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Annie0904
01-02-13, 12:27
I had 1.5 hours sleep worrying about it :( I have to say though that it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. The doctor was a lovely lady. Asked lots of questions and when she asked about if I could go out on my own I said occasionally I can and she said "Well I think we had better say you can't as with anxiety you won't know from day to day how you will be and won't be able to plan things." My step daughter told her that some days I can't even make it down the stairs. If anything I felt that she was prompting me to say things that would give me more points. She also said that she was hopeful that the letters I had taken from my GP and Psychologist would help in my case. She apologised that it is not her who makes the final decision. She then did some tests to see if I could lift my arms up, move my head touch my toes etc. She said I didn't move my left foot very well (the one I fractured) so would put that down. I was so anxious while I was in there that I sat and cried through most of it. I also had a dizzy spell when she asked me to stand up and she noticed I was going dizzy. She said it may be 8 weeks before I hear anything. I am pleased it is over with. I have a sickness review at work at 1:10 so my anxious day isn't over with yet :(

CarmR
01-02-13, 12:37
Hi Annie

Glad that the Atos Medical is over and done with for you now...and you'll be fine at the meeting today..you can do it!
Sending you lots of :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Carmel x

Dazza123
01-02-13, 12:39
I'm shocked that you had a decent understanding person, but good for you and well done for getting through it!

This afternoon has got to be easier than this morning so hold onto that thought, good luck and let us know how you got on :)

Annie0904
01-02-13, 12:41
Thank you Carmel I am dreading the sickness review. It is to discuss phased return and I want to get back but don't know if I can do it. I will never know though if I don't try.

---------- Post added at 11:41 ---------- Previous post was at 11:40 ----------

I hope yours goes well this afternoon Dazza. The doctor I had seemed very understanding of anxiety and was actually telling me how I bad she knows i will be feeling.

swgrl09
01-02-13, 15:06
Hi Annie, glad you had a doctor who sounds pretty understanding and trying to do what is best for you. Hoping your sickness review goes well :hugs:

Annie0904
01-02-13, 15:55
Back from my sickness review and couldn't be happier...I have a new line manager. They are changing the structure of things and my new line manager is someone I really like and find it easy to get on with :). I plan to go back on 11th Feb just for 1.5 hours a day then gradually increase my hours over a month. :D

Magic
01-02-13, 16:23
Well done Annie. So glad all went well for you and you had a nice doctor.
One step at a time Annie xx

Annie0904
01-02-13, 16:35
Thank you Magic :) X

CarmR
01-02-13, 16:57
Ah really happy for you! :yesyes:

Annie0904
01-02-13, 17:31
Ah really happy for you! :yesyes:

Thank you Carmel

Dazza123
01-02-13, 18:21
So its a good day eh, dont get those too often :yesyes:

Mine wasnt too bad, she tried putting words into my mouth, tried to catch me out a little, but when you are telling the truth it makes it impossible to do that doesnt it, so im happy, left them with all of my letters from doctor, psych, etc so im not worried at all.

Glad you got work sorted, lets hope it goes well for you Annie and you can get some normality back in your life in the future!!

Annie0904
01-02-13, 18:25
I hope so Dazza and I hope everything sorts it self out for you too.

Sparkle1984
01-02-13, 20:39
I'm glad both appointments went well for you. It's good that you will have a manager you get on with very well; hopefully it will make work easier. :)

Annie0904
01-02-13, 20:43
Sparkles I am so happy about my new line manager, she is lovely. I have worked with her before and get on well with her. I can't believe how different I feel knowing that :) x

almamatters
01-02-13, 20:50
Pleased for you Annie :hugs: xxx

Annie0904
01-02-13, 20:51
Thanks Alma, I just hope I can cope with it..I feel like a weight has been lifted off me though having the new manager.

almamatters
01-02-13, 20:54
Sure you will be fine Annie, it's good news you have a date to go back and I am pleased your ATOS appointment was successful. You deserve things to go well for you. :hugs:

unspoken
01-02-13, 22:57
Wow I am also surprised you found a sympathetic ATOS assessor after everything I have heard about them but that sounds hopeful. I'm glad it went well.

A new line manager that you know and trust sounds like a great change. Being able to trust your manager and talk to them is really important. Going back for 1.5 hours a day sounds a good idea too. I wasn't expecting to go back until Monday but I made the snap decision to go in this afternoon for a couple of hours. It really helped starting on a Friday afternoon, it was the quietest time of the week with the fewest people around and everyone is in a good mood. Just thought you might find a Friday an easier day to pop into the office but I don't know how your job works exactly. I am feeling less anxious about Monday now. I was feeling awful on my way into work but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting (things rarely are!)

Annie0904
01-02-13, 23:18
I work in a school but they have agreed for me to go in for the last lesson of the day for my first week. Mornings are the worst time for me with anxiety so my phased return will go backwards through the day. I am pleased that your visit to work went well for you.

AuntieMoosie
02-02-13, 03:30
Annie I'm so glad that both your appointments went well :D

On your return to work, just take it each day as it comes, just go slowly and build up your hours steadily :) I'm sure you're going to be just fine, just make sure it's baby steps to start with, we'll all be here to support you :hugs:

Dazza your appointment sounded better than your first so I hope that all will be well for you :)

Dazza123
02-02-13, 09:07
Thanks AuntieMoosie.

Annie, dont want to hijack your thread here, but just wanted to mention, and to show the difference in assessors and how they work. At my assessment, it was quite rushed as they were running late, my appt was 35 minutes late, they rang just before I left to cancel, and there was no way I was letting that happen, there were people there who had been waiting 2 hours, and I still went in before them somehow. Anyway, this lady, though nice (relief) was telling me, rather than asking me, she said things like 'you can do this, and you can do that cant you' and also, 'you dont do this and you dont do that do you' as an example, I leave the house rarely, and I go from the house to the car, I do not walk anywhere, and I always go out with someone on the rare occasion that I do. After telling her this, she then went on to say 'you dont have any trouble getting on a bus/train alone do you? When I had already told her I dont go out alone, and I only go out with anyone ie my other half in the car. So though I told her this, she was then telling me, not asking, but telling me that I can and do go out alone on buses and trains. I havent been on a train since I was a child, and the last time I went on a bus was when I was 26.

She also asked about my dog, which I told her about, so after telling her I do not go out, she asked does my dog enjoy going for a walk, so I said yes, out in the back garden.

So although this lady was 'nicer' than the last, it is still clearly their intention to prove you are a liar, that there is nothing 'really' wrong with you, and that you can cope and get back to work, its in their makeup, its their job to get you off benefits, they have targets to hit and will do what they can to hit them.

Annie, you seemed to have had a really decent assessor, and thats brilliant, I am glad for you and even a bit jealous lol, but I just want to point out to anyone else that has to go through this that unfortunately, the intention of ATOS is to get you off benefits and back to work, its what they are employed to do.

I recorded my assessment on my mobile phone, which I will type up and use at tribunal if I have to because I clearly stated my problems and conditions. I also took 7 letters, 2 from Psych and Doctor, and 5 other appt letters, and she didnt even read them. Due to my Dysphagia, there is no way they can fail me, or even put me into WRAG, because its a support group descriptor, but I'll bet they will try it. Luckily there is a place called the Riverside Advice Centre here, they helped fill my forms in, and they have solicitors working for them, so if I hit any problems I can go straight back to them and they will support and fight on my behalf, so Im not worried at all with regards to the outcome of my assessment, but as I said it will not surprise me if they try to fail me.

Again, sorry to hijack Annie, but just wanted to get across what these people can be like.

Once again, im thrilled your assessment was better than mine, and your phased return to work sounds great, so hope it goes very well for you :bighug1:

Annie0904
02-02-13, 10:13
Dazza you are not hijacking my thread at all. It is all relevent. I hope you get the result you want this time. I said to my husband that it will be sods law for me to be deemed unfit for work when I am going back. I hadnt realised how much stress work was causing me until I was told about my new line manager and I could have cried with relief. I am lookin forward to going back in my new dept now. I will only be there 1.5 hours a day the first week then it will be half term :)

Annie0904
02-02-13, 15:50
I had an email from one of my work colleagues who I spoke to yesterday and she said she didn't think I looked well enough to be going back! Not what I wanted to hear I guess :(

Janine
02-02-13, 18:25
Annie don't take any notice, people kept saying that to me, I think a lot of it was because I had lost a lot of weight and nervous about seeing everyone, you do what you feel is right for you and like you say it will nearly be half term.

xxx

Annie0904
02-02-13, 18:31
Janine you are right and I have lost loads of weight too. Everyone has commented on the amount of weight I have lost. All I can do is try and my new line manager is very supportive so I know she will help me. If it doesn't work out, well at least I know I will have tried :) xx

panickyme
02-02-13, 22:12
Annnnnnnnnie your going back to work? Sooooooooo proud of you!!!! I am just catching up, was sick all last week. Good for you. :yesyes::yesyes::yesyes:

Annie0904
02-02-13, 22:19
I am aiming to :) I hope it works out. I have been to the Metro Centre today :) (big shopping mall) I only went in 2 shops but I didn't feel anxious at all :D Sorry you have been sick :( I hope you are feeling better now?

panickyme
02-02-13, 22:31
Look at you go!!!!! 2 shops that is big. (did you get anything good?) and thank you so much, I am feeling much better. Now we can talk about our day with the kids.......Hope your kids are good. I just know you are going to do great, and what a great way to start slowly, little bit at a time, baby steps, perfect! Don't let that anxiety bug get the best of you, keep thinking positive. (aww, those children are going to be so happy to see you) I am so happy for you. :hugs:

Annie0904
02-02-13, 22:39
I had lost a diamond from my engagement ring and paid to have it repaired last year and then the same one came out again so I took it back. the other shop...I bought 2 children's hats reduced from £12 to £2. Every year I fill shoe boxes with gifts for children in other countries who wouldn't get Christmas presents (Samaritans Purse) I don't know if you have the same. I thought the hats would be lovely to go in the boxes. 2 of my students have emailed me to say they are excited about me going back :)

panickyme
02-02-13, 22:53
Awwww Annie that is adorable, they must have missed you so much. Ughhh, glad you got your ring fixed, and that is so cute what you did, buying the hats. (you are such a thoughtful person) we have things that are similar but not that. ( I love that idea) and what a great deal you got. I love bargains!!!!! Are you still having bad weather. Today we had groundhog day (not sure if you ever heard of this one, your probably going to say those crazy Americans, lol) anyway he is a very famous ground hog named puxatauwney Phil, (I definitely spelled that wrong) and if he comes out of his hole and sees his shadow we are going to have 6 more weeks of winter, if not spring will come early, well.....he did not see his shadow, so according to him spring is coming. Can't wait to see signs of flowers, and warmer weather. Just something about winter ugh, that makes you feel worse. :hugs:

Annie0904
02-02-13, 22:57
I saw some posts on facebook about groundhog day but didn't know what it was :) We had a little more snow last night but it has already gone again so hopefully we will see spring soon too :)

Tessar
02-02-13, 23:08
Back from my sickness review and couldn't be happier...I have a new line manager. They are changing the structure of things and my new line manager is someone I really like and find it easy to get on with :). I plan to go back on 11th Feb just for 1.5 hours a day then gradually increase my hours over a month. :D

Annie, I am so pleased for you :yesyes::yesyes::yesyes:

---------- Post added at 22:06 ---------- Previous post was at 22:06 ----------


I had an email from one of my work colleagues who I spoke to yesterday and she said she didn't think I looked well enough to be going back! Not what I wanted to hear I guess :(

Yes but at least they were honest with you, that counts for a lot you know

---------- Post added at 22:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:06 ----------


2 of my students have emailed me to say they are excited about me going back :)

What a huge and lovely compliment for you, people only make the effort like this when they mean it. This is firm testament to your strong worth to these people and I would imagine just the boost to your confidence you need right now.

panickyme
02-02-13, 23:09
Annie you need a ground hog!!!!!! Lol (do you even have them over there?) Hoping spring comes soon for you also. :hugs:

Annie0904
02-02-13, 23:19
Annie you need a ground hog!!!!!! Lol (do you even have them over there?) Hoping spring comes soon for you also. :hugs:

No we don't have ground hogs here :) x

---------- Post added at 22:19 ---------- Previous post was at 22:16 ----------

Tessar You are right they were honest with me and I know I don't look well. This accident with my foot has really taken it out of me and I need to get my strength back, I look in the mirror and think is that me?! :D

Annie0904
20-02-13, 17:29
I have had a letter today saying I will get ESA and will be in the working group what ever that means. I am pleased about that as after my first week phased return made my anxiety worse, work have agreed to a compromise agreement and I will leave work next Thursday.

clio51
20-02-13, 18:01
Hi anni

Do you mean you finishing work now?

The work related activity group means, means you will be paid for 352 days at the work related group rate think it's 99 pound week. You will maybe asked to go to the jobcentre for up to 6 visits in that year to see how you are if you want to go on any courses and I think not sure you go to a job councillor( might not be the right term) for them to see what your interested in doing etc.

How long have you put put in the work related activity group for it should say on letter. But anyway you can only get it for 12 mths, contribution(ie national insurance) then you go on to income based national insurance where it goes on how much money is coming in your household.
If you want to you can appeal and see if you get in the support group where you stay in it as long as you past for support group and no 12 mths contribution limit. Hope this helps

Annie0904
20-02-13, 18:12
I am finishing work on 28th Feb. I am hoping I can find something less stressful though so not really wanting to stay on benefits if I can manage to get some other work. Will just have to see how it goes. Thank you for the info Clio, I appreciate it :) x

clio51
20-02-13, 18:19
Good idea anni, less stress is always good do it when you feel right.
Best wishes. X