catangel
03-09-06, 22:46
Hi guys,
Well i did it, I went away with my husband to be, for a short break to visit his family before the big day. However it didnt go quite according to plan. His family invited us over to go to stay and spend the night at a wine tasting. Theyve been before and were raving about it so i was actually excited to be going.
Now to get to his family's place we had to take a short ferry ride over. Ive done the crossing before so I knew what to expect and besides a few nerves to begin with I was fine :)
The problem began when we arrived for the wine tasting. The venue was PACKED!! So packed that it took 15 minutes to fight our way through the crowds (which im not too good at anyway) but all was fine, we got some drinks and relaxed a little. As the night was drawing to a close it suddenly dawned on me that I would have to get back through the crowd to get out. I could feel myself starting to panic so I took myself away for a moment until I calmed down, although every time I looked around all I could see was a sea of faces which was very daunting.
In the end we decided to head back and wait for everyone outside so that we were not in the rush as the venue closed. It helped an awful lot and I managed to get back to the house without a panic.
However today when we left I was feeling extremely anxious on the journey to the ferry, especially as we got lost!!!! And just before we got to the sea terminal, the panic was so bad that i actually had to get my fiance to stop the car.
I took a moment to relax which took a while as I had managed to get myself to the stage where my lips and hands were tingling due to hyperventilating and felt so light headed that I couldnt stand up. It was so bad that even though I told myself to relax and i was fine I couldnt stop it, I was convinced I was going to be sick which made it even worse!
Eventually we made it into the queue, (I was still feeling bad but luckily we missed the first ferry which gave me time to go to the loo and try to calm myself down a bit). By the time we got onto the next one I was feeling a little calmer although extremely tired by now and still a bit dizzy. Once I was on there though and had found a place to sit (close enough to the loos just in case :)) Can you believe it......I was fine!! and even the long car journey home didnt bother me.
Although I got through it and did it, I just cant help but feeling so frustrated, dissapointed and angry with myself, even ashamed that my fiance had to see me at my worst whilst having the panic attack! I just wish I could relax and enjoy myself once in a while, without the feeling that the next attack could be just around the corner :(
Sorry that this is long winded I just felt I needed to get it off my chest. Thanks,
Cat xx
Well i did it, I went away with my husband to be, for a short break to visit his family before the big day. However it didnt go quite according to plan. His family invited us over to go to stay and spend the night at a wine tasting. Theyve been before and were raving about it so i was actually excited to be going.
Now to get to his family's place we had to take a short ferry ride over. Ive done the crossing before so I knew what to expect and besides a few nerves to begin with I was fine :)
The problem began when we arrived for the wine tasting. The venue was PACKED!! So packed that it took 15 minutes to fight our way through the crowds (which im not too good at anyway) but all was fine, we got some drinks and relaxed a little. As the night was drawing to a close it suddenly dawned on me that I would have to get back through the crowd to get out. I could feel myself starting to panic so I took myself away for a moment until I calmed down, although every time I looked around all I could see was a sea of faces which was very daunting.
In the end we decided to head back and wait for everyone outside so that we were not in the rush as the venue closed. It helped an awful lot and I managed to get back to the house without a panic.
However today when we left I was feeling extremely anxious on the journey to the ferry, especially as we got lost!!!! And just before we got to the sea terminal, the panic was so bad that i actually had to get my fiance to stop the car.
I took a moment to relax which took a while as I had managed to get myself to the stage where my lips and hands were tingling due to hyperventilating and felt so light headed that I couldnt stand up. It was so bad that even though I told myself to relax and i was fine I couldnt stop it, I was convinced I was going to be sick which made it even worse!
Eventually we made it into the queue, (I was still feeling bad but luckily we missed the first ferry which gave me time to go to the loo and try to calm myself down a bit). By the time we got onto the next one I was feeling a little calmer although extremely tired by now and still a bit dizzy. Once I was on there though and had found a place to sit (close enough to the loos just in case :)) Can you believe it......I was fine!! and even the long car journey home didnt bother me.
Although I got through it and did it, I just cant help but feeling so frustrated, dissapointed and angry with myself, even ashamed that my fiance had to see me at my worst whilst having the panic attack! I just wish I could relax and enjoy myself once in a while, without the feeling that the next attack could be just around the corner :(
Sorry that this is long winded I just felt I needed to get it off my chest. Thanks,
Cat xx