Think depression is setting in

[Vegas 2013]

Hi All

Just needed to get some of this out. I started on pregabalin 5 months ago and thought I had found a miracle drug and the answer to my prayers, on a scale of 1-10 my anxiety had reduced to a 3 maybe and I felt I was coping with life quite well. I kept telling myself I am going to get better now finally! Been fighting this for years now. So this latest meltdown with anxiety and panic has left me shattered. I can't accept that this has to be my life and don't think im strong enough to keep having to deal with this over and over again. Signed off work for a week so the panic has subsided, but now I am in such a low mood I couldn't even face getting dressed today and didn't manage to eat until 10pm. Everything is slower and I don't know what to do, I can't afford more time off work for various reasons. This is not the person I am meant to be :weep: Thanks for listening.

[southey]

I know how you feel as when we get the anxiety sort of under control the depression or a general low mood can set in or maybe it has always been there and you have not noticed so much while dealing with the anxiety?

It is a problem and I wish there was an easy answer but I deal with the same low moods. Some days are better and I can't do enough in the time I have and at other times I wish I could just sleep the day away.

I just take it a day at a time and hope the better days out number the low ones. I will be speaking with my Doc on the next visit and see if she has any ideas or if there are any new happy pills invented that I could guinea pig on:D

Remember we are in winter and that may not be helping, maybe long warmer sunnier days to come will help?

Steve:)

[Bill]

Hello Vegas,
I can't accept that this has to be my life and don't think im strong enough to keep having to deal with this over and over again.

You don't have to accept that this has to be your life because I know you're stronger than you think. Try not to let this get you down.

I think I know what's happened and what's going on so maybe if I have a go at explaining, it might help you, or at least I hope so because I would love to see you get better as I know you can.

As we both know, you have been put under tremendous pressure at woork; too much for any one person to withstand. This stress you've been having to endure caused your mind to overload which triggered your anxiety etc.

You then of course felt too ill to work so have been signed off. This is perfectly natural but it can also become a trap because anxiety has the opportunity to move in with you. When we suffer an overload there is nowhere run and nowhere to hide because anxiety will stay with us if we allow it. You see, the trouble with being signed off is that although in theory we take time off to recover, our home becomes a closed box.

he reason is that when we're at home, our minds don't have enough to occupy it and when we feel anxious every morning, our minds will keep focusing on those anxiety symptoms which then follow us every minute of the day making us feel we can't escape them thus creating the box because we feel trapped by them.

Once this happens, our mood starts to drop because we start losing hope of ever being free of anxiety and of escaping the box that was supposed to help us recover. This then leads to depression, no energy, no motivation, no appetite etc. Everything becomes too much of an effort because we feel we feel we're fighting a losing battle.

Meds can help ease these feelings but they're not the cure because they can't stop you thinking about anxious feeling or stop you worrying about everything. You simply have too much time to think.

Well, that's what I think has happened, and this is what I feel you should do to help yourself...

Firstly, get that email sent to your bosses to push them for that help you need to reduce the pressure at work. Tell them you simply shouldn't be expected to do 3 peoples workload because it's too much for any one person to be expected to cope with.

While they mull on that and hopefully come back to you saying that they will listen because they want to help you get better so that you can resume your role and in doing so help themselves, you can then work on yourself to start feeling more positive about breaking free from grip that anxiety is holding you in.

What you badly need to do is get out of that house, even just for an hour or two. It doesn't matter how anxious you feel about attempting it, where you go or what you do...you simply must get away from the four walls that creating your box.

Once you're out, either your anxiety will subside or it will stay with you but if it does stay with you, it'll only be because you keep thinking about it. Therefore, if this happens, go somewhere that you enjoy such as the shops, to friends, family, the pub, or even feed the ducks! Literally anything that will stop you thinking about how you're feeling.

The key is to break anxiety because it thrives on the fuel we feed it by focusing on it all the time. Forget it or ignore it, distract our minds away from it or enjoy ourselves, are all ways to stop fuelling it. Once you stop fuelling it, the anxious feelings will disappear and your mood will rise.

The power to overcome it is in You but fighting it by fighting off feelings only serves to keep it going. When it doesn't get your attention, it totally loses it's power. While you're in your home, anxiety will move in with you because your mind is there for its taking because it knows you have too much time to think.

Work can be a good thing because it keeps our minds occupied and if we enjoy our work, we don't have time to think about feeling anxious. If though we become overloaded at work or start to fear going in, anxiety will start to take over and then the only person who can Really help you...is You. Others can guide you back to the way you were but the power to make yourself better is already in You. You just need to find it by getting back to thinking how you used to before your mind was overloaded.

I just want to add that I was overloaded more than once, I was given all the different ad's, I was under a psych, I selfh and took od's because I saw no escape but a psychologist explained to me what happened to me and once I understood, although it took a long time, I knew the only person who could really help me because only me can lead my life, was me.

You have that strength to help yourself. I Know you do. I just feel anxiety and depression are grabbing hold of you because you feel trapped because you don't know which way to turn or how to get out of it.

To sum up and to also say what I would do...

Get the email sent and see if they'll help you.
Get out of the house and visit somewhere you enjoy.
When you're indoors, keep your mind occupied by finding an enjoyable hobby or various interests.
Do all you can to stop yourself thinking about anxiety and how you're feeling.
Don't fill your mind with worries.
Don't sit or lay down without doing something to keep your mind focused.
Ask your b'f to go out with you.
Play a game, do crosswords, read a book.
Take one day at a time. Forget tomorrow.
Gradually go back to work, once the workload is eased.
Make a plan of objectives, goals.
Consider exercising.
Give yourself something to look forward to.

And to be honest, if I were near you, I'd get you out myself just to get you used to fresh air and being with people to boost your confidence because at the moment you're isolated with too much time to think. You also need reassurance once you're out...and all these things your b'f can help you with.

Vegas, don't give in to this because it can be beaten.:hugs:

[unspoken]

Wow Bill, that's some good advice there. Vegas, your situation sounds a lot like mine. Just echoing what Bill says, it's important to stay busy so you don't have time to over think things. While signed off I've been to parks and a farm and also spent a fair bit of time riding around on the top deck of buses sitting at the front looking out over London. I've also been reading some books, thrillers but not gory ones, to take me away from my current situation. Try not to think about work. It's hard not to think about work. In my job I see reminders of my work all the time in shops and on TV adverts but you have to put things aside.

If you really feel lacking in energy, do you have a garden or a window you can look out of? Just looking outside at the birds, foxes and other local wildlife can be calming and distracting for me. And do eat regularly, it'll give you more energy to do things. Look after yourself and don't think about work until you are actually there.

[Bill]

don't think about work until you are actually there.

Unspoken,
That's a very good point. How often do we think ahead about all the worst possible outcomes when we attempt anything rather than telling ourselves everything will be fine! We put ourselves in a panic before we even start.

Life can feel like one huge daily exam to pass every minute of every day because we're often terrified of failing. They say stress is supposed to be good for us to a point but with anxiety it can make us freeze so that we can't perform because we can't take one minute at a time without shooting forward to all the things that could go wrong.

I often think of things like the football penalty taker. A confident player will kick the ball knowing exactly how and where he's going to place it with the belief he'll score every time whereas a taker lacking in confidence will doubt himself to the point of fearing all the outcomes of the penalty being saved. It doesn't mean confidence will always get you there but it certainly gives you a better chance of succeeding.

This is why I'm trying to urge Vegas to get away from the four walls because when you're stuck indoors, it's so easy for your confidence to be gradually sapped out of you through anxious thoughts which can feel overpowering to the point of making you feel unable to move. The longer anxiety holds you its grip, the harder it is to convince yourself you can break through it.

It doesn't mean jumping in the deep end though of rushing back into a full weeks overstressed work which would probably just bring you straight back down again; it's just getting out for an hour or two to keep that self-confidence up to stop anxiety taking hold.

Sometimes I find myself feeling lethargic and anxious about doing anything but I know that once I've got out and about for an hour or so doing something I enjoy, I feel so much better in myself when I get back.

I realise there are alot of people who do feel trapped in their homes unable to go out because of fear and when they do attempt getting back to work their anxiety takes over again but that's probably because they're going back to a situation they find too stressful where nothing has changed in which case they really need to look for opportunities finding a job they enjoy and while doing so looking for ways, as you are, to keep their confidence up.

I found doing a job that I enjoyed made a huge difference to my anxiety levels. I looked forward to going in and felt more confident in myself. Doing things we enjoy whether at work or at home, or out and about can make such a difference to how we feel about ourselves.

Too much stress can really drag us down and make us want to retreat into what we think is a place of safety which in reality becomes an anxiety trap, and I really don't want Vegas falling into that trap.

[Vegas 2013]

Hi Guys

thanks very much for your replies I appreciate it a lot. I haven't been on for a few days as have been moping, but Bill I have sent that email. Made some plans for the weekend to get our and about and do feel a little better today, got some of my appetite back :) Your both so right we get trapped in our safe place and the anxiety feeds on itself. See my my doc on Tuesday and will see how i feel about work when Monday comes. In the meantime I am taking advice and getting out of my box. Thanks again :)

[Bill]

Hello Vegas,
I'm glad you've sent that email. Let's hope they listen because its in both theirs and your interests. If they don't listen they really don't deserve someone as conscientious as you who has been pushed beyond any persons limit.

I wouldn't worry too much about rushing back to work. Just attempt it when you feel more confident by which time you also may have heard something back from your email. I would concentrate on keeping your mood up and feeling good about yourself because it'll help to form a base so that you feel stronger in yourself when you do feel ready to go back.

Be kind to yourself Vegas and don't let things get you down because you've been through alot recently and what you've experienced since has been perfectly natural. I am very confident that you'll find your way through this.:hugs: