Fridge at home

[Em.ma]

Hi in my fridge at home I've noticed a foul smell...
My mum will not allow me to clean it. It's gross in their and dirty... I said it'll attract something like mice. It's really foul. She screamed At me that I shouldn't touch it but she won't do it! Theirs never a time I can do it without her knowing she never goes out. I'm now scared to et food out the fridge. They won't wrap cheese or anything they Spill yogurt everywhere . My safe place is my room which is very clean all of the time . Only room she'll let me touch. Very worried.
On the upside now waiting for my cbt referall.

---------- Post added at 06:53 ---------- Previous post was at 06:51 ----------

Also dad and brother will wee all over toilet floor and not clean it up I do I tell them they don't care!!

---------- Post added at 06:54 ---------- Previous post was at 06:53 ----------

Scared we will eat some deadly bacteria in fridge and die. I won't make it to New York in November.

[sparkle_1979]

Can u not move out?

[Daisy Sue]

yep i was going to ask the same as Sparkle... don't think i could hack it very long living like that...

[Justinf]

Your mum won't let you clean the fridge?
I will pay you to clean mine.

[sparkle_1979]

I don't get why ur mum wouldn't allow the fridge to be cleaned ? Sounds like some control issues ging on and I'd be looking to move out ASAP

[Em.ma]

I don't either . She wouldn't hesitate to use violence if I did do it though.. I'm to scared to eat from it. Have had a run of ravioli today just to scared to eat.

[Em.ma]

Mum says she's going to clean it tomorrow but still scared as we have obviously eaten from it lol.

[xdavex]

Yes, food hygene is very important & your mum should know this, if there's a bad smell from your fridge then I would guess either some milk has been spilt beneath the fridge or fridge/freezer , or the fridge is'nt cooling as it should do because the thermostat setting is wrong or has some other defect.

Your mum does'nt sound a nice person & tbh she ought to know better, & that goes for hygene in the bathroom/toilet, I'm quite alarmed by her negligent attitude ,especially as you say you fear her using violence towards you over something good you wish to help or advize with :scared15:

Can you not move out to live with a nicer family member or a friend you can trust & be supportive about this with you ?

I hope things improove for you soon.

[Em.ma]

Hello I think the bad smell is from the filth in their. It's dirty
She said she's cleaning it today but obviously I have been eating from it and am terrified I will now die/
No option of moving out at the moment I'm afraid

[Em.ma]

She didnt do it!!! Now she says Monday!!
FFs I don't think she realises the stress this is causing me.
It's filthy and disgusting I can't even look in their it's gross.
When I came home and saw it still like it I burst into tears she won't let me do it.
I'd do it tomorrow instead of going to nans but I'm scared to touch it it really is gross in their :(. we are going to die or become seriously ill.
Seriously think I may stay behind at home and do it.
But I'm scared ill get ill from touching it.

---------- Post added at 18:15 ---------- Previous post was at 18:11 ----------

Theirs bits of dirt stuck everywhere brown marks everywhere its dirt and pure filth and they don't bloody care about it!!!!!!@

---------- Post added at 18:23 ---------- Previous post was at 18:15 ----------

Told her I'd do it she screamed and screamed now and said it'll be done Monday. I don't get it I thought most parents would want their teens/young adults to offer to clean do laundry etc etc. but she won't let me will only let me clean my room!

[swgrl09]

If you cannot move out, is it possible to get a small fridge for your room and a microwave or toaster oven so you can keep it the way you like? Then no worries about what your mom will do, and you can have clean and sanitary food for yourself

[Em.ma]

I was actually considering doing this my self. As I can't carry on for to much longer like it
I'm so scared though that we are ill already .
It wasn't until it started smelling I got worried about it.
Could we get ill?
She swears she'll do it Monday and its ok cause the food is in packaging but I'm terrified really really scared.

---------- Post added at 18:48 ---------- Previous post was at 18:38 ----------

http://i50.tinypic.com/14nii3k.jpg
This is what I mean.
Gross right?

---------- Post added at 18:48 ---------- Previous post was at 18:48 ----------

Looks even worse then and smells flaming vile I tried to start doing it but she nearly threw her self at me!
In tears over it all.

[lizzie29]

I was going to suggest the same about you getting a fridge in your room.
Try not to worry about getting ill from the food - you've eaten it, it's too late now to do anything. I am surprised that she won't let you clean it - most people would jump at the chance!

---------- Post added at 18:51 ---------- Previous post was at 18:50 ----------

That brown looks like cardboard that's got wet and then stuck - is it? I wouldn't worry about that if so.

[Em.ma]

Think so.
The dirt however at the bottom.
I can't explain the smell but that is what makes it very worrying their must be some deadly bacteria in their festering away that will kill me!.
Might have to resort to getting a fridge.
She promised me she'd do it and now she says Monday I don't believe her.
I can't eat from their.i ate from their again today but I'm so worried.
Could I get ill? Can't stop crying over it and they don't care just says the foods in packaging what difference does that make?!...
Could still affect us and we will all die from it.
I'm scared it'll be something that won't show up for a week or a few weeks then will slowly make its way on us.
I'm scared I have a few days or weeks to live now.
Now my guts making strange noises and I've just eaten :(

---------- Post added at 18:59 ---------- Previous post was at 18:55 ----------

Suppose if she does do it at least I've took a pic to show the hospital.
Can't get rid of these thoughts.
Waiting for a cbt letter through the post. Can't wait that long. Don't even think ill be alive to see it though.

---------- Post added at 19:22 ---------- Previous post was at 18:59 ----------

I'm quite sure this isn't irrational and I have every reason to be worried this time!
Just me?

---------- Post added at 20:13 ---------- Previous post was at 19:22 ----------

Not eating out the fridge until she does it or let's me do it I've told her.

---------- Post added at 20:14 ---------- Previous post was at 20:13 ----------

Ill live off porridge that needs Boling water and jacket spuds and beans or tinned soup and bread.

---------- Post added at 20:14 ---------- Previous post was at 20:14 ----------

And bananas and pears and apples that are in my room. And freezer food.

---------- Post added at 20:25 ---------- Previous post was at 20:14 ----------

Just found vomit left by my dad in bathroom sink all chunky and horrible he wouldn't clean it so I had to!!! I live with pigs.
What if his vomited because of the gross fridge!! This is it we are all going to start dropping dead now. It's probably me next then mum then brother :(

---------- Post added at 20:28 ---------- Previous post was at 20:25 ----------

If not why has he?? He seems fine no tummy bug etc. it wasn't runny but chunky and was hard to shift down thenplug hole.
I'd rather live in my shed than here.
Had enough. Of life may as well sleep for the practice of what it'll be like when I'm dead nothing.

---------- Post added at 20:34 ---------- Previous post was at 20:28 ----------

If I wasn't so scared to die i could cure my anxiety so earlier :'(.
Why has he vomited it must be connected somehow it must must must be because of the fridge.
Theirs no other explanation he was not unwell at all its because of the fridge I know it is.

---------- Post added at 22:50 ---------- Previous post was at 20:34 ----------

Can't sleep . Brain won't switch off. Can't do nothing

---------- Post added at 23:16 ---------- Previous post was at 22:50 ----------

I've tried tele games puzzles books nothing's keeping my attention .
Why would he vomit!?
We are all deadly ill I know it.
Theirs something wrong.
Something wrongs in his system.
:(
I can't do nothing
No ones listening
Not got a friend to tell
Not got any family to tell
Can't get any help

---------- Post added at 23:20 ---------- Previous post was at 23:16 ----------

Also whole body aches badly
Legs
Shoulders
Arms
This could be a sign ?

[sarahsarah]

It isn't the cleanest fridge I have ever seen, no. It's not the worst either, but I can see why you're concerned. However, the food we can see in that photo is all in packets so it should be alright to eat.

Why would your mum be unhappy about you cleaning out the fridge? I'd be delighted if someone would clean mine.

[Daisy Sue]

i think as long as the fridge temperature is correct, and the food you eat is from the packages, and is in date, you should be fine.

as mentioned above, it's not the cleanest fridge ever, but i can't see anything mouldy or particularly gross in there. if it smells horrid, then yeah there's probably something that needs throwing away... maybe if you can't clean the fridge out without her knowing, you might get chance to look through and find the culprit food that's causing the smell, and just throw that away?

[nomorepanic]

It doesn't look that bad to me.

I lived in a student house and have seen far far worse than that and I am still alive!

[nomorepanic]

Emma you need to move out of home ok and then you won't have all these worries

[mikewales]

Doesn't look that bad to me either, needs a wipe down, but all the food is wrapped so isn't touching anything. If there is a bad smell it is probaly just some spilled milk, which isn't anything major to worry about.

[Granny Primark]

I agree with mike. There is nothing worse than the smell of milk gone sour.
As a community care worker ive been in some of the filthiest houses ever. Id go in them with rubber gloves on and plastic aprons.
Dont tell your mum but just get some anti bacterial spray and put it on kitchen roll and give it a quick wipe when your mums gone out. Its only a few minutes job.

[Pipkin]

Hi Emma,

I'm afraid it's not the fridge that's the problem, it's your reaction to it which, I guess, is why your mum gets frustrated. I could reassure you that it looks ok but if it wasn't the fridge, it would be something else.

Make sure you're getting help for your anxiety and really working on any therapy you're doing.

Take care

Pip x

[Em.ma]

Hi guys.
Fridge was cleaned today by mum.
I realise looking bad how extreme my reaction was and irrational and not needed .
I am currently awaiting on a cbt referall made by my gp last week.

[Brunette]

Hi Emma,

I'm really glad you have been referred for CBT but there are other issues that you need to deal with too. Your mum appears to have mental health issues which make her violent and bullying towards you.

Is there a housing trust or refuge you can contact locally that can find you somewhere else to live, even if only temporarily?

Just because this situation involves a woman and a daughter and not a man and his partner it doesn't mean it isn't domestic abuse - it is and it's a crime.

I think it's been said before that you overreact to minor issues (like the fridge) while managing to ignore the major ones that are staring you in the face. It's a very telling symptom Emma and it's stopping you from dealing with the real problem which is your domestic situation.

[Em.ma]

Thank you. Yes I think someone did mention that before? May have been you?
I tend to keep what happens with my family hidden away from everyone.
No confidence to tell anybody at all.
I did have six sessions of counselling last year and told the lady a watered down version of what it is like but I just feel silly ans people have a lot worse going on than what I do.

[Brunette]

That's why you need to find a place of your own lovey, once you get some breathing space it will help you get things into perspective and, more importantly, give you some control over your life.

Once you have, hopefully you'll feel confident enough to tell someone about everything going on at home. It might help to focus on how much better you will feel if you get all this off your chest and get some help.

Further down the line you'll be able to find a way to deal with your family, especially your mum. Perhaps that might mean limiting your visits or only meeting her in public places. Whatever it is, it will be up to YOU and that's the main thing.

Take your life back Emma. You own it to yourself.

[Em.ma]

Hi brunette.
I defiantly still love my mum and always will. I feel our relationship will be better not living together though..
I agree with what you have said,
Thank you :)