Relationship OCD...Help!

[trinaelizabeth2]

Hello all :) I'm new here. I'm pretty sure I'm posting in the right area.

I have been dealing with relationship OCD for the past week. It's all very new to me (the OCD part, that is). I've dealt with anxiety and depression for seven years now, but this whole OCD thing is starting to take a toll on me and my relationship with my boyfriend. I know deep down that I love my boyfriend with all of my heart. We've been together for almost two years. I don't want to end it; in fact, we've been talking about getting married. However, this ROCD is giving me the worst thoughts ever, like "You don't really love him", "You're just faking it", and "You don't belong together". Those thoughts lead into panic attacks. I don't want to be in this "shell" any more. I'm so afraid that it's going to ruin my relationship. Have any of you gone through this? What helped? Thanks in advance for any input and advice. I hope this can get better!

[Tunguska]

Hello Trinaelizabeth2 :)

First thing I can say is thank you for posting! I'm 21 and have had depression and anxiety already before learning it was linked to OCD. I only have Pure O and it's been going on and off. I had Harm-O and also hypochondria.

I've been with my first ever boyfriend for 5 months. For the past week I have also been dealing with relationship OCD and it's a nightmare. It started for no reason, I woke up one morning in his bed and I realized "this relationship could end and I could be the one ending it" - this led to a panic attack because I started questioning myself: "why would I think about this if I really love him?", "Do I really love him?", "What do I like in him?", "Are we made to be together?" etc.
Moreover, I feel extremely guilty of just thinking about ending it, because I know how much it would hurt him and how it would hurt me. But even with this my OCD questions me: "would that be terrible? maybe I wouldn't be sad". It's so difficult to make the difference between your OCD and what you really feel.

Relationship OCD is not enough discussed about. I contacted someone leading a group session for OCD sufferers and I'm considering attending it. We need to get a grip on reality and stop ruminating and questioning ourselves all the time - it prevents us from having a happy life and enjoying every moment with people we love.

I hope members with relationship OCD can come here and provide helpful tips :).