Parent of a self harmer

[angelofthesouth]

Hi everyone,

My daughter is 15yrs old and self harming. It got to a point where I thought she had done herself serious damage, fortunately it looked worse than it was. However I decided to take her to the hospital as I was so scared when I found her in a pool of blood.
The hospital kept us in overnight and she saw the counsellor the next day. My daughter had an appointment about 10 days later but had expressed she didnt want to go. Over the next two days since the hospital visit she harmed a further two times. She didnt attend her appointment.

I understand this is her way of coping, my biggest fear is she will go too far one day and there wont be anyone around to help.

I am becoming increasingly worried as now it seems she doesnt feel hungry. She hasnt had a school lunch for at least two days. She is very slim naturally and seems to be losing more weight.

She has just walked in and admitted to smoking when I asked if she had. She says its stress!!

Are there anymore parents going through this?

[nomorepanic]

Hi angelofthesouth

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[ynos]

:welcome:

[Wolfie]

Hey hun,

I'm sorry to read about your current circumstances, I'm afraid I'm not a parent and don't have experience with this kind of situation, but just wanted to welcome you to the site, hun.

Chris

[Anxious_gal]

I feel bad for anyone who is de stressed n ends up in a useless hospital where you're lucky too see any sort of mental health professional :(
The lack of support is dreadful .

You're daughter is mentaly ill she's also a child so why are you letting her make bad choices?
You have to be parent here and accept she may hate you for forcing her into treatment but it's for her own well being.

Try talking and finding out what's causing the emotional stress.
For the love of god do not get angry with her or make her feel bad about herself or tell her how her cutting is stressing you out. I'm sure she feels bad enough with rubbing it in.

Cutting can also be addictive, so be very careful there, if she's refusing help it may be because she doesn't want to give up cutting.

Go on her computer, check her Internet history, press controle and H
You might be able to figure out what's going on by looking at the websites she is visiting.

Teenagers do not have the tools to deal with stress.
I mean simple small things can feel like the end of the world to a teenager.
They are under so much social pressure to be popular, pretty, boyfriends, and can be judged pretty harshly by their peers and throw crazy hormones and puberty into the mix .

I don't eat when I am anxious . But she could have an eating disorder.
So looking at the websites she's been visiting might help you there.

She needs help now. How bad is going to get before you decide enough is enough and she needs therapy whether she likes it or not?

She's not going to get better if nothing changes if anything she will get worse.

If you can't talk to her maybe there's a family member she might be more likely to open up to?

[jill]

Hi there:D:hugs:

:welcome: to the site.

My heart goes out to you :hugs:it must be sooo dame hard for YOU and your family right now :hugs: and your daugther must be going through a terribly emotional time right now :hugs:


My daughter was 15 when she had major hiccup with mental health problems, so I have little insight on how your are feeling right now :hugs::hugs::hugs:

My daughter did not self harm, but had major, major problems, fears of staying on her own, going out ohhh so on and so on, (will not go into that)

It is DAME hard knowing which way to go, but hunny, YOUR CAN help her through this :hugs: feel your way through it AND YOU WILL do the right things.

You can look up on net of local child mental health teams, ring them and talk to them, they WILL give you your options on what to do next.

They can advice you on what to say and do to help her.

From what I know myself, they will not force the child to see them, but as her mother you can override the child's decision, if you feel she is a danger to herself. Myself I never needed to do this, it took me Mmm, about 6 weeks to encouege my daughter to see the gp and then the child mental health team because at first she was sooo fearful of a lot of things.

It is not easy recovering from mental health problems, I am ONE proud MUM, daughter has done sooo well, she still has a bit to go, but she IS recovering :yesyes:

YOU CAN help your daughter hun :hugs: and it time, she will get better, but this takes a lot of hard work, time and the right support.

PLEASE hun, give your local, child mental health team a ring, or call a local, child psychiatrist.

I know its hard for you :hugs: but there IS help out there

YOU TAKE CARE

Wishing your daughter well

LOVE JILL XX

[lindadiana]

hello,i read your post its so hard to know where to turn for help when your childs not well instinct is to protect and let them of for fear of further hurt,i do think you need help maybe go and see your gp on your own and tell them what your daughter is doing im sure they will advise whats is best for her,my kids havent had this but i have,im 54 and never in my life had i thought of any thing like this but when i lost my mum four years ago then my dad a year later i started self harmingi wasnt cutting i was scraping skin off with my nails until i bled on my arms and legs,i know why i did it it felt i had control over one thing it was deffo associated with losing my parents and vast changes that came with it the lonliness more fear etc,what made me stop, my son he became ill and asked me promise him id stop and never do it again,i kept that promise to him as worry over him being ill made me realise what i had been doing to him more than myself,i really hope you get some help for your daughter and peace of mind for yourself too hugs linda