Social services coming tomorrow:(

[Kimberley456]

Iv been having a bad couple of weeks and iv been self harming and I wanted to die I went to the doctors and they are getting social services involved I have a 17 month little girl and I'm so worried they are going to take her off me. I'm worried my panics are starting to make me want to be sick. I'm wanting to go self harm but I'm trying my hardest not to do it.

Anybody else been in this situation if so what did they say.

[Kimberley456]

Thank you x

[xdavex]

I'm sorry for what you're going thru, firstly for your reasons to self harm & secondly because social services are involved - I have a huge dislike of social services, as in 2005 I requested their help & advice regarding my 13yr old sons behaviour which was getting out of control , basically social services did'nt want to know & did'nt regard our case as being urgent so kept us waiting 5mths before a social worker visited & put my son on a PGL behaviour correction week away.

More recently my son got into more bother mixing with the wrong sort & bringing trouble to our house, after me warning him several times over many months ,I had no alternative but to throw him out & he now lives with his grandmother who is experiencing similar issues from his behaviour.
My 'know it all' cousin Carol (who incidently has no children f her own) accused me of abandonning him & so out of spite she reported us to social services making malicious & accusations of my wife fiddling benifits & neglect to our younger son who has autism. Both malicous accusations were prooven groundless & yes my wife has her faults, BUT I am responsible & due to other circumstances I'm mostly at home to ensure things run like clockwork, I told the social worker words to that effect & also reminded them of their 'non interest' when I had asked for their intervention a few years earlier, they do not understand the specific problems with our youngest son that I wont go into detail with here.

Basically you have issues with self harm, social services have the powers to take your child away untill such time its proven you've rectified your mind state of self harming for your daughters well being - Ideally could another family member look after your daughter on a short term / part time basis ? or could your husband partner take time off work to take over your role ? , its essential that you get the self harm issues resolved, (easier said than done - I know, sorry)
I wish you luck with this.

[AuntieMoosie]

Hello hun :)

As opposed to lots of wild stories that you might hear, social services don't go running around taking peoples children from them for no apparent reason :)

At the for front of every social worker, working with children and families, is the welfare of the children, just as it should be. Thankfully, as opposed to in the past, social workers now realise and understand that children can be damaged by being taken from their parents, and they will only ever take that action if it was really necessary, as in a child's safety, which must be their main concern.

As I understand it, a social worker would far rather work with a family in order to stop a child being taken, prevention is far better than anything else :)

So please don't be fearful and don't be defensive with the social worker, they are there to help and assist you, they will be able to advise you, get you any other help and support that you may need :)

They aren't just going to show up and take your child from you, they will want to help you through this difficult time, so please don't be fearful hun :hugs:

[xdavex]

social services don't go running around taking peoples children from them for no apparent reason

Sorry AuntMoosie I disagree, in certain area's social services do over react for the slightest valid reason, but I partly agree with what you say, but every circumstance is different & there are some what I'd describe as 'dedicated' social workers, its also of my own opinion that the majority of them latch onto cases that are an 'easy target' .

[starlight78]

As a social worker myself (sorry) I promise you Moosie is right. Mental health services have an obligation to contact children's services if the parents are struggling with their mental health, BUT that doesn't mean children's services will actually get involved long term.

Lots of people self harm to cope with their distress, unless you do it in front of your children or are at serious risk of hurting yourself to such an extent that you cannot care for your children I can't imagine that children's services will think that there is a role for them.

It is always the intention of social workers to facilitate families staying together wherever is safely possible.

Best way to deal with them is to be as open and welcoming as possible. B

[AuntieMoosie]

Hi Dave,

I do respect your opinion :)

But with all due respect, I cannot think of one valid reason that a social worker would remove a child for no real reason??

What would be in it for them? of what benefit would that be for the child or the family? How will they be able to answer for the actions in a court?

Then we follow on from those questions to a social worker having to find a suitable foster family for the child, not as easy as you might think it is and not so many foster families as you might think there are. Add to that the cost of such action, social services are already pushed to their very limits not only financially but also in terms of their staffing levels, which is why, sometimes they are not able to carry out the less "urgent" work and why sometimes you'll have to wait a while before even seeing a social worker if your case is not deemed "urgent" :)

As I've said I do respect your opinion, which you are, of course, entitled too :)

But taking into account all of the above, I still cannot see that a social worker would just opt for removing a child unless there were absolute valid reasons for doing so :)

starlight thank you for explaining hun :) I totally agree with you :)

Kimberley please don't be frightened, explain how you're feeling to the social worker and let them help and support you hun, they're not there to bring harm they're there to help :hugs:

[xdavex]

Yes, maybe i am over-reacting & so I appologize, sorry Starlight & AuntMoosie:)

In my own experience of me requesting help from S.S , the delayed response of at least 4 months almost resulted in us been evicted because of my older sons continued criminal damage & behaviour at the time, but to be fair, the social worker admitted they'de under-estimated the urgency of my request for help & I agree they have a huge workload with similar cases more-so in this day & age.

After going on a PGL course our older son changed considerably for the better, untill we moved house & he again got himself involved with a bad crowd.

Tbh I'm a little annoyed in the comparison that social services acted on a heresay/malicous referal from my interfering cousin within 2 or 3 weeks.

Admitidly, others have given better advice than me on this thread & I'm of a certain grudge view because of my own mild experience.

I'll say no more & wish you the best of luck kimberley:).

[Bonnibelle]

I'm sure they won't take your children from you. A relative of mine self harms, aswell as hurting his own children, his GP knows this but Social Services have never taken his children away. Not saying I agree with that decision but it just shows that they aren't the monsters you may think.

It is good you've opened up to your GP and been honest, you'd not be a good parent if you kept it from him so don't worry you've done the right thing.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon x

[Kimberley456]

Thanks for your replies everyone

He's been and I don't no what I was worried about. All he wanted to check is that I'm not self harming in front of my little girl. He's not going to take her off me they just want to help me. X

[Sparkle1984]

I'm glad it went well for you and that they are going to help you. :)

[AuntieMoosie]

Oh Kimberley I'm so glad that all went well for you, I knew it would hun :)

I hope that you're able to get lots of help and support now hun :hugs:


dave there is no need for you to apologize :) You are entitled to you opinion which I have fully respected :) I think you were probably caught up in there just not being enough staff to be able to help everyone, it is unfortunate and it may have been more positive for you had they referred you on or given you advice about where you may have been able to obtain some help :)

[xdavex]

Thanks aunt Moosie :),

Also, kimberley ,I'm pleased to hear it went well for you & I'm wishing you all the best:)

Dave.

[speckles69uk]

Hi Kimberley,

I'm glad to hear everything went well for you. I think quite often, due to bad press with social services, we (including myself) often think of the worst case scenario. The press never seem to highlight any of the good work they do, hence such a fear of them. I'm not saying they're all perfect, who is, but I'm glad to see a positive outcome for you and your little girl. I hope they are able to offer you continued support.

Take care and best wishes

Rebecca

xxx

[Magic]

Kimberley,
So glad for you that all went well with Social Services.
Hope you are getting help for youself .
Sending you :hugs::hugs:xx

[Col]

So pleased for you. Glad it was a positive outcome.

[starlight78]

Hi Kimberley,

So pleased it went well for you. Us social workers aren't all bad ;o) x x