Only Child

[busybee09]

I'm an only child and believe this is part of my social anxiety issue.
When i was young i would always ask her for a sibling and id even pray to god !! I was never confident around other children and we never had many kids in the family.
I was convinced my mum was pregnant and when she obvisously wasn't i absolutely cried my eyes out. Even now im 22 when i see siblings together it really hurts because i feel left out and all i want is a sibling i want that feeling!

We have a relatively small family with members living in wales, australia and usa so i dont see those :(

Anyone esle an only child and believe there social anxiety is triggered by this.

[PokerFace]

I don't do well around other people and I have a sister! My big sister spent so much time doing everything for me and looking after me, I never had to really take anything on by myself as she was always close by, so as an adult I've found it really hard to socially interact by myself.

I'm 22 too and you're not missing out, siblings grow up and grow apart, get their own families and friends and yea, you'll still be close but it's not the be all and end all! If you don't already have a family, you'll probably have one of your own, a boyfriend, friends etc. You're life is just as good as someone who has siblings.

I know it sounds cliche, but you really shouldn't focus on what you haven't got if it upsets you like this. My mother is an only child and she's socially fine, as is one of my best friends!

Are you seeking help for your social anxiety other than this forum? x

[ricardo]

natty,
I find your post interesting. I am an only child, in fact I was adopted at 6 weeks old and I believe there maybe many reasons why your mother didn't have anymore children .
On reflection I was over protected as my adopted mother had lost two children days after they were born (two years apart.)

In my case I was over protected for obvious reasons but never felt that was a cause of the beginning of my GAD .
I think you need to think things over and go back through your young life to see if anything else might have triggered your symptoms off.
You don't mention what kind of relationship you had with your mum and haven't even mentioned your dad .

I maybe able to help you if you fill in the void spaces.

ricardo.

[Annie0904]

I have 1 sister but always wished I had a brother as a child. There are 3 years between my sister and I and we have never been really close. I think in some ways my anxiety stemmed from my sister as I was always being compared to her. People always commented on her 'beautiful' blond hair (Mine is brown) and she always did better in school and was head girl. I was always being told how well she was doing and why wasn't I doing so well in that subject. Gosh you've got me going now, I didn't really realise how much it has affected me until I started to type this! I was never one for social situations though. My sister (there we go again!) went to Brownies, Guides, Red Cross and I was happier to play with my circle of friends at home or as we got older listening to records (Yes I am that old!)

[busybee09]

natty,
I find your post interesting. I am an only child, in fact I was adopted at 6 weeks old and I believe there maybe many reasons why your mother didn't have anymore children .
On reflection I was over protected as my adopted mother had lost two children days after they were born (two years apart.)

In my case I was over protected for obvious reasons but never felt that was a cause of the beginning of my GAD .
I think you need to think things over and go back through your young life to see if anything else might have triggered your symptoms off.
You don't mention what kind of relationship you had with your mum and haven't even mentioned your dad .

I maybe able to help you if you fill in the void spaces.

ricardo.

Thanks Ricardo,

I have a good relationship with my mum and dad (dad slightly more than my mum lol maybe thats cus were both female)

Have been trying to think what else may have triggerd my GAD, my mum seems to think it happened after my "favourite" teacher at school left when i was 5 years old! Seems daft thinking about it though. I was never bullied and always had a great bunch of friends so it just baffles me what went wrong.

Thanks for listening :D

---------- Post added at 09:42 ---------- Previous post was at 09:31 ----------


I have 1 sister but always wished I had a brother as a child. There are 3 years between my sister and I and we have never been really close. I think in some ways my anxiety stemmed from my sister as I was always being compared to her. People always commented on her 'beautiful' blond hair (Mine is brown) and she always did better in school and was head girl. I was always being told how well she was doing and why wasn't I doing so well in that subject. Gosh you've got me going now, I didn't really realise how much it has affected me until I started to type this! I was never one for social situations though. My sister (there we go again!) went to Brownies, Guides, Red Cross and I was happier to play with my circle of friends at home or as we got older listening to records (Yes I am that old!)


Hey Annie,

Interesting reply, i understand what you mean (even though i can't relate:))
Do you still still keep in touch with your sister now?

I get most upset about not being able to be an Aunty (my boyfriends brother is disabled, he can have kids but he's 26 now and needs a gf!!)
But one of my friends has just had a baby and said i can be Aunty Natt to his little boy :D which means a lot.

I also have a penpal in the USA who i call sister and she hasa lovely baby girl, hope ill get to visit her one day!

After typing that it's made me realise to focus on the positive!


xx

[Annie0904]

Yes I am still in contact with my sister although she lives 3 hours away. We often chat on the phone. Aww that's lovely that your friends little boy calls you Aunty. It is special to have friends who are like family. I also have some friends in the USA and their children call me Aunty and my children call them Aunty and Uncle. I had a Japanese girl live with me for a year in 1992 so that she could go to school here. She has a 5 year old daughter who calls me Grandma, I love her to bits and if I could get rid of this anxiety I would go to Japan to meet her. I am pleased typing it out has made you see the positives :D