Barbeque Panic! HELP

[Insomniac]

I could do with some help,or advice or anything really. I am going to a barbeque tonight with my husband and daughter. It was arranged weeks ago when we had friends over to ours.

But about 3 weeks ago I had my worst panic attack so far. Mostly it had been nausea and diahorrea (sorry but its true), hot & cold shivers, dizziness and a desperate need to get away.

The last one was so bad, with difficulty breathing too, tight chest, palpitations and though it eased off now and again lasted almost all night! I could not get it under control at all. The next day I spent feeling terrified that it would happen again. Fear of fear.

The two things worse about this one were it happened at home (where I had always been safe before) and I could not get it back under control (which I usually could eventually). I was supposed to go to Wales the next day and did not go. Thats probably what set me off. But I had spent a week in Forest of Dean and a week in Cornwall with no real difficulty.

Broken sleep last night and I feel edgy already. If I don't go tonight my daughter will stay home with me. She's only 8 but if I am "poorly" she won't want to leave me on my own. She doesn't know about the panic only that sometimes I don't feel well.

My mouth felt dry this morning, which made me feel panicky because I am already edgy (normally I can cope with this symptom). Then I started to get hot & cold.

I don't know if I can go tonight. Can anyone suggest coping strategies. I don't want to let everyone down. I'm on seroxat which I thought helped. It has been upped since my last attack, so in theory I should be better. But I'm so anxious and about having a bad attack in public that I feel I'd probably bring one on anyway.

The earlier symptoms I could always cope with, even if I needed to get some space I could. Our friends are lovely, even if they don't know about the PAs. But if the breathing, palpitations and all that started it would be so much worse for being in front of other people. HELP! :-(

Lisa.

[catangel]

Hi there,

So sorry to hear you are having such a rough time recently. If you go tonight and you end up not feeling good, could you not leave?

I get the same thing as you, where i panic about panicking in front of people. When im out somewhere tho, if i start to feel a bit panicky and that i cant cope, i take myself out of the situation and go somewhere quiet just for a few minutes (for example the bathroom or a bedrrom etc.) and I just stay there deep breathing to relax me and wait for it to pass.

Now i know this is the hardest one of all but it does work. Try not to fear the attack. try to think, ok so what if i start to panic, i can control it and i wont let it beat me. As soon as you can begin to put the panic into context the sooner you can begin taking back control of your life.

I hope this helps :D Good luck!

Cat xx

[matilda]

I have been feeling really bad for about two weeks now but i have found that if i make myself do stuff then it takes my mind of it and i feel better. If you stay in will you not just get more anxious?

[nomorepanic]

Try to have a relaxing afternoon and do some slow breathing to calm yourself down.

Make sure you have something to eat and drink plenty of water.

When you go tonight go with a positive attitude that you will be fine when you get there.

You can always leave if you really have to. Remember that the failing is in the not trying so give it a go and see how you get on.

You could have a fab time and really enjoy it - you never know!

Nicola

[manmoor]

Hi Lisa,

Aw hun. Just you go to bbq and have a great time. If you dont feel up to it you can always leave. Think positive today and by the evening you'll be ready to party. Have a great night you can do it and dont get to drunk now.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[Insomniac]

Thanks Cat, Matilda, Nic and Mnady

I'm going to try. We leave at 5pm so I've got time yet. My hubby says we can leave any time, he'll just tell them I'm not to well today and might have to leave early - giving me an excuse if I need one.

Its only about 25 mins away from home, so not that far really. I'm trying hard not to think about the fear. Telling myself I will be well. I'll take a bottle of water in the car too.

Thanks for your support. Its just good knowing I'm not alone. Hopefully I come on tomorrow and tell u all how well I got on!

Lisa.

[Insomniac]

Hello again

Well I did it! I gave myself permission to back out if I needed to, or to leave early. And I think that gave me the freedom to stay.

We drove two friends there, but arranged that they could have a lift home with others if necessary. The drive was an anxious one, with me chattering a lot, keeping my mind busy.

Told myself all the way it wasn't far and I could come home any time I liked. When I got there it felt very crowded (even though it wasn't) and I don't know all the people very well, but I do know they are a nice crowd. I kept telling myself I wasn't trapped and could leave any time if I wanted to, but that I would not need to. I was anxious for about half a hour til I settled to the place and felt safe there.

I ate dinner there, then relaxed and chatted to a couple of people. And yes.... I did enjoy myself! There were difficult moments, but I did it! This will help me prepare to go back to work next week.

Thanks again for your support.

Lisa.

[manmoor]

Hey Lisa,

Well done you. See your wonderful you are. And you'll do the same next week at work too cos your strong hun.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[smithjam1]

Well done, it is always the bit before that always gets to me. Then when you have done what you are going to do, you wonder why you worried so much.

[Lindalou64]

hey[8D] Bob........lol
yahhhhhhhhh ya did it ...ya know thats what i would do give myself permission to leave if i must so i would not be panicky....it always worked for me ......good for you...............Linda xxxxxx

[Insomniac]

Thanks again everyone.

Sadly I'm feeling like crap today cos I hardly slept last night. My body was buzzing with stress, adrenaline, tight chest, dizziness, palpitations and difficulty breathing.

I was doing my relaxation and breathing exercises for ages. Every time my body started to relax and I started dozing off it started again. Extremely tired and upset today.

Back in the "what if" zone. What if I can't cope at work. The afternoon part of my job requires me to stay where I am. There's often no'one else to relieve me til 3.15. I wonder if I am obliged to tell my boss, just in case I have to suddenly let him down.

Its the new symptoms that bother me most. Feeling sick or dizzy, even tummy trouble I could cope with and work. Its not easy but I could. But the palpitations and breathing difficulty. The need to escape is so strong now when it starts. What if that happens at work. I know the more I worry the more likely to have trouble.

I'm so totally in the zone again. Will I ever get better. Other illneses go away eventually. This seems to go on forever. There's no logic and no cure apparently. You can take pills which help a bit. I'm on seroxat but I still feel so stressed its unbelievable.

How long does it take to get better? Will I find pills that work? Will I lose my job first. We are bad enough financially...if I lose my job too we be right up the creek. Just thinking about it makes me shake and gives me hot & cold shivers. Butterflies are back with a vengance!

Sorry to sound so down. Its just that I managed the BBQ last night, though some of it was a struggle. But then had such a bad night. What if I feel at work like I did at BBQ? ("What if" again).
It will mean I can't do my job. I'm a teaching assistant. I can't just walk off and take 5 if I'm anxious. Which then makes me feel more stressed. HELP!!!!


Lisa.:(

[catangel]

Hey hun,

Well I have to say I unfortunately suffered a similar experience this weekend (in my post so dissapointed) I'd been doing so well lately and then when Id built myself up to cope with a weekend away, the inevitable happened and I had a panic attack!!

I think we are more likely to suffer from anxiety when weve got through a worry and dealt with the situation, as our emotions are still high from the build up to the event so the next problem we are faced with can just spiral out of control. Just hang in there, keep telling yourself you will be fine :) and youve always got us here to support you. As Mandy kindly said to me in my post, you did it and got through your fear once so you can do it again. Keep smiling.

Cat xx

[lilmoma]

HELLO..My name is Lisa and I no how you feel..dont give up..I was at a barbecue today and I did good..after a week of extreme panic attack...I really enjoy myself..and kept a positive attitude..I also lost my job and thought like you..but God made a way for me to get disability from the attacks//I was worried..and the attacks got worst..but My blessing came to me soon as I got out of work..just relax try I no you do it's hard..but if you have to call someone..do it and talk you way into what ever you r doing till you calm down..it's a struggle but we can do it..sorry you feel bad today..but try to think of today and not tomorrow..you gonna get through this tonight..and I was like that..couldnt sleep but it was my medicine stoppin me from sleeping..now I stop so I get my rest..you have to get plenty of rest..take a hot bath and light candles around the tub and meditate..relax and maybe put on ya favorite song you like..hope you feel better..im always here and No how you feel..bye for now..

[Insomniac]

Thanks Cat and Lisa for your replies. It all really helps to know there are others out there and you're not alone.

I slept OK last night. Kept telling myself that anxiety would not take hold. Did my breathing exercises whenever it started. Got up well. Felt very stressed about today. So I decided I would break it into very small parts. First I would do my hair. Then I would make sure my daughter was up and OK. And so on.

Anything further than that threw me into anxiety. Actually walking out the door and getting in the car was amazingly difficult. I was almost in tears, but held it back and got in the car. Chatted a lot with my daughter on the way to school to distract myself.

I made it through the day. It was not easy. But I did it. I also had a chat with my boss about the situation. Partly for fair warning for him, and also so I can have support or understanding if I am unwell at school.

So I survived. Tomorrow will be easier. Still anxious, but not so much. The first day is always the worst.

Thanks to everyone again for all your lovely support. It helps so much.

Lisa.