Classes for Men

[Dusty]

Autumn Classes for Men
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Classes begin Monday, September 13, 2006

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Basket and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.



Dusty xx

PMT - Proof that God must be a man.

[Wannabeloved85]

:D:D:D:D:D:D:DLOVE IT:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[clickaway]

[:O][:I][:O]

Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[manmoor]

Excellent very funny and so true.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[darkangel]

how true - thank god ive not got one anymore LOL





........life is for living not just for surviving

[twiglet]

thats brilliant dusty. i needed a good laugh:D
twiglet xx

[groovygranny]

:D:D:D:D:Dcan't stop!:D:D:D:Dlaughing!:D:D:D

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[clarissa]

on reading that I nearly wet myself with laughing so much, a friend who was here at the time said " Why is it that women can not lift the toilet seat after they have been"?

So is it always our fault!

there's a place that I dream of when I sleep, so peaceful, so quite, I call it mother earth.

[Ross]

Somewhat Sexist and Derogatory ;)












lol, fair play. I guess you ladies need to get your own back sometimes! :D


------------------------------------------------
Is There Really Gravity, Or Does Earth Just Suck?

[Southern_Belle]

Dusty,

:D:D:D I laughed out loud on all of these, so very funny! Thank you! :D:D:D

Bel

p.s.

I have a husband and 2 sons to sign up!!!

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[pips]

LOL LOL LOL X X X X

Pippa.

[jill]

That was soooo funny :D:D:D

LOVE JILLXXX


Laugher is a medicine, it make you feel better :D
feeling alot better now LOL [^]:D

[Eclipse]

:D:D Major Laugh Dusty!! :D:D

and as much as we girls must stick together.........here's one for the guys!


COURSES FOR WOMEN
The male staff will be offering courses to women of all marital status. Attendance in at least ten is mandatory:

* Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV
* 102 Doing Housework Without Complaining
* Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge
* Going to The Washroom Alone (formerly Coping Without My Friends)
* Understanding the Male Response to Do I Look OK?
* Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother
* Sex: Learning How to Initiate
* How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong
* Understanding the Male Response to Am I Fat?
* Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must
* The Toilet Seat: I Can Put It Down Myself
* Sex Thesaurus: Alternatives to Make Love
* The Weekend and Long Boring Walks Are Not Synonymous
* How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him
* The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle
* You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone
* Honest, You Don't Look Like Kim Bassinger -- But You're Acceptable
* Hairspray: The Effects On The Ecosystem (formerly: One Can Is Enough)
* Runs In Your Nylons? It's Not the End of the World
* Fishing: Being Able to Bait Your Own Hook
* Sex: More Than Just Lying There
* Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours
* Vacations: Doing Without Four Suitcases
* Makeup: The Less is More Theory
* Nagging: Stop the Insanity!

(You'll notice these aren't listed with times & dates.........but then maybe men need more instruction!! - LOL :D)

Magz
XX

[Dusty]

[8D] LOL [8D]

That was brilliant Magz. I'll have to take that into work to balance things out for the poor guys there. I think they are getting fed up with being asked if they need to attend Class 3!!



Dusty xx

PMT - Proof that God must be a man.