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sunshine8
31-01-13, 09:15
Where to start?! Ok…. I’m 32 married with 2 small children. I have suffered with anxiety all my life, ever since I can remember. My mum died when I was 12 from a brain tumor, as a result of the tumor she also suffered with epilepsy along with other things. I can remember as a child living every day in constant fear of her having a fit and me being on my own with her sometimes in unfamiler places. Sometimes I used to think she was dying. I was trained to deal with her when she had a fit but it was never really explained to me what was happening or was I asked how I felt. To me my whole childhood was affected by her illness and I had to grow up very fast. Much time spent at doctors and hospitals. 20 years on and the feeling of panic is constantly with me in everything I do, everywhere I go. I’m physically and mentally tired and I want it to stop but I don’t know how? I don’t have attacks as such but a constant high level of panic and fear. I continue everyday life because I have to. I struggle.
Since about the age of 16 I have suffered with stomach problems and almost constantly have an upset stomach. I have had numerous tests and nothing has been found. Doctor suggests stress related IBS. When I wake up in the morning there is a second when I feel ok and then the panic hits, I have to rush to the loo because my stomach is in knots. I think it happens because my body is soo tense all day and when I sleep it relaxes.
I have been to the doctors about how I have felt and have not been diagnosed with anything inparticular. I have been given Sertrailne an anti depressant which I have struggled several times to take. I’m only on 25mg but it heightens my anxiety to the point my insides feel like they are on fire, I also feel nauseous which I struggle to cope with. I also have a fear of being sick and losing control myself, this I think also stems from seeing mum unwell. That’s my biggest fear every morning I wake up and think today is the day, I feel sick and I’m gonna be. I start planning how I can get away from work if I need to if the anxiety doesn’t settle and it usually does. This is now affecting me soo bad that I don’t eat all day whilst in work. It’s my way of controlling it. If I don’t eat I can’t be sick I tell myself. I’m also addicted to cough sweets which I know is no good and will contribute to my stomach problems.
My dad is an anxious person and a worrier. My husband doesn’t understand and his attutide is just get on with things and be happy. From the outside my life looks good but inside I feel horrible.
On a different note I have had marriage problems over the last few years. I have been with my husband since I was 13 and have had no other relationship until recently to my ashame I had an affair for almost 2 years. I’m not a bad person and I wasn’t looking for this, it just happened. This has recently ended. I found someone who is amazing and who I love very much. And for once in my life, when I was with him this hell I feel vanished.
I don’t know why I couldn’t end my marriage for this other guy. I just can’t let go of things. Scared I will feel like I did when mum died. Scared my children will feel like I did when she died if our marriage ended. So I have been in the same house, same relationship and same job all my life. I don’t know what part of my life to tackle first, I want to feel well but it’s a vicous cycle. Since meeting this other guy I know there is a big world out there and I want to enjoy it. I feel I have soo much I want to do and soo much more inside me. I have to get well not just for me but for my children.
Sorry if the above is abit jumbled, just wrote it as it came.
I just don’t know where to go from here?! Please help me if you can, thank you x

nomorepanic
31-01-13, 09:25
Hi sunshine8

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

Daisy Sue
31-01-13, 09:43
hi Sunshine8, welcome to the forum :)

i'm so sorry to hear of everything you've had to deal with, and from such a young age - not surprising it's all had such a massive effect on you.

i can empathise with being in a constant state of fear over someone close to you.. it's more than worry, it's an acute on-alert type of feeling, and when that goes on for some time, it takes root... doesn't disappear when the reason for the fear ends..

regarding your job, house, marriage - i'm guessing that maybe it's a case of better the devil you know, it's safe, it's predictable... doing anything else is scary and unpredictable.. but you have one life, and we owe it to ourselves to try and make it as good as we can. however, making big decisions and changes is virtually impossible when you're in a high anxiety state all the time.

maybe all you need to feel your job, marriage etc is ok, is to get out there and do more for you, your own personal enjoyment... you've gone from one carer position to another, maybe it's you-time now.

i think you've taken a big step by joining up here, and saying what's happening... i hope you'll get loads of support and advice, and get your confidence back to tackle whatever you need to, with a clearer mind.

Charlie11
31-01-13, 10:00
Hi sunshine:welcome: you have had it hard. Keep with the tabs it seems to be that most of the tabs increase anxiety at the start ( which I think is bizarre) mines does and still is I'm on Prozac. This is a great site loads of helpful info.

Baggs
31-01-13, 10:23
Welcome to the site. I hope you find as much help as I have. I wish you all the best.

Baggs

Arnie365
31-01-13, 19:34
welcome to NMP. Im sure you will get lots out of this site

sunshine8
01-02-13, 18:02
Thank you for reading and the replies. This is a great site and please I found it x