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[katieloveshoes]

Hi everyone,

Feeling pretty low today. Woke up and everytime I breath in its almost like I can feel a pull on my back and all across the top of my back in my lungs - like I can really feel the air going through nose through my throat into my lungs. It's a really odd sensation, I have no idea what it is. My back and neck have been hurting for ages now I'm getting this sensation I'm just so low because I have been really struggling relentlessly to convince myself I'm healthy and my body continues to give me battles.

On top of that I have a lump in my groin where my lymph node is right in the crease which is painful to the touch. In convicting myself it's a swollen lymph node but what is so hard to accept is how can it be
HA if I have actual pains? These things keep cropping up and they're actual physical pain which exhausts me to keep going to get checked out.
I don't want reassurance from the doctor - I just want to be fit and healthy not falling apart.
Sorry guys. In bed and feel really distraught after having 4 great days.

[lashes]

hey i keep gettin this pulling feeling and chest pains with it i went to the docs and she said it was to do to with my back its been really achy so has my neck i think its like tense muscles that lock up when my back is paticulary bad i feel like i can hardly breathe !glad i read this as i keep thinking its only me and it must be awful x

[katieloveshoes]

It just feels like my neck and back are seizing up all the time and if I move my neck in a funny way or put it forward to far it's really painful! My whole back is killing expecially th top by my lungs. If I go to my doc shell just tell me it's to do with my HA and won't really listen. Ill try my best to give it a week & try and get through. Glad I'm not the only one too!

[lashes]

yeh mines at the top aswel !my doc said its nothing just tense muscles ive had it on and off for ages now and im still here lol so cnt be too bad its just crazy anxiety can cause so many real symptoms everyday its something else !

[Button1]

Oh darling, I feel your pain as you know I'm right where you are. You've been amazing both in your own attitude and the advice that you've been giving to others and I've really appreciated the support over the past few days.

I haven't got a magic piece of advice to give you but I'd really try and remember the power that anxiety has over our bodies and it's potential to cause real physical pain. IBS is almost always brought on by anxiety and as an IBS sufferer I can tell you it's definitely painful! But it's root cause is always my anxiety. Anxiety=physical pain. Tension caused by anxiety leads to migraines, headaches and muscle stiffness all causing pain. Again, anxiety=physical pain. Our bodies are made up of so many working parts it's no wonder some of them ache sometimes, they're all working hard doing their jobs keeping us going. When we are tired or run down we feel these niggles. You aren't falling apart, you are healthy, you're simply concentrating too hard on very normal physical sensations. I know what that feels like, I know how exhausting it is and I know how unbelievably wearing the constant anxiety is.


I can't do any better than refer you back to your own post which was full of great advice. Remember how many of us are going through exactly the same as you, you aren't alone. Remember the good days you've had recently and know that you will get back there again very soon- I know you're tired but lying in bed is one of the worst things you can do as you'll simply concentrate on the things you feel are wrong. You need to be up and about and focusing on other things, anything other than health. Are you on any meds at the moment? I am ploughing on with sertraline and had the first good morning this morning that I've had in ages. I actually felt light and HAPPY! If you aren't on anything I'd maybe explore this with your doctor. You're having CBT aren't you? I hope this gives you some good coping strategies to help you though any rough patches like this.


Hang on in there XXX

[katieloveshoes]

Hi button

Thanks so much for your lenthy reply - it's nice to know some of my advice can help! How I so wish I could convince myself of my own advice and listen to it at times like this - I really genuinely try so much to listen to what I tell other people its just constantly exhausting to go back and forward - as I'm sure you know!!

I am so so SO happy that you feel happy today, my heart went out to you this week because I know what it's like. When it hits it's one thing after another. I think I'm linking some of my back pain to when I'm tired - when I'm up about 6 I tend to get he neck & back pain I think so I might try and keep a note.

I'm just constantly tired and some days really get down about all these pains. I'm not on anything right now I've got diazepam for my anxiety and was offered citalopram around 2 months ago at my peak but because I work 50+ hours a week I was trying to do it through CBT alone and tbh I was convinced I'm not depressed but I think deep down to lie in bed when I have bad days must be a sign of depression and might have to finally give in to it. Most people I know don't know I have HA and I have to listen to people at work talk about death etc and just sit and nod it's exhausting sometimes. Perhaps I need to open up more! Sorry for the long reply I will get up now and try and get through today - and I'm really glad your feeling better xx

[Button1]

My replies are always lengthy! I know I can't change your mindset tonight, I just wanted to try and reassure you that HA is a persuasive and powerful thing and can make your body respond in many different physical ways. It might be an idea to keep a note of when the aches and pains come and see if you can link it to times when you're tired or anxious as that might reassure you.

When my doctor first talked about putting me on anti-depressants I was shocked as I didn't think I was depressed. And I still don't. But my reaction to anxiety is depressive- like you I either want to or do curl up under my duvet and don't want to come out. In 2011 (my worst HA attack) I actually didn't- I wasn't at work for 3 weeks. Thank god I've got an understanding boss...my doctor explained that many antidepressants act as anti-anxiety treatment. They won't give you a big high but they'll even out the rough patches. If you find yourself consistently struggling I'd maybe give the pills a go, it has to e enter than suffering and when you're ready to come off them then you can. I came off sertraline when I got pregnant and had to stop immediately- it was absolutely fine x