View Full Version : Trying to do the simplest of things
I see so many posts on here about making it to the supermarket, hairdressers. out for a meal etc. and it is heartbreaking to know the struggles we have to do these normal everyday things that so many people can just do every day without even thinking about it. It is a major achievement for most of us on here. I hadn't left the house for 10 days until today and I made it round the supermarket but abandoned my hubby at the checkout. I guess Saturday is not the best day for the supermarket! I was supposed to be going to a wedding fair with my daughter tomorrow but with the events of this week we have decided it isn't the best time to go especially as it is in such a large arena and a big event. She is going to take her boyfriends Mum instead and we have got tickets to go to a smaller wedding fair in February so that will be my goal!
nicola1980
26-01-13, 14:51
Well done for going to supermarket, its truly horrible when your paralysed with fear over leaving your house as i have been many a times x x
i often have thoughts like that, how i look around at others when i'm out and about and i envy the fact they seem to have the luxury of not even thinking about how near the exit door is, or panicking in case there's a traffic jam on the way home... but - and i'm sure this is a big but - they may well have issues just like us, or other problems they're carrying around. most people have something...
we just have to do the best we can, when we can, and forgive ourselves when we can't....
I just try to overcome the fear of leaving the house by telling myself I have to but sometimes don't get far before I am crying to turn round and go back home..but then at least I got over the doorstep. Some days it is easier than others but this week just hasn't been a good week for me. :hugs:
I just try to overcome the fear of leaving the house by telling myself I have to but sometimes don't get far before I am crying to turn round and go back home..but then at least I got over the doorstep. Some days it is easier than others but this week just hasn't been a good week for me. :hugs:
there's always next week :)
:hugs:
there's always next week :)
:hugs:
I know..I have to get out next week to see my Psychologist on Tuesday and on Friday I have the dreaded ATOS assessment!
nomorepanic
26-01-13, 15:42
Annie - when you feel like that stay out and do NOT run home.
It will pass but the more you run back to the safety of the home the more you are reinforcing the facts that you CAN'T do it and you CAN.
I know I can Nicola and most times try to make myself do it but it is embarrassing when I start to cry, if I can manage without crying I will stay. A few weeks ago my friends took me for a meal in the car and I cried all the way there but they wouldn't take me home and I must admit that I managed to control myself and go for the meal so yes I can do it :) It is easier to run home on my own though and I will listen to what you are saying and not run, I really must stop taking the easy way out and using my safety nets. I may have to get someone to lock my bedroom door during the day too! :)
Annie, my heart goes out to you. You have had a really bad week and I think you did really well to get to the supermarket today. You will be fine in a few days and will be able to tackle the situation with renewed strength and will manage to stay at the checkout as well. Just remember that you have had some bad things to contend with and of course they will have sapped your energy and resolve, but this does not mean that you will bounce back once your system sorts itself out. Love Di x
Thank you Di...I am just exhausted this week, when I know one of my children is hurting it hurts me too. Thankfully he seems in better spirits today after having some friends stay over with him last night. It is so good of you to think of others when you are going through so much yourself. You will be in my thoughts this week (you are every week but you know what I mean :) ) :hugs: xx
spottitchsam
26-01-13, 19:22
Annie I know exactly what you mean,I live in a culdesac and I watch all my neighbours especially at the weekend just coming and going,they don't seem to have a problem.but me I have to work my self up for even a walk round to my daughter's who only lives 3 doors away.I have got a Huge outing coming up in 3 weeks time.I'm taking my 12 year old granddaughter to butlins on my own.I have done this every year for the last 11year's.but now it seams its a big task now.x
Jean I hope your outing to Butlins goes well. I am sure your granddaughter will love spending the time with you. If we could do it before Jean, I am confident that we can get back to doing it again without worrying about it. :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Annie, you are getting positive messages. I cannot really add to what everyone else
has said. I just want to send you :hugs::hugs:your mind is full with a lot of worry
and pain. I would like you to try to relax and not to be locked in your bedroom.
Don't let your illness beat you. Keep going lovely lady,and don't give in xx
Thank you Magic. I have felt much better as today has gone on, Speaking to my son and knowing he is feeling more settled today has helped me. I am setting myself a goal to visit my parents and sister in law tomorrow and I WILL do it :D
That's fair enough Annie, to adapt your plans. Very sensible if you ask me - not to run before you can walk. It's all abut little achievements building into big ones.
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I also meant to say that I don't like supermarkets on Saturdays they are just too busy. I don't like anywhere busy in all honesty so I don't blame u.
That's fair enough Annie, to adapt your plans. Very sensible if you ask me - not to run before you can walk. It's all abut little achievements building into big ones.
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I also meant to say that I don't like supermarkets on Saturdays they are just too busy. I don't like anywhere busy in all honesty so I don't blame u.
I will try to pick a quieter time to go next time :)
missfishlash
26-01-13, 22:02
Sad youre not getting to the wedding fair tomorrow Annie but Im glad you got out today after your horrible week:hugs:
Annie,
going back to your opening post on this thread this is the very thing I have said countless times to those who seem to appear to have interest in my condition.
Things that people do without even thinking like getting up,having a shower,getting into a car or going for a work or just go shopping or get ready for work is a monumental mountain that we are faced with every day, and 90% of people who don't have our various illnesses don't understand and that includes many doctors and psychiatrists. They just dish out pills which may calm the individual and subdue the symptoms but don't always give a a quality of life which is acceptable and of course many get more anxious with the side effects which at least in my case are on going to various degrees.
If you walked down the street with your arm or leg in plaster,a majority of people would ask "what happened to you".
I find on the whole that people back off as they just don't understand our anxiety issues and in many cases one loses touch with those very same people.
This is not a generalisation but it hurts when friends of my wife say "how can you live with someone like that". It definitely can cause a huge stress in a relationship which leads to more anxiety.I sometimes feel that my wife is a carer for me and has accepted my condition and we will never give us a real quality of life together, and I commend her for sticking by me. Does anyone agree ?
My simple thing today will be a walk. I dont feel like I've got the energy, I'd rather stay at home but my partner asked me just now "where are we going for our walk and when". So, there's no get out, we will go & I know when I'm out there I'll enjoy it. I'd rather just go locally so we dont have to drive, I'm sure that's what we'll do.
Have you anything planned today anne? Even a little stroll?
Ricardo, yes i agree. i am not to bad at the moment, but i know what you mean.
With me now there are days when we have planned something for the next day,and
low and behold. I just cannot do it. My husband understands, but other people don't. To be honest I live from day to day.
Some folk think that because we are retired we have a good time,going here, there and everywhere but it is not the case. xx:hugs:
Tessar, I am going to push myself to go a walk today. The snow has gone now from here.xx:hugs:
Annie :hugs::hugs:xx
Ricardo I understand what you are saying and I have even said to my husband in my worst moments that I will understand if he wants to find someone else but he always says he doesn't want anyone else as he loves me so much. I do feel guilty that I stop him from going places but he just reminds me of the times when he has been ill and I have cared for him. At the moment I am like Magic living day to day. I am not feeling so bad today so we are going to have a little trip out to see my parents. Most of the snow has now gone and the sun is shining so that is a bonus :)
Annie, i hope your venture out went ok. at least the snow's on the way out. Its lovely to see some grass I must say.
I've said to my partner before now that I feel like in some aspects of our relationship I let her down. But she says it's ok. In fact, the other day I was looking after her as she was properly unwell (with an illness that triggers fear in me!). After that she came to me & said that all the things I worry about letting her down over really dont matter. That I am what matters, she wants to be with me.
Its great when You hear things like that and I'm really pleased that you and your husband are strong together, Annie. It means alot doesn it?
I am living week to week; My Monday, if you like, is Wednesday as that's the day I see my counsellor. My normal life goes on in the same structure as it's always done but because the counselling & what I'm dealing with is important, I focus everything towards that day but keep doing normal things meanwhile because routine is what keeps me going.
Magic, were you able to get out?
I managed much more than I expected: went out to buy bird food, filled the washers on my car, went for that walk & I even did some ridiculosuly simple things like emptying our recycling and rubbish to the bins outside. Later, my last task for the day (that I always feel is such an effort) will be having a bath. It isnt that I dont like baths but the effort just seems like sooooo much.
Tessar,
I am just the same. i do jobs around the house, this sounds really bad but i would be quite happy to sit in my pyjamas all day,but my hubby would not like that.
It takes me a long time to have a bath--this sounds awful too,but it is a chore
to get washed at all.
I have not had time to go out today, only to the back garden. Hubby goes for a
walk everyday weather permitting.He tells me who he's been talking to and it makes
me feel idle that i cannot rally round and go with him
I will go a walk tomorrow. Just carry on-------------xx roll on light nights!!!x
I managed to go with hubby to his sisters and they made us bacon and egg sandwiches for lunch :). They had their 6 month Grandson so it was lovely to see our great nephew. Then we went to visit my parents and I was anxiety free :) Feeling exhausted now I am back home but so pleased I managed to get out :)
Tessar I am pleased you sound like you have accomplished quite a lot today.
Magic, I agree light nights make me feel better.
spottitchsam
27-01-13, 16:50
I managed to go with hubby to his sisters and they made us bacon and egg sandwiches for lunch :). They had their 6 month Grandson so it was lovely to see our great nephew. Then we went to visit my parents and I was anxiety free :) Feeling exhausted now I am back home but so pleased I managed to get out :)
Tessar I am pleased you sound like you have accomplished quite a lot today.
Magic, I agree light nights make me feel better.
Annie,hooray you have done it.glad you had a lovely day with the people you love.now rest up for the rest of the day.once more welllllllllll done.x
Thank you Jean, I think it has done me good to get out of the house today :hugs:
spottitchsam
28-01-13, 05:44
just read the previous posts and I agree with all of what you're said.it is bloody hard for people like us.x
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