Are you a giver or a taker? And why?

[paula lynne]

I am a member because I feel I like to, or need to, help and support others. It makes me feel good about myself, not superior, but just knowing that I can talk someone through their anxiety makes me feel better about myself, like Im vital, and contributing, because Im still doing what I used to do when I was nursing. Which I can no longer do, that was my other life.

When I say givers I mean...those who despite their problems seem to be able to want to help others. When I say takers, Im talking to those who post about themselves but rarely help or support others. Now, Im not saying either is wrong, they are both vital to this forum. Just interested.

What are you? And why do you post? :blush:
Are you a giver, or a taker, and why?
Do you the givers, feel embarrassed about asking for help yourself, like me?
Do you, the takers, feel you cant contribute when others need help?
Paula x

[Arnie365]

Hi Paula,

I think we evolve over time. I started off as a taker when i first came on here always looking for reassurance from others who have the same symptoms as me though I didnt register for ages so just viewed as a guest.

I like to think Im now a giver (not sure on the quality of the advice lol). I find it helpful to me as well though as I think my hopefully positive messages I give others reflects back into my own mind reinforcing the messages.

[PanchoGoz]

I am the same as you Paula. Nice to hear someone else say it :) I also think helping others puts us on a higher plane than our anxieties when we are helping others with the same thing.

[paula lynne]

Arnie....(I'll be back).....thanks for your reply x:shades: (Give me your jacket and motorcyle, and we will say no more about it)
I agree, its interesting, Ive just rejoined, but even looking back over my origonal threads etc, I came here for help but it evolved into me helping and supporting others, which in turn, helped me. I like your analogy of helping others makes your mind feel positive about you. Interesting! :)

---------- Post added at 19:14 ---------- Previous post was at 19:12 ----------

Pancho, long time no see, I remember you with fondness.
Its great that you feel that helping others moves us "up" in ourselves....what a wonderful thought. Maybe thats why I do it, Im getting a virtual "high"?
Hope all is well x
:noangel:

---------- Post added at 19:15 ---------- Previous post was at 19:14 ----------

Ok, a few givers.......no takers?:ohmy:

[PanchoGoz]

I've been on here everyday, we've just been too busy giving to to others we haven't come across each other :roflmao:


Ok, a few givers.......no takers?:ohmy:

They won't admit to that, you need to give it a more attractive name :winks:

[Arnie365]

Seekers?

[NoPoet]

I came here in fear and despair, not knowing what the hell I was going through. I was a wreck of a man. When I started feeling better, I wondered why so many people go through this hell and what the authorities are doing to stop it.

Apart from the late Claire Weekes, it didn't seem like we had a champion or a leader in the fight against anxious illness. In fact, it's not really a fight at all. We have millions of people living in horror while anxiety and depression take us over one person at a time. It's a species-wide surrender.

My opinion is that anxiety and depression can kiss my arse. I will surrender to them when the moon is proven to be made of edam cheese. I hate them on a total level: I hate what they are, what they do and why they exist. There is no reason for us to have them and I would inflict genocide on them. I'd bin them to oblivion and laugh as they were flushed away.

I despise them for taking hold of me and causing me, through my own weakness, to throw away whatever chances of happiness came along, until suddenly there were no more chances and I was a bitter, angry shadow-person living a shadow-life of dreams and memories that were all full of fear. I hate that I was not a better person to my family and loved ones. I revile the idea of how much I've lost and how many bridges are permanently burned. I can see myself with new eyes, and I can see a trail of destruction leading all the way through my past and up to the present day.

They have taken things from me, but these things are mine, and I'm taking them back. I can't build bridges backwards, as Claire Weekes said, but I can keep moving forward into a future with new friends and new opportunities, where I am in charge and anxiety and depression are my little shackled bitches, yowling as they clutch their thoroughly smacked bottoms. Silence, pathetic bitch-whores! I'm trying to watch Stargate Universe!

I wage war on them like Michael waged war on Lucifer: a war of brothers brought together by hate and treason rather than love. There is no forgiveness in me for anxiety or depression. I have no mercy for them. Let God forgive them - I'm not the Lord of the Universe, I'm just a man who said "For God's sake, enough!"

So basically I'm a giver.

[wazza]

respect. we are are all both, just at different times and to different degrees. ive had enough too. time to fight back

[Serenitie]

I've been a giver all of my life (happily) but left one person out - me! I continue to be a giver, but prioritise my own needs first now which is essential to good mental health. If you can recognise your own worth, needs & dreams and strive to meet them, you are in a much better position to support others :)

[PanchoGoz]

Silence, pathetic bitch-whores!
I so completely read that in Ian McKellan's voice?! :roflmao:

[paula lynne]

Pancho, all I saw was "thoroughly smacked bottoms...." and its definately Sir Ian McKellan...:) Will look over your post tomorrow Poet, but from my speed read, I know its going to be awesome, as always........ and thanks x

[Col]

I've been on here everyday, we've just been too busy giving to to others we haven't come across each other :roflmao:



They won't admit to that, you need to give it a more attractive name :winks:

Haha:roflmao:, exactly what I was thinking the minute I saw the title of this thread :whiplash::whiplash:

[paula lynne]

Still no takers/seekers?

---------- Post added at 22:26 ---------- Previous post was at 22:26 ----------

COL....nice to meet you, in a virtual sense, and....behave! :D

[Col]

:roflmao:Least I'm going to bed laughing xxx

[paula lynne]

Im glad :D Gnite x :whistles:

---------- Post added at 22:33 ---------- Previous post was at 22:32 ----------

Anyone??

[xdavex]

Both I guess, though some issues I cannot relate to, but its a 2 way learning process I think.

[gemtree]

Giver I think, but I feel that this forum allows me to take by looking at the experience of others and then I learn more more about people in the same situation as me.

It's such a relief not to feel misunderstood and just know if needed I could let off steam, and try and help others letting off steam meanwhile when I am about.

[AuntieMoosie]

I'm more a giver :)

I love to try to help people if I'm able, the problem I have is following my own advice!!

Humans all need a good support system round them, none of us could possibly manage on our own, I'm talking about everyone, not just those of us with anxiety and panic:)

We also have to learn to look after ourselves and seek help, support and comfort when we need it, because we can't possibly start to help others if we're falling apart ourselves :)

But, for me, being able to try and help others kind of gives me more strength to deal with the things that I need to deal with. I find it helpful to read what others say, we can all learn so much from each other I feel :)

So to round it all up, I'd say that we're all a bit of both really, we seek help when we need it in order to be able to help others :)

[olderfella]

I would say i have been more of a taker when i was ill but although i have not posted for a long time i do pass by and read posts,i have had quiet a while without severe anxiety and panic and truly grateful for the help and support i got from the members on here,i often feel guilty for not staying and helping others where possible but sometimes when i read posts it gives me the odd rush of adrenaline(fear),i need to man up a bit and i should try to help others without thinking it will take me backwards

[spottitchsam]

I would say i have been more of a taker when i was ill but although i have not posted for a long time i do pass by and read posts,i have had quiet a while without severe anxiety and panic and truly grateful for the help and support i got from the members on here,i often feel guilty for not staying and helping others where possible but sometimes when i read posts it gives me the odd rush of adrenaline(fear),i need to man up a bit and i should try to help others without thinking it will take me backwards

olderfella,I only joined at the weekend so I was definitely a taker but like you I have tried over the last couple of days to give something back.I'm truly thankful to everyone on here and when I get better which hopefully will be soon I will be back on here to be more of a giver.take care one and all x

[Tessar]

My first thought was that I'm half giver and half taker. But I always play down what I contribute to the world so I shall adjust those figures to 75% give and 25% take. I think that's about right.

I came here first for some help as I was having issues of my own. I was very nervous about the whole thing but I'm really glad I took the plunge. I've always liked helping people but sometimes lack the confidence to do it. When it come to writing, that's where I am in my element, I seem to come alive & thoughts flow quite freely at times. It's therapeutic for me when I write stuff that's helping others. When I first registered I wasn't that confident about posting but now I can see how lovely everyone is, It feels very natural.

Also, I enjoy giving to others and by taking the time to read their posts, I'm also learning new things and making discoveries about myself too. This is a brilliant combination. Sharing.... That's what I think it is.... And I love sharing.

[Dazza123]

I came here initially for help and advice, I never thought I might be able to help or contribute, but having suffered for so many years, and then seeing others with the same/similar problems, its sometimes possible to empathise and advise based on my own experiences, and giving something back makes me feel positive, if I can say something that makes someone feel even 1% better then it can only be a good thing, and Im learning new things each time I come on here. Its also good for my partner to read some of these threads to get an insight into the problems I am cuurently having and to understand how anxiety and stress affects so many people, and to what extremes it takes us to. Its a great site and im glad I joined.

[paula lynne]

Thanks to everyone who has been honest enough to share their stories, its fascinating to me and I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to post. :D
Pol x