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View Full Version : hi everyone - thanks for a wonderful site !!!



cathee
03-09-06, 22:37
Hi- I have a disabled daughter she is 17 and has cerebral palsy, she is a wheelchair user and though bright and articulate she can not tend to any of her own needs.Ilived overseas for many years and returned to the uk. when she was 6 weeks old after managing to finally escape a violent marriage. She was born very premature due to domestic violence. I have been married four times,luckily my present husband is wonderful with me and all my "baggage". It is very stressful being a parent of a disabled child, in fact i remember my health visitor saying when Lisa was very young that in fact it is a disabled family. I also have four more children aged 27, 23,21and 15.

My son of 27 has tried to commit suicide on numerous occasions and suffers from ongoing depression a legacy of trying out amphetamines when he was 17. He still lives at home though he has two children from two failed relationships.

It is very difficult as i never seem to have a minute to myself as my son's children are often here visiting. Although he holds down a responsible job he is no help around the home and is in fact very demanding.

My depression and anxiety started after the birth of my youngest daughter 15 years ago.I had post natal depression, my cpn told me it was caused by years of stress which had led to an overload.

Since then i have had periods of good mental health which have lasted for quite some time but sadly it only takes the slightest hiccup in my life to leave me feeling really anxious. (and start me comfort eating i have put on three stone in the last 5months so my self esteem is at an all time low)

My latest episode of anxiety started a year ago in May when i lost my brother very unexpectedly, as if that was not bad enough,my father whom i had not seen for 20years turned up for the funeral. That opened another pandora's box for me as i had a most awful childhood and thought i had managed to bury the memories of that childhood forvever,but when i saw him everything came flooding back.

Since my brothers death i have had daily episodes of anxiety in fact i feel anxious the whole time! butterflies in my stomach and a feeling that i cannot get enough air when i breathe.

Over the past 17 years i have had various jobs but difficulties in trying to find childcare for lisa and having to take time off when she is ill have meant unfortunately i have not managed to keep them for very long.I am presently off work (i work as a care assistant in an old age home) as i hurt my neck, but to be truthful,i feel so anxious at present i do not think i could manage my job, running my home and looking after my children. Before Lisa was born i was a legal secretary but that feels like a lifetime ago.

The worst thing for me is that i feel very isolated, i have not made any friends in the 18years i have lived in this area and though i have a large family they are not really much support.

Oh my goodness, i have waffled on - all i really wanted to say is -you are not alone and if i can help in any way please feel free to e mail me át kathleen_carvil@hotmail.com. I have fought so many battles with the authorities to get various help for lisa that i am now a mine of information relating to disabled children !!!

Sorry to have taken up so much space but when i started to type this i just could not stop!!!

take care
kath

kath

lainey
03-09-06, 23:35
Hi Kath

Welcome to the forum, you'll make loads of friends here and you need never feel isolated again.
I'm not surprised you suffer with anxiety with everything that has gone on in your life chuck. I hope that posting it on here has helped.
Hre if you need me
Take care

Elaine x

polly daydream
03-09-06, 23:41
Hi Kath and welcome to the forum.

Best wishes,

Polly

manmoor
04-09-06, 00:47
Hi Kath,

A big warm welcome to you. We are all here to help each other. Never feel alone.

Take Care

Mandyxx

Granny Primark
04-09-06, 10:05
Hi kath,

My goodness you really have had so much to cope with over the years. Its no wonder you feel the way you do.
Well your not on your own now cus you will make many friends (which i hope to be one) who wil empathise with you.
People who really do care and want to help you.
Hope things start getting better for you soon.

Take care
LYNN xx

trac67
04-09-06, 14:26
Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

nicjay
04-09-06, 16:25
Hi Cathee

Welcome to the forum, you will find a lot of support here as well as meet some nice people.

Nicola
xxx:)

Clare_63
04-09-06, 20:34
Hi Kath

Welcome to the forum. We are all here for similar reasons so you will always find someone to offer help, advice and even a shoulder when it gets too tough

Ps you make great friends too (",)


Take care

Clare :)

Obstacles are those horrible things you see when you take your mind off your goals (",)

Neebie
04-09-06, 21:29
Hi Cathee
I'm sorry to hear you have had such a time of it. I'm new here but have found this site really helpful X I too have a daughter with special needs (she's 4) X Nice to meet you X Hope you have better times soon X
Neebie

cathee
04-09-06, 22:58
thankyou so much everyone for your heartwarming replies.

kath
xx

kath

yorkylover
04-09-06, 23:10
Hi Cathee you will find a lot of friends here and great advice.my brother is an alcoholic and has also tried to commite suicide in the past.At the moment he is on remand in prison.My partner has a sister with special needs to.People on this forum are great.You have had a lot to cope with in your life.
Take Care.

Ellen XX

mad_shell66
06-09-06, 08:58
hi, im sorry to hear about your hard life. i hope you will find no more panic a break away from that. best of luck
shellxx

Paddington
06-09-06, 11:14
hello Kath,my whata brood you have hun!Hard work hey?But lovely too.I have 3 grown up chidren who still rely on me quite heavily for support .I dont mind like you,butsome days it is hard.I dont have a disabledchild[i have worked in this field tho so have seen what a hard job it is]my eldest son has had all sorst of mental health problems [he also took drugs in his teens,he also has 3 children by two failed relationships!!]i dont want to blame him but,i think the way he was as a teenager and adult if i am honest coupled with nursing a dying father[i hadnot seen him for years guess i came in handy?]put me on a downward spiral to the anxiety disorder.I too comfort eat and since an operation 5 years ago i have gained 3 and a half stone and loathe my self i am huge!!!!!Ooops sorry got carried away there!!what i am trying to say is we are all so alike sharing the same life journey as it were and i have improved leaps and bounds since joining here,Lovely to meet you Kath.Love mary rose,xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

cathee
06-09-06, 23:03
thankyou once more for your wonderful messages of support. xxx

kath
x

kath