Feel so strange!!!!

[Paulac]

Hi all, can't believe I'm actually gonna write all this cuz I'm so scared of the replies,but here goes......

Gonna sound really strange but last night felt abit panicky so naturally all the wierd thoughts come too, but one that really freaked me out and I havnt stopped thinking about is what if I start to not recognise people or surroudings, don't know why but I was doing that thing were u say something over and over again till eventually it sounds wierd, well I was doing that with my husbands name, lol. Then I started to feel abit detached from him like not really seeing him as I usually do, freaked out thinking maybe this is what happens when u start to loose your mind maybe u fail to recognise everyone u love and just see them as random people. So sitting trying to talk myself out of it like remembering every little thing about him and other people I love to reassure myself I still know them( sounds ridiculous I know).
I just keep imaging myself some where loosing it and him trying to help me and me not recognising who he is at all.
I also feel really odd myself, I'm really deep thinking everything about myself, don't feel me at all.

I prob havnt explained this all properly sorry but would be so grateful if someone maybe knew what's wrong. Could this really all be anxiety?????
Also I'm on my 12th day of citalopram 10 mg.

Thanks all
Paula xx

[trish1955]

hi i added this fear to my list of fears a number of years ago i rember going for hypnosiss and telling him about this fear he said well would that be a bad thing maybe that person wont have panic anxiety and agraphobia i laughed but it didnt help i became even more afraid of going out incase i lost my mind why out i was afraid to stay in incase it happend why on my own it was like some times my mind was in like over load and i could not imagin any thing right or say what i was saying as if my mind was blocked for a second but a councilor once told me if you was loosing yr mind in any way you would not even be aware its happening you would not notice at all its other people who notice not you any way i do feeel for you i no how scarey it is and to be honest i still have a slight fear there when i feel like my mind goes like blocked for a few seconds take care trish xx

[Lissa101]

I've had this feeling lots when I had depersonalisation. With me I became scared that I would suddenly stop being able to move my body or understand language. It's very weird and scary but a normal part of anxiety and it does pass. Best thing is to try and distract yourself and not think about it. x

[anxiousmal]

Hey Paulac

There is nothing to worry about I assure you. Ive had the same worries and thoughts with my anxiety and its not nice and your not losing your mind. I think its quite a common worry with anxiety and the feelings that come with it. Just relax and let the thoughts go.:yesyes:

[hannah26]

Hi Paula, sorry if I am abit late with the reply.
What you have written is exactly how I have felt this last few months and I was told by my Dr, cbt counsellor and many people on here that what we feel is something called Derealisation, now I'm no Dr so I couldn't possibly say that this is what you are experiencing but for me it was and your thoughts sound very similar.
Derealisation is the process you brain goes through when you have had extreme anxiety or a long period of anxiety, it's your brain cutting out all the excess stimulants around you to recover, it's like it's saying I've had enough I just need a break. Mine started when I started Citalopram, it was so bad I was anxious every day, I still have it a bit now but it's got a lot better. Citalopram can cause high levels of anxiety when you first start taking them, I came off because I couldn't handle it but you have to talk to your Dr to get the right dosage etc because they work miracles for lots of people.
One time I was sitting looking at my little sister, all of a sudden I thought oh god I don't know her really, I'm going to forget her it freaked me out, but it went away when I calmed down. It's taken me weeks and weeks but I've finally realised that they are just thoughts, nothing more nothing less. A person without anxiety could think the same thing and say that's a weird thought and that's it but we put so much fear on to the thought that it causes us real fear.
I know it's hard, but you have to ignore any strange thoughts that come in to your head, don't try and push then out and not think them because we all know that doesn't work. Just ignore and distract. Let the thoughts come but don't pay them any attention because that's what fear loves, a bit of attention. I don't always practise what I preach because it's flipping hard but try it b cause it does work.
Sorry if I sound a big know it all, believe me I'm really not, I've had anxiety and panic attacks for 12 years and knew none of this stuff until recently so I thought I'd just share what I've learnt I hope it helps you a little bit.

Good luck to you
Hannah x x