Comparing yourself to others

[jayjoe18]

I'm driving myself mad at the moment comparing myself to other people, in particular my cousin. She's 2 years younger than me but is doing all the things I want to (she's at college, going to uni this year, goes out with friends a lot, has a boyfriend, is close to passing driving test, etc etc) it just makes me feel so bad about myself and so upset, I cry about it a lot as I'm just desperate to do these things, I feel so jealous. I know it's bad of me to say but she's not even that nice of a person, she's very selfish and has a bad attitude sometimes. Me, I couldn't be nasty to someone if I tried and I just think at times it's unfair that she has all this going on in her life and I have nothing, I feel like I deserve it more than her. Am I being horrible in thinking this? Does anyone else think like this? I hate it, it's making me feel so down :(

[Annie0904]

You are not being horrible thinking like this and I think most anxiety sufferers look at the things others do and wish they could do it. When it gets to the point though that you are feeling jealous and desperate about it I think it then increases the anxiety. I try to think "Oh well I will be able to do that again soon" it is better to try to be positive and set your self little goals to do things instead of just watching others and comparing yourself to them :hugs::hugs:

[unspoken]

I think anxiety makes us kinder and more considerate. We overanalyse our thoughts and feel guilty about things we're not even sure we've done wrong.

It's easy enough for other people's lives to look perfect from the outside but you don't know what struggles they may be going through themselves or what struggles may afflict them in the future. Everyone is different and you have to set your own targets and resist the temptation to compare yourselves to others because that can only ever lead to disappointment. It's a big world out there and somebody will always be doing better than you. Work with what you've got and what you can do and as Annie says above, set yourself your own realistic goals.

I felt like this but Billy Bragg's brilliant song To Have And To Have Not helped me a lot with it:

Just because you're better than me
Doesn't mean that I'm lazy.
Just because you're going forward
Doesn't mean I'm going backwards.