View Full Version : Cancer back again
I need all the support i can get at the moment as I have just been diagnosed with cancer again.
I had it 6 years ago and i now have a recurrence. I have had a ct scan and a body scan and it has not spread thank god into my bones or main organs.
I am now having chemotherapy and later i have to have radiotherapy.
I then have to have hormone therapy.
I am having real trouble at the moment thinking positively about it all as i am really scared and frightened.
Bobsy
nomorepanic
31-08-06, 22:42
Bobsy
So Sorry to hear this news tonight and we are all behind you all the way.
You can be strong and fight this ok and we will be there if you need us along the way.
Of course you are scared after so long in remission and I can not begin to imagine how it feels for you but I can assure you that you have loads of friends on here who you can rely on if you need us and we can rally round and do whatever you need.
I am sending you positive vibes and hugs and love
xxx
Nicola
Mate,
I am so glad you posted this as you will get so much support and so many positive thoughts coming your way now.
You are going to beat this mate, you did it before you will do it again.
Here for you ok.
Lots of love
Trac xxxx
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Hi Bobsy,
I don't know you, but still feel for you as cancer or anything remotely like that can be so much worse when you have anxiety in the first place.
But just to say you have my support. I hope you have precious people around you too. I do believe its at times like these that we find out how strong we really are.
Big Hugs,
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
Hi Bobsy,
I really feel for you. It must be so difficult at the moment.
It's a massive positive plus point that it hasn't spread elsewhere, thank God. Try and focus as much on this and the fact that you have beaten it before. Therefore you can again.
Wishing you masses of positive vibes.
Cheers,
Trev
polly daydream
31-08-06, 23:36
Hello Bobsy, I'm so sorry to hear this awfull news, we are all here for you sweet, so glad for you that it hasn't spread any further, am thinking of you.
Take care,
Polly x
Hi Bobsy
I am sorry it has raised its ugly head again. I send you lots of (((((hugs))))) and positive thinking. I wish you well.
LOVE Jenny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Positive vibes being sent your way - you can do this again
and we are all here for you.
Big Hugs xxxx
Hay x
So sorry to hear thiis hun.
You can fight this you have done once already, we are all with you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
xxxxxx
sford
Hi Bobsy
Sooo sorry to hear you news hun.
Just want to say that my thoughts are with you.
Sending you a big (((( HUG ))) rapped up with courage, strenght and lots and lots of possitive vibes.
The fight is on and this one YOU WILL WIN,, you have done it before and YOU WILL do it again.
Wishing you well
LOTS OF LOVE
JILLXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hi ya hun,
You know my thoughts mate and we'll take it all one day at time. Bodies are like cars and need occasional tightening and tweaking, at the moment you are having the tweaking - perhaps I should go for the tightening [:I]:D
Biggest squeeze lovely person and will catch you later, yes?!!:)
Love Pig xx
Hi Bobsy, tons of hugs and so many positive vibes coming your way. I can only agree with everything that has already been said. If ever you need any NMP support I am here along with everyone else. You can and will beat this again. take care and please let us know if there is anything any of us can do to assist. lots of love to you..xxxjean
So sorry to hear this. I hope all the extra support you will get here will help you a little along the way.
You must be strong to have got through it once already. I really hope you can do the same again.
Sending you lots of positive vibes and a big hug (((B))).
Tammy x
Positive thoughts coming your way
(((((hugs)))))))
love anx xxx
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects
(((((HUGS)))))
I will be thinking of you and hope all is well in the near future!
Good luck,
Tina
Sending you lots and lots of ((((((HUGS)))))))and to let you know my thoughts are with you ,
lots of love denisexxxx
denise
Just want to say thank you for all your support and kind wishes.
I will let you know how i get on along the way.
Bobsy
Hugs and positive thoughts to you Bobsy
{{{{ HUGS }}}}
Take care
Clare :)
Obstacles are those horrible things you see when you take your mind off your goals (",)
meatybuddy
02-09-06, 21:37
ho bobsy
sorry to hear its reared its ugly head again u can come through this , i to have the C and have been trying my best to fight it ive had that many bouts of chemo ive forgotten, its now starting to destroy it but ive still got a long haul ahead of me.
all i can say is the same as every1 here and that is if you need anything ppl here at NMP will more than gladly help you out
regards
Meaty
oh well the end is near
Hi Bobsy,
so sorry to hear what youre going through. Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts.
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))
Coni X
Granny Primark
03-09-06, 11:31
Hi bobsy,
Just wanted you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
With all the positive thoughts that are coming your way from this site im sure youl be fine.
((((((HUGS)))))) coming your way from me.
Loads of love and best wishes
From
LYNN xx
Oh bobsy!
I havent spoke u in ages hun!!! Im sooooo sorry!! I am sendin u millions of hugs and love hun!!!
All my thoughts are with u!!!
Gxxxxxx
My thoughts and best wishes are with u Bobsy [^]
Love Ness xoxoxoxo
I am sorry to hear this Bobsy,
I will be thinking of you.
Sending you (((Hugs))),
Best Wishes,
Heather x
Southern_Belle
06-09-06, 04:07
Hi Bobsy,
I am sorry to hear of this news and my thoughts and prayers are with you to give you strength to fight this fight again, I know you can do it. Sending you the best of wishes.
Bel
"Our thoughts are our reality"
Thanks again folks for your kind wishes.
I have another chemo on friday so i will let u no how i get on.
not only am i trying to fight this but also anxiety and panic. think i may have to put my anxiety and panic therapy on hold until i get all my treatment out of the way. I am still managing to get round the block with the dog on my own so at least im keeping a hand in. just worried incase i go backwards as i was doing really well going out on my own just before the cancer came back i was even walking to work on my own and that was an achievement and also went on holiday in July and had the best holiday so far and did loads more stuff than we would have done as i was quietly confidence with myself. I only panicked once on holiday for about 4 hours one night but next day i was ok. I handled it but now i feel all my confidence has gone again.
My apologies for waffling. Keep positive
bobsy x x
Bobs,
If it helps to waffle you carry on mate and never apologise for it either.
I will be thinking of you friday mate and sending you a big hug.
Love
Trac xx
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Me too mate :)
Don't worry about the going backwards - real life gets in the way of our 'practising' lots of times but really we are making major progress - just in a different direction.
How we handle all stressful events that happen to us is called progress hun and you are handling this one the best way you know how. Proud of you!!!!
Sorry I don't seem to have caught you on msn this past week - I do keep coming on at different times to see if you are there, so I hope we bump into each other soon.
Big hugs sausage :D
Love Piglet xx
Thinking of you today Bobsy. xxx Jean
BIG HUGS FOR YOU,
TAKE CARE X X X X
Love & More Hugs,
PIP'S X X X X
Pippa.
Well here i am again.
Ive had three sessions of chemo now so another 3 to go and then 3 solid weeks of radiotherapy.
Not only do i still have 3 more sessions to go i now have to go 45 miles away from home to have it. Im dreading it as i got to know the people in my local hospital and i now have to go somewhere new with people i don't no. Just wish it was all over. Also wish anxiety in all aspects was gone. When is all this gonna end.
bobsy
honeybee3939
16-10-06, 19:41
Hi bobsy,
Thinking of you Hun, sending you a BIG hug and positive thoughts your way!
Love
Andrea
xxx
nomorepanic
16-10-06, 20:49
Bobsy
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and wish you all the best with the chemo and also the travelling to the new hospital.
Good luck !!
xx
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
Nicola
Hi old bean - all this travelling malarky is a chance to 'practice'!!!!!
<center>YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!</center>
Sorry I keep missing you on msn - this decorating idea was a mad one, you just wanna see what I've done to my house [:O][:O][:O][}:)][}:)][Oops!]. Could it be any more messy [No]!!!!
Big hugs and text me whenever (I promise to try and have credit to reply with [:I][OK])!!
Love Piglet xx
Paddington
17-10-06, 12:23
will pm you .huge hugs coming your way.love mary rose.xxxxxxx
we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore
yorkylover
17-10-06, 14:08
Hi bobsy,sending you a big hug,and positive thoughts.
take care.
Ellen XX
Hi Bobsy,
well done for the first 3 and I'm sure the people will be really nice at the new place. Good luck with the next 3.
You are doing a fantastic job and it's natural for you to be anxious. Anybody going through this would be anxious. Best of luck.
Trev :D
Hi bobsy, ive replied to your pm just a minute ago:D.
Remember , everthing weve discussed about self esteem, its all about believing yourself.........
1. you CAN travel to the hospital.
2. we all DO really care about you cos your a LOVELY interesting person.
3. you are brave and WILL win this battle.
anything you want or need DO ask and know you have 100% support.
let us know how your doing
mirry x
mirryx
Hi Bobsy, hugs and thoughts coming your way, you are coping just fine at the moment, the move to the new hospital, of course, will upset you, but the people there will be just as kind and understanding as the last. You take care mate and thank you for taking the time to let us know you are ok (ish)...lots of love jean xxxx
Thanks guy for all your support here ive now got to have another ct scan tomorrow so not looking forward to that. the scan its self is ok its just waiting for the results err i hate playing the waiting game.
Anyway Friday is nearly here so im just gonna try and go with the flow. I will let you know how i got on when i get back from my travels.
Thanks again for all your replies and thanks for everybodies help I need it at this time.
Bobsy
Best of luck for tomorrow and I'm sure you will be fine on Friday. You did so well recently so you can build on that.
Cheers,
Trev :D
Sue K with 5
18-10-06, 15:14
Hi Bobsy!
I have only just seen this post. I know understand what your message on msn meant that day. I know your going to fight this and get better, and when you do fighting the panic and anxiety will be a doddle. Your one very strong lady and my thoughts and hugs go out to you.
Dont give up the fight honey. We are all behind you !!
sue
xx
scknight
wobily_lin
18-10-06, 19:27
Hi,
Oh Bobsy, I'm so so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how you are feeling. We are all here to support you in anyway we can. Please feel free to pm email me what ever. Your a fighter and you will get thru this.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx
Take care,
Lin.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi all
Well I have my ct scan results and everything is ok thank goodness phew.
I managed to get to the new hospital ok. I did have anxiety most of the way but no panic. I could feel myself building up for a panic but I distracted myself by playing a game making words up from a van name lol. My partner won and I lost - clever thing. Im gonna get him a job on Countdown.
We were at the hospital for 4 hours and my other half even left me while i was wired up to get us a coffee and I was fine he also left me to go and make me another appointment again I was ok.
What im finding now is I have more anxiety that panics.
I was analysing myself the other day and I think it starts in my stomach and then goes into my throat and it feels like i cant swallow properly and then i start signing, yawning and trying to take a deep breath which are not satisfying me , I know this is hyperventilation and I sort of no how to deal with these sensations even though its hard. I had all these symptons on Friday but i kept going and I made it.
I know all the above sounds positive but I feel so down and I feel like Im just plodding on and I tell people I'm fine to make them feel better and not worry about me.
In all aspects of my life at the moment I need some help but I dont like to ask for it as i think im a burden to everybody. I need help to get me out on my own and overcome this anxiety and I need help to overcome the cancer.
I feel I have nobody to bounce my worries off as my other half does not really understand and I don't want to worry him. I have bad side effects and he always says the wrong stuff so we have rows and I can't deal with it.
I have no self esteem or self confidence in myself and why do i need to be so independent and hard on myself.
Sorry for the negative post but thats how I feel.
Love
Bobsy x
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I was analysing myself the other day and I think it starts in my stomach and then goes into my throat and it feels like i cant swallow properly and then i start signing, yawning and trying to take a deep breath which are not satisfying me , I know this is hyperventilation and I sort of no how to deal with these sensations even though its hard. I had all these symptons on Friday but i kept going and I made it.
I Love
Bobsy x
<div align="right">Originally posted by bobsy - 23 October 2006 : 09:58:02</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Firstly I just want to say how pleased I am to hear about the test results :D:D:D:D - great news!
Secondly that the way you descibed above is exactly the way I get it too!
Thirdly you have got people to listen hun and I am one of them - you pick up that phone and ring me anytime. I haven't been on msn very much recently as I've been doing stuff on the house but this is getting more sorted as we speak. I am perfectly capable of holding a brush and a phone and appreciate the break to chat!
Big hugs to you :)
Love Piglet xxx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Thanks piglet for your reply.
Well im here today feeling really crappy and emotional. I feel so weak and all my body aches even my teeth.
Even if i could do stuff on my own i cant cos im not in a fit enough state. I'm so frustrated wanting to do stuff but i daren't. Took car out yesterday to the shop and scrapped all the front bumper on the wall as I was not concentrating properly.
I am so desperate to overcome this anxiety and cancer but today i dont know where to start.
Bobsy
Hi ya hun,
Listen when we are genuinely poorly then we have to stop and take a break from all this anxiety busting - you are pushing yourself way too hard lovie, let your physical body do it's thing and get stronger before you start working on the other stuff.
We are not superhuman and don't keep having to prove we are. Take a little time out here and get some rest. You can get on with being fearless another day.
If you fancy doing something positive why not have a read up on things to do with the course your doing next year - although personally I would tuckle up on the couch and see if there is a good film on.
Love Piglet xxxxxxxxx
Well here I am again. Another two days to go before i have another bout of chemo. I always seem to get emotional about this time as I just start to feel ok and I know that on Friday it all starts again.
At the moment im just wishing my life away as I want all this chemo out of the way.
Still not got my appointment for my radiotherapy but seeing consultant on friday so will ask him when it starts.
With each bout im getting more and more tired. my legs ache so much i find it hard walking. Im also getting out of breath very easy -this is due to low blood count - so not panicking about this.
Ive been attempting to do the tapping techniques Carl does and although I think i look silly doing it im finding things a little easier. I also managed to download the phobia hypnosis by paul mckenna off the gmtv website - dont ask me how i did it but there was a lot of swearing involved. lol.
Anyway wish me luck for the travelling again on friday and please send me Hugs.
Love
Bobsy
<center>Sending you big hugs, Bobsy
(((((Bobsy)))))
Ray xx </center>
Biggest hugs for Friday hun
<center>((((B))))</center>
Lots of love Piglet xxx :):)
honeybee3939
08-11-06, 12:45
Hi Bobsy !
Sending you lots of HUGS!
Glad to hear the tapping is making things easier too !
love
Andrea
xxx
Hi Bobsy, Glad your doing the tapping still, I forgot to do it yesturday and today and had a panic attack whilst out on the school run.
I bet you cant wait to get your treatment out the way, i thought of you when i visited the chemist on monday and purchased a pink badge.
we all feel so proud of you,
keep letting us know how its going.
mirryx
Hi bobsy
Just want to say I'm thinking of you.
Sending you ((((( HUGS ))))
LOVE JILLXXX
(((((((((((((Bobsy)))))))))))
The kindness we extend to others in their their hour of need will return to us at the time we most need it.
Hi Bobsy,
I'm still thinking of you too,
Sending you ((((HUGS))))
Glad the tapping is helping,
Heather x
Paddington
09-11-06, 13:58
Hi bobsy,thinking of you hun.Good luck 2morrow.Youn are doing soooooo well!BRAVO BOBSY!!Love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxxx
we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore
I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU for everybodies support.
I find it hard asking for help as i feel like ive failed myself. Anyway glad I did as i got the support I need.
Take care
Bobsy
Pain is temporary, Quitting lasts forever.
ANother up date
First i would like to say the day before chemo i have to had my blood taken and normally i used to take my other half in with me then he used to take me and wait outside in the car then he used to wait in the carpark
When on Thursday he was at work and I decided to go on my own even though my mum and sister said they would come with me so i knew i had them to fall back on if needed. Well I DID IT ALL ON MY OWN. I had to wait a good 20 mins before it was my turn. I tapped on my way there and it easied a little. While i was waiting and the thoughts were coming i gave myself ways out saying i could ask to go outside as i was too hot and i could also go outside and phone someone but i did not have to.
I came out so pleased with myself and my car was the furthest car possible away from the hospital. but i did it
Anyway had chemo yesterday and we left home at 8.30 and did not get home until 3.40 i was knacked. I even managed to eat there and also on way home we stopped for fish and chips and I ate them in a place i was not used to and i did not freak out I ate them. WOW
Anyway im feeling a little tired now and a bit sh*tty but still pleased with myself as when i was going to hospital yesterday not even a bad thought travelling and no panic while i was waiting to be seen and having treatment. Hope i can keep this panic at bay. Mind you my other half does drive me there as i cant drive 40 miles on my own. -not yet anyway lol
Only one more chemo to go before 3 solid weeks of radiotherapy but not sure now when this is starting I was told yesterday i Was on the list I mean what does this mean.
Thanks for all your help and support
love
bobsy
Hi Bobsy,
Well done you for doing it on your own. Also big massive buckets of hugs for you. Thinking of you xoxoxoxox
Take Care
Mandyxx
Just an update for people if you want to read
I finished my chemo in beg of December.
ive been having radiotherapy since 2 jan and my last one is next week.
I have had to travel with my other half or my mum 45 miles each way to get to hosptial every day for 15 days.
At the moment i feel very low and weepy. The treatment is coming to an end but my emotions seem to be worse. I ache all over and oncologist said "take paracetomols" i have been take ibroprofen or whatever they are called but with no effect.
When hospital people ask how i am i just say im fine even if im not as they just dont seem to give me any support or help. i dont have anybody really to talk to as im trying to protect all my friends and family plus they dont want to hear me saying how i dont feel too clever.
im supposed to be going back to work next week after having 6 months off but i dont really want to. gonna see how i go and if i feel like i cant cope will get another sick note.
I have constant worries that if you have not had cancer you cant begin to understand.
i feel all alone
bobsy
Hi Bobsy,
I think you are doing really well. No wonder you are feeling low and aching all over having gone through such gruelling treatment. I can't believe you are supposed to return to work next week when you are still having radiotherapy. I am sure the doctor will sign you off for a bit longer.
Just remember you have loads of friends on here that are happy to chat to you and support you through this difficult time.
You are very brave. Don't be hard on yourself the treatment is nearly over.
chillx
Bobsy, You are not alone, you know you can chat to me anytime.
I have just shed a tear for you reading your post, we all have got to know you on here and care for you so much..you are not alone.
No matter what your thoughts are, no matter how you are feeling, we are all here to support you and listen to you.
You have been through so much, and your posts have been very calm and brave which has made me wonder have you bottling it all up ?
When ever you have dark thoughts , post on this thread, doesnt matter if its every hour of everyday! I know everyone is behind you 100%
Your family and friends wont mind you sharing your feelings, you have nothing to hide (are you trying to protect them?).
Let it all out
take care of your self
miranda x
mirryx
thanks for replies chill and mirry
Mirry, yes i have been bottling it all up so that way im not thinking about it, if you understand what im trying to say. when people say nice things about me i can't deal with it as i think people dont like me, find me boring and uninterresting and just tolerate me/ i also think people are better than me cos they can do what i call normal stuff and i cant. There i've said it now - feel silly but i've done it.
I just feel i'm being a pain when i have a moan and think people will say "oh god here she goes again" so i dont say anything.
I'm at my anxiety counsellor today so i think she is gonna get my floods today as i can feel myself wanting to cry just typing this.
I just want all this crap to stop so i can get on with my life and live instead of just existing.
Bobsy (without a smiley face today)
((((((((((((((Bobsy)))))))))))))))
I've only just caught up with this thread and really feel for you. Let is all out today with your counsellor. A friend of mine has just finished chemo and radiotherapy for breast cancer and I saw how it dragged her down and she doesn't have anxiety problems. Give yourself permission to be upset about this and give yourself a big pat on the back for getting this far.
Take care.
Love Jo x
[:X]
Jo
BOBSY !!!
you know what, I cant belive what you say about yourself,
I can honestly say ............ I LIKE YOU :D alot !!!
Now believe me, if I didnt like you I wouldnt be here.
As for boring, Ive never found you boring..Ive always enjoyed our chats.
But I know what going on here, your self esteem is soooooo low, that you imagine all these horrible things. And on top of your anxiety and low self esteem you have this cancer battle to fight.
So allow yourself these emotions, please dont bottle it up any more.
Oh I wish I lived near you, Id be round your house like a shot, your such a nice person, where do you live? , Im in Hampshire.
But you know you can tell us anything on here cos we are like a family.
mirryx
Hi hun,
How many times have I told you you're not boring, or any of those other things you say - YOU ARE LOVELY, INTERESTING, FUNNY AND CARING AND LOTS OF OTHER THINGS BESIDES - end of!!!!
It has been a really crap time but you are coming to the end of it now - it is very hard to feel 'up' when we feel physically rough, this will pass soon. I told you yesterday that your progress with the things you've managed lately has been incredible and I think you don't always realise how much you have achieved!!!
You've been a marvellous role model for woman everywhere by going out minus the scarf - if that happened more then it would become more ordinary and take some of the fear of cancer away - I am so so so proud of you for doing that. Going out at all on your own is a massive step forward and you are doing this with confidence and aplomb* - you're a little star!!!
<center>* * * * * * * </center>
I want you to go and look up aplomb (that's today's new word for you to add to yesterday's 'navel gazing' ;)) cos you will like what it means!!!:)
Lots of love
Piglet :) xx
wobily_lin
18-01-07, 13:21
elo hun,
just wanna send ye MASSIVE HUGS!!!!!
you have done and r doing so great n you r so brave...dont eva think any of us r thinkn wot u hav written above..
we are all here for each other and that includes U!!!!
you can hav a gud moan, shout, cry even laff...howeva ye feel we are all here....so try not to hide it or hold it in....let it all out okies..
I'm thinkn of you hun...all de best x
Take care,
Lin.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How did it go today Bobsy ?
mirryx
hi bobsy
god u amaze me - you are such a strong courageous and incredibly inspirational woman
my thoughts are with you and NEVER feel you are a pain or a moan - you give us all hope and determination to fight whatever comes along
love to you and lots of hugs
Dark x
........life is for living not just for surviving
Hi all
went to see my therapist today and had a good cry.
told her all that i thought of myself and she said again im being too hard on myself and do not have enough confidence in myself so im going on a assertiveness course.
i am not now going to work next week gonna wait another 3 weeks without any treatment to see how i go.
I find it really hard when people are nice to me i think i dont deserve it. i also feel that people are talking about me all the time.
I pretend im ok as i dont think people want to listen to my problems as i think they will say "omg here she goes again" so i dont say anything and just keep it to myself. if i said it i would probably not be down most of the time. ive got issues with work at the moment so im worrying about what im gonna say.
I'm always asking people "what do you thing i should do" - "shall i do this or that" if you can understand what im saying.
Always asking peoples opinions before i do anything cant make decisions myself in case people are gonna say something to me or they may say What are you doing that for.
Like if i want to come on computer i always say to my other half - do you mind if i go on computer. Now why do i do this i think its because i feel guilty doing it. I ask him if he minds if i do anything. He always says stuff like "what or why" and i feel i have to explain myself.
only 2 more radios to go now thank goodness. it was bad travelling today as it was so windy but got straight in as a lot of people had cancelled as they could not get there.
to top it off my tooth has just chipped so off to dentist next tuesday so spending more money on not a pleasure.
thanks for listening and support
thanks
bobsy
I'm glad you had a good cry today mate as we all need to do that every now and again - much better out than in!!
The assertiveness course sounds a very good idea as I think it will reinforce stuff you already know and help it sink in more. :D:D:D
Big hugs and I'm here whenever :)
Piglet xx
Bobsy , Im so pleased your going on a self assertive course,
you certainly need it! As you know , I did one recently and it really helps. You shouldnt feel the need to ask to use the computor or explain yourself. I am happy to support you with it.
When are we going to get into chat together ?
I keep missing you .
mirryx
FLOCK FLOCK FLOCK
While ive been having my radiotherapy i was getting a stabbing pain under my chest and thursdsay night found another lump. anyway went to drs to get sick note yesterday and told her about lump and she said she thought it was scar tissue that had become inflamed, and felt nothing like the lump i had last year, with radiotherapy and i was quite happy with that,.
Anyway when i was at hospital today the radiotherapists asked how my stabbing pain was and i said "oh ive found a lump but ive been to drs" and explained to them what she said. Anyway they said you best have an expert look at it so off i went to see oncologist.
He said he thought it was nothing but as it was in a discret area, to be on the safe side i have to have a scan done. You can imagine im scared stiff as how am i gonna cope if this is another cancerous lump. Im at my wits end but trying to keep it all together for everybody.
People say im strong but im not at the moment im so tired of fighting and pretending im strong.
Hopefully go for scan on tuesday and get results soon after.
Piglet, thanks for your support late last night, dont no what i would have done, probably cried myself to sleep.
bobsy
honeybee3939
20-01-07, 11:32
Hi Bobsy !
I am thinking of you hun, you are strong Bobsy, and im so pleased to have had the opportunity to meet someone as kind and as thoughtful as you. You have given me support in the past and i thankyou for that.
Hopefully when you have your scan on Tuesday, it will show nothing is wrong and you can move on hun !
Thinking of you and sending you a hug !
P.s. hope you come to the quiz tonight, think we all need cheering up !!
Love
Andrea
xxxx
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
<center>((((B))))</center>
I think we just need to continue telling you how fond of you we all are and then hopefully someday soon you will really believe it and become very fond of yourself too!!
Meantime just remember that the oncology dept are doing their job and it's their job to be so thorough they almost turn you inside out. The scan is a precautionary measure hun to reassure you.
If you get chance try and come into chat tonight for the quiz, I'm going to try - if not then I'm always at the end of the phone :)
Love Piglet xx
Bobsy, the hospital sound like they are taking very good care of you,
its good they are being so thorough. And scar tissue can leave lumps, My dad had a operation and the scar left a lump in it.
If you need to cry , then you must (remember not to bottle it up)...
Id love to chat on the phone to you one day, it would be nice to hear your voice :D
Hopefully I will also get in chat tonight,,, like I say I will catch you,lol.
mirryx
Well I have been for my scan and now await the results.
I'm so anxious playing the waiting game when i was having scan done he kept on asking me questions that i thought why is he asking me these. He asked when every scar was done what year and for what. Then he kept going over the same bit where i felt and lump and another area and i just could not read his face. It was all silence in the room and i was getting more and more anxious, when he went i cried cos i just cant keep onjust trying to keep stuff together. Im sick of the constant worry factor.
Anyway await news on that now.
Also been to dentist today as i chipped my tooth on a sweet the other day got to go back tom for a clean and then next week for a check up on the rest of my teeth. luckily he did not charge me for today.
bobsy (with not a smiley face - again)
Well done for dealing with all that today mate - proud of you!!!
I was thinking about you all morning but thought I better not text incase you'd forgotten to turn your mob off and I set machines bleeping all over the place.
Big hugs sausage.
Piglet :)
Hi Bobsy, I too have been thinking of you today.
Well at least you done it :D I would of been exactly the same as you...
I think the atmosphere of those rooms are uncomfortable to be in for us anxiety sufferers .
Now have a nice bath, listen too some relaxing music and think of nice things (yeah easy said than done).
Another thing that may interest you tight now is a book called
Feel the fear and beyond, have you read that one ???
Basically she talks about higher level thinking and lower level thinking and how she used the techniques thru her breast cancer.
Take care Bobsy, you done very well today and Im proud of you :D
mirryx
Well done for coping so well Bobsy. Anyone would be scared and worried in your position.
Have they said when you are likely to get the results?
Karen
honeybee3939
23-01-07, 20:24
Hi Bobsy
I have been thinking of you also today Bobsy, im glad the day is over for you as it as been a worry.
Im pleased Piglet behaved too and didnt set the machines bleeping with her mobile !lol
Im proud of you Bobsy !
Sending you hugs hun !
Love
Andrea
xxxx
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
Thanks for replies.
Karen i should get the results back hopefully today as they are pretty quick with this sort of stuff.
All i did last night was touch the lump and as its sore with radiotherapy its now doubly (is that a word lol) sore.
Mirry i have not read that book but will look out for it or ask breast care nurse if she has a copy.
I have also been asked to go to see a hypnotherapist who does visualization techniques to cope with the fear of cancer and related issues so gonna try that but i hope its on a day when i dont work. I am now hoping to go back to work next month and i dont want to ask for anymore time off work to go. I already need an afternoon off to go on my assertiveness course.
another thing that worries me is that the hypnotherapist used to be my old dr and i think he will think "oh its you youve always been anxious havent you" as one day (about 18 years ago) he did say that all my problems were due to anxiety and i dont want him to think that i still have anxiety - if that makes sense. I just dont like people talking about me so i try to pretend i have not got anxiety as i dont want to be labelled with it all the time. Its like when i cry i think people think im weak and have anxiety and im always saying sorry when i cry.
I have tried hypnotherapy before but im always thinking what are they doing when i have my eyes closed and i darent relax too much as i dont trust them or what they could be doing and i also worry that if i go too deeply into it then i wont wake up. OMG im going off on a tangent here but just thought id let you know.
Thanks once again and i will post AS SOON AS I GET RESULTS
BOBSY X
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"> I just dont like people talking about me so i try to pretend i have not got anxiety as i dont want to be labelled with it all the time. Its like when i cry i think people think im weak and have anxiety and im always saying sorry when i cry.
BOBSY X
<div align="right">Originally posted by bobsy - 24 January 2007 : 08:55:06</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Morning hun,
You and I have discussed this so you know I am the same - I do think we need to work on this to change it though. We can't carry on for the rest of our lives apologising for our emotions or being embarassed by them.
For instance we know that Jo in Big Bro suffers panic attacks, does that now mean we think of her as weak?? I actually don't think that at all - I just think she's the same Jo that she was before I knew this info, warts and all!!! I've no doubt that is how other people will view us too.
Yes it can be kinda irritating to be given a label but can it be any worse than trying to hide the panic day in day out - I think not!!!
Bobs hun this is going to be my year of going public with the panic - I'm so bored with pretending I am ok!
Speak later special sausage :)
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Bobsy,
I know its not easy, when i go to the doctors I always think he will think "oh not you again"[Sigh...] must be our low self esteem
because for all we know he may think "oh its you, lovely to see you"
but "NO" we will think the worst and as my CBT asked me
"are you a mind reader" ?
If you cant get hold of that book, try your local library and if they dont have it you can order it from another library.
I love the term "sausage" that Piglet uses on her posts.....now I think in the past Ive been called chicken [:I]
does it depend on what your cooking for dinner that day Piglet,lol ?
mirryx
Well I have said 'quorn head' to one of the piglets when she was mucking around me in the kitchen recently!
I have used these words for as long as I can remember - it stops me needing to remember important details like peoples names! [:I]:D
Piglet xx
Hi there
just to let you all know that the scan was clear it was inflamed scar tissue due to radiotherapy.
I have an appointment with oncologist a week on monday to see what other treatments i am to have.
thanks for all your support and it was nice to chat to you yesterday mirry - eventually.
bobsy
Chatted today already but here's a big squeeze for you
<center>((((B))))</center>
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
honeybee3939
24-01-07, 22:29
Hi Bobsy !
Thats great news Hun, im so pleased for you, how did the dentist go today? bet you have a glowing smile now !
Its great to hear you have had such a positive day !
love
Andrea
xxxx
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
It was nice to get to talk to you in the chat room (at last), shame i couldnt stay long but look forward to a good laugh all together soon :D
Onwards and upwards Bobsy :)
mirryx
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