View Full Version : Panic increasing...
Hi guys (again..)
I started taking sertraline again yesterday and today my anxiety levels have increased unbelievably (my HA started up again after I got an anal fissure and saw blood on the tissue/ toilet) It seems to have started late this afternoon. I'm having really awful panicked thoughts about internal bleeding and what if there's blood in my stool I can't see? I'm also on iron tablets now and my stools are very black. My arms are tingling, my chest is tight and even the inside of my mouth feels weird. I'm also feeling really tired. I feel on the brink again after feeling quite a bit better.
What's going on?!? Can anyone talk some sense into me?
katieloveshoes
14-01-13, 20:00
Hi Button,
Funnily enough, I had the exact same thing which caused me to think I had colon cancer. I bled for about 10 days, extreme pain etc, googled it and guess what? Yep the C word about a gazillion times. I went to the docs who give me ointment and said it sounded like a anal fissure but to come back if it hadnt cleared up. I booked an appointment tonight (first time I saw my counciller tonight at the same time, would you believe!) and guess what.. the bleeding stopped 2 days ago, so ive cancelled it and will reschedual if it returns. (which took me a lot to do by the way!!)
Youve already said its an anal fissure - anal fissures arent internal bleeding. Was the blood bright red? if so, not internal bleeding. Internal bleeding starts from high up in the system - and wouldn't be red (trust me i googled it enough). You've already rationalized and said your stool is black because of iron tablets - so your stomachs already taking a bit of a hit so probably a little sore!
It only happened this afternoon - give it 7 days, if it doesn't clear go to the doctor. Otherwise - you haven't once mentioned your stomachs in pain.. I would have guessed with internal bleeding that would be the first place to hurt. I get tingling arms, chest pain, and absolutely exhausted when my HA is at its peak some days, some times it lasts all day and I have awful days. Today sounds like one of them days for you.
Whatever I say you will probably come up with a 'yeah but' - I do it myself 24/7, but let me try to reassure you by saying I had the same thing and went through the same.
Good luck - have an early night and try to rest.
Button, stop worrying, I told you about me internal bleed and how ill I was and you have not got internal bleeding believe me because you would feel very very ill and like i said it was not cancer. The iron tablets will make your stools black and they can also make your tummy feel a bit upset so do not worry if it hurts a bit.
Your anxiety is going to get worse because you have started back on sertraline but these are all side effects and you are going to feel worse before they kick in and you start to feel better again.
You can do it, you have been through so much the last couple of weeks worrying and we will help you.
xxxx
Katieloveshoes: I'm glad your issue cleared up! Scary isn't it?? I've seen my doctor twice in the past 4 days and she's happy it's just the fissure. She won't send me for more teats because she feels this would fuel my HA. I haven't seen any blood (it was bright red) for 4 days now but now I'm on iron tablets I'm straying that it's there but I can't see it...I'm also stressing that I'm low on iron because I'm worried that means I'm bleeding internally...I've got IBS anyway and all my anxiety goes through my stomach so I've got twinges and gurgles and acid. The anxiety seems worse today than ever and I just don't know why.
---------- Post added at 20:28 ---------- Previous post was at 20:15 ----------
When I get stressed I get a pain under my ribs and it's back. I had it last year and it really kick started my HA so it's making it all worse. God I hate this.
katieloveshoes
14-01-13, 20:33
Scary?? Hell yes. I thought thats it - I knew I was right all along, I wasnt going mad - I am sick. But now its gone away, just like everything else that happens to me does (Albeit bleeding from the anus should get checked anyway I realise that - but 9/10 its never as bad as you think)
I know exactly how you feel trust me. You can be told something a million times, assured its nothing, assured you are fit and healthy, assure its 'this' not 'cancer' or whatever else our wonderful minds might conger up but youll never believe it. I dont believe it, I dont understand how I can feel how I do every day and not possibly be ill. I still dont truly believe it now which is why ive logged on here after my assessment instead of scouring the rest of the internet for why im in pain today (its my ears today - really sore and sure its connected to my brain in some way).
You sound like youve been through hell and back and trust me - I know what its like when you get an actual issue like bleeding - its like all your worse fears confirmed. Trust your doctor - they know your history, if they thought it was that bad theyd send you to the hospital - but they wont precisely because they know of your HA. Youve got a good one there.
Youll get there - tomorrow is a new day, after a good nights sleep things will feel a bit better, promise.
You make alot of sense. Everyone does. It's just when you're in the grip of it it's so hard to come out. Then your anxiety gives you all of these physical sensations and you're just trapped in this cycle. Tonight has been one of those nights where I actually felt like I was losing my mind and that I'd have to be locked up.
katieloveshoes
14-01-13, 21:02
I know - It doesn't matter how much sense I talk, I have people telling me all day every day and I don't listen on bad days and sort of take it in on good days. I'm good at talking to other people about there issues but don't listen about my own advice!
You don't need to be locked up I know that much. I got so bad the other day I couldnt focus and thought my brain was going finally. Seriously had an awful day where my left arm tingled, my head was pounding, felt sick. Its all about getting through the bad days.
Daft as it sounds, do you have a dictaphone? or a voice recording facility? Record your fear or write it down and pretend its a friend asking you to give them advice and they had this issue - think about what you would tell them.. Not sure if it works I havent tried it myself yet but in principle it might!
I do have a voice recorder on my phone, I could try it! I've tried almost everything else.
This is just unbelievable hell. I feel like I've got all sorts of pains, I can't tell what's real and what's not and no one can let me out of my head.
Hey button, you've given me such helpful advice in the past and others. Imagine a close friend of yours had your situation and was panicking and worried about it, would you be worried for her and jump to conclusions that its cancer or a serious underlying illness or would you look at it realistically? I know Ha sufferers will always find the worst possible cause of illness in their own bodies but when it comes to other people, were not overly concerned. That goes to everyone else who's posted in response to what you've said, your absolutely fine x
Ecila92, thank you! After everything I've got from people on this site, it's so good to hear that I've been able to give even a tiny bit of help to someone going through the same thing! While I remember, how is the lump you found? I hope everything is ok...
You're right about my reaction to a friend going through the same thing. In fact my husband said something that really hit home with me (and trust me, he's normally not that helpful!) He said "it would be a bloody big coincidence if you had a cut that was bleeding AND cancer at the same time wouldn't it? Just because its not dramatic doesn't make it less likely, it actually makes it MORE likely otherwise EVERYONE would be in hospital wouldn't they?" He had a point...! It doesn't help me at the moment but it is probably what I'd say to a friend because you're right, we totally lose it when it comes to our own health but can be totally rational when it comes to others...
My head isn't in a place where I can accept that quite yet but I will say that I had a panic attach tonight and the thing that helped was just coming to bed, lying down in the quiet (when my baby boy decided to keep his dummy in!) and reading through this site.
I'm not sure how much sleep I'll get tonight but a couple of hours ago I was in such a state that the whole left side of my body felt like it was burning and I thought I'd have to go to A&E so at least I'm over that for now...
I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to get it all sorted out, trying not to worry for now. It makes sense it would be a muscle due to IBS, constipation. More concerned about the pain that's just not going away but il have to wait and see what he says tomorrow thanks for asking :). Yes its so true and your husbands right, if you look around you'll see so many old people who love normal healthy lives but when it comes to us we don't expect that, its hard for us to believe that not EVERYONE will die young of cancer. I can tell how badly you're suffering at the moment and I would suggest therapy, you've probably done it before but I know it will benefit you so much and keep you much more level headed. Someone once told me to be strong for the people who love me because they go through just as much a hard time seeing the person they love suffer and it does make you think. I'm not saying you should feel guilty because you shouldn't but its good to look at things and think "why am I letting my mind control my life when I have an amazing boyfriend/husband/family around me who love and care for me. Hope you're okay, if you need to talk you can message me x
I feel completely wretched today- didn't sleep at all because of trapped wind pains and a pain under my ribs. My anxiety is at an unbelievable level- I can't believe this just won't stop...
---------- Post added at 09:42 ---------- Previous post was at 09:31 ----------
I feel completely wretched today- didn't sleep at all because of trapped wind pains and a pain under my ribs. My anxiety is at an unbelievable level- I can't believe this just won't stop...
Button, iron tablets can make your tummy feel really upset and give you lots of wind, you need them for the anemia but they can make you feel worse, I did in the end stop taking them because of all this but I am not telling you to do that!! they can give you a different sort that may be better but all iron tablets are much of a muchness but it may be worth a try.
Please try to stop worrying you felt so much better when you had been to doctor last week, did you not have another appointment yesterday?, also you have started back on the sert so that iis going to make you feel worse for a start.
Just try and listen to yourself, you would be telling anyone else what we are telling you, I know it is not easy
Big Hugs xxx
I'm trying to rationalise the sensations in my stomach. It's so hard. I feel like I've got popping bubbles and pain under my ribs...along with the black stools (which I know are iron but still...) it's so hard.
I had a doctors appointment last week (Friday) and felt better for a bit. Then I saw her again yesterday. I just feel like I can't draw a line underneath this. Because I've had no tests I just imagine all this terrible stuff happening in my body. The doctor says she'll only investigate further if there's any bleeding in a month. So now I feel like I'm just waiting for bleeding or something terrible to happen. I haven't seen blood for 5 days but now my stools are black I'm worried that I can't tell.
Don't worry about the rib pain its brought on by IBS, I get it sometimes when my anxiety is high and when anxietys high you'll get a bad tummy/rib pain due to IBS.
I've made an appointment to see my doctor next week. I'm not even sure what I expect her to do but I just don't feel like I can get through without her reassurance. I just want to know when I can stop feeling scared...
---------- Post added at 18:45 ---------- Previous post was at 16:07 ----------
How can I be sure that my black stools aren't blood? It would be a hell of a coincidence to have that at the same time I started the iron I suppose?
For now just try and focus on the facts. If iron tablets give you black stools than the likelyhood of it being cancer is unlikely. Try not to worry unless you have a good reason to.
---------- Post added at 19:57 ---------- Previous post was at 19:56 ----------
Plus if it was anything sinister I think you'd know for sure, you'd have loads of other symptoms.
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