View Full Version : Health anxiety and fear of death
My recent bout of HA (I had another bout in my 20s but got over that) started a few months after my father died. I think the grief combined the reminder of my own mortality is what started off this bout. Since then I've looked at my age - 48 and realised that I'm almost certainly well over half way through my life now as I suffer high BP which is treated by meds and high cholesterol and am overweight - though trying to put the latter one right. This has sent my HA into overdrive as I'm petrified of dying and the fact that it's inevitable and getting closer with no escape is fuelling my anxiety greatly so every symptom I get I feel is fatal. I feel that this fear of dying complicates my HA and makes it much harder to deal with as even if I talk rationally to myself about symptoms at the back of my mind I know that the day I die is forever getting closer.
Does anyone else have this fear fuelling their health anxiety and how do you deal with it?
Hi,
It's been my fear for the past 5 years, since having my first panic attack... I've fought with numerous symptoms ever since, and had lots of test... all negative.
I share your fear of death.... I'm turning 40 years old this year... my father had a big heart attack when he was about 43, (which he survived!) and since my panic attack it brought mortality to the forefront of my mind....
Recently, meditation and taking a more Buddhist approach to life is helping me... ie, our fear of death usually comes from being scared of not existing anymore... it's not true... as our bodies, whether buried or cremated, become something else, and contribute to nature in some way.... here's a video that helps me with me fear of death... I hope that you can find some reassurance in it. The video was made by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh... I have found a lot of help from his videos, and he also has books, specifically about the fear of death. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odWIPhj-ivo
Eek, please spare a thought for me...I have the same fears as you and I'm 64 :scared15: :D
What a wonderful video, Dazza. Thank you, it was just what I needed to hear. I've read some of his writing and it always offers some comfort.
I believe health anxiety is a fear of death and not particularly health.
People with health anxiety mainly work themselves up over cancer and terminal illnesses, not so much a cold, flu etc.
Its because if we get a cold, we don't mind so much because we know its not deadly.
I believe health anxiety is a fear of death and not particularly health.
People with health anxiety mainly work themselves up over cancer and terminal illnesses, not so much a cold, flu etc.
Its because if we get a cold, we don't mind so much because we know its not deadly.
I agree. My health anxiety is the constant fear of dying of something that the tests haven't caught/dying in general. I'm only 20 and I'm terrified of it! I think I need to find a way to come to terms with mortality =/
BubblegumUK
26-01-13, 19:44
I'm not scared of dying as such, i'd just want to be in control of my own death or at least die in my sleep or something when i'm old. The prospect of dying from a disease terrifies me because i'm still relatively young (31) and although i do get suicidal thoughts and fantasies from time to time, its the fact that i have no control over a disease.
Death is inevitable and i accept that, If i'm old and i've lived my life and stuff it wouldn't be so bad, because i would have done the things i want to do or at least tried them. But if i died young because of a disease its the fact my body is taking control of me dying young, its not my decision if that makes sense?
I am the same as Bubblegumuk I don't fear death as such, as when we are dead we won't know about it or be suffering, it's more the fact that If I get ill I won't be able to fulfil my life as I want it, it's scary but I think we just need to enjoy the present! X
My fear is of having to put my affairs in order re who will take care of my kids and the fear that my kids, 12 and 7, will have to watch me go downhill and eventually leave them. They went through hell when my marriage broke up and Im terrified of them going through anything upsetting and stressful because, like me, they are very emotional. Also I have only been with my partner for 3 years and I worry that I wont live to have a long life with him. Im waiting for an assessment for some treatment for my HA. Its ruining my life
Andrea x
What a wonderful video, Dazza. Thank you, it was just what I needed to hear. I've read some of his writing and it always offers some comfort.
You're welcome... I get great comfort from his words, and Buddhism in general. I also get similar comfort about life from the Tao Te Ching, an ancient Chinese book, which basically teaches us to live in harmony with nature and detach from our ego, which is the cause of many sufferings in our minds. It's helped me a lot. :yesyes:
I ha vw the same fear of terminal illnesses,it's driving me mad after all the tests and reassurance from the doctors I still think there missing something.ive been suffering from illness symptoms for almost 2years and it doesn't seem to be getting any better it seems to be getting worse i have bad days and not so bad days but I never feel well,I've recently been on 2.5mg of diazipam for about a month and my symptoms did get better but I ran out of diazipam and a got all new symptoms.....could this be withdrawel from diazipam.stabbing pains in hands and feet,palpitations,headaches,severe neck stiffness and pain,burning in hands and feet hightened anxiety,loss of appetite ?????
I think it's unlikely to be withdrawal after only a month. More likely that now you're not taking the diazepam you're getting anxiety again.
Sometimes i think to myself "just come and take me. I've had enough. Take me now and let's get this over with."
xvolatileheart
27-01-13, 15:41
I agree. My health anxiety is the constant fear of dying of something that the tests haven't caught/dying in general. I'm only 20 and I'm terrified of it! I think I need to find a way to come to terms with mortality =/That is exactly how I feel. I'm 24 and fear death every single day. In my mind, I just "know" that the doctors haven't caught something and I'm going to drop dead. Then, of course, I get symptoms like really slow or fast heart beat or dizziness/lightheadedness and I think "this is it, I'm going to drop dead right now" which makes the anxiety worse. It's a vicious cycle, and I feel like it's only going to stop when I come to terms with death... which I haven't. I don't know how.
shellyruby40
27-01-13, 21:26
i have a fear of death but the main one for me is fear of pain and dying in pain..and just pain in general.although i seem to differ lately in what i worry about..the terminal and horrible illness isnt so much in my mind anymore.its te little things..i think a cold is going to go into lung problems..oral thrush is going to spread throughout my body..my latest sinus infection is going to go to my brain.
its also the unexpected.because we dont know and we cant control it..but for me im not so scared of dying,its the fear of pain.
That is exactly how I feel. I'm 24 and fear death every single day. In my mind, I just "know" that the doctors haven't caught something and I'm going to drop dead. Then, of course, I get symptoms like really slow or fast heart beat or dizziness/lightheadedness and I think "this is it, I'm going to drop dead right now" which makes the anxiety worse. It's a vicious cycle, and I feel like it's only going to stop when I come to terms with death... which I haven't. I don't know how.
That's exactly how I am. I just want to be able to accept death but I can't, if I could I would feel so much better but instead I live in fear of it every minute of every day.
shellyruby40
28-01-13, 18:41
I've just come home from A & E, so tired of feeling this way. I've had so many different 'cancers' lately. Today it's bowel because of the constant pain, loud gurgling noises, feeling sick, heartburn. I'm having intermittent pain in my right side that buckles me when it comes, They've taken bloods which were all clear and are confident it's nothing 'sinister'. So why can't I relax and believe them?
I'm only 38, married to a wonderful and have three beautiful children. I am also in college teacher training. I'm just convinced something is going to come along to spoil it all. I'm on 20mg of Fluoxetine, have been for a few years now.....I don't think it touches me, I live in constant fear.
me too Babybear hugs xx
Everything said on this thread I agree with.
I don't have health anxiety I have a phobia of death. I panick over anything that can kill me... Mainly health but their are other things aswell.
I do have ha about things that wouldn't kill me though aswell so maybe it's a mixture
That is exactly how I feel. I'm 24 and fear death every single day. In my mind, I just "know" that the doctors haven't caught something and I'm going to drop dead. Then, of course, I get symptoms like really slow or fast heart beat or dizziness/lightheadedness and I think "this is it, I'm going to drop dead right now" which makes the anxiety worse. It's a vicious cycle, and I feel like it's only going to stop when I come to terms with death... which I haven't. I don't know how.
This describes me word for word!! Ive been worried about many things before - differnet parts of my body and at the moment its my heart, i literally go to bed every single night thinking that tonight will be the night im going to die in my sleep, i can just feel it. I get so many heart pains/palpatations/dizziness/shortness of breath every single day and its so draining emotionally and phisically. I feel like i dont want to do any exercise any more incase i push my heart too much and i drop down dead.
I think we have a right to worry about doctors though you hear stories all the time about how they miss so many things then people end up dead weeks later - thats the reality of it sometimes even though it is rare and a lot of doctors do actually try and help you. Im trying to get my doctor to give me an ECG i have been back 6 times now and they just refuse as my blood tests and blood pressure are fine.
I also need to comes to terms with death as i am terrified, i just try and tell myself that when were dead, were not going to know that were dead but even thinking about that is horrible!
Its just impossible to tell your mind to get a grip!
Has anyone been on half beta prograne for health anxiety,I had my first one this morning and I've felt no different,any replys will be great xxx
---------- Post added at 21:11 ---------- Previous post was at 21:07 ----------
And Ella everything in your last post about going to bed every night thinking u won't wake up.....wow that's me all over,I put my kids to bed every night and give them the biggest kiss cos I actually think it will be my last its horrible x
I have a huge fear of death that I'm hoping therapy will get to the bottom of. Just to put this out there, something my therapist said Monday night got me thinking yesterday. I wonder if my fear of death is actually not the fear of dying itself but the fear of underachieving and not leaving a legacy of some sort? I listen to a lot of classical music and was looking at a cd case yesterday and spotted Mozart was about 35-36 when he died yet he will live forever with his music. I'm not saying that I want a legacy like this but I then imagined myself dying in my 80's/90's (in 30's now) with happy and successful children and grandchildren and I thought to myself, if I died then I could smile and think about what I've accomplished.
I've no idea if this is what it would be like and I'm sure I'd probably be as scared dying then as now but it has made me wonder if this is sitting behind my fear somehow.
BubblegumUK I am in the same boat as you. I am 29 and I haven't been married or have kids yet. I think if I were in my late 60s to 80s and accomplished more I wouldn't fear death as much.
I don't care about dying. I care about leaving my son - his father died when he was five and I have had health anxiety ever since. It has ruined my enjoyment of life.
man I've wasted so much time worrying about dying that I have lost opportunities to actually live in the present with my kids. Today is the only day you need to think about. Enjoy today! Easier said than done, but life is a gift, that body that you are so worried about is a pretty amazing thing. It takes care of things constantly without you having to do anything. It fights off infection, it heals bones, it regenerates cells. It has the power to create life! Give it some credit. Give it some love people! Your body is always doing it's best to create perfect health. You can help it along with positive thoughts, exercise, eating right etc. Okay I don't know why I got on this soap box. But so many young people on here so scared, I feel bad, I've been there trust me. It seems like you can't break out of it. But you will! and your body is awesome! trust it and go for a walk! go enjoy yourself!
oh and please everyone watch Hannah and her Sisters. just do it.
I would like to contribute my view. I have suffered ill health most of my life, now I am early 40s hormonal things are catching up with me and I have always suffered headaches and migraines but they are getting worse, probably hormonal related. In the past I have had MRIs, other checks all come back clear for any deadly disease, but I still keep thinking, in my mind what if I have a brain tumour etc?
My life up till now has been difficult. I now have two children and I am scared what if I die who will care for them? (I have no family).
Also a year or so ago my mother died horribly of cancer. In agony, and crying through last of painkillers. She wasted away in front of my eyes in a terrible fashion. My father died 10 years or so ago also of cancer, also not particularly well.
I am terrified that I will also die horribly. I am only early 40s so would probably have 40 more years to go but every migraine and pain I worry is it cancer? Will I die?
Its horrible and preoccupies my time, I feel so bad. I sympathise with so many on here xx
Mrschurchill
12-11-14, 18:33
I'm 26 and that in fear of early death that I upped my life assurance from 4 x my salary to 6x. I have critical illness cover of £50,000 as I am soooo sure that I (already have) Cancer. And I have written my will with a soliciter and have it signed and back already. My daughter is nearly 2 and I want to make sure she is absolutely looked after. Her carers are named and everything!
Wow I sound crazy....!
It all sounds so familiar! :)
I take great comfort knowing we can't all predict the future so we're not really terminally ill, just anxious and hyper vigilant. Sorry if that seems off? It's not meant in a mean way, but a positive one :)
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