i pushed her. i dunno what im ranting about, panic or family issues! [:P]
ah well. oh... breathing techniques etc, any help there? that hyperventilating is freaky stuff, i read you can faint from overbreathing :(:([V]:(
Becci x
P.s never walk a fussy dog when your not used to walking! you get dragged all over and might even pull a muscle [B)]ouch!
<center>:D((((B)))):D</center>
You did fab you know you did - each time you do just a little bit it will get just a tad easier. I know what you mean about being bullied into doing stuff and although we all do need a kick up the backside from time to time, I find myself I do better if it's me wanting to do it!!
You keep going sweetheart you're doing grand :D
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
try and put that behind you now you can only go forward, and wether you believe it or not you are getting better each and every time you do this, it will get easier, we all just need a bit of patience
take care
julie
we are all stronger people after having this
Hi Becci,
You have NOT failed at all, you went out and did your best. thats great news, WELL DONE. Becci, know matter how small the step, its a step towards recovery, I know its dame hard but be proud of yourself.
Your Mum is only trying to help, but us mums can push a little to much at times, but we don't mean to, we just want are children to be better.
Can you talk to your Mum and ask her to make smaller goals for you?
I have a daughter who suffered pa's, anxiety from a very early age (3) At the age of 12 she was alot better, know pa's, just some anxiety from time to time. She had a blip is feb this year, had a pa in school. The school became her unsafe Zone for months. It took alot of small steps to get her back into school but she did it, time and small steps are the way forward. I bet if you talked to my daughter she would say I pushed her at times, I would say nudge her in the right direction.
You are doing great Becci, keep going, you WILL get there in the end, small steps, the smaller the better to widen your safe Zone.
TAKE CARE
LOVE JILLXX
hi becci,
if you have failed so have i,,
i can get about 1 mile from my home but yesterday i went in my mates van to pick up a washer (he only lives round the corner from me) so it wasnt that hard we got the washer for me then we got back in the van and he decided to go a different way i JUMPED OUT THE VAN and made up some STUPID EXCUSE and said i would meet him back at his house,,
initially i did look at this as a failure BUT WE CANT cause i will just keep wearing us down so come on girl chin up and look at it as a small step one which we all make and fail ,
i sort of feel worse cause im a guy HUH SOME GUY,
anyways come on lets get on with this and do our best ok,,
take care my friend,,
trevor,
better to fight for something than to live for nothing
honeybee3939
29-08-06, 23:51
Becci !
You have done great ! WELL DONE !
I remember so well the weeks, months i went on the journey down the street and had to turn back,it was so hard to leave the comfort zone! keep trying Becci, a step futhur every day is they way to do it,thats what i did and it worked! you will get there, just like i did. i am proud of you!
Love
Andrea
xxx
You should be feeling very proud of yourself. you did brilliantly, and coped brilliantly too. Well Done to you :D
Now next time you do it you won't feel as bad as you did this time, it will get easier, but as I learnt from my psychologist who worked with me with my needle phobia, if you avoid the situation for too long, the anxiety gets worse, but if you stick with the anxiety, you will start to feel less anxious. My psychologist did an exercise with me for example she had me watching a video of somebody having an injection, and she asked where was my anxiety on a level of 1 - 100 before I had even looked at the video, and it was 100, so she put the video on, and she asked me again where was my anxiety, it had gone down to about 80 at this stage, and so on until my anxiety was down to 10, and now I can watch a video with very little anxiety now.
Take care
Love
Clare
polly daydream
30-08-06, 09:16
Hi Becci, well done you are certainly not a failure, you are doing really well, keep trying and you will get there in the end.
Take care,
Polly x
Hi Becci
You should be proud!!You attempted to go out of your comfort zone,which is a HUGE step
Put it behind you and move on to the next
Well done!!
Hunny x
Hi Becci
You have done well to get to the distance you did. Don't be in a rush to go any further, do it in your own time, when you feel ready. That time will come, and if you can't manage it for a few days or more don;t worry, focus on the fact that you actually went out and made it to your comfort zone. Push the boundaries when you feel ready.
Take care
Angie x
Wannabeloved85
30-08-06, 10:19
hi guys
Thanks soo much for your very kind words. I only went because i figured its best to start now then to never start. your all so right, the longer you leave it, the harder it gets.
before i left, i read a few success stories {now my favourite catagory in this forum!} and thought about how you have to feel the fear to overcome it, so i figured " make a start, maybe feel crap for a while or just sit around, go nowhere and have no future!" i picked the easier one, i went out!
My life ended one day, and i think lastnight i might have started livng again, big words i know, but my life has to start somewhere.
Becci x
polly daydream
30-08-06, 12:08
Good on you Becci, keep up the good work, promise you will get there in the end.
Take care,
Polly x
missacorah
30-08-06, 17:32
You have done marvellously! You are being too hard on yourself my sweet!
When i try to go out I just think Im gonna have a walk and get as far as I can and then I will turn back and be happy I have had some fresh air. If I get further than that, all well and good. For example 2 days ago I planned to go for a walk round the block. When I got to the top of the road, I felt grand so continued to the shop and went in and bought a magazine - still felt fine so went back in and got some chewing gum. Felt a but funny on the way home but did it! I feel if I set myself tiny targets I am even more deighted when I pass them by!
Becci
I was soooooooooo pleased to read this . Why on earth is it not in the success catagory ?? Please could someone move it there.
You have done really, really well and we are all very proud of you for what you achieved.
Not only did you go beyond comfort zone one way but after panicing and hyperventilating you carried on walking the other way and didn't just flee home and take refuge on the sofa. You did great.
Maybe next time get past your current comfort zone and just go another 2 doors down, (not try to get to the end of the road just yet ) and just stand and wait there for a few moments and then progress another door at a time slowly - its not a race . If you feel you're hyperventilating just cup your hands over your mouth and stand and breathe through those for a minute or two until you settle right there and then either return a few steps or as you master it , go on a few yards more.
Remember it's key to talk positively and optimistically to yourself and nuture yourself onwards to confidence.
You take care and really praise yourself for your efforts and achievements.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress
Good job, Becci! Failed? Sorry, don't recognise the word, did you make it up? Does it mean the same as succeeded?
Two things are useful for hyperventilation. The first is the good, old trusty brown paper bag. You carry it everywhere with you and when you feel as if you are starting to breathe too fast, breathe into the paper bag. It replaces the carbon dioxide in your blood and will calm you down.
Second thing is breathing exercises. You probably breathe from your upper respiratory tract and you should be breathing using your tummy. You need to relearn how to breathe, because you may have forgotten! Sounds pretty stupid, huh? Get the free ebook I always mention and there are two breathing exercises in there that will help a lot.
alicia
This helped me (so I don't go on about it!):
www.alphadynamics.com
Wannabeloved85
01-09-06, 18:20
aww! thankyou soooo much guys! thats made my day that! i was just thinking bout how i dont feel upto a walk tonight cos i have headache, but i might just go now!
Take care guys
Becci x
P.s ill keep the breathing techniques in mind, alicia i already breathe with my tummy, i read about that and now when im relaxing and just befre i sleep ill breathe pushing my belly out not moving my chest.
it is through the nose thought isnt it?!
I think you did great. :D The key is you did it and you pushed the boundary. That takes courage. It's natural that you felt high anxiety.
It's the road to recovery. You have to do things that push you so that you build confidence gradually. It won't change overnight, but as you chip away at things you'll look back in months to come and see steps of achievement.
Congratulations on a success.
Cheers,
Trev
In through the nose, and out through the mouth, Becci. Try the single nostril breathing exercise, that can work wonders but you have to do it regularly.
alicia
This helped me (so I don't go on about it!):
www.alphadynamics.com
Wannabeloved85
02-09-06, 09:51
i read on a nother post that it in and out through nose only! i try the out through the mouth but it worsens it.
Really? That's weird. That's what you do with the single nostril breathing, but the other breathing exercise is based on Prana Yoga breathing and it's in through the nose and out through the mouth. But go with what works for you.[^]
alicia
This helped me (so I don't go on about it!):
www.alphadynamics.com
Wannabeloved85
02-09-06, 10:03
thanks alicia. oh... im sure i read on the map thread that your from sheffield? im near there, im in rotherham
Yep, Sheffield born and bred:D but only recently back from godforsaken Fulham.
alicia
This helped me (so I don't go on about it!):
www.alphadynamics.com
Don't get too hung up on nostril / mouth etc. There are lots of varieties of breathing techniques in yoga using alternate nostrils and different timings. That's too in depth for this in my opinion.
The key really for panic control is to ensure that your out breath is longer than your in breath.
The simplest way if you are not used to it is to use counting. For example 1,2,3 for the in breath and 1,2,3,4,5 for the out breath. If you can then leave a gap before starting your next in breath.
This timing is just an example. Use what feels comfortable to you. And to stop you rushing it you can stick the word "thousand" or "elephant!" between each number.
Don't get too hung up on "am I doing it right?" as you might then start getting anxious about that!! The key is to have a longer outbreath. If you can manage it focus your attention on the breath and this can bring a calming sensation.
Without wishing to overload you, you can put your hand on your stomach so that you make sure you are breathing properly. The stomach should move up and down. However, it's more important at this stage that you don't strain to take in big deep breaths as this will just make you more uncomfortable. Keep it simple and just focus on bringing steadiness and calm to the breathing and make that outbreath the long one......like a sigh.
Cheers,
Trev
Wannabeloved85
02-09-06, 12:28
thanks for that trev!
I knew it was something about longer out breath. i think i heard, inhaling long breaths increases anxiety! so ill remember longer breaths out! and the elephants! lol i can just see mself now, walking down the street with a herd of elephants!
Becci x
Stick with the elephants, they will sort you out ;) :D
They will drag you along the street.....just don't tell anyone else....they might think you are a bit odd!! [:o)]
The breath is a funny one really. We can all induce horrible feelings by deliberately over breathing (or hyperventilating) that's why I sometimes think it's best not to get too hung up about it as sometimes we can make it worse. Just simply try to focus and slow the breath down a bit and make the out breath longer. Don't strain the breathing in any way just let it be natural.
One that I liked to use was to imagine yourself getting heavy and sinking into the floor......best done lying down but not necessary when you've got the hang of it. If you practice this in the quiet of your own room you will realise just how tense you are because you will find that by really relaxing and letting go to the heavy feeling a whole new level of relaxation appears.
Anyway, I'll leave it there as I tend to waffle on. In a nutshell, stick with the elephants!
Wannabeloved85
03-09-06, 15:22
I went for another walk! my brother decided to be a littl clever though and humiliated me infront of the neighbours so i came in. BUT! the elephants worked! well, theyre actually pink, so they more like heffalumps! lol 1 heffalump, 2 heffalumps! next minute im making a heffalump poem! not a good idea sanity wise but good for distracting!
Becci x
Lol Becci - well done hun. :D:D
I'm with Trev on trying to keep the breathing simple - I have and do practice alternate nostril breathing and I have read many articles that say only breathe in and out through the nose and then yet more that advocate breathing out through the mouth.
Again much like Trev I find if I make the out breath just that little bit longer it really helps to calm me down and equalise all the different gases going in and out of the body [:I][:I][:I] well we won't discuss that I dont think.
I sometimes time each breath with the amount of steps I can take ie: I can walk 4 steps, saying to myself 'In 2, 3, 4, Out 5, 6, 7, 8. I quite like doing that as it occupies my head!!!
You just keep pottering slowly mate it all helps!!!
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Wannabeloved85
03-09-06, 16:16
thanks piglet,
I actually tried counting my steps once, but it went wrong! i counted as i walked down the street, got to 55, then i turned and like i div i started counting again! im thinking GREAT! only 55 steps to go till i get home and im on 1!!!! lol next time ill count continuously or backwords, that helps! or my heffalump poem hehe
Becci x
Pink Heffalumps are perfect.....maybe dressed in purple tutu's? The sillier the better in my opinion. The more you can introduce humour and just letting go and having fun, the better it is. Anxiety stuff can get very serious at times.
Well done for going for another walk :D If people try to humiliate you then ignore them and think of your heffalumps and keep marching on. Who gives a toss what people think?
Funnily enough it reminds me of a comment by Prof Pauls Salkovskis at last years Anxiety Conference in London. He said that anxiety and panic only tends to affect nice people!! So look at that as a positive.
Piglet, do you do alternate Pringle licking as well? [:o)] And as for equalising all of your gases, it reminds me of your wedding story!!.......hilarious. :D
Cheers,
Trev
Becci,
Heffalumps, elephants, buffalo whatever. Yes , the out breath needs to be longer than the in breaths.
You're doing great by finding something you can make your own and now use it to make up a story that you can think about and immerse yourself in when you walk as a distraction so keep adding in the tutus, wand, leather leggings etc
You keep going...
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress
Becci I have tried counting my total steps too and agree with you about it telling you how many you need to get home again [:O]
I actually meant just counting in respect of the breaths in and out and timing it with your natural steps - you never get to use numbers above about 8 cos you cant hold or release for longer than that usually. Four steps equals one breath in and six steps equals the breath back out.
Lol - I hope I am not confusing you here :D:D:D:D do you get what I mean now??
Trev - I have to seriously rethink the whole Pringle thing as I have put on a bit weight over this summer, so now back to pringles once a month, oh but that day is such a very lovely one!!![Sigh...]:D:D:D
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Sorry i havent got any advice but im in the same situation, you havent failed just another step
Becci,
As Meg suggested, I've moved this on to the success stories section, despite your title...:D
You're doing just great and just get there slowly and you will get a result to savour.
Onwatds and Upwards,
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
mad_shell66
05-09-06, 09:27
well done!
that is real good as you managed to at least get somewhere.
you just need to take it a step at a time and maybe convince yourself you can do it?
good luck
shell xx
Southern_Belle
05-09-06, 15:46
Becci,
I think you are just doing great and should give yourself a huge pat on the back. Thinking of ways to cope and staying positive are the best ways to fight back. Wanting to get your life back (your words) and trying to do it are just so brave and you should be commended. I agree this is such a success story. Keep walking!
Bel
"Our thoughts are our reality"
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